4

I looked into the mirror and sighed. Today was the day we lay my mother to rest. It was final she was gone and there was no coming back from this with her. I slid my hands down the dress that she had picked out the last time that we went shopping hopefully not knowing that this was the dress I would wear to her funeral. She also picked out good clothes for me but I wished she hadn't picked this out. I wished that she was still there and none of this was happening. But it was and there was nothing to do to change it. I'm wearing her dress on the day that I have to let go. "Tear, are you ready Baby doll?"

I looked in the mirror at Mark as the tears came down. "She picked out this dress. I bet she knew I was going to need it for today. I bet that is why she picked it out."

Mark walked in and hugged me to him as I started to ball."I know we keep saying this but it's going to be ok."

I looked down at my mother and then looked at the people that had showed up. It almost surprised me that my brother and sister showed up but it didn't because I knew that they were there to get what they thought they deserved. "My mom use to tell me that she didn't want me to cry when she finally passed away. I told her I would try not to cry today but I'm sorry mom I couldn't do it. Her life was surrounded around three people. My brother, my sister and me. We were the only ones that mattered to her. Too bad not all of us felt the same way.

When mom called me and told me that she had cancer I did the only thing that I could think to do and quit school. For almost nine years I watched everyday as the cancer robbed her of life a little bit every day. And a little of me died with her each day.

We all heard the stories. We all know why mom was always there for me. I can honestly say I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her. I am who I am today because of her. Because she was my hero. So, today as these tears fall know that it's not just because I lost a mom. I also lost my best friend and hero. I love you mom." I said as the tears slid from my eyes.

When I went to walk to my seat I stopped by the casket and cupped my mom's face. "Rest now my angel, for there is no more pain where you are going." Then I kissed her one last time before the world went dark and I passed out.

I was up and beside her before the others got to us. "Come on Tear wake up."

"Don't worry she is fine just a drama queen. Has been since we were kids." A snobby female voice said from above me.

"That's coming from someone that was too busy to say goodbye to their dying mother." I snapped back and she shut up.

"I passed out didn't I?" Tear asked as she opened her eyes.

"Stop being a drama queen." Her sister told her.

"Shut up you money hungry whore." She spat back and I smiled at that.

"Why you bitch!" She said and Mark grabbed her shoulder.

"One more outburst and I will make you leave." Mark said to her and she paled.

"Are you ok?" I asked Tear.

"I will be once this day is over." She said and I nodded. I could understand how she was feeling.

I helped her to her seat before we sat down. "It's almost over. Just a little longer and we'll get you home and drunk."

"Now that is what I need." She said to me and I smiled.

I stood and watched as they lowered the casket into the grave. Jeff was right there beside me where he has been since I passed out. When the crane stopped I lifted my hands first dropping in the yellow and purple rose in and then the dirt that was in my other hand. "Goodbye mom."

Jeff wrapped his arm around my shoulders and guided me away from the grave and towards the limo we arrived in. "You are so brave."

"No, I'm selfish I want her back." I said to him.

"I know." He said to as he guided me to the door of the limo.

Mark opened it and I let him help me in before I slid over to allow them in. "Family only."

"Don't mind them." I told them and they got in anyways.

"We need to talk alone." My brother said to me and I rolled my eyes.

"Here since this is all you two came for." I said as I pulled out two checks and threw them at them. "You are lucky that you even got that."

"There should be more." My sister said and I laughed.

"Mom left you two nothing. I'm giving you that so you will stay the hell out of my life, so, stay the hell away from me." I growled at them and they looked at me surprised.

When we arrived back at Tear's place there were two men sitting on the steps waiting on her. They stood up as we got out of the hummer and looked at us scared. When they seen Tear they relaxed a little until they saw her face. I don't know what the look was but they both took a step back when she started to walk towards them.

"Oh look the friends I can never count on. Always coming around after it's too late. Did you want to come and tell me more lies as to why you weren't there? If you are then you can just leave because I'm going in changing and getting trashed. And we all know how I get when I'm upset and trashed. You guys don't want to be there for that. In fact why don't you forget you know me?" She said to them.

"Tear…" "Don't even say anything just get in your fucking car and leave. I don't need to hear you bullshit to know that it is bullshit. I have been there no matter what for all of you and none of you have been there when I needed them. So I don't think that you or any of you have anything that I want to hear." She said and I couldn't help but feel proud of her.

I knew that they wanted to say something more but when one of them went to Mark and Glen took a step towards them. "We think that you should leave like she said. That is unless you want your asses kicked."

The two guys rushed around us and got into their cars before they pulled away. Tear watched as they left and I saw that it hurt her even more to say that to them. But I knew in the long run she would feel better about it then she does now. "Let's get you in the house and get this party started."

"Now that is what I want to hear." She said as she led us to the front door.

"Are you sure about getting trashed though?" Shannon asked her.

"Don't worry I just want a few to relax. I just wasn't going to tell them that. Now why don't we all go change and then meet in the pool room. I haven't broken that place in yet so now is the time." She said to us before she disappeared into the house with us following her.

"Hey, Jeff can I talk to you out here for a moment?" Mark asked me and I stayed back as the others went in.

"What is it that you want to talk about?" I asked him and he looked at me.

"I think that you are doing a great thing and everything just do not let her get hurt. I don't think that she could take it right now. I know that you wouldn't let her get hurt on purpose but I know that once we get on the road others will try to fuck with her. She has innocent written all over her and I'm worried the other guys will try to use her." Mark said to me and I nodded.

"I have been thinking the same thing but I know that with us there then we can watch over her. I know that we all have grown very protective over her in the last week." I said to him and he nodded.

"That is my baby doll in there and if anything happens to her then the ones that did it are going to pay for it." He said to me and we both nodded.

"If you guys are done with all the over protective stuff I do believe that it is time it have a party. And this one is for my mother." Tear said from behind us and we both laughed.

When Tear came down dressed in a pair of short shorts and a leather top I knew that she was the one that I wanted. She was something altogether different and amazing at the same time. "So are we ready to party or not?"

"I would have to say that we are." Mark said to her and she smiled.

"Then let's do shots." She said to him and he laughed.

"I knew there was a reason that I liked you." Mark said as he went behind the bar and set up shot glasses.

"So what are we drinking?" He asked her.

"I'm drinking JD. I don't know about the rest of you." She said to him as she sat in front of him.

"I like the sound of that." He said as he poured her a shot.

"You started without us." Jeff said as he and Matt walked into the room.

"We haven't even taken a drink yet so get your asses over here. You too Shannon." She called to me and I made my way over.

As we partied I saw a side of Tear that I knew not many people saw. She was daring when she drank and a huge flirt. It had to get her into trouble when she went out. "Shanny what are you thinking about?"

"You." I said to her and she smiled.

"What about me?" She asked as she sat down beside me. I could tell that she was getting drunk but wasn't there yet. "I was thinking how great of a person you are. There isn't another one out there like you."

"You my Reject are so sweet. Now come and dance with me." She said as she pulled me out of my seat and headed over to the floor where there was nothing at.

Cyclone came on and she would have put the women in that video to shame had she been in it. "I love this song." She said to me and I wrapped my arm around her waist. It was now one of my favorite songs too.

As we danced I couldn't help but wonder how she was going to take leaving tomorrow. After being here for eight years it was going to be hard on her and I knew that but I knew that she needed to get away. Anyone that looked at her could see that she would die more inside if she stayed. That wasn't what we wanted to happen to our new friend.

Tear pulled me out of my thoughts when she dropped to the floor and slid up my body and pressed herself against me. That was the sexiest thing I ever saw and I knew that she felt it. When she looked at me I saw the look in her eyes and I leaned in and kissed her. When she didn't pull away I deepened the kiss before I was pulled away from her. I saw shock on her face before she turned around and raced out of the room.

"Are you fucking stupid?" Mark growled down to me and I shook him off of me. I wanted to go after Tear but Jeff had already gone running after her.

"You shouldn't have done that." Matt said as he walked up to us.

"I know it's just the look in her eyes. It was like she wanted it." I said to them.

"Then why did she run away?" Matt asked me and I shrugged my shoulders.

I made it to my room before Jeff made it to me. I couldn't believe that Shannon kissed me and I let him. I shouldn't have allowed that but it happened and I must say that he was a good kisser. But there was nothing there. There wouldn't ever be anything there. "Tear, open the door."

I looked at the door and shook my head. "I think that I would rather have it closed at the moment."

"It's ok it is just me out here. Why don't you let me in and we can talk?" Jeff asked me and I sighed.

When I opened the door he stepped in and closed it. Before I knew what was happening he picked me up and carried me to the bed. I was about to say something when he kissed me and took my breath away. I couldn't think straight and I knew then that it was bad. If one kiss could do that to me I hated to see what the sex was really like. But I had a feeling if I didn't end it soon I would find out. I pulled away from him and drew in a deep breath.

"Sorry." He said as he looked away from me.

"Don't lie to me. We both know that you aren't sorry about that kiss." I said to him and he looked at me.

"I feel like I should be." He said to me and I rolled my eyes.

"You have so much going on right now that I feel like I am taking advantage of you like this." He said to me and I pulled away from him and rolled to the side of the bed.

I didn't know what to say to this. I never been in something like this before and I knew that if I was to work with him I couldn't do this. "It won't happen again Jeff. Right now I don't need this. I need to be busy and this is something that I don't think I can handle."

I knew what I was saying had to be hurting him but he had to understand that it wouldn't work out. There was much about me that they didn't know and I planned on keeping it that way. I didn't want them to see that I was tainted. That would kill me to see that look in their eyes. The fact that they knew my dark secret. "I think that you are right. You have so much on your plate and I didn't mean to put more on there for you. But know that when you are ready I will be here waiting."

I couldn't help but smile at that. "All this over the fact that Shannon kissed me."

"All this over the fact that when he kissed you all you did was stand there." He said to me.

"I was in shock." I said to him.

"We might want to get down there before Mark kills him. He has become very protective over you." Jeff said to me.

"Then we better not tell him what you did then huh?" I asked him before I rushed to the door and out of it before he could grab me.

"MARK!!!" I screamed and giggled as Jeff chased me down the stairs.

When I got to the bottom Mark was there and I jumped into his arms. "Save me Jeff is chasing me around!"

Mark laughed and shook his head as he carried me back into the pool room. Shannon looked over at me and I winked at him letting him know that everything was going to be ok. "Well, it looks like Shannon has finally gotten that kiss he was after."

"Damn it he did didn't he?" I asked in mock anger.

"Then I must give the rest their kisses too. After all it's only fair." I said to him before I kissed him on his cheek.

"Thank you baby doll." He said as he looked down at me.

"No thank you for caring so much. After a week I feel like you guys are family." I said to him before he put me down on a stool beside Glen.

I leaned over and kissed his cheek and he looked at me. "What was that for?"

"For being here for me." I said to him and he smiled.

"You are more than welcomed." He said to me and I winked at him.

"Oh Kelly!!! Mickey!!! Do you guys want kisses too?" I called out to them and all turned and looked at me.

"I want one!" Mickey said as she came over followed by Kelly. "I don't want to be left out."

I smiled and winked at them as we all three moved into together for a kiss on the lips knowing the guys were watching. Right before our lips touched I leaned in and kissed one and then the other on the cheek.

"Damn it." Shannon moaned and we all three busted out laughing.

"You girls are mean. That was just plain bad and you know it. I think you need to make up for it by making out with each other." Matt said to us and we all three laughed at him.