Title: Bitter Cold
Author: kawaiichiisaikitsune(piratekiari)
Rating: K+
Pairings: HoroRen
Summary: Ice. Bitter and cold. It has nothing to do with him. Yet, it does. (One-shot Collection)

Kiari-san suddenly thought up another one-shot while she was doing homework. She was coloring Europe, to be exact. It's nice and green and yellowish now. Anyways! It didn't last. She had two sentences and then she was just stuck. Then something hit her. Why not do a song fic? And so now Kiari-san has made one! She hopes this one is better than her last one-shot. That one wasn't too good, and she's sorry. Well then, on with the song fic.

Disclaimer- Ha ha ha! That's a good one. You actually thought Kiari-san owned Shaman King? Pfft! She wishes! Oh, and she also doesn't own All American Rejects or their songs. She does, however, own their Move Along album.

bold italics lyrics

Move Along

"Oh Reeeenny!" Horokue Usui sang happily as he pranced through the house, looking for his chinese teammate. Yet he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't in the kitchen drinking his precious milk. He wasn't sitting in front of the television watching one of his soaps. He wasn't in his training room practicing with his kwan dao or over soul. He wasn't in his room reading. He wasn't in Horo's room sleeping. He was nowehere!

Horohoro was completely stumped. Where could he be?

Miles away from Horokue and their shared apartment Tao Ren sat at a graveyard. He leant back against the gravestone of a dead relative and stared aimlessly at the sky. His mind was filled with thousands of thoughts; some pointless; some worthwhile. He thought about each and every one of them anyways, though.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands

Absently Ren closed his eyes and relaxed in the eerie quiet of the graveyard. He let images roam his mind; memories flooding back. Reluctantly, he stood up and stared at the gravestone of his forever gone family member. Golden eyes softened as he gazed at the writing etched in the marble stone. He slowly knelt down upon the moist grass in front of it and traced his hand over each letter or number written.

Tao Jun
A woman honored by many
1981-2001

He had nothing to give or present; he felt bad enough for not even attending her funeral. She helped him through the things she could. She showed him concern and love when no one else did. And he never once thanked her, or even seemed grateful.

Gracefully standing to his feet, Ren stared sadly at the grave once more. He didn't make notion to flee. Just stood there, motionless, focused on the grave before him. He couldn't, no, he wouldn't believe she was really dead. Even if his own eyes decieved him, he kept wishing over and over that it was all a dream. Ever since that incident.

The chinese shaman wanted to forget about it all. Forget about the fight and how it had gone horribly wrong. But it happened so fast no one could do anything about it. Of course, Ren got revenge upon the petty shaman who dared sentenced his dear sister to her end.

It had actually been a year since then and the purple-haired shaman still couldn't let it go. He'd wake up every night hoping everything had been a dream, but that never happened. It was truth and he could do nothing of it.

Ren was weak. Raising his hands into his view he found them shivering. Twitching with anger, yet shaking with fear and remorse. He wasn't sure what he should've been feeling. Should he remain angry? Should he remain sad? What was he suppose to feel now?

Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Horohoro couldn't figure this out. He'd check all the rooms thousands of time. Every crack and crevice, but still he couldn't find the chinese shaman. Where could he have been hiding? Then it hit him, like a cold, wet snowball slapping against the back of his head.

The bluenette smiled to himself and pranced to the front door. Throwing on his ever famous snow jacket and adjusting his headband over his ears he exited the warm apartment and entered the cold outdoors. With wind whipping at him with icy fingers he made his way to the cemetery gate. If Ren wasn't here there was no other place Horo knew of.

"Reeenny?" He sang out hopefully. No sound answered him, though. Casually he opened the rusty, iron gate and stepped inside the large graveyard. Walking unsurely he made turns here and there as if he were in a maze.

"Reeenny?" He repeated, jogging in circles around the tombstones. Then, by pure accident, he ran into a marble column that belonged to a wealthy grave and fell painfully to the grassy ground. Dizzily looking around himself he saw the tip of Ren's tongari and jumped to his feet. He was still dizzy from his accident so he swayed back and forth as though he was drunk as he ran towards the chinese.

Soon enough the vertically-challenged shaman came into Horohoro's veiw. "Ren!" He called out once more, earning an insignificant glance from the said boy. The blue-haired Ainu stopped abruptly mere feet away from Ren and started taking in deep breaths of exhaustion. After a second of catching his breath he looked up at his teammate and grinned.

"I've finally found you, Renny," He grinned wider, "But, why are you here?"

Tao Ren's golden tiger-like eyes glanced at Horo's own obsidian ones before finding the dew-covered grass more interesting.

"Ren?" The ice shaman's voice was filled with concern, "What's wro--" He stopped himself as he caught site of the gravestone in front of them. "Oh," He replied so softly it was barely audiable.

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do

The chinese shaman's eyes wandered farther away from the grave and his bluenette friend. Within the little time before Horohoro had found him he had given up. He was never going to wake up from the nightmare. Jun wasn't ever going to be coming back. He wasn't going to be able to find anyone to replace her. But who could? She was irreplacable. She was his one and only 'nee-san.

If he could, Ren would've broken down in tears. But he couldn't. Not with the Ainu standing there, looking at him sympathetically. So he had to settle for just folding his arms close and biting back his tears. He wouldn't show weakness. He wouldn't!

And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

Unable to keep his emotionless façade on, small tears leaked out from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Quickly he turned himself away from Horohoro so that the bluenette wasn't able to see his weakened state.

Horohoro wasn't completely blind though. Stupid? maybe a little, but definitely not blind. A small life-dependent debat began in his head; either he should try and help and get his head chewed off in the end, or, he could leave Ren alone to get over it himself and live to see another day. With a sigh he reluctantly decided that the former would be the better choice, even if he did die in the process.

Bracing himself mentally, he went for it. "R-renny?" He asked nervously, though worry and concern were the dominant tones in his gentle voice, "D-do you want to talk about it?"

The chinese turned around to face the Ainu, tears streaking down his face without stop. "H-horo.." He choked out desperately.

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends

Never in his life had Horokue Usui seen such a strong shaman break down in tears. Yet alone his very own teammate. It scared him. Scared him stiff. And so he just stood there, frozen, obsidian eyes as wide as golf balls.

This didn't convince Ren that Horo even really wanted to help anymore. So he whipped himself back around with a defiant 'hmph' and ran off. The bluenette was shell-shocked long enough for the chinese to run out of sight and hide from him.

Once Horohoro snapped out of his state he cursed himself bitterly for being so surprised. Everyone cried. He was bound to see it some day, right? Shaking away the thought for the time being the Ainu raced off in the direction Ren had ran. Twisting and turning around every gravestone, looking, he felt as though he really was in some sort of maze. He was about to give up when he spotted a purple spike sticking out from the top of a gravestone. With a slowly growing smirk Horo waltzed towards the marble stone.

"Renny! I didn't mean to just stare. Please, talk to me!" The blue-haired ice shaman whined childishly as he turned in front of the sitting Ren. He was sitting back against the headstone, knees curled to his chest and tear-stained face buried in his arms that rested upon his knees. He peered up slightly as the taller shaman spoke, but reburied his face once he was done.

"Leave me alone," He croaked through the thick fabric of his jacket sleeves. Horo, of course, wasn't going to leave and he knew that.

Instead he knelt down before the crying boy and took up a small, cold hand in his own warm one. He began patting that hand comfortingly, making Ren look up from his arms. His eyes were blood-shot and tiny tears were still trickling down his stained cheeks. He snivled softly before whispering something the Ainu boy missed.

Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Ren averted his gaze from Horo to his hand. The bigger hand was over his own, making it impossible to see how he shook. His golden tiger-like eyes shifted back to those charcoal colored eyes that were staring straight at him, begging him to speak.

"H-Horo..." He croaked once more. He really wanted the blunette to leave. He was making him feel awkward, but he couldn't find it in himself to say it. "Go a-away," He stuttered half-heartedly.

The taller boy didn't show any sign of surprisement, he just continued patting that hand. He could feel the stare the other shaman was giving him, however, he took the risk and just went about his business. "It's okay, Renny," the ice shaman cooed softly; comfortingly, "I know what you're going through."

This instantly grabbed Ren's attention. How would Horohoro, Mr. Optimistic, now how he was feeling? He didn't believe it.

Horo got the hint and smiled lightly. "Don't believe me, eh?" He chuckled softly, "I've gone through the same thing when my grandpa died. I was little when he passed away, but I got it eventually. Boy, I cried all day and night. Still do when I think too much of him. He was the best grandparent known to Hokkaido! Nice, funny, playful; me and Pirika loved going over to visit him. But after he left us it was hard; real hard." As he went on his voice got softer and sadder; almost to the point where it was barely above a whisper.

Suddenly, as if on some instinct, the chinese shaman drew up his hand and wiped away the small tear that had seeped out the corner of the bluenette's eye.

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

"Point is," The Ainu laughed back his tears, "I'm here for you. Always have been; always will be."

He kept his composure well, blinking back any other tears that threatened to spill. Though, pictures of his late grandfather swam around in his head, invading his every thought. He tried; he really did, but soon he couldn't keep them back. Horohoro began crying silently, his broad shoulders shaking with every racked breath he took. He didn't mean for this to happen, but he just couldn't contain it.

Ren watched the whole thing silently. He knew exactly what happened, but he didn't know any way he could comfort the bluenette. He'd never had to before.

He had come to the cemetery to get away and wallow in his own sadness in secret, but then the ice shaman had come. And since Ren was the first to explode into tears wasn't he suppose to be receiving comfort? Not vise versa. Of course, he really didn't want the comfort in the first place, but you get what he means.

The chinese shaman contemplated a second; inspecting every detail that was appearing before him and what had already appeared. His blue-haired teammate was still bawling into his hands and showed no sign of stopping soon. Hesitantly, Ren picked his hand up from the ground and began gingerly rubbing the taller boy's back.

No words came from his mouth as he continued his unnatural gesture of kindness. Eventually, Horohoro's sobs ceased and his racked breath slowly became even. His eyes were still leaking out small, salty drops of bodily fluid, but he was on the verge of ending.

The golden tiger-eyed shaman kept rubbing the thick fabric of the Ainu's snow jacket, unknowingly whispering comforting words to calm the other. "Sh'sh," He breathed softly against the afternoon's frigid air, "It's okay.. It's okay.."

After a few more minutes passed, Horohoro slowly regained his normal persona.

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong we move along
Along, along, along

"T-thanks Ren-ny," The Ainu sniffled, brushing away the trails his tears had left behind when they streamed down.

Ren just nodded silently, withdrawing his hand back to his side. He leaned back against the gravestone as he watched the bluenette wipe his face free of tears, a sad smile on his lips. How he longed to fix and make that smile genuine again.

Suddenly Horohoro jumped to his feet, a smile somewhere between fake and genuine plastered on his face. He held out a warm hand to Ren who accepted it and was helped to his feet. Then without a word, Horo strolled off, in the direction of Jun's grave. Curiously the chinese followed after him.

It was barely a minute when the two shamans stepped up to the marble grave. The Ainu stared intently at the sculpted block of swirled grey marble as the chinese shaman stared down saddly at the grass under his shoes.

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

Ren slowly lifted his head, chancing to sneak a look at his Ainu friend. The ice shaman was smiling. Smiling knowingly down at the grave and at the chinese beside him. Abruptly he turned to face the shorter boy, grinning down at him. "Okay, let's go!"

The Kwan Dao wielder just stared curiously as the bluenette started walking away. After seeing the Ainu not stopping nor turning around to see if he had followed he slowly started after him. They walked out of the cemetery gates and began down the sidewalk in silence.

"Where are you going?" Ren asked hesitantly.

Horohoro turned his head to look at his chinese teammate. "Hi-mi-tsu!"(1) He grinned childishly, wagging his finger about, and contintued down the street's sidewalk.

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

After many, seemingly never ending minutes, the blue-haired Ainu stopped at a store, thrusting his arms up in the air and waving them excitedly. "We're here!" He chimed happily.

Ren stepped to the ice shaman's side and stared up at the white sign framed with multi-colored roses. "Mito-san's Flower Boutique" it read. The chinese rose a slender purple eyebrow and turned to his companion. "What are we doing here?"

The bluenette wasn't shocked as he just grinned wider. "To get some flowers, duh," He replied and skipped into the small store sandwiched between two bigger buildings. The other hesitantly followed.

As Ren stepped into the store he realized no difference in temperature. Both inside and outside were the same; cold and still. Every wall but the one he stepped pass was filled with many different species of flowers. One side was lined with buckets of individual flowers so that you could make your own bouquet, and the other sides were rowed with pre-made bouquets. Near the back sat a bored looking woman behind a counter, a cash register at her side.

Looking around again he spotted Horohoro inspecting a bouquet of flowers very intently. He walked over to him, arms crossed arrogantly. "What are we doing here?" He questioned in a stern, hushed voice.

The other turned to him and stared confused as though the shorter boy had just spoken in some foreign language he didn't know. "I thought I told you," He finally spoke, a slight pout clear in his childish voice, "To get flowers!"

"For whom?"

"For Jun of course," He replied and turned back to inspecting the bouquet.

The chinese stared, slightly startled. Why would you get flowers for the dead? He shook the question away and hesitantly started to the wall of individual flowers.

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

Gingerly he pulled purple freesias, white star of bethlehems, and small yellow waxflowers from their little buckets and awkwardly situated them together in a bouquet. He took plastic wrapping displayed at the side of the many buckets and wrapped it semi-tightly around the flowers' green stocks. Turning around he found Horo smiling down at him, a small bouquet of multi-colored zinnias surrounded by a thin circle of baby's breath in his hand.

Catching Ren's look the Ainu held up the bouquet. "They're zinnias," He explained, "In the language of the flowers they mean 'in memory of an absent friend'. And with the baby's breath around them they're saying that the friend is pure and innocent." He smiled widely and walked over to the counter, an amused chinese following after him.

Unfortunately the shorter shaman had to pay because Horohoro realized he didn't have hardly enough money. So as Ren paid for the two bouquets the bluenette wandered the shop like an impatient child. When the flowers were paid for the golden-eyed boy took them in his hands and turned to find his companion eyeing a stand of candy conveniently placed beside the register. Waving a hand without looking, the ice shaman told Ren to go ahead while he bought himself some sugary treats.

So the chinese left the boutique and waited patiently outside the window, watching passersby passing by. After a couple lonely minutes his Ainu teammate came out, eating hungrily at a small pack of orange chocolate pocky. Pausing, he held one out to him. "Want one?"

"I prefer strawberry," Ren answered almost automatically.

Horohoro just shrugged it off and finished his pocky as they started towards the cemetery, throwing the trash in a garbage can.

Right back what is wrong
We move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

Upon entering the cemetery Horo led the both of them towards Tao Jun's grave. Gently the ice shaman layed his bouquet of flowers at the feet of the gravestone. He stood back up and looked over at the chinese expectantly.

Ren blinked up at obsidian eyes then down at the flowers upon the cool ground. Hesitantly he bent over and rested his hand-picked bouquet next to his teammate's. This received him a giant grin from the bluenette as he straightened back up.

"Now put your hands together like this-" Horo showed the shorter shaman his hands that were pressed together in front of his chest. "-and repeat after me. Dear Great Spirit.."

The chinese eyed his companion with an eyebrow raised before reluctantly following his orders. Pressing his hands flat against each other he mumbled softly, "Dear Great Spirit.."

"Please lend me your ear so that I may ask to speak with Tao Jun."

"Please.. lend me your ear so that I may ask to.. speak with Tao Jun?"

"Now close your eyes!" The Ainu ordered. Ren complied with a sigh. "Now picture Jun, and repeat after me. Jun.."

"'Nee-san," The chinese shaman half corrected, half greeted the image in his mind.

With a slight pout in his voice, Horo continued, "'Sup?"

The purple-haired boy's golden eyes snapped open and gave the bluenette a quizzical look. "'Sup?" He asked disbelievingly, "That's not even a real word Ainu-baka!"

"Is so!" The Ainu argued, "It's the combonation of what's and up!"

"Then why can't you just say 'What's up'!"

"Because it's too long!"

Ren just grunted angrily and returned to his praying, talking in his mind. The ice shaman just watched, a small smile gracing his peach lips.

Right back what is wrong
We move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When the chinese boy was done, his eyes opened and he stared longingly down at the grave. Horohoro believed it the perfect timing as he whipped out something from behind his back and gently tapped Ren's shoulder. As the boy turned around, the older held out a bright yellow flower that closely resembled a daffodil to him.

Pale, slender fingers reached up and brushed against the other's as they gingerly took the flower's leafy green stock. A heavy pink blanketed the bluenette's cheeks as he stared nervously at the grass beneath him. "I-it's a jonquil," The Usui stuttered, his blush becoming heavier as he looked up into golden eyes, "I-it m-means desire, l-love me, desire for affection, returned affection.."

Tao Ren stared down at the plant in his hands, his own soft blush transparent. Slowly; very slowly a small smile spread across his face as he watched the flourished flower in his fingers. Suddenly he thrusted his hand towards the bluenette, the jonquil limping with the motion.

The Ainu's obsidian eyes looked down in confusion and hurt. Rejection flashed in the back of his mind as he hestiantly took back the single flower with shaky fingers. The other's hand didn't retreat though. It traveled up to Horo's face and cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing back and forth to a slow beat.

Black and gold came as level as they could with the chinese on his toes and lips came in close contact. It was short and simple and slightly unsure, but he loved it.

The shorter shaman fell back on his heels and lowered his head to cover his embarrassment. He managed to summon back his courage and slowly looked up. He was frozen, but realization suddenly dawned on him. His Ainu teammate had swooped in for another, assured kiss to which he wasn't responding. That was quickly changed.

Seconds, minutes, both passed until the two shamans both desperately needed breath. Panting was the only way to install such desperate chunks of oxygen back into their lungs so the two took up doing so. When inhaling and exhaling became slowly even, Ren looked up at the bluenette.

"The flower," He whispered, pointing at the semi-squashed plant in Horohoro's hand, "I returned it."

The ice shaman snapped, suddenly getting why Ren had returned it in the first place. Then he began laughing, nervously, yet happily. The chinese stared at him in disbelief.

"You can be such a idiot," He complained as the said "idiot" hooked his arm through his folded arms and started dragging him away.

And somewhere in the sky, on a cloud, Tao Jun watched her brother, an elegant smile spread on her lips.

Right back what is wrong
We move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)


Yay! It took Kiari-san a looooong time to complete this! -furrowing brows and pouting- She had many ideas, but at times she just couldn't seem to be able to write/type 'em down. She had to ask help of her sister at times even! But, hey, she's finished it alas! Her first song-fic! Yatta! She hopes you enjoyed.

(1) Himitsu- Secret

Flames are ignored, constructive criticism is highly appreciated, and praise is great for Kiari-san's ego!