Chapter Five: Fate can be a Cruel Mistress
Hitomi tossed and turned in her bed. Although she was asleep, pleasant dreams did not come to her. Instead, she relived the recent turning points in her life...
"Can you believe it Hitomi? In about twenty-four hours Amano and I are going to be in America!" A red-headed woman in clashing pink p.js squealed.
Hitomi could only grin back at her ex-manager sitting across from her. Yukari Uchida, the energetic woman sipping her hot chocolate in front of her, was Hitomi's best friend. She was also only one of four people on Earth that knew of Hitomi's adventures on the mystical world of Gaea. And tomorrow morning, Yukari Uchida, and her boyfriend Susumu Amano, would be on their way to America to attend college for the next few years.
Despite the fact that this was the last night that Hitomi would be spending with her best friend for a very long time, Hitomi was happy. Both Yukari and Amano were going to fulfill their dreams.
"Yo 'Tomi! Ya there?"
Hitomi blinked as Yukari's hand waved frantically in front of her. "Oh! Sorry Yuka-chan... I sort of wandered off," she apologized.
Yukari chuckled and finished off her hot chocolate before speaking again. "S'okay 'Tomi... I know ya got a lot on your mind."
"Mmmm," Hitomi replied while sipping her cooled chocolate. "Moving in to this apartment, track try-outs, orientation, and my best friends moving away. Lots to think about you know?"
"Oh yes, I bet you're thinking, 'Thank God those lovey-dovey maniacs are finally out of my hair!'" Yukari responded melodramatically.
Hitomi chuckled, "Sure I am..." She too finished off her hot chocolate, and began to gather up all the dishes.
Yukari leaned back in her seat. "Oh I know what it is. You're thinking about him, aren't ya?"
If Hitomi's back wasn't facing her, Yukari would have seen her roll her eyes. "You should know me by now, Yukari." She laid the dishes in the sink and turned around. "I'm always thinking about him."
Childish as it was, Yukari couldn't help but laugh as Hitomi stuck her tongue out. Yukari lazily looked over towards the nearby clock. "Wow, it's nearly 3 am. Maybe we should head to bed?"
Hitomi nodded, "Can't get that managerial instinct out of you eh?"
"Nope!"
The girls laughed as they headed to bed. It was a long time since they last had a sleep over. Even though the girls were college bound and moving on with their lives, some habits were hard to let go of.
Even though it was late, and both girls had to be up in merely a few hours, neither could fall asleep; Yukari, excited to be going to America for the first time in her life, and Hitomi, anxious to see her good friends were moving on with their lives.
"Yuka-chan?" Hitomi asked, barely above a whisper in case that her best friend had actually fallen asleep.
"Hai?" Yukari rolled over to face Hitomi.
Hitomi looked down at her covers. "Are you at least a little bit scared?"
"It's not the first time I've gone to another country with Amano before, 'Tomi..."
"I know but... It's different. It's America! And it's not for a few weeks or even a month. But for four years! At least!" Hitomi exclaimed, her voice only sounding loud since there were no other sounds in the air.
Yukari eyed her friend, who now turned to look at her, but said nothing.
"And it's not like you'll know anybody! I mean I'm sure you'll be able to make friends easily but still... And your schedules will be different since you both have totally different majors. And if you're homesick, you won't be able to call all the time and could only visit in the summer if that! What if after the two of you graduated, he decides he wants to stay in America?"
Yukari couldn't help but laugh. She didn't mean to, but it was a rare sight when she would see her friend rant and ramble on like that.
"Is this about me and my fears Hitomi? Or are you worried you'll be forgotten?" Yukari couldn't help but give her friend a questioning look.
Hitomi's face flushed, and sheepishly looked away. "Both?"
"Oh Hitomi..." Yukari sighed. "First of all, there's no need to worry. I could never forget you. Even if I can't see you all the time, there's still letters and nowadays email! And you know Amano and I will take any chance we get to come back and visit. And the same goes for you 'Tomi... Even though we'll be oceans apart, I'll always be there for ya. Got that?"
The track star nodded slowly. "I didn't mean to doubt you Yuka-chan..."
Yukari smiled, "I know. And yes, I am scared."
"Really?"
"Uh huh. I'm scared out of my wits. Every day I think 'What am I doing? Are you out of your mind?'" Yukari slowly sat up, her gaze leading towards the window. "Even now, I wonder why I'm willing to drop everything and everyone familiar and go to an unknown land."
"So why haven't you called it off?" Hitomi noticed the dreamy look that emerged onto Yukari's face. It was a few minutes before Yukari spoke up.
"Because I love him," she turned to her friend, "Because I know if I give up this chance to be with him, I'll regret it. Call me a bit old fashioned but I couldn't live a very happy life if I couldn't see him every day. Plus there's always that small fear that I may lose him."
Hitomi furrowed her brows. "But what about that old saying about letting them free?"
"Hah! But why give him that chance? He doesn't want to be let free. It'd be one thing if he wanted the space, but he practically begged me to go to college there! Oh no no no. I'd be crazy to do that."
Hitomi's eyes suddenly looked distant, much to Yukari's dismay. "I- I- didn't mean it that way 'Tomi!"
The bobbed haired girl shook her head, "No, no, you have a point..."
Yukari suddenly took hold of her friend's hands. "Look at me 'Tomi... It's okay to be scared. It's okay to worry what everyone else will think. It's okay to have doubts every day! I'm so scared that those American's would be way better qualified to be Amano's girlfriend than me. Or maybe one of his teammates, y'know? And I'm sure he's worried about similar things. But I can't think of a life without him. That may change in a few years, heck maybe me going is a huge mistake.
"But that's okay. Cause if that happens... I can always go home, even if it seems so far away. And I know I still have you 'Tomi. It'll be scary, going to America, but I'll have Amano by my side and you in my heart."
By this point, both girls were tearful. "I don't think I could ever have a better friend than you Yukari." Hitomi hugged her friend tightly. "Thank you. And don't worry, you and Amano-sempai will happy in America."
Yukari sighed contentedly. After hearing Hitomi saying that, it was all the reassurance she'll need. Breaking off their friendly hug, she couldn't help but make a small joke. "Care to prove that with a reading?"
This time both girls laughed as they settled back into bed. Both were able to sleep well that night, as their fears had gone away.
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At the Airport
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"Well, the attendant said that we should be boarding in about ten minutes."
"Ahh... I knew we weren't going to be late," Yukari sighed as she plopped down in a chair.
Amano and Hitomi looked at each other as they rolled their eyes.
"By ten minutes 'Kari! I bet you two stayed up all night gossiping."
Hitomi couldn't help but laugh at Amano's poor attempt of scolding his girlfriend. Yukari mock pouted. It was rather cute. Hitomi leaned against the armrest as Yukari suddenly stood up.
"Be right back peoples, I'm going to head to the loo."
Hitomi laughed out loud, "Geeze, Yukari. You're going to America, not England!"
Amano simply smiled and shook his head. Yukari shrugged and squeezed her boyfriend's arm. "Whatever!" she yelled as she ran off towards the bathroom.
Hitomi decided to settle in her friend's vacant seat and relaxed. After the rush of getting here, she was too tired to move a muscle. 'Ah what a lazy track runner I've become,' she thought to herself.
"Hey Hitomi?"
"Hmm?" She turned up to look at Amano-sempai. After all these years she couldn't help but keep calling him that. He never minded though. She stared at her former crush as he blustered a bit. Apparently wanting to ask her a question that could prove embarrassing. Her instincts kicked in and she could easily assume what he wanted to ask. So she let him flounder a bit as she took in Amano one last time. If it was humanly possible, the man had grown just a few more inches since high school. He still kept his hair long but it wasn't as shaggy as she remembered it to be. He had a terrific personality that made anyone at ease and Hitomi couldn't think of any one better to be suited with her Yukari. After what seemed like a long time for Amano, he finally spoke up.
"I was wondering...I know it's kind of last minute but... If you could..."
"Use my powers?"
Amano simply nodded. Hitomi grinned.
"What for?"
The some day famous track star groaned. 'Sometimes she's as bad as Yukari,' he thought. "As soon as I graduate, I plan to ask for her hand in marriage," he finally proclaimed.
This time Hitomi's eyes sparkled. She jumped up and hugged him tightly. "That's wonderful sempai!"
Despite her positive reaction, Amano couldn't help but ask, "Do you think that's for the best?"
The long ago fortune teller laughed. "Of course! And I don't need my tarot cards or my powers to figure that out. You two are perfect for each other!"
The man before her smiled as it seemed like a weight was lifted off his shoulder. He was about to relax until he noticed Hitomi's sudden change of face.
"But why wait till you graduate? I think maybe the perfect time would be now. Maybe not as romantic but I know it'd still make Yukari happy."
"Oh, well, it's because I don't think we're ready. Being engaged is another step in the relationship. Don't give me that look Hitomi. Separately, we're both ready for it. Heck I'd marry her right here in this airport if I could. But I don't want to tie her down. I want her to have a little freedom in America.
I don't believe in long engagements. And... Well, I want to make sure that I can take care of her when we get married. By the time I graduate, she'll be over the bulk of her college years. We'll have some experiences under our belts and then I think we really could handle being engaged."
Amano laughed nervously. "Did... Did that make any sense?" He was afraid he might have babbled a bit as Hitomi had one of her far off looks on her face.
She then shook her head. "It made perfect sense." While listening to Amano, Hitomi remembered what her best friend said the night before. And she suddenly had an epiphany. Hitomi smiled in a way Amano hadn't seen. It went from her smile all the way to her eyes. "Man, both you and Yukari have grown up more than me!" she chuckled. "You two are going to have a bright and beautiful future." 'And so will I,' she thought.
"Who will have a beautiful future?" interrupted Yukari as she meandered back to her friends. Yukari couldn't help but smile at seeing both her boyfriend and her best friend having the biggest smiles on their faces.
"Why you, silly!"
"Flight JA192 for San Francisco International Airport now boarding."
"sigh Well that's us," Amano stated as he picked up his and Yukari's duffle bags. He gave Hitomi a quick hug and whispered thanks into her ears. She nodded. "You be good now 'Tomi. I expect to hear on the international channel about a rising young Japanese track star."
Hitomi just laughed and saluted. "Hai hai Captain! And take good care of my manager! She better come back in one piece next time the Olympics come round!"
Amano simply chuckled and returned the salute.
Yukari shook her head. 'Children, I swear,' she thought happily. As she and her friend had given their goodbyes before they left the apartment -- to make boarding the airplane easier -- Yukari was slightly surprised at Hitomi suddenly pulling her into a tight embrace.
"'Tomi?"
"You have a real good catch there Yukari. Have a good time, okay?"
Yukari nodded dumbly, as Hitomi's voice sounded a bit somber.
"I've decided," Hitomi remarked as she ended the hug. Yukari stared. "I'm going to go back, Yuka-chan. Once I've proved to myself I'm capable, I'm going back."
"That's fantastic Hitomi!" Yukari's eyes bristled with tears again. She now knew that this may be one of the last times she'll ever see her friend again. "I'll be waiting for ya. No regrets, right?"
"Right."
"'Kari...!"
"Coming!" Yukari caught up with her boyfriend, who was now by the gates, interlocking her arm with his. "Ja ne!" She yelled over her shoulder, looking at Hitomi one last time. She knew she was making the right decision, and she knew Hitomi had finally done the same. Hitomi, for the first time in oh so long, had hope in her heart.
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What should have been the hottest day in Tokyo, so proclaimed the weathercast, was in fact one of the rainiest this season. It didn't help most Tokyo denizens that there was occasional thunder that accompanied the rain. As most people were running from place to place, not wanting to stay in the torrent of rain, there was one young lady walking calmly down the streets of Shibuya.
Hitomi Kanzaki hadn't a care in the world. With already over a year in college, she felt she could do anything she put her mind to. And she was. Ever since she waved Yukari and Amano goodbye at the airport last year, Hitomi had a purpose. She was just lucky that Waseda University had the programs she wanted even if she got in with a track scholarship. Despite the rain, and the thunder, Hitomi was happy. Tonight she would get to talk to her beloved again. Normally that would mean all thoughts were of what to say to him, and wondering how he's been for the past month.
But lately she had been debating whether to tell him. She really didn't want to keep him in the dark, as she knew that if he were told, he'd be the happiest man alive. But like her former sempai, Susumu Amano, she decided to wait. She wanted to be assured that she would be competent in her ventures. And when she did tell him, when she finally said yes to the silent question always in his heart, it would be with a confident spirit.
Hitomi chuckled as she imagined how her Van would react. Especially since whenever he tried to broach the subject, she'd veer him away. She was always afraid she may let it slip out, and give him too much hope early on. Something kept telling her to hold on to that secret, just one month longer.
As she entered her apartment, she couldn't help but flip her radio on. Although she loved the sound of rain, the thunder was something left to be desired. Not that it scared her, but it caused certain memories to surface whenever she was alone in her place.
The station that she usually listened to always played an eclectic mix of soft jazz and light hearted American music. She chuckled as a familiar jazz piece filled the room. 'Maybe I'll leave it on tonight,' Hitomi thought as she began to ready herself for tonight. 'And maybe I'll let him in on my secret,' she smiled at that.
Hitomi's body still felt the lingering sensations of Van as they began their conversation. Although they went through the same opening, Hitomi couldn't help but hear something different from Van's voice.
"Van? Something wrong?" she asked, idly fiddling with the feather in her hand.
No, not really. I just have something very important to tell you.
"Oh? Something good I hope?" Hitomi faintly heard the D.J. introducing the next song, a request apparently. She looked out the window and saw the rain falling softly.
Well...Yes, very good news. In fact, all of Fanelia is rejoicing.
Hitomi scrunched up her face, 'Well if it's that good, why doesn't he sound happy about it?' She then realized the song on the radio was well in its way.
Hitomi, pause I'm getting married.
I'm a big, big girl in a big, big world
It's not a big big thing
Hitomi's face blanched. "You're... getting married?"
If you leave me
Yes. Lady Adele of Mythark.
But I do do feel, that I do do will
Miss you much...
"A-Arranged?"
Miss you much...
No... I've known her for quite some time now. Almost half a year.
The feather floated to Hitomi's lap. 'This can't be happening. He can't be getting married!'
Please say something... Anything.
...And tears are falling from my eyes
It took a crash of thunder to realize Van was waiting for a response. "Y-you've never mentioned anyone though! Six months!"
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end
Honestly I didn't realize where we were heading! Just a friend of the Court... It's not like I was trying to deceive you. She came in to my life and...
I have your arms around me ooh like fire
"And one day you just looked at her and knew?"
But when I open my eyes
Something like that... The way things are going here, politically, Fanelia needs some reassurance.
You're gone...
Hitomi's heart felt empty suddenly... The feather, pelted by her tears, lay limply on her lap.
...I'm sorry Hitomi...
"...What's there to be sorry for? It was bound to happen," Her voice hitched, sounding almost cynical.
If you disapprove 'Tomi-
I'm a big, big girl in a big, big world
"Do you love her?" Hitomi looked up, almost positive that Van was now kneeling in front of her.
It's not a big big thing
"Van?"
I'm not sure. I believe I do.
'Yet you're still going through with it? Oh why? Why?'
If you leave me
"Then that's all I need to know. I believe in your judgment. When?" She sighed, hoping he didn't hear it. 'This is fate,' she thought.
A few weeks time. She's different then the others. She reminds me sometimes of...
But I do do feel that I do do will
"I'm happy for you, hontou ni." Hitomi shook her head, her heart and mind screaming at her to tell him, that it wasn't too late.
...Doesn't sound like it.
Miss you much...
"..." But a feeling had washed over her... If it was meant, this wouldn't be happening.
Hitomi, I haven't replaced you, I still-
"I know Van, I know. I love you too," she replied, almost mechanically. 'I can't deal with this. It's too much.' She couldn't help but use a bit of her powers. She felt along the connection, determined to see what was in his heart. She felt guilty for doing it without his knowing, but she had to know, had to confirm.
... Thank you. pause Maybe in a few months time, it will be, your turn?
"Hah. Sure, you'll be the first to know. Give your soon-to-be wife my congratulations."
She bided him goodnight, surprising him at the sudden closure to the link. But she still felt, only briefly, his lips against hers before the connection faded away. She had looked into his heart, and she still saw herself there. However, so was Adele.
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The radio had already begun another song, but Hitomi did not pay attention any longer. Slipping on her running shoes, and barely remembering to grab her keys, she ran out into the night. She needed to get away. To get away from the feather, now on the floor, from Van's words, from her temporary home.
The rain was still going strong that night, and the broken-hearted woman was soaked, but she didn't care. Unlike earlier that day, she didn't care because nothing mattered anymore. She blindly ran, only paying attention to the few cars and pedestrians that dared venture out into the rain. The thunder didn't bother her anymore, she infact welcomed it. Hoping that maybe it would envelop her in its roars.
The cold finally getting to her, she stopped, as she tried to catch her breath. She finally looked around her surroundings and was surprised to find herself in a park. It was a good fifteen minute walk from her apartment. She looked to her right and noticed the trademark lake of this particular park.
"Gods, Hitomi... You really screwed up didn't you?" she muttered to herself. She would have been lost in her thoughts if not for a strange voice surprising her.
"Discúlpeme, señorita. Pero usted son bloquea mi vista."
"Huh!" Hitomi turned around and saw a strange site indeed. In front of her was a man sitting on the bench with a large umbrella in one hand and a pencil in the other. A rather large sketchbook was on his lap, and a bag sitting comfortably on the ground next to him. His head was bowed, seemingly studying whatever was on his sketchbook. She blinked.
"I'm sorry?" Hitomi knew he wasn't speaking English, but she couldn't quite place the country.
He looked up, tilting the umbrella back to shed a bit of light in front of him. The blue of his eyes caught her breath. She's never seen anyone, with contacts that is, with that shade of blue. It reminded her briefly of the skies of Asgard. Cold. His demeanor, however, seemed relaxed. He even had a nervous smile on his face.
"I'm sorry my dear," he stated in near perfect Japanese, "When I'm caught up in my drawing, I forget where I am and revert back to my native tongue."
Hitomi simply blinked again. For the second time that night her mind was blank. She finally understood his words and bowed suddenly. "I'm sorry! I didn't realize anyone was around and not paying attention."
His loud yet deep laugh caused her to stand up straight. "It's quite all right! I didn't mean to take you out of your reverie. I just didn't expect beautiful creatures like you out in the rain at this hour."
She flushed red, the rain felt refreshingly cool on her hot cheeks. "Well I didn't expect strange artists to be sketching in the rain," she replied quickly.
She saw a slight twinkle in his eye. Then again it could have been the lightning that hit in the distance.
"Ah but what better time? The lake and trees look so wonderful bathing in the tears of the Goddess."
"A poet too?" She didn't know why she was talking to this stranger so casually. She should have been concerned that she was drenched, that her clothes were clinging to her. Or the fact that her heart was broken not too long ago. But the stranger was quite a distraction from that, and she welcomed it. She had the rest of her life to lament over her mistakes.
He chuckled softly. He then suddenly put his sketchbook down and rummaged through his bag. "How rude of me!" he exclaimed suddenly. "Here I am dry as a bone while you're soaked!" He pulled out a towel.
Hitomi shook her head, "Oh no! It's okay. Rather it's my fault I'm in this rain."
"I insist." He offered her the towel. Realizing it wasn't good to refuse such a kind gesture, she accepted. "I'm sorry if it's a bit damp, but I used it earlier this evening to dry off the bench a bit." He then patted the bench area next to him, also dry because of his umbrella.
"No it's okay, thank you," she replied as she sat down. She was grateful for the temporary shelter from the rain. After she dried herself to the best of her ability, she handed him back the towel. "I appreciate it."
He smiled as he took back the towel. "Any time my lady."
She chuckled, "My lady? Where are you from exactly?"
He shook his head, "Once again I've been rude." He took her hand suddenly and kissed it, causing Hitomi to blush even more. Not too often a stranger would kiss her hand. Unless she was on Asturian lands. "My name is Mikael de Flores. I'm from Ispano."
'Did I hear right?' "From where!"
"España. Sorry, Spain."
Hitomi laughed nervously. 'Duh Hitomi, you need to get your ears checked.'
"And you?"
She slowly slipped her hand away from his, now a bit nervous of this man. Her instincts were going haywire. Half of them told her to leave now, and the other half told her not to worry. She wasn't sure what to trust, as she believed her instincts had been wrong about Van. So she took a leap of faith.
"My name is Kanzaki Hitomi. From Kamakura originally, but now your typical Tokyo citizen." She didn't know what overcame her to say that.
"A pleasure to meet you Miss Hitomi. Do you tend to take a run on rainy nights? Or was I just lucky to have you grace my presence this eve?"
Hitomi chuckled softly. 'This guy talks kind of funny. Then again he is a foreigner.' She studied his face, trying to figure out his intentions. All she could find was that he was simply a rather gentlemanly foreigner. 'I wonder how long he'll be staying in Japan...' She turned to look at the lake in front of her. He was right, the ripples of the rain and the light of the moon presented to her a wonderful view of the lake. She smiled solemnly, suddenly remembering why she was out here in the first place.
"Not really... I, just heard some news from a friend that didn't go well with me..."
"So you thought a walk in the rain would make you feel better?"
"Something like that, yeah."
Mikael resumed his sketching for a moment, "Makes sense."
She looked at him oddly. "It does? If Yukari was to find out she'd consider me crazy!"
He laughed again and began to put his things away. Hitomi couldn't help but stare at his eyes. They looked so familiar that it bothered her that she couldn't think of where. She wondered if all men from Spain had those kind of eyes.
"A walk in the rain is like taking a cleansing shower. You wash away all the grime you've accumulated during the day and begin anew. Fresh. The rain is like a cleansing of the mind and soul."
If Hitomi had been in a right state of mind, she would have thought it odd to have such a worldly man spouting reassuring words to her plight. But she wasn't, and she let his words sink in. She simply nodded in agreement.
"Now as I would love to chat more with you Miss Hitomi, I'm afraid you'll catch a cold if you don't change into some warmer clothes." Mikael stood up, bag in hand. The umbrella still covered them both.
The rain soaked woman finally realized he was right. Her whole body was shivering. She got up from the bench slowly, realizing how stiff her bones had become because of the cold air.
"Would you like a lift home?"
Hitomi shook her head. "No no, I'm only a few minutes away. Thank you though." She made a shallow bow and was about to leave when he thrusted the umbrella into her hand.
"Here, I don't want you to get any more soaked than you already are."
"I couldn't possibly... You'll get wet too!"
"I came by car. I'll be fine. Besides, a little rain doesn't hurt anyone, right?" He gave her a dazzling smile. One that would have made most girls swoon. Instead it made Hitomi a bit uncomfortable, but she took the umbrella anyway.
"I don't know how to return this to you." As she looked at him, she realized he had turned and begun walking away.
Waving a hand back to her, he simply stated, "I'm sure we'll meet again. Take care Hitomi!"
Hitomi waved back even though she knew he wouldn't see it. At the time, she wasn't that sure she would see him again. She began walking in the opposite direction. In fact, she wasn't sure of anything anymore. All she was sure of, was that Fate had dealt her some disparaging cards.
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Author's Notes: I hope everyone survived till the end and is not bored out of their wits. Or ready to kill Van. Please don't lose faith on him! Next chapter is devoted to him. D Well maybe him and Adele... dodges fruits I think reading too many CB fics was the cause of having me add that song to this. The song was "Big Big Girl" by Emilia. Well, ever since I heard that song, I thought it was perfect for Hitomi. Though tech in the series she left him.;; Sorry for all the errors that are in here... Especially my line of Spanish. It's sad, I'm Spanish and I can barely speak it. Also hope you realized that this was all while Hitomi was dreaming. Flashback dream. . . Now on to other business...
Thanks for the tremendous reviews everyone! I really appreciate it. As for Van & Hitomi, don't give up on them yet! But it will be a long time before they see each other again in the physical sense. I found out the other day that there is an esca fanfic with an extremely similar title. Usually I try to go for an original or innovative title but I guess I messed up this time. Oops! ;; Normally I'd change it but the title fits just too well to the main plot of this epic.
I seriously realize that I could condense these past three chapters and the next oh, four or five chapters into a good long two chapter spiel. But that just makes it all practically summaries and I didn't want that. I guess I'm a sucker for slow moving fics and slice of life scenes. But don't worry people! Things WILL pick up. There will be action in this, lots of it. And more drama and romance and angst than you can shake a stick at! So please review and hopefully the next chapter won't take a month to write. bows Oh and as always, thank you to my beta reader/editor Eni Li'Nave!
