The sun glowed brightly, gliding up to the highest part of the sky signifying the early part of the afternoon. Stan, Ford, Mabel, Grenda, and Candy squeezed in the old beat up Buick to take their mini road trip to Pacifica's prestigious country club. Pacifica drove Dipper in her lavender convertible, upbeat pop music drowning out any possible conversation they could be having. The summer breeze was reckless with the top down, Dipper unable to tear his eyes away from Pacifica's bright blonde locks flipping with the motion of the wind. The trip seemed to last forever for Grenda, Candy, and Mabel, who bounced up and down in their seats with anticipation. Ford sat in the front seat, continually whispering something to himself about "high levels of chlorine" while he fixated on a small device in his hand. Finally, after what felt like hours, they pulled into a huge circle drive, a gigantic mansion awaiting them just beyond the golden gates blocking the path.
From what Mabel could see, it seemed that Pacifica pulled out a golden card and inserted it into a machine which eventually opened the gates. She motioned for them to follow her inside.
The clubhouse was unlike anything the Pines family and friends had ever witnessed. Fountains adorned the outside, the grass was a shade of green that Mabel had only ever seen in HD movies, the cars pulling to the front were as luxurious as they were ostentatious. It seemed like something out of a dream.
"Well, ain't this place ritzy." Stan grumbled. He pulled up behind Pacifica, who handed her keys to a young man in a tux before stepping out of her convertible.
"Mr. Pines!" She called, "Just hand your keys to Dexter. He's the valet, he'll take our cars to the lot next door."
"Just leave it with this kids? You gotta be nuts!" Stan yelled out the window.
"You know, if they accidentally wreck it, I bet they'd have to pay for a brand new car..." Mabel added thoughtfully.
Stan was out of the car before the kids could even blink, "Alright, let's hustle! Ford, grab the cooler."
The gang paused to admire the extravagant building. At the front of the clubhouse, a red brick sign with gold calligraphy read "Leopard Creek, a place to just be rich".
"Ok, like, we have to enter the clubhouse by locker room, so boys you go to the one to the left and we'll go right. Meet you all on the other side. And...try not to get lost." Pacifica smirked, leading the three girls into the mansion, her gym bag tossed casually over her shoulder.
When they entered, the locker room was even grander on the inside. Grenda, Candy, and Mabel shrieked together before frantically exploring the area.
"You guys!" Grenda called, "There is a JUICE BAR next to the TOILETS! I didn't even know I needed that until now!"
"Wait, over here! I found free cheese and crackers!" Candy added from a different section.
"OH MY GOD!" Mabel screamed.
"Mabel?! Are you ok?"
The two girls turned the corner toward the showers, running to Pacifica's side. The friends gasped at the sight within: there was Mabel, clad in her flamingo covered, pink and white striped, one piece swim suit, standing in a shower of blue and green glitter.
"GLITTER SHOWER!" They screamed in unison, jumping in the stream with Mabel, ensuring every part of their body was coated in glitter.
Pacifica chuckled to herself, "It dissolves in water so don't get too used to it."
"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SPARKLY IN MY LIFE AND I LOVE IT." Mabel cried out making Pacifica laugh even more.
"Ok, you guys enjoy, I'm gonna go make sure our cabana is set up." The blonde said, making her way toward the pool area.
"Cabana, eh? Wait up, Paz!" Mabel and the girls trotted after her, leaving a trail of glitter behind them.
As they stepped out into the outside, they were welcomed by a tropical paradise— water slides reaching to the sky, palm trees decorating the grounds, soft lounge chairs that were fancier than their beds, and a pool that seemed to stretch to infinity. The girls were awestruck by the sight.
They quickly found Stan, Ford, and Dipper, who were already scouting for loungers to sit in.
"Hey sweetie, how much does an old man have to pay to get this seat?" Stan leaned an arm on the back of a chair, the woman sitting in it obviously disgusted as she stormed to the opposite side of the pool.
"Well, would you look at that, we have enough chairs now!" Ford punched his brother in the arm, both impressed and repulsed by his twin's antics.
"You guys know I have my own private cabana over there, right?" Pacifica pointed to a set of stairs winding up to small second floor terrace. A purple sign spelling out "Northwest" hung from the railing.
"Heh, I think I'm gonna make myself comfortable right here, thanks." Stan slapped his hairy belly while making eye contact with a woman a few chairs over. He winked and sprawled out on the lounger, stretching as seductively as he could. The woman, appalled, grunted and buried her face in her oversized hat.
"I'm definitely ready to check it out..." Dipper half said, his eyes fixated on Pacifica. He watched as her chest rose and fell with her breath, her laced purple top not leaving much to the imagination. But how his imagination could still wander.
"Yeah, we see you checking something out, all right.." Mabel teased, pushing her brother forward, knocking him out of his trance long enough to scowl at his sibling.
Pacifica didn't notice, simply leading the rest of the group to the cabana stairs.
"Grunkle Ford," Dipper hesitated, watching as Ford starting heading in the opposite direction, "are you going to join us?"
"Yeah, kiddo, I just have some work to do over here. And between just you and me," he snaked an arm around Dipper's shoulders, pulling him closer to the machine in his hand, "I'm getting some weird levels on this DPD. If you have a minute, want to help me experiment on the water real fast?"
Dipper nodded affirmatively, following his Grunkle to the pool.
The rest of the group set up their stuff in Pacifica's cabana. The upper level was decked out with plush, oversized daybeds, an optional curtain that could cover the entirety of the terrace, and a private bar.
"Order whatever you guys want, just put it on my tab." Pacifica directed, rolling out her towel and prepping herself to lay out.
The girls began aggressively ordering frozen drink after frozen drink until Grenda noticed some boogie boards down by the pool. They ran to snag them, deciding to try and see if they could go any faster down the slide with the wet boards as lubricants. Pacifica politely declined their invitation to join them, preferring to set up camp on one of the beds.
Dipper eventually finished helping Ford and decided to check on Pacifica. For research purposes.
"So, I'm guessing you're not getting in the water?" Dipper questioned, taking a seat next to her.
"I don't want to get my hair wet." She stated, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.
"And why is that? Afraid the chlorine will turn your hair green?"
"Ugh, as if! Our club pool is filled with salt water, which is a thousand times better for your skin and everything. I just can't stand the way it makes my hair feel. Besides," she flipped her ponytail behind her, "my hair is way too cute to mess up today."
"You know.." Dipper snorted, "you can get in the pool without wetting your hair. Unless you sink like an anchor in water, in which case I'm sure the staff will happily keep you afloat with some water wings."
Pacifica nudged her sunglasses down her nose, staring daggers at the teen next to her.
"Alright smart ass," she pushed her glasses back up, hopping off of the daybed, "I'll swim with you for twenty minutes. No more, no less."
"Deal—"
"And," she interrupted, "you have to promise to protect my hair at all costs, got it?"
Dipper snickered under his breath, "Alright, princess. Anything just to spend twenty minutes in your presence."
The two made their way down the stairs to the pool, where Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were making a bit of a scene with their obnoxious giggles and unusual use of pool toys to create and maneuver massive waves. In the center of the lounge chairs, Stan slept, snoring loudly and scratching himself every few minutes to the utter disgust of those around him. Ford was huddled up by one of the surrounding brick walls, scanning it with a beeping mechanism. Dipper put a palm to his head, worried that they may have pushed Pacifica too far. To his surprise, the blonde was grinning ear to ear, apparently enjoying the commotion her guests were causing.
"We really brought the circus today, didn't we?" Dipper smiled, immersing his bottom half into the cool water.
"I have never been so thoroughly entertained at the clubhouse, I'll say that much." Paz noted, retying her hair into a full bun on the top of her head.
"So, do you know all of the people here?" Dipper inquired, genuinely curious as to what the community was like in this place.
"I know of them all, yes," she sighed, taking a seat on the stairs, submerged in the water enough to cover most of her body but not enough to run the risk of wetting a stray hair, "I wouldn't exactly call them my friends, though."
Dipper swam to her side, sitting a step lower than her and hanging on to the railing.
"I guess it's nice to actually have my friends here for once, even if they are a little more unconventional than the regulars."
Without thinking, he reached out and placed a hand on her thigh, giving her a comforting squeeze. She jumped slightly from the contact, but then quickly relaxed.
"Sorry," he removed his hand, placing it behind his head, "I forget you don't like to be touched."
"No, no it's fine. You don't, like, I mean, you can, um... you can touch me." She fumbled embarrassingly over her words, immediately regretting the execution of her sentiment.
"Heh, I won't take advantage of that, I promise." He flicked the water, a small splash hitting her shoulder.
"Dipper!" They suddenly heard Ford's voice seemingly coming from behind one of the slides.
Dipper stood up immediately, "Pacifica, I have to help Ford with something. Do you want to come with?"
She thought it over for a moment before responding, "I'm in. Things can't get much kookier than they already are today, right?"
Dipper couldn't help but feel like her words were some kind of omen.
They found Ford huddled far behind the biggest slide in the complex, his face to the floor, tapping on what looked like a metal door.
"Grunkle Ford, what did you find?" Dipper squatted beside him, hoping to get a better glance at the door in question.
"Listen kids, I have come up with a theory. I believe the salt water in this pool is not what you think. I spotted something by the skimmer and have hypothesized that an entrance should be right here. If I could just get a grip on this metal plate...we...could...find it!" He grunted, struggling to lift the piece off the floor.
"Move." Pacifica commanded, sliding her nails under the plate, getting enough of a hold on it to twist it loose. She turned it to the left until the metal released from the ground, revealing a tunnel down below.
"By god, my girl! You're a genius!" Ford exclaimed.
"I brought her along for a reason." Dipper bragged.
"But do we think it's safe to go? Perhaps I need to send a bot down there to ensure we'll land safely..."
"Like, are you guys coming or not?" The impatient blonde asked, winking before hopping directly into the chute.
Dipper stared at his Grunkle, completely flabbergasted.
"Well, guess I'm going in after her!" The teen proclaimed, jumping down the hole.
"Wait Dipper!" Ford hunched over, looking over his shoulder and then back at the entrance, ensuring no one could see him "Alright, here goes nothing!"
He spiraled down a long chute, spinning and tossing and turning until he felt his stomach collapse to his knees. Finally, he saw light at the end of the drop and braced himself for landing.
The tunnel spit him out on a hard, white surface, knocking him right into Dipper.
"Oof, sorry Dip!" He apologized, scurrying to get off his nephew as quickly as he could.
"It's no prob...but do you have any idea where we are?" He looked around the room, realizing that they were suspended above a huge pool of water.
"Ew, it smells like chlorine down here." Pacifica gagged, plugging her nose.
"Chlorine..." Ford started, "that's it! This is what my DPD was sensing!" He leaned over the edge of the platform, watching the unforgiving waves inches below him.
"In laymen's terms?" Pacifica insisted.
"I had read about a breed of fish that gain their nutrition from chlorine. They eat up the chemical compounds of it, dismantling the element until nothing is left. That is, until..." he paused.
"Until what?" Dipper pressed.
"You're not gonna like this, kid," he glanced at Paz, "but once the fish has to dispose of the bile that compiles in its body, it converts the waste to salts and it is expelled through urination, releasing sodium chloride into the water."
"Oh. My god. Are you telling me..."
"That there's a giant fish in here peeing out salt for the salt water pool?" Dipper frantically interrupted. "That's gotta be some sort of health code violation."
Pacifica's face contorted as if she just ate something sour, "I am never swimming in this pool again. Thank god I never got my hair wet."
"So, if this fish is supposedly in here, where's it at?" Dipper spoke, suddenly feeling the platform vibrate fiercely.
Something slammed directly into the pole holding their island up, the turbulence knocking the group to their knees.
"There he is." Ford grunted, trying to steady himself.
"What do we need to do?" Dipper said, helping Pacifica to her feet.
"There's a lake directly behind this joint that is the only natural salt water lake in the state. This fish is being held captive here, forced to constantly eat and micturate in a never ending cycle until it dies from exhaustion. In the wild, they are regulated by nature and can survive for hundreds of years. But here, he probably won't live longer than one or two years," he frowned, "I guess using one of these fellas is a lot cheaper than just buying salt water."
"Disgusting." The blonde grimaced.
"Precisely. So we need to find a way to get this guy out of here. I know there's a current somewhere in here that leads back into the pool. If we could somehow get him there, I could relocate him out to the lake through the club house's plumbing system."
"So you're somehow going to flush this massive fish down the toilets? Explain the logistics of that?" Dipper asked skeptically.
"Heh, this isn't some giant fish, boy. He's only around 4 pounds, but he packs a punch when under traumatic stress."
Dipper shuddered at the thought, scanning the water for a different current pattern.
"There! Grunkle Ford," Dipper pointed toward a group of bubbles over by a part of the wall that was slightly off colored, a grate visible just under the water line, "that's gotta be where our current out is!"
"Good eye! I just need a few minutes to figure out how to unhinge that grate and we'll be golden. Do you think one of you two could distract the fish?"
"Why do you need it distracted?" Pacifica asked, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.
"Because," Ford paused, "when kept in captivity, these fish can be incredibly deadly."
"And how do you suppose we distract some violent murdering fish for a few minutes?" Dipper panicked.
"That I don't know, yet."
Pacifica looked up toward her forehead as if she could see her own hair. Without a thought, she pulled her bun down, letting her locks tumble down her back.
"We can use my hair. If this is a fish, then it probably eats, like, worms and stuff, right? My hair is long enough to dangle in the water and might look like a giant worm at certain angles."
"Pacifica, you've got to be kidding. What if you get pulled in?" Dipper protested.
"It's the only way! It's either do this, or potentially die down here and I am not going down without a fight."
Dipper knew arguing with Pacifica was a lost cause. He exhaled, shrugging his shoulders.
"Mr. Pines, if my hair gets wet, I swear I'll sue you." She twisted her blonde strands into a mock whip, dangling it hesitantly over the edge of the platform. She watched as a small white fish fluttered up by her hair. She swallowed hard, nervous at what could go wrong.
"I'll be as fast as I can! Dipper, make sure to keep a good grasp on your girlfriend to ensure she doesn't fall in!" Ford called as he dove head first into the water.
Dipper blushed, hooking his arms around her waist to keep her steady. She felt his bare chest on her back and it sent shivers down her spine. She cursed her skin for its goosebumps, giving away how much his touch effected her.
"Don't let me go."
"I won't."
The fish jumped out of the water as Dipper yanked Pacifica further from the edge. The fish missed her hair and smashed into the side of the island, jostling the teens nearly to the floor. Paz steadied herself on Dipper then hung her mane over the ledge again. The fish launched for her hair once again, this time almost clipping her.
"Grunkle Ford, this fish is getting aggressive...did you find the grate?" Dipper begged, not hearing a response.
"Mr. Pines?" Pacifica's voice wavered with fear.
"Ford?!"
Suddenly, the wall in front of them shifted up, Ford's face erupting from the water.
"Kids! Hurry, get in the water, the current is releasing! We gotta ride this gust up! It's now or never!"
"But...my hair..." Pacifica clenched her locks in her fist.
"Paz, you're not serious, right?" Dipper quizzed as the ground trembled beneath their feet.
Much to her dismay, Pacifica had to face the fact that not even she could protect her hair from the rush of water that would lead her to freedom.
"Let's go." She took Dipper's hand as he nodded, jumping off the ledge together as the water consumed them completely.
The current pushed them up and pulled them down, smashing them into the sides of the tunnel. Pacifica and Dipper clawed at the water for oxygen, only getting brief moments where they could take a breath. The current spiraled around them until it released them once and for all.
Up by the pool, the brick wall Ford had been inspecting earlier burst open, Ford flying out into the pool. The two teens were spit out shortly after him, landing on the hard cement, Pacifica fully on top of Dipper.
When the water stopped cascading down on them, the two stared intensely at the other, unsure if they actually survived for a second.
"Paz..." Dipper breathed out heavily.
Her blue eyes were wide, her mouth agape, her chest rising and falling with more vigor than it had earlier.
And then she laughed a loud, hearty laugh, burying her face into his chest.
"Dip-Dipper, oh my gosh, I can't breathe!" She guffawed.
Her hysterical laughter was contagious and Dipper began roaring himself, teetering on his sides as he hugged his friend.
"Well, Pacifica, isn't this quite the predicament you're in?" A shrill voice called out.
Pacifica ceased her chuckles immediately, rolling off of Dipper to see her friend, Tiffany, standing in front of her.
"Tiff, I didn't see you in here!" Pacifica stood up quickly, trying to shake off the tangled hair that was stuck to her face.
"Funny, cause everybody can see you. In fact, your entire shameful affair has been snapchatted by pretty much everyone in the club," She boasted, "and I got a front and center picture of Pacifica Northwest, daughter of the famed Northwests, cuddling up with some tacky, white trash, nobody. What an embarrassment!"
Dipper felt himself shrink under the girl's stare.
"Does Blake know who you've been hanging out with? Because I can't imagine he'll want anything to do with you when he sees you on top of some loser. Say goodbye to your social life!" Tiffany asserted, Dipper coming to his feet and walking away, uninterested in hearing whatever excuse Pacifica would come up with. Mabel and her friends huddled and around him as if to protect him. But Pacifica wasn't in the mood for excuses. Not today.
"You know what, Tiffany?" Pacifica charged up to the raven haired girl, "These people are my friends. They're fun and caring and can actually hold a conversation with me without stopping to check their reflection in my sunglasses. Yeah, I see you do it!"
Tiffany started backing up slowly.
"They are my friends, which up until this point, I considered you one of those, too, at least in the I-feel-sorry-for-you-because-you-smell-like-dairy-so-no-one-else-can-stand-to-be-around-you way," she poked an accusatory finger at her chest, "You think I'm scared of you? You think I'm scared of Blake? You think I'm scared of anyone in this stuffy place?! I am Pacifica Northwest, and you and the rest of your petty trolls can't hurt me!"
Tiffany backed up so far that she tripped and fell directly in the water, a dramatic splash hitting Pacifica's feet. She turned to look at Dipper, Stan, Mabel, Grenda, and Candy, who were all staring slack-jawed at the power Pacifica possessed. She flicked her hair out of her face and stomped toward the cabana. The group was quick to grab their things and hurriedly leave the premises.
When they arrived at the valet, their cars were already waiting for them, as well as a soaked Ford giving a thumbs up, completely oblivious to the drama that just occurred.
"Damn, kid, I gotta hand it to ya," Stan coughed, "I'm even terrified of you!"
In one swift motion, Pacifica pulled her sunglasses out of her bag and onto her face.
"Good," she deadpanned.
The ride back was quiet in the convertible, unlike the Buick, where the girls were the first to see just how fast social media spreads.
It was Candy who got on her phone first, gasping at the post that was being shared by all of her friends. A Facebook page by the name of "Gravity Falls' Finest" had already posted the picture Tiffany threatened of Pacifica and Dipper, foreheads pressed together, wrapped in each other's arms. The image of the two teens so intimately entangled in one another made Mabel squirm. She knew how Pacifica felt about PDA. This picture could break her.
As soon as they pulled up to the shack, Mabel sprinted from the car, eager to break the news to Pacifica before she could get blindsided.
"Guys, I don't mean to alarm you, but that Tiffany girl wasn't kidding about getting a picture." She warned, hoping they wouldn't take it too hard.
"I need to go dry off. Dipper, can you get me a towel?" Paz asked innocently, refusing to comment on Mabel's discovery.
"Ya need a towel, kid? I stole about thirty from that joint!" Stan proudly proclaimed, tossing one out of his bag.
"Thanks, Mr. Pines," she grinned as she caught it, starting to pat down her soaked clothes.
"Please, call me Stan."
"Thanks, Stan." She smiled.
"Come inside, I can find a sweatshirt or something for you to wear." Dipper offered, leading her into the Shack.
"I think Mabel has a blow dryer around here somewhere..." he mumbled, stepping into the bathroom and searching through the cabinets under the sink.
"We should just look at this article and get it over with, don't you think?" She let her hair down from the messy bun on her head, partially dry from the drive over.
Dipper gulped hard, not pausing his search, "If that's what you want to do."
Pacifica pulled out her phone and opened Facebook, holding it out so Dipper could see, as well.
There, on "Gravity Falls' Finest" was their intimate moment, titled, "The Princess and the Popper? How town royalty went from a stud to a dud". The article detailed the antics of her "buffoon friends" and her abominate behavior at the club. It claimed a statement was already released from Blake's butler, citing that he and Pacifica were "over months ago" and he had "zero attachment to the strange girl".
Dipper felt his eyes burn, anger bubbling up within him. He couldn't understand how someone could be so backstabbing on some sleazy Facebook page! But before he could explode, he heard Pacifica quietly chuckling to herself.
"Paz? Uh, what's so funny?"
"Dipper," she started between giggles, "I don't think I've ever looked that happy in a picture in my life. I mean, look at me! I'm positively tickled!"
Dipper looked at the photo again, this time noticing the wrinkle in her nose, the smile in her eyes, her perfect teeth revealed under a grin so wide that her pink cheeks dimpled. She was stunning. She was ethereal. She was herself.
And they both looked genuinely happy around the other.
"Guess this means they didn't break you, after all." Dipper said more as an afterthought, not meaning for the words to physically come of his mouth.
"I'm not so easily shattered."
"That's because you're a diamond, Paz, remember?" Dipper turned to her, repeating words she had once written about herself in their letters. Her letters often told stories of her parents' constant belittling of her if she did not perform to their standards. For a time, she felt awful, her self esteem destroyed. But she had to be a diamond, tough and unbreakable, to deal with the stress of her family. It had apparently translated into her social life, as well.
She stared at Dipper teary-eyed, shocked that he would remember her words. But she had no words this time— there was nothing she could say that would perfectly capture the gratitude she felt for him.
And so she didn't speak. She reached a hand behind his head, pulling his face down to hers. Instinctively, he leaned into her, holding their bodies closer and closer until their lips finally met. They melded into one another, lips parting and hands roaming. With their eyes closed, they were no longer standing in the bathroom of the Mystery Shack—they were in space, floating among the stars.
But this kiss had to end eventually, throwing Dipper from outer space back down to Earth. He opened his eyes to her blue orbs looking back at him. They held no regret, no remorse— only the same happiness that was caught on camera earlier.
"I...should go." She finally breathed out, removing her hands from around his neck.
"O-ok." Dipper sunk against the cabinet, struggling to keep himself on his feet.
"I'll write you. Or, text you, or whatever." She tucked a stray hair behind her head, turning away from him as quickly as she caved into him, running for her exit.
And then she was gone. Dipper released the tension in his jelly-filled legs and collapsed to the floor, trying to keep his head still. Once the room stopped spinning, he took out his phone and looked at the website again. No one could ever know that he saved the picture, secretly making it the background of his phone.
Pacifica barely said goodbye to the girls as she ran out of the house and into her car. She was no doubt giddy and couldn't risk them seeing her like this. She was walking on air and absolutely nothing could ruin her mood.
Until she saw she had a single text message waiting for her on her phone.
From her parents.
"You are in BIG trouble."
Shit.
