Dear Diary,

I think I am falling. And falling hard.

I couldn't be though. How can I be in love with two guys at once? Or maybe it's not love. Perhaps it's infatuation – but with which one? I've known Henry the longest, but I guess that doesn't matter in the long run. I feel a strong connection with Gio though, one that I don't have with Henry. I guess that would be chemistry, or is just a crush? Am I just being swept off my feet by the thought of Gio and everything about him, or by the actions that every man Henry should have?

Am I a terrible person for wanting Gio more than Henry? Is it wrong to think this way especially since Henry is still away on camp? Is this classed as cheating? Because I don't think I am. I'm simply hanging out with my best friend (yeah, you heard me, bff!) and developing deep feelings for him. Wait – that's bad. I shouldn't be falling for my friend...nah it's alright, best friends usually end up marrying each other anyway. OMG what am I saying? Is my conscience really thinking that far ahead? WOW – I guess I've never really thought about my relationships to that extent. I always thought Henry and I would be together, but that would be about it; I didn't actually see it going past a boyfriend/girlfriend stage. On the other hand with Gio, there is something very mature about him, and can imagine a future with him. (note to self: don't ever tell Gio about this!)

Anyway, enough about futures, we're in the now and I'm love! I have decided since starting this entry that that's how I feel. Dilemma now stands at being, do I break up with Henry and pursue Gio; or see how Gio feels towards me or dump Henry anyway and see where things end up? So many decisions to make and I'm not sure what to do. If only I could ask Gio what he would do. Ahh, maybe I could, in around about way...hmm, I'll think about it. The only thing I know for certain is that I want to be with Gio (well I want other things from him too, but I wouldn't dare write them here!) ;)

"B" is what Gio is now calling me. He's never called me anything else, until today. Walking into homeroom, he came up to our desks and said "Hey B" with his charming smile, as he sat down. I couldn't help the smile that now appeared on my face, and I couldn't remove it fast enough either! He asked me why I was grinning like an idiot and my mouth spoke faster than my mind could lie! So out came the words, "I missed you" to which my right hand quickly covered my mouth and my expression became mortified – not that anyone could tell from the primary red colour of my face! How embarrassing! He didn't seem that disturbed by the outburst (even though I was!) especially from the chuckling he was trying to contain! However, for the rest of the day, he was giving me glances during classes and smiling – but it was a smile that was trying to stop laughter from spilling out!

So I dunno...was he laughing at me? At the idea of me missing him? At the idea of me liking him, and hoping the feeling was mutual? Oh I don't know...I give up for tonight. Why do boys have to be so difficult?! Argh!

Oh yeah, Henry's still on math camp. I got a postcard from him today – whoopdidoo!

B (still missing Gio)

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Ugly Betty – characters : ABC Studios

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