Author's Note: I just wanted to point out that the scene where Nepeta touches Rose while she bends over is based on something similar that happened to two IRL friends of me. This is not the best chapter, but I was pretty tired while writing it. Don't worry, I'll shape up!
Alright, it's your turn to deal! This is feeling great. You begin shuffling the deck. A thought begins forming in your head. You have a desperate need to make a bad joke...
"Every day I'm shuf-" you begin, but you're interrupted by Jade using her Witch of Space powers to scatter the cards all over the floor. The trolls just stare, not knowing what the hell you did to deserve that.
"No", Jade says.
"I promise not to do that again", you say.
Jade seems satisfied with that answer. You prepare to pick up the cards. As you learn forward, you can feel something underneath your skirt touching your ass. It has to be Nepeta's hand. The fact that you can hear her giggling confirms this. Normally, if someone grabbed your ass like this, you'd slap them in the face. However, with Nepeta, the situation's different. You decide to let the cards stay on the floor for a while.
"Leave my ass alone", you say in a flirty tone as you leap towards Nepeta and begin to tickle her. Oh man, this is fun! You had no idea the evening would turn out to be this good.
"The cards?" Vriska sounds more irritated than she normally does. What a total bitch. Does she have no sense of fun? Jade has used her powers to pick the deck up for you. You shuffle it again and begin handing out the cards. Two cards for you, two cards for Vriska and Feferi, two cards for Jane and Aradia... Alright, two cards for everyone! Yours are:
8(D) J(D)
It is not great, but you suppose it'll get you somewhere. This time, Vriska and Feferi put up the small blind. It's Vriska's right sock. Feferi seems to have no trouble getting it off her foot. If you were Feferi, you'd try to get Vriska to cheer up. But you're not.
The big blind is contributed by Jane and Aradia. They're both trying to get the other's left sock off at the same time. It looks hilarious. You and Nepeta should totally try it out some time later. Terezi and Jade throw in one of Vriska's socks and one of Feferi's. Yet again, you can see Kanaya's hand making its way up under Roxy's skirt to remove her right stocking. Pretty sexy, but it is still your daughter. Roxy then takes off Kanaya's right sock. These guys just have to have dated or something. There's no way someone can be that casual about putting their hand under someone's skirt. No way at all. Ah, right, it's your turn to bet. Nepeta picks up Terezi's right shoe and Roxy's left with her mouth and carries it into the middle like a cat on all fours. You decide a little revenge might be in order and give her a quick slap on the ass. She drops the shoes and gives you a flirtatious wink as Vriska takes off Feferi's left sock. Time for the flop. Not flop as in failure, but as in the first three cards in the middle.
8(H) 10(H) 7(H)
Hmm, a lot of hearts. Did you shuffle the deck correctly? Still, you have a pair, and that's not too bad. You decide to just check and go along. Vriska and Feferi look kinda disappointed. They throw down their cards to show that they're folding. You notice something. They're both barefoot, making them the first officially barefoot team. You're still waiting for the first officially bare-assed team though. Everyone else goes along with checking, and it's time for the fourth card. You wish for luck...
J(H)
Are you the Goddess of Luck or something? You've got two pairs now! It's time for a raise. You pick up Roxy's left shoe from your pile of won clothes and you throw it into the pot. Jane + Aradia and Terezi + Jade instantly fold. Roxy takes off Kanaya's left sock, and it goes straight to the pile. You can't help but wonder what they have. Fifth card...
Q(D)
You show off your two-paired hand, hoping that Roxy and Kanaya won't have something better. They have:
6(S) 3(C)
This gives them a hand of... Absolutely fucking nothing. You wonder what the hell they were thinking. Of course, Vriska just has to ask that in her most sarcastic and bitchy voice.
"Please... You folded the first round", Roxy says.
If glares could kill, Vriska would have killed the whole room several times over now. Still, you win some clothes!
You now have:
Your ordinary clothes plus the following:
Terezi's right shoe
Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes
Vriska and Feferi's left shoes
Jade and Aradia's right shoes
Vriska and Feferi's socks
Jane + Aradia's left socks
Roxy's right stocking, Kanaya's socks.
You pass the deck on to Vriska, hoping she's better at dealing cards than being nice. You lean back towards Nepeta and think of what has happened tonight. You guess you are ass buddies now? Also, you might have flashed your ass for the entire room to see when you bent over, but you don't care. Your ass is awesome, and everyone should see it.
