May 1982

"Kissing?" Joan was aghast. "He's six!"

Larissa nodded wearily. "Oh, if only that were it," she said, recounting the embarrassing phone call from the elementary school.

"There's more?" Not having yet experienced the joys of a first grade child, Joan was incredulous. Not that Pammy was always an angel, but at least there was no kissing – or more - on the school playground. Yet.

"Uh huh – Jimmy, don't put that in your mouth! Jimmy, no, yucky," she called over to where Jimmy and Pammy were playing on the grass by the slide.

The park was fairly quiet on a Tuesday afternoon, just a handful of parents with their children, a high school age couple ditching school to make out by the fountain, a woman in her late 20s reading alone on a bench, and on the far edge of the park, a middle aged man in a well-worn suit, miming playing the guitar and singing "Stairway to Heaven" to an audience of oddly shaped rocks he'd assembled. Larissa and Joan paid him no mind. Creed had been a staple in Scranton for years. He was eccentric but completely harmless.

"What else?" Joan asked.

Larissa sighed. "Apparently, there was an exchange of 'I show you mine, you show me yours' going on under the jungle gym with Sarah Ostrowski."

Joan chuckled a bit.

"It's not that I want them to feel ashamed," Larissa went on. "I don't want to teach my kids that the human body is something dirty; I don't believe that. It's just, there's a time and place, and Peter's almost seven. He should know better."

At two-and-a-half, however, Jimmy didn't know better. All he knew is that it was hot and his red corduroy overalls were itchy. He tugged on them, scowling at Pammy.

"Bad!" He announced.

The little girl swished her pigtails. She liked the red color of Jimmy's overalls and didn't think there was anything bad about them. She just wanted to keep playing with the funny brown things.

"Jimmy, play," Pammy commanded. She pushed a pinecone toward him. "Play Pammy."

Bored of the pinecones, however, Jimmy threw it with all his might, the object landing about 6 inches in front of them. He jumped up and ran in circles. Pammy jumped from her spot on the grass and chased him.

Jimmy was Pammy's favorite thing. She loved him more than she loved her Cabbage Patch doll, Amelia Janetta.

It was fun when Pammy ran after him, Jimmy thought. She was even more fun to play with than a Tonka truck. The most fun was when he got to play Tonka trucks with Pammy. Jimmy's overalls were still itchy.

The high school couple by the fountain had stopped making out and had starting fighting, loudly, using words not suitable for a park where children were playing. Joan and Larissa turned from their spot on the shared bench to glare disapprovingly at the teenagers.

When they turned back, they saw Jimmy's bare little behind as he ran toddingly after Pammy in her yellow sunsuit.

"Not again," Larissa groaned. "Jimmy!" She got up and jogged toward her son. "Jimmy, it's not naked time right now." She scooped up her child and his abandoned garments, carrying him back to the bench. Pammy trailed behind them.

"He's going through a naked phase," Larissa explained to Joan.

"Pammy's in her mini-fashionista phase," Joan replied. "The other night I couldn't get her to go to sleep until I put a ribbon in her hair." She pulled Pammy up on to her lap.

"No, bad. Jimmy don't like," he protested as his mother struggled to get his clothes back on. He squirmed like a baby eel.

Pammy saw no reason for Jimmy to be unhappy. "Jimmy don't like," she repeated. "No. No."

Joan hushed Pammy softly as Larissa pulled out the big guns.

"Jimmy, want to go to zoo? Want to see the grrrr tigers?" The zoo was only a few blocks away and guaranteed to win her son over.

"Grrrrrrrr!" Jimmy happily mimicked the tiger sound, barely noticing as Larissa tugged his training pants back on him.

"Grrrrrrrrr!" Pammy echoed as Joan bounced her.

With the promise of the zoo and the grrrr tigers, Jimmy allowed his mother to redress him with little protestations, as Pammy bounced on Joan's knee and sang.

"I be workin' on the raaaay ro all the ray ro raaaaay…"

"Jimmy!" Pammy yelled from her stroller.

The foursome was standing outside the monkey cage. Jimmy and Pammy were strapped into strollers as Larissa and Joan stood behind them.

"Jimmy!" Pammy yelled again, pointing at the baby chimpanzee with the protruding ears.

Joan flushed slightly and muttered an apology to Larissa, who waved it off. "He'll grow into them."

It was true that Jimmy's ears were a bit big for his head, but nothing terrible. It didn't help matters, however, when he pushed his upper lip forward with his tongue and puffed his cheeks out, making a monkey face like his big brother had taught him.

Pammy pointed at her friend and giggled delightedly as the mothers pushed the strollers along to the tiger cage.

As he looked at the animal, Jimmy pointed in boyish fascination. "Grrrrrr…." He piped up.

"Yes, Jimmy," Larissa agreed. "Grrrrrrr…..can you say tiger, Jimmy?"

"Ti-Grrrrrrrr," Jimmy announced proudly. Larissa and Joan clapped for him.

Not to be outdone, Pammy burst forth as well. She liked being clapped for too.

"Penis!" Pammy yelled, loud enough for the family over by the elephant cage, just behind them, to take note and turn around.

"Pamela!" Joan Beesly wasn't a prude, but she valued propriety and her toddler screaming words for genitals in public wasn't exactly her idea of thrilling behavior. "Pammy, I told you, that is not an outside voice word."

She turned to Larissa, who was barely holding in her laughter. "Ed's brother was in town last weekend with his kids and they thought it would be funny – do you think this is funny?" She was trying to be indignant but having trouble keeping a straight face at the tears now rolling down her friend's cheeks and the absurdity of it all.

"At least Pammy is just saying the word," Larissa pointed out through her laughter. "My kids apparently have a predilection for showing theirs off in public places."

By now, Joan was laughing too. Larissa kneeled in front of the stroller and shook her head at Jimmy.

"If you ever get arrested for indecent exposure," she informed her son, "I'm not fronting your bail money."

The two-year-old had no idea what the words his mommy was saying meant, but she was making a funny, happy face. Jimmy started laughing too, which set Pammy off.

She reached her hand out to Jimmy, who took it. The babies swung their hands together across the small space between the strollers.

"Oh, I'm a bad mother," Joan moaned. "Pammy, you're getting a talking-to when we get home."

Having had the experience of an older child, Larissa spoke rationally. "It's not that bad," she assured Joan. "Just think of all the other lovely words they'll grow up to learn how to say."

Joan moaned again. "Oh god, they are going to grow up, aren't they?"

Her friend nodded. "I'm afraid so."

In their strollers, Jimmy and Pammy blew wet raspberries at each other with glee.