A/N: Some characters may have mis-spelled names. If so, PM me and I'll correct it.


Cure For a Derpy Doctor

She watched him, for a time, long enough to realize two things. She was in the right timeline...the one where both he and she were right where they should be on both their timelines...and that he was alone. That was not a good thing, she knew, so she did the only thing she could do...since he was ignoring people. She 'tripped' and tripped him in the process of trying to not actually fall on him, sending him sprawling on the muddy sidewalk. His wide, startled eyes met Rose Tyler's gaze as he reached out to catch her and she smiled at him as she stepped in closer.

"I called you twice and I know you heard me." She told him, as she gave him a hand up. "Your own fault I tripped ya."

"Rose..." He breathed. "How...?"

"Different species doing your job. They kept him, put him to work and sent me home."

"He let them?"

"Yeah, well...he married that universe's Sarah Jane. It didn't really take all that long before we realized he had enough Donna in him that...he was feminine, that is, he's got both sets of plumbing. And that universe's Sarah Jane is bi with a strong leaning toward lesbian, so...yeah. The Biydh, well, they, uh, figured a way out for me to surf the Rift and get home safely and it took him and one of the Biydh to locate one your younger forms...and well, explain, well you, uh, just dropped me off here and now." She still had his fingers in her hand, was holding on tightly, so very tightly.

He didn't mind: Not in the least, not in the tiniest part did he mind. He did shift his grip so their fingers interlaced and when he did she stepped even closer, startling Vestra and Jenny as the Doctor not only allowed the closeness, but reached around Rose with his free hand and drew her closer still. Her head came to rest between his hearts and her own free hand ran around his waist, so close they were nearly in the same skin.

He looked over Rose's head to the shocked eyes of his friends. "This is Rose Tyler. She keeps doing things she shouldn't be capable of, but she does them all the same." He kissed the top of her head and then laid his cheek there. "And she's mine. She said so, centuries ago...and then I did something really stupid and she wasn't here, in this universe, after that for a long time. I'm not letting go again. I can't. I won't." He loosed his hand from her's then and put it around her as well, her freed hand went to his back under his jacket and started rubbing circles and stroking him into calm. It took a while, but he did calm down as he dragged her to the ladder.


"No. I know full well you have a setting to call her and I also know she doesn't need any help from you to pull the wardrobe room ladder up. and if you don't call her, I will...cuz I'm not climbing that thing." She told him bluntly, slipping one arm under his frock coat and around his waist. "And you know that I can."

"True." He quirked a smile at her upturned face, and simply did as he was told. Amy had gotten him rather used to that, actually. But Rose pretty well treated all his bodies, with allowances for his quirks in each, the same. Besides, he knew that tone.

She turned her eyes to his friends. "What's he been doing that's got him nervous about me finding out? You may as well tell me, because I promise you that the TARDIS will tell on him the first chance she gets. That's the easiest way to make him behave, you know...tell her, she'll tell me, and then she and I will fix him."

"Rose...did you have to tell them that?" The whinge made the fem couple smile and start taking turns telling Rose exactly what they knew. Which was quite a lot, actually.

She sighed. "Burn out." She told them, recognizing the symptoms. "Okay, I'll get him sorted. You go get Miss Clara and her charges and their father and bring them to the TARDIS. I want them in protective custody while we figure this out. No place safer than behind her shields so I want you three to move in here too. I'll give Doctor lessons...Care, Feeding and Handling, 101." She shot a glance at his reddening face. "Possibly 201 as well." She added as the ship materialized around the pair of them. "His clone did give me one thing I will treasure forever...not aging, me, see? So he knew it was safe to tell me since he was pretty sure this old goat should and wouldn't."

"Old Goat!?" He complained as she pulled his head down so she could whisper something in his ear.

His name.

"WHAT!?" His tone was filled with shock.

"Consider it done by proxy...you're mine." She told him firmly. "Always have been, but this time you have no more excuses."

He paused, thought about it, groaned and finally just nodded. "Proxies are legal, proxies that are also you, or rather, me...yeah. I've always been your's...and my metacrisis made sure there'd be no balking...it's a done deal. But you're mine too, so it works."

"Have been since 'run'." She told him softly. "And the only person who had to actually be told that, is you."

"Oh, Rose..."

"Which by definition makes you somewhat dumber than a human...at least in practice."

"ROSE!"

*WHO*

Vestra and Jenny grinned heartlessly as the plaint faded behind the ship's hull.

"Old goat?" Jenny snickered. "Dumber than a human? Seems she has him well in hand."

"Oh yes, I have heard many things about Miss Rose Tyler. Three of his regenerations she has known and committed to him from within the first few weeks of knowing him. She accepts him as he is...just as she accepted me as I am. She is an experienced traveler, after all. She ignores differences like species and just gets to know people. Let's do as she asked and then we shall watch her housebreak him. It should be highly entertaining."


She waited until he finished putting them back on the cloud, though he kept the ladder in the ship this time...no need to confuse the children or their father though Clara seemed to take it in stride.

"Now, this is how we're going to do this, I've got experience that Clara lacks and you've kids on the TARDIS. I know what's going on, Clara...very much so, and thank you. But I think you need to sit this one out, take care of your charges also, since kids that age loose in here..." Rose shuddered as Clara laughed.

"I didn't think any one else knew."

"Well, Time speaks to me, sometimes."

She just nodded, grinning at a very confused Doctor. "You haven't met me properly yet. That is still to come...though with an edit, I think."

"Oh yes," Rose nodded decisively. "It took longer than you can imagine, most of you but I finally got this great lug to marry me. No idea why, everyone realizes pretty fast that while sweet natured and unusually adorable, the Doctor needs a keeper."

"Oi!" He protested.

"Tell him, Clara...he can lock the information up when this adventure is done. But this one is the last one until he was to have picked you up anyway, though for him, it hasn't started yet and you're the wrong you. So, we get this sorted, you'll stay with your charges and we'll see you in your reincarnated form in the future. I know you think they'll be a next time, but there isn't, since this is the last one. Next one you start your real life...okay? So, tell him."

"Rose?" The Doctor's unease was clear.

"She's in her own present but she came from your future, this version. You won't meet her until she's actually in her first life though at this point she's lived thousands of lives...for one purpose." Rose told him gently. "That's what she needs to tell you, the details, I mean. They are fixed at this point and you'll be coming to fetch her soon, this you but a few years down the line from now, mind...so the now-you need to know what's going on in the now so you don't meet yourself coming. She's throwing your time-sense out of whack and so she needs to let you know, just for a few days, what's going on."

"Ah!" Now he nodded, beginning to understand.

Clara nodded, then moved off several paces and waited for the Doctor to join her just out of earshot of the children and their father. Things were about to get very, very complicated...no need for normal people to get that confused though Rose didn't seem worried about it...she'd explained what she had rather openly.

Rose watched her husband growing more and more restless and upset...not that having a menace enter his post death timestreams to ruin his life followed by a human companion entering to put it to rights was anything to get upset about, she thought with rueful sarcasm. And at the end of the explanation, he enfolded the girl in a tight hug.


"She's my adopted sister...she has saved my husband's life few times." Rose told the children when the questions started. "Since she has no family, it was the least I could do."

"Sounds like it." Their father replied quietly. "This is all very strange."

"Well, now you know for sure, there are people in the universe that aren't human but they're still people. Like Vestra and Straxx. Very nice people actually. You've just got to get past appearances and get to know the soul instead. In fact, I'm quite sure that Madam knows some perfectly wonderful stories children...and I think if you're polite and willing to learn what she can teach you about acceptance and people, if you ask her..."

Both youngsters bolted for the lizard lady, the boy because he liked lizards and toads, the girl because she thought Vestra was beautiful.

Jenny looked at Rose and grinned as her wife started up in 'teacher' mode at once. Two young minds that were willing to be opened to a wider universe and which were able to be taught tolerance and acceptance from these young ages were more than the dignified alien could resist. She guided the children's father to a bedroom not far from the library and admonished him that everyone ate in the main kitchen, there was no dining room and no need for one.

"It's a different sent of rules on the TARDIS, laid back and casual only. Unless the cloister bells start ringing...in that case, stay in your room and the TARDIS will keep the children in the nursery. She'll keep the lot of you fed until the emergency is over, if we should have one."

"How likely is that?"

"With just the Doctor? About 35% chance something will go wrong and spoil his day. With me here the chance is closer to 70%, add in Vestra, Jenny and Straxx? Just about guaranteed. Just stay in the ship and you'll be fine. The ice lady can't get past the shields." She told him when he went white as a sheet.


~*~ TBC ~*~