Chapter Three: As You Like It


When Darcy and Jane entered the apartment, it was to the smell of something both good and very bad. Like the smell of the worlds best waffles, and of burned eggs and sugar.

They entered into the kitchen, their eyes going wide. For there stood the alien brothers, both dressed to the nines, hair slicked back and all. But that wasn't what made the two women stop in their tracks. It was the table, it had been set with a lace table cloth that Darcy was sure cost Tony hundreds of dollars, and the most elegant and expensive china and silver she had ever seen. What was more was the two places that were set, each with a single rose.

Darcy giggled a bit, both men stood beside what she figured was their side. Loki's looked so good that her stomach started to growl. There atop the plate was a thick waffle, still steaming from the iron. It had been topped with cream and several chocolate covered strawberries, the chocolate melting down to drip off the sides of the waffle. Two pieces of bacon sat along the edge and a glass of orange juice and club soda was beside the vase with the rose.

Thor's on the other hand….something lumpy and black had been placed in the middle of the plate with a huge heap of scorched scrabbled eggs on the side. She figured the two black strips on the side was bacon, but she wasn't so sure. Instead of sparkling orange juice, he had set down a huge cup of coffee….coffee so strong there was actually a white film floating on top.

Both men stood there smiling, obviously expecting praises from the women before them. Before her or Jane could say anything, Loki walked over and took Darcy by the hand, setting her down before the waffle. Oh god, the smell of it was enough to send her into ecstasy.

She looked up to see Jane hesitate before sitting down at the plate of black whatever. The moment she sat down though, Thor frown and picked up the plate.

"This is not for you. I made this for Lady Darcy." The two women stared at each other for a moment, Darcy giving a look to Jane that simply said "I told you so." Jane blinked and started to say something, but Thor had already set the plate back down on a different side of the table and reset it. He then grabbed Darcy's hand and pulled her up and sat her down in front of the food he had prepared. Jane made strange noises, almost like she was choking, but Darcy didn't pay any attention, she was too busy trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

Darcy didn't have the time to actually figure things out, as Loki quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the chair she had been in previously. The moment she sat down Thor had her other hand and started to pull her back, but Loki still had her other hand and the two ended up tugging her back and forth. She felt like the fucking shinny new toy, being fought over by a couple of kids.

"Let go of her Brother! Can you not see that I've made her breakfast?" Right.

"What I see is that you mean to poison her, Thor." Now left.

"I am not the one that would do such a thing. Now let go." Now right.

"I would never even think about hurting Darcy. You let go, you have already got one lady." Now left.

"You are just jealous, Brother!" Once again right.

"I swear Thor, you have always stolen my things." Once again left.

"Thor! Stop it! What in the world are you doing? Why did you make breakfast for Darcy? Thor?! Why are you acting like this?" The brothers just ignored Jane and continued to jostle Darcy back and forth. It was seriously getting ridiculous.

"STOP IT!" Darcy's voice was loud enough that she was finally able to get their attention. Thankfully it also stopped their tugging when they looked down at her.

"How about I just eat them both, I'm very hungry anyway." That seemed to finally settle them down and they placed both plates and drinks in front of her.

"Here you go, Lady Darcy." Right.

"Enjoy, my dear Little Girl." Left. Even if they no longer pulled her, she was getting dizzy.

Jane just stood there looking lost before she actually stomped her foot like a child and marched out of the room.

Darcy ignored her, too worried about how she was going to eat everything in front of her, but knowing if she didn't the brothers would really start to fight. She looked between the two plates, Loki's looked so good, but she was kind of scared about eating Thor's.

Still she cut a bite of his and quickly stuffed it into her mouth. She tried not to gag, apparently he had tried to make French toast, but he must have had the stove on too high. The outside was black as coal, but the inside was cold and gooey, filled with a raw egg and milk mixture. She forced down the bite, and gave him a closed mouth smile. He looked so smug looking over towards his brother.

When Darcy looked at Loki it was to see him frowning. Knowing he was about to make a scene she cut into the waffle and took a bite. Oh good god, fucking wow! She was seriously having a foodgasm. She knew she was moaning, but fucking hell, who knew that Loki could cook like that?

When she looked up she noticed that Loki was the one looking smug. Great, damn it all too hell and back. She took another bite of the French toast and had to force herself to make moaning sounds. Back and forth she went, taking bite after bite from each plate until there was nothing left.

She pushed both plates away knowing she was one bite away from exploding, sadly at that moment two glasses were set down in the plates' place. She grimaced, but picked up the orange juice and took a sip, she knew she would have enjoyed it far more if she hadn't been so full. She then picked up the coffee, that was by then ice cold, and took a sip. She had to keep from spitting it out across the table, it was fucking tar!

Quickly she worked to drink down both cups, once finished she stood up, trying very hard not to throw up all over the brothers. They both looked so happy. She smiled at them, hoping that when she spoke she didn't also upchuck.

"Thank you both. They were delicious." She started to walk away, but was stopped by two hands on either side of her arms.

"True Heart." Right.

"Sweet Girl." Left.

She turned to find them both standing there with the roses in hand. They handed them to her and each gave her a kiss on the cheek before standing back to let her go. Darcy walked as quickly as she could back to her room and collapsed on her bed.

She really needed some Pepto, but she didn't think she could get off the bed. They really needed to figure out what was going on, because she wasn't sure she could handle another meal like that.


Author's Note: As I said, this isn't going to be a huge story. Only ten chapters long and the chapters themselves will be short.

Anyway, I really wish I could draw, cause I have this image in my head of Loki and Thor pulling Darcy back and forth in her chair as Jane yelled at Thor. Well, I have that image as well as Thor's naked poetry. ;)

More coming soon!

Disclaimer:

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.