IV - Rude Awakening
Present
There were times in his life when Kakashi felt so naive, so silly. Just because they'd been thrust into some alternative universe, it didn't mean life stopped having its ups and downs. And up and down it rolled, inescapable and with the force of a gigantic wave.
Kakashi found himself constantly thrown into the fray, into situations he much rather not be a part of.
Missions came and went, some familiar, some not so much, and he was yet again plagued with constant paranoia that this much preferred world would go up in flames and leave him with its charred remains.
He had survived the third shinobi war once. Had survived the fourth. But he feared his curse of outliving everyone despite all odds would finally run dry when he least wanted it to.
While in this world danger still lurked at every corner and brushes with death were dealt frequently and unrelentingly, it was still a world much brighter, much safer than the one they'd escaped.
Here, Kakashi could breathe. Here, he could take a second to relax, to think, to feel.
Kakashi gnawed on his lower lip, worried at the sudden turn of events. He hadn't meant to, but he had stumbled on a private meeting between Sakumo and the Third Hokage. A tense, private meeting.
Sakumo had an upset frown tugging his brows while the Hokage calmly sipped from his tea cup. "You understand that this is vital to our survival, Sakumo-kun."
"But they're still-they're still kids," Sakumo said with a slight waver in his voice and Kakashi immediately concealed himself and made sure his already masked presence was undetectable.
"You were at the front lines at age fourteen, Sakumo," the Hokage reminded him, voice chiding. "We can no longer afford to babysit them. I've taken your wishes into consideration; I've kept them away from the brunt of it for as long as possible. I believed you when you said they weren't ready … but they are now."
Sakumo opened his mouth to protest but Sarutobi cut him off. "Sakura Haruno has far surpassed both of our expectations ... you cannot shield her forever Sakumo. She's strong. And so are Naruto and Sasuke. We have to send them out."
Kakashi held his breath. It wasn't that he didn't trust Sakura to take care of herself because he did. It was just that fate hated him. He couldn't bare the thought of living in this world without Sakura there to keep him sane.
"Very well," Sakumo said, and then exhaled softly, the sound rather miserable. "Very well, Hokage-sama. What's the mission?"
"I want you to take Sakura and Kakashi with you. I want you to infiltrate Iwa's base in Kusakagure. I'm afraid we've been dealt too much loss, and we need to even the grounds. I'll be sending Minato, Naruto and Sasuke to destroy the Kannabi Bridge. I need you to destroy all intel on us, and to burn the post down. Get anything you deem of value, and come back in one piece."
Kakashi felt his chest grow cold, his whole body tensing. The Kannabi bridge… that damned intel gathering mission... The two missions that killed Obito and drove his dad down the path of suicide combined.
He felt his lungs beginning to constrict, so tight, his breath growing shallower. They burned like they were made of coal, and his heart banged harshly against his ribcage. No, this was not happening. It couldn't be. This was—
"—Kakashi?" His father's worried voice called for him, likely having heard the accelerating of his breath.
Kakashi vanished in a swirl of leaves, a soft word echoing in the space he previously occupied. "Fuck."
...
Sakura was in the middle of preparing dinner when Kakashi popped into her living room, face so white with fear she dropped the tomatoes in her hands and was at his side by an instant, cooking soup forgotten.
"Kakashi?" she gasped, falling to her knees beside him and holding his face between her hands, checking for any injuries, "What happened? You look like you've seen a ghost! Did something happen to—"
Sakura's words died in her throat when Kakashi's arms wrapped around her, and he draped all of his weight on her. His breathing was ragged and he trembled from head to toe, the evidence of another anxiety attack.
The rosette swallowed uneasily at the display and reached to soothe him with her chakra, wrapping her arms around him and cradling him to her chest like one might a scared child. "Hey, shh, it's going to be okay, alright? I'm here."
Kakashi's breath was still shallow, but the trembling ceased and he was suddenly clutching onto her, prying her away to look at her face. "M-my father," he swallowed thickly when his voice trembled and broke and tried again. "My dad, Sakura. The mission that … that …" he couldn't say it. "And the Kannabi bridge, when Obito … it's coming. Oh kami, what can I do? We're going with my dad on the mission that killed him."
Sakura reached to gently pry Kakashi's hands off her shoulders, holding them tightly between her own. "I need you to breathe," she told him with a familiar calming yet stern tone, and he found himself drawing stability from the firm grasp of her hands around his. "Can you breathe for me?"
As if to let her know that he was listening, he gulped down a heavy breath, and Sakura smiled kindly, reaching to lower his mask and hold his face between tender hands. "Your dad is going to be okay."
There was no way he could deny her words when she spoke with such conviction, with such surety. "You know why? Because we're here. And damned if we let the cycle repeat."
Her calm resolve was slowly breaking the tension in his body, and he found he could breathe easier. He nodded.
Sakura smiled, a comforting tilt of her lips. "That's right. We can do this. However it goes, we'll handle it as it comes."
Kakashi nodded again in acceptance, and Sakura drew him in for soft kiss. She leaned back to smile at him and pulled them to their feet. "I was making dinner. We should eat, and then we can discuss some plans to ease that busy mind of yours."
When she turned to leave, she was surprised to feel Kakashi's fingers wrap around her wrist. She paused, turning to look at him questioningly.
"Thank you," he said softly, all of a sudden feeling scarily calm, his worries momentarily silenced. "Really, Sakura."
Her replying smile was brilliantly beautiful.
...
She was nestled under his arm, ear pressed to his chest. Her hair tickled his jaw, but it was only a slight inconvenience, not enough to prompt him to shuffle their rather comfortable position.
Sakura breathed evenly but she was not asleep. He could sense her eyelashes fluttering lightly over his skin in a barely-there, ticklish sensation. It was like she was purposely matching her breathing with his, and it put him in an almost meditative state.
As it was, Kakashi was still stuck in that strange there-but-not-there place. His body felt light, like he weighed nothing. But his mind processed information vividly and perfectly, able to catalogue every detail while remaining simultaneously aware of both Sakura and his surroundings. He heard every rustle, every breeze that blew by just outside the window.
He could smell the takoyaki from the shop below and all kinds of exotic scents mixing together, although the most prominent was the vanilla-scented body wash that clung to Sakura's body. If he focused just enough, he'd be able to make out the sound of conversation from the apartment across of Sakura's, but he chose to focus on the sound of her heartbeats instead.
They'd talked. They'd talked at length. Here in this very bed, they'd sat with one intention, and that was the most pressing matter of all.
Kakashi's anxiety refused to resurface for which he was thankful. His mind had fallen into a familiar mode, the one he'd adapted back in his ANBU days for the numerous assassination and espionage missions.
His emotions shut down, and his brain ran at a crisp and fast pace, filtering and sifting through information with ease, never once faltering. It was his perfect soldier mode.
But that was at first. Because while they'd sat in this very bed for the very specific reason of discussing their plans for survival of the upcoming mission, it was almost impossible not to … well, act on more deeply rooted longings.
While their mission was like a raging storm just at the horizon, it wasn't here yet. Here was the monotone whir of the fan spinning overhead, generating a light breeze, and the sound of Sakura's broken sink dripping quietly in the kitchen tap … tap … tap.
Above all, here was the warmth of the bed sheets that smelled like Sakura. And while his brain realised the upcoming danger, was vividly aware of all the possibilities, his body refused to leave the calm state influenced by the aura that surrounded his partner.
And so they'd ended up tangled amidst the sheets, but there was nothing frantic or desperate about it, not like that last time in the shower when he was out of his mind with the need for her.
He'd taken his time to relearn her body again as she did the same for him and then … they'd ended up in this embrace, in that there-but-not-quite state.
There was not much they could do in terms of planning for his dad's mission. It was not something they'd done in the past, but Kakashi could recall bits and pieces of information that had floated to his ears back in his original life when his dad was disgraced.
He had chosen his comrades over intel. According to the shinobi handbook of rules, that was a crime.
Admittedly, it did cost the village a lot. But Kakashi was not going to allow history to repeat itself. This time they would be prepared. This time, he would save his dad before it was too late.
...
Kakashi did not go back home that night. He knew it was selfish of him. Sakumo was probably worrying, but he couldn't find the willpower to detangle himself from Sakura's embrace.
And the next day, he didn't see his dad until their meeting time at the training grounds. Sakumo's lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes twinkling with worry with a perpetual frown tugging his brows.
"Team," he greeted solemnly, his eyes drifting to scrutinise Kakashi's face. Kakashi held his gaze unflinchingly. "We have an important mission this week."
Obito and Naruto hooted excitedly while Sasuke looked quietly intrigued.
"Sasuke, Naruto," Sakumo started, running a hand through his thick fringe. "You'll be going with Minato to the Kannabi bridge. The Hokage will brief you as soon as Minato's back."
His eyes drifted back to Kakashi, and in extension, Sakura. "Kakashi and Sakura will be coming with me. But you, Rin and Obito, you're going to join Inoichi-san. Try to learn as much as you can from him, he's very skilled with information gathering and interrogation."
Obito's eyes widened comically and a happy flush lit his cheeks. "Ay Rin, we're going to make awesome partners!"
Rin nodded with a small smile, although her eyes flicked quickly to Kakashi and Sakura. "Yeah."
"As such, I need you—Sasuke and Naruto—and Rin and Obito, to do a few training exercises to strengthen your teamwork while I brief Kakashi and Sakura. Alright?"
"Hai!"
After instructing each duo on what to do, Sakumo drifted to the outskirts of the training grounds, Sakura and Kakashi trudging after him. He motioned for them to sit and joined them on the ground, crossing his legs and taking cover beneath the shade of an oak tree.
"Yesterday the Hokage assigned us a mission." His eyes briefly flickered to Kakashi, but he said nothing, for which the younger Hatake was thankful. "We're going to be infiltrating Iwa's post in Kusagakure to destroy it. You understand this is a very delicate mission with zero margin for error. A mistake could get us all killed."
Kakashi stiffened beside Sakura, and she reached across the dirt to absently stroke her pinkie across the side of his hand. The action did not go unnoticed.
"We're going at night, into enemy territory ... this will be dangerous. I need you to be sharp. You and Kakashi will be apprehending the guards while I sneak in to take care of a few things. We'll establish a perimeter and set up explosive tags, and once I'm out, we'll detonate them. Are we clear?" Sakumo's eyebrow arched inquisitively as he studied their expression.
Sakura seemed oddly calm, not excited nor dreadful. Kakashi's face was blank; his eyes held a strange, defeated look that Sakumo couldn't interpret. "Now that that's out of the way …"
Kakashi's blank mask broke for just a split second, but it was enough for Sakumo to see a flash of worry in his eyes before he asked something important. "You could've told me you weren't coming home last night Kakashi. I waited for you."
Shame briefly hunched Kakashi's shoulders. "Sorry … I went to visit Sakura, and I accidentally fell asleep."
It wasn't exactly a lie; there was some basis of truth to it. He had accidentally fallen asleep after they'd finished with their more interesting activities.
Sakumo's lips pursed briefly and then he stood abruptly. "Let's go get lunch."
Kakashi and Sakura blinked up at him quizzically, but both readily joined him.
The older Hatake led them towards his home, features strangely serious. Sakura shot Kakashi a look but all she got in reply was a tense shrug.
"Err … Sakumo-sensei?" Sakura tentatively called out. "Is something the matter?"
Sakumo ignored her and turned to take the paved path leading up to his porch.
He only responded when he shut the door behind them, the sound strangely ominous and final. "There's something you two aren't telling me."
Sakura and Kakashi visibly tensed.
"There is," Sakumo insisted, when Kakashi and Sakura moved to disagree.
The teens shared a look. "What makes you say that?" Kakashi finally voiced, and Sakura seemed as if she was holding her breath.
Sakumo suddenly growled, and Kakashi didn't remember the last time he saw his dad angry, let alone furious. "I'm not stupid."
The tone was so much harsher than Kakashi was used to hearing that Kakashi had to take a step back, stunned.
But Sakumo wasn't done. "I'm not oblivious Kakashi. You think I didn't notice something was obviously off? This whole time, I knew you two were hiding something. But I thought if I gave you some time you'd confide in me about it of your own volition."
The rosette swallowed audibly, "Sakumo-sensei, really, I don't un—"
"Alright. I'll spell it out." He spat, moving closer to them, posture radiating authority. "How about the fact that the first time I see you after that damned mission you called me Hatake-sensei? Something you haven't done since the first day we met and I explicitly told you to call me Sakumo?"
Sakura's mouth snapped shut with an audible click.
Sakumo carried on, "How about the fact that Kakashi suddenly has random anxiety attacks, something he's never suffered from?"
The older Hatake's gaze was piercing as he looked at his son. "How about the fact that you haven't summoned the pack once in the last month, even though you used to bring them out every week."
Kakashi suddenly felt stone cold at the mention of his ninken. He missed them so terribly but he knew summoning techniques defied space-time travel and he wasn't ready to find who he'd lost yet. The pack hadn't even tried to contact him yet and that by itself had bad written all over it.
Thinking about it was making him feel so nauseous he was sure his face was tinting green.
"And you Sakura. You showed up without your seal and never said a word about it. I thought surely you found a way to conceal it, and with your exhaustion I'd understand why it would become harder to sense but it's simply not there— care to tell me how you lost the chakra reserves of three years?" Sakumo might as well have jabbed his index finger into her collarbones for how accusing his tone sounded.
"So." Sakumo took a step back, crossed his arms sternly and glared at them unrelentingly. "What the hell is it? You know, I trust you two to trust me. Yet all you do is scurry around me like scared rabbits. Have you not got an ounce of—"
"Did you not stop to think for a second that maybe, maybe it was so bad we couldn't tell you?"
Sakumo's eyes snapped to lock with his only son and what he saw there chilled him to the bone. Kakashi had recovered from his stunned expression and was now staring at him rather icily, like it was too damn inconvenient that Sakumo decided to bring this up now. "What could possibly be—"
But Sakumo was interrupted again, rather rudely, when Kakashi shoved forward to close the distance between them and stared him directly in the eyes. His voice came out rough, emotions seeping into it, anger and frustration and sorrow filling his tone. "Dammit dad, for how smart you claim to be …"
"Kakashi," Sakura warned from her place behind him, hand snatching his and tugging him a step back. "He doesn't know. Calm down."
"Then tell me," Sakumo demanded, and looking at him, Kakashi was suddenly reminded of how he was as a teenager, pent up and so frustrated, constantly feeling like he was blind and stumbling about in the darkness, desperate to make sense of everything that had happened to him.
When the teens shared another look, Sakumo nearly grunted with annoyance that they were still debating, still keeping secrets. "Now."
Kakashi took another step back and away from him, now standing shoulder to shoulder with Sakura, and despite how irritated Sakumo was, the action gave him a pause. Kakashi seemed to stand straighter, a strange fire in his eyes. He had yet to let go of Sakura's hand, and he squeezed it tighter, like his strength came from her proximity. Sakumo couldn't help but think that they belonged like that, standing next to each other.
"Fine," Kakashi snarled, and Sakura's hand tightened around his, intertwining their fingers in a blatant sign of support. "Perhaps it would explain everything if we told you who we actually are."
A distinctly uncomfortable feeling gripped Sakumo's heart.
"I'm Kakashi Hatake, jounin of Konohagakure, thirty-eight years old as of last month. This is Sakura Haruno, head of Konoha's central hospital and the second in line for Hokage after me, twenty-four years old." Kakashi glared, and there was something so achingly painful in his eyes, and his posture had gone so rigid like he expected Sakumo to lash out and hit him.
But Sakumo was in no mental state to do that. He was too stunned to even talk.
So Kakashi carried on, bitterly. "We were at war with chakra monsters and gods, all of the great shinobi villages allied and fighting together and all of us dying, dropping dead like flies. And all I could think about for once in my life was that I didn't want to die. That I wanted to live to see a peaceful world, that I wanted to spend more time with Sakura, that I wanted my fucking students back but they were dead."
Sakumo opened and closed his mouth a few times but no sound came out, and the utter look of disbelief that must've clouded his face had Kakashi scowling. "You don't believe me? You know if it wasn't for Sakura, I'd be dead. That's why she doesn't have her damn seal. She nearly killed herself getting us here."
A tremulous breath passed his lips. "I might not be your son, but you're still my dad. And not in my wildest dreams had I ever thought I'd get you back. But one thing I always believed in is that you'd trust me above all. So I'm asking you this, to please believe that we only have your best intentions in mind."
Sakumo exhaled sharply at the words; he hadn't expected them to hit so deep. "You think I … don't believe you?"
"You do?" Sakura gasped, lips parting,
"I … I had my suspicions … just not this," Sakumo said honestly, his thoughts a mess. "I thought you were dabbling with forbidden jutsu. I never questioned your loyalty."
Technically, Sakura had been doing just that, but she refrained from correcting him.
"I have so many questions …" Sakumo muttered dejectedly, pinching the bridge of his nose, all signs of anger bleeding from him so that only exhaustion and worry remained. "First, how? Second, what do you mean when you say you're thirty-eight but Sakura is twenty-four when you're clearly the same age? Third, what the fuck, is there another shinobi war after this one?! And where was I in all of this, how come—"
"Dad." Kakashi cut his ramblings off, taking a calming breath. "Let's sit down okay? Can we do that?"
"Okay. Okay." Sakumo breathed too, aware this conversation was bound to be a long one. "But you have to tell me everything."
" ... Okay."
...
If Sakumo had been shocked before, he was straight up knocked off his damn feet by the time Kakashi finished talking.
There was so much to think about, so much to wrap his mind around. Like the fact that he fucking suicided in some alternative universe, leaving his only son to fend for himself; that was almost impossible to believe. Like the fact that his team, Sakura included, had been Kakashi's students. Like the much crazier thought of a bijuu being created in hopes of putting the world in an eternal dream.
Madara was alive?! They were in trouble, so much trouble if that was true and did his son just say he had a sharingan and it was clawed out of his eye?!
Sakumo blinked a few times, trying to make sense of it all. He decided to start with the smaller issues at hand to ease himself into this clusterfuck. "You're dating your student?"
"She was only my student for a year." Kakashi said, sighing in defeat. "And admittedly I was quite a shitty teacher ... I all but left her to her own devices and focused on Sasuke. Hah, like that led to any good."
Right, apparently Sakumo's student Sasuke Uchiha was a psychopath in some other universe, enslaved and controlled by Orochimaru of the Sannin. Who was a missing nin.
Kami, what kind of world did they come from?
"And when did … this … start?" Despite his carefully constructed questions, Sakumo could see Kakashi's eyes tighten, like he was offended.
"I didn't fucking groom her if that's what you're thinking," Kakashi spat venomously, like he was sick and tired of that assumption, and Sakumo immediately understood that it was a sensitive topic.
Sakura answered for him. "I began to see Kakashi romantically a few months before my twenty-first birthday. I'd harboured feelings for him since I was nineteen, and once I found out the feeling was mutual, I demanded he give us a try."
Sakumo's gaze drifted to her, her chin held high and eyes glinting with defiance. "I love Kakashi, I know he has no ill feelings or intentions for me. We keep each other sane."
It was sweet really, touching, but other matters weighed heavily on Sakumo. "What will you do?"
"What can we do?" Sakura countered with a sigh. "As you can see most things here don't make sense or just aren't the same. Like the fact that you're alive. Like the fact that Kakashi and I are the same age."
He could see her point, and it only worsened his anxiety. "Shall we take this up with the Hokage?"
"Absolutely not," Kakashi disagreed, tone final. "We're not here to be dragged through prisons and interrogations and being mentally violated. We've had enough of that."
Sakura squeezed Kakashi's hand, leaning her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes, finally comfortable with openly displaying their closeness, and Sakumo was hit with another fact. That Kakashi had known Sakura longer than he'd known him.
The thought was slightly sickening, jarring with its implications, but he was glad the young woman had been taking care of his son.
He needed more time to think. Besides, hadn't Kakashi all but fled after crashing that meeting with the Hokage? It made no sense if he and Sakura were already war veterans and used to these missions for him to have become so agitated. "What of our mission, anyway? Is it all for naught?"
Kakashi stiffened again, and Sakura sighed aloud. She detangled herself from Kakashi and sat straight. "Sakumo-sensei. Kakashi believes this is the mission thatled to your … demise … and the other one was originally the mission that killed Obito. But seeing as Obito won't be going on that mission, we're more worried about it being Naruto to die in his place. If someone was meant to die then anyway."
Another metaphorical bomb dropped over Sakumo's unsuspecting head. Obito's death?
He opened his mouth to ask but then closed it immediately and decided he was better off not knowing.
Finally, "Do you have a plan?"
Kakashi and Sakura shared another one of their cryptic looks before Kakashi answered. "Since you're now aware of our situation, a lot has changed. As long as you cooperate with us, and trust our skills, I think it should be fine."
"How will I trust your skills if I don't know anything about it?" Sakumo asked unsurely, not wanting to offend them but needing to address what was asked of him. "You said you're next in line for Hokage? Or are you already Hokage?"
It was so bizzare to attach the name Kakashi with the word "Hokage," and it didn't feel quite real. Which made it easier to say without sounding like he'd walked into a brick wall.
"Next in line," Kakashi clarified. "But seeing as I wasn't a fan and really just didn't want that position, Tsunade started to train Sakura just in case. Since Sakura was her apprentice."
"Tsunade is Hokage …?" Sakumo asked, the words strange and foreign on his tongue. Tsunade had left a few years ago, leaving Sakura to refine her technique by herself, and somehow Sakura had managed to replicate her seal at age fourteen, which was not only unprecedented, but mind blowing by itself.
He forced his thoughts to a firm halt when it tried to replay Tsunade's last words to him and how much it had hurt to … to …
Whatever. It didn't matter anymore.
"Yeah." Sakura's confirmation brought him back from the brink of falling back into that terrible hole of self-doubt and what ifs. "But let's spare you the details. Is there any way we could notify Minato-sama of this before he departs on his mission?"
"Minato-sama?" Sakumo mouthed wordlessly, floored yet again, but this time decided he really was better off not knowing; information overload was a thing and he didn't enjoy it. "Sure we could. What do you plan to tell him?"
Silence descended on them, thick and suffocating. It was becoming more and more apparent how out of their depth Kakashi and Sakura were, how little of a plan they really had.
And this whole fiasco raised another quite terrifying question.
What happened to his Kakashi?
