Teddy Bear

"Annie?" Auggie asked from the bedroom as he was unpacking some of Annie's things. She was in the process of moving in with him. The whole ordeal was taking longer than Auggie thought it would, but much of that was due to Annie being sent on a week-long mission to Spain and then another to Germany. But finally, they both were off for the weekend and committed to finishing the moving process. Annie had just returned with another load of boxes from Danielle's. Auggie had been putting Annie's clothes away when he found an item he wasn't sure what to do with.

"Yeah?" Annie said sliding the front door closed as she finished bringing in the last box from this load.

"What's this?" He held up the mystery item as he heard her come in the bedroom.

"Oh. Umm, that's just an old trinket from our travels when we were younger." She said walking over to take it from him. Her dismissive tone on the object sounded off to Auggie.

"Oh, I see. What exactly is it?" He said still holding it. As he continued exploring it with his hands, he knew it was some sort of stuffed animal, possibly a dog or cat.

"It's just an old stuffed bear. I got her when I was four. I'm not sure where we were living when I got her, but she was always with me." Annie said almost embarrassed. But Auggie sense something else in her voice, sadness or regret perhaps.

"Well, just by the tone in your voice, I know this is more than just 'an old stuffed bear'. What does it look like?" Auggie asked still holding the bear. It seemed old and worn in his hands. Its soft texture was comforting in his fingertips.

"She's a pale yellow and white. She has beady black eyes. She's quite tattered and has some stains on her. Some of the velvety, orange-ish cloth on her nose has come off as well as the orange colored leathery patches that are on her paws. She's just special to me, that's all. Now can I please have my teddy bear?" Annie said tugging gently at the bear he was holding.

"Of course, but I want to know more about it. I sense a story goes with her." He said as he released the bear to Annie. He then made his way down the steps from the bedroom toward the couch in the living room, taking cautious steps holding out his left hand for obstacles. He was sure Annie put the boxes out of his walking paths, but he still wanted to be cautious until everything was unpacked and settled.

"Now, take a break and tell me more about this bear." Auggie instructed playfully towards the bedroom.

"There's not much to tell Auggie." Annie said trying to get the topic to be dropped. Still holding onto the bear, she stopped in the kitchen for two beers from the fridge before heading to the living room.

Annie tapped the cold beer to the back of Auggie's hand as she sat down on the couch and continued talking. "I got her when I was about four years old." She answered realizing he was not going to let it go.

"Why have you kept her for so long? Oh, and why is it a her, why not a him?" Auggie asked curiously. He did not know her to keep things like this. She was a spy. Spies didn't get attached to materials objects because there really was no telling when you'd just have to pick up and go, leaving everything behind.

"Well, it's a girl because her name is Alexis. She's named after her previous owner." Annie said cryptically.

"Previous owner? Okay, you're not telling me something. Spill the beans, Walker." Auggie said putting his beer on the coffee table and searching for her hand. "Like I said, I sensed a story with that bear. It has history. Now, spill. Why do you still have a 25 year old bear?"

Annie took a deep breath and repositioned herself on the couch. With her legs crossed under her and the bear resting on her thigh, she scooted closer to Auggie, placing her hands in his. "Auggie, I'll tell you think, but I'll prefix it by saying, this isn't the happiest of stories."

"Okay." Auggie said, interest peeked. Annie didn't often talk about serious things from her past; in fact neither of them did really.

"Alexis Bear belonged to my sister." She stated after a sigh.

"Ummm, Walker, your sister's name is Danielle." Auggie interrupted.

"Yes I know Auggie. Let me finished." Annie said taking another deep breath. This wasn't something she talked about often and she hadn't expected to have this conversation with Auggie for a while. "Alexis Bear belonged to my sister, Alexis. She died before she was two years old. This was the bear I picked for her from the hospital gift shop right after mom had her. After Alexis died, I asked mom if I could have it. I have had her ever since. It's my most treasured object."

"Annie, how could you have a sister you never told me about? How'd she die?" Auggie said a little stunned.

"Auggie, I don't like talking about it." She began slowly. He gripped her hands tighter in his own to let her know he was completely focused on her. "She drowned one September evening. We were at a neighbor's house. Our parents were out of town and we had been staying with the neighbor for the weekend. I was playing ball with Danielle in their backyard. The neighbors were grilling dinner on the back deck. They had an above ground pool. Apparently Alexis climbed the ladder and sank to the bottom. As Danielle threw the ball close to the pool, I went to get it and I saw something in the pool. I yelled when I saw that it was Alexis. The neighbors were able get her heart going again, but the damage to her brain was too severe. They took her off life support three days later and I said good-bye to my baby sister." Annie sniffled out in explanation. She hated crying like this, but this was a powerful story that she kept locked away. The emotions that came with it were still raw and uncontrolled.

"Annie, come here." Auggie said bringing her in for a hug. After several minutes of just holding her, he said softly, "You know you can always tell me anything, right? I'll always listen. I'm sorry about your sister. I can't imagine losing one of my siblings." Auggie commented, "Now, where should we put Alexis Bear, she is special to you and deserves a distinctive place in our home."

"Auggie, you'll never see her. You don't have to indulge my childhood memories." Annie said wiping her tears.

"Nonsense, Alexis Bear is a vital part of who you are. I don't have to see the bear to know she is there. Auggie said first touching the bear Annie held in her lap and then running his hand up her arm to meet her face. Rubbing a tear away from her cheek he said "I've explored every inch of this bear and you've described her to me. It is as if I can see her. She's important to you, so she's important to me."

"Thank you Auggie. Thank you for understanding." She said as she got up from the couch. Auggie followed suit and they started walking around the apartment hand in hand, discussing possible places to memorialize Alexis Nicole Walker.