A Fallacy

Chapter 4: Thinking at the Edge

A/N: Hello again here! Trying to write during school hectic days sure is something. Not to mention the writer block and stuffs...

Well moving on.

To the review from the willyrex, yes. Ethan will appear. Soon maybe in two chapter ahead? That's when the main story finally kicked in, I guess! hahah

and to Vijju123, thank you for your support!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own.


/ Fallacy: /ˈfaləsē/ a mistaken belief, especially one based on unsound argument. /


"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore" -L. Frank Baum

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I have to say, there were some baffling turn of events in the following days.

Remember where we were last time? I was kinda having the worst time of my life, ever. That's until Silver— and Erika, of course, turn the table. I won't lie, it felt like swimming among the clouds, but that didn't mean my disillusions were gone with the wind. I can't help but wonder just where...

Aaand I'm start with all those bad thoughts again. Just like some kind of hereditary disease, I just can't seem to get rid of it.

Anyhow then, this morning Hilda and Serena ran into me. Of course that stereotype plan involving Hilda's big day today was still on, so I make sure to kept a little distance.

Hilda suddenly hugged me and gave me the most uneasy look I've ever seen on her. "Happy birthday, Lyra dear!" she beamed. "My phoneerday, so sorry!"

Oh, is it? While, I'm pretty sure she's messaged me a fine day before to chat about something. But I just smiled on that. Anything could happen within a day. Standing beside her, Serena's face suddenly turned apologetic.

"Happy birthday… Ly. Sorry I forgot," she said sheepishly.

I frowned, but at least she was honest.

"No present for me, eh?" I joked. On that, they just shared a glance, and I know I shouldn't ask.

But it just wasn't fair. I brought Hilda a present today!

I guess there's no need debating over that, since I guess I already got the best birthday present yesterday. Just thinking about it made me smile like a lunatic that just got freed from an asylum. Thank God Serena and Hilda didn't see it!

The topic eventually changed, and I tried my best to catch up with Serena on making Hilda felt a little bit left out from us. Which was kind of hard, since Hilda's like our wheel.

"Is there something off with you guys today?" Hilda finally frowned at us.

"What do you mean—" Serena rolled her eyebrows, then suddenly the bell rang loudly, she immediately grab my arm. "Time to get to class, Soul! Let's move it."

We went on, leaving Hilda there, looking like a fool. When we're quite far away, Serena finally burst out her laughing. "It's funny to see Hilda like that!"

"Yeah, she's never the bullied one," I laughed along, but mine was a little bit wry.

As Serena and I walked in solitude to our respective classes, suddenly I felt a tug on my shoulder. I turned around right away, to find Erika was grinning in front of her classroom, cordially waved at me.

I gave her a genuine smile, but when I was about to wave back, suddenly I heard Serena spoke. "Why's that little antisocial twerp waving at us?"

Suddenly I froze. Erika stopped her gesture as well and glared at Serena— or me? Maybe, she was hinting I should say something, shut Serena's arrogant mouth maybe. I struggled inwardly that while Erika hadn't got the best reputation here in school, she shouldn't be called names. But I didn't do or say anything. I know it was a horrible thing to do— but my brain and ego got ahead of my consciousness.

"No idea."

That's what I whispered to Serena. After that I tried to accelerate my pace, while I'm pretty sure Erika didn't hear what I said, I just can't bring myself to forget the the confused yet offended look on Erika's face.

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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILDA!"

It was really hectic. In the school yard, Serena started to pick a food fight using the cake she and I bought using our money, and now almost half of the school joined it. Well, Hilda was one of the popular girls in school, so it made sense.

As the party had paid off, I flicked the last whipped cream at the birthday's girl cheek. After that Hilda lowered her face for a while, then suddenly she burst into tears.

"Oh my god, Hilda!" I nearly screamed. "What's wrong?"

"No… I'm just so touched…" Hilda wiped off the tears from her cream-grubby face. "You guys were totally an ass today. I'm guessing some sort of surprise, but not this big— this fun!"

I smiled, from my heart, at that, fishing out a beautiful pink bracelet with a green tie on the top and put it on her palms. "Happy birthday, sweet chick."

Hilda eyes widened, and she hugged me tightly. "Thank you, thank you!" her eyes began to water again. "I didn't even got you anything!"

I tried to ignore as it irked me, so in turn I just smile instead. "Why think about that? Unnecessary."

"You are really kind, you know?" Hilda laughed. "Serena gave me this adorable sweater, and Hilbert was just the cutest as always. He gave me a flower bucket that he made himself!"

"Really? That's so sweet," I mused. Who knew after their fifteenth-maybe-break up Hilbert actually turned serious and mature.

When will it happen to me, huh? The moment that thought came over to me, I pushed it right away. It's a glorious day. I shouldn't get gloomy as hell now.

"Oh. My. God," Hilda gasped. I reverted my attention to her, she was staring intently at her cellphone. "Serena snapchat this to me." I took that thing from her hand, and my eyes widened as well. "Can you believe it? That's Calem driving our Serena home!"

"No way," I studied that photo. "They maybe best buddies in social media, but in real life—" but picture showed more than thousand words. Serena took a candid picture, sitting beside Calem who's on the steering wheel.

"I sense something might happen, something we waited long enough!" Hilda giggled.

"I hope so," I smiled, Serena had fancied Calem for as long as I could remember, and lately Calem seemed to return her feelings. So it's natural if one day it might actually turned out to be true. I'll be glad as well.

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My homework was half-finished when boredom got the best of me, and I grabbed my cellphone like my life depended on it.

I'm a human-being too, after all.

There's a hundred message from Hilda and Serena. It inquired me and I open it right away. My eyes widened in surprise as Serena happily capslocked the two of us, telling that Calem asked her out just the moment she's about to get of his car, and kissed her.

I urged Serena to tell me all about the details, how did it feel and etc. I actually cared about her, not just plain curious. She told me pages of how Calem looked at her eyes, reached out his hand, and stuffs like that.

After she's done, I rested my head on the wall. Now, finally it's only me who was relationshipless. I'm not complaining, but looks like another year here going to be so tough.

Sometimes, I couldn't help but hope high school would come faster. The best four years of your life, people said.

It's unfair how Serena got so lucky, got the boy she wanted that smoothly. While me? I even barely had a boy even look to my direction.

Since there's no one to talk to, I just kept scrolling and scrolling my phone, to try to distract myself from inkling anything ill. But still, feeling a little bit empty. Thinking about it, I don't know why lately I put that thing closer to me than usual, hoping messages from someone would arrive.

Okay. That guy.

Today I didn't see him at all, since I have no math today. I just wanted to talk to him— nothing much, just a small talk would me more than enough. But really, I just can't.

But.

When I deleted the message I've typed to him, I accidentally press the send button.

Left me to send a 'Hi there' to him.

"Shit!" Just that time I felt like my heart going to suffocate at any moment. Can life be any worse than this?

There's no undoing that though. So five minutes… ten minutes to half an hour passed without a reply.

He maybe already asleep. Or his phone was confiscated. Or silent, or turned off. Or, he was simply ignoring.

I tried to shift my mind to anything else. Then, something struck my mind that I held back from turning it off, that little 'incident' this morning. I searched Erika's contact, and messaged her. It was a simple 'Sorry for what Serena said, her mouth can be a little foul sometimes. You're nothing like she said, please don't take it to the heart. xx'

I held my breath as I press the send button. Five minutes later, a reply finally arrived. 'It's fine, I'm used being talked down like that. I know I'm not like what people said, so I don't listen to them. What I don't understand is, how can you stuck up with them?'

how can you stuck up with them?

I've been soundlessly asking that question to myself for a long time. I don't even know the answer, so I just told her that live sucks. Feeling trapped within your own shadow and your two prominent friends.

She wrote a sincere reply. 'This is your life, Ly, you shouldn't let other people control it for you. You should just do what make you happy, you're the one who know it, not the other. If you're so fed up, you should start stay away from those two.'

Oh how I wish life would be that simple.

I tried, you know? I tried to remote myself and join another clique of friends. But you know what? They already established their own line and secrets, that I can't help but fall each time I tried to climb that wall.

Yes, I'm so fed up. But this time I don't have the choice. I didn't think Erika would understand it either. Feeling wamble, I just thanked Erika and excuse myself to sleep.

Life could be a field of rainbows, or pieces of shit.

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I grumpily reached my bed covers to let myself actually rest, but then my phone suddenly ring. I would've ignored it if it's a message notification, it was probably Hilda or Serena. But now somebody is calling me. Could it be Mom? Hadn't she come back from the grocery?

Silver.

That's a sole name which was written on the screen. What the actual hell… why was he calling me for? I steadied my breath, and actually counted that I answered at the fifth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"What… is it?" I asked nervously.

His voice was as heavy as usual, but something about it was so melodious. "You texted me."

Oh, THAT. "It's nothing… you don't have to call," I feel blush rising to my face.

"Hmm," he only hummed. "You okay there?"

How come he always knew when to ask that? "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

I could hear him chuckle a little bit. It was rare. "You could call that an intuition."

After that it was silence for a while. I don't know what to talk about, and he seemed to not interested to pull up another topic. I feel panic, it was really lousy, I don't want to be thought as an awkward little crank!

"So…" I said, without knowing what else to say.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing, really…"

After that it was serene again. Every second just felt so long and torturing.

Way to go, Lyra.

"I'm not actually okay," I said, sighing. I don't know what came into me, but suddenly I spoke up. It even surprise myself how my voice automatically spoke up itself. The latter I went on to tell him everything. Literally everything. My conversation with Erika, I ended up telling him what's piling up my heart this year, how sometimes I felt so stupid holding onto nothing but momentary blithe, and mostly pain being not accounted for. Something I just couldn't tell Erika because not wanting to burden her or making myselffeel lot more pathetic than ever. But everything just fell in place there with him.

Or how Serena and Calem, life seemed so easy for both of them. While it's like I have to get through a rocky river each day of my life.

I was running out of breath the moment I finished my little tale. Silver was quiet the whole time, but I knew he was listening. I didn't realize it, I hadn't vented myself out this lengthy to anybody that tears even began to form in my eyes without I even knowing.

"I don't really know what to say," then he said, finally. His voice was a little hesitant.

I immediately argued, "No, I don't expect any response—"

"But let me tell you this," he said it, emphasizing every word. "You should just do what felt right to you. You keep continue being buddies with them or not, don't let it affect your life. Just stick to yourself."

I was surprised to hear him talk this long, but then I replied weakly, "How could I do that?"

"It's not about being sellfish. It's about respecting yourself," he answered softly. The way he said it, bring warmth to my cheeks. "Don't let other people stand in front of you. Make sure you stand beside them."

Don't let other people control you.

There's already to people today that told me that. "I'll try," I half-lied. "Thank you… thank you so much for listening to me."

"No problem," he waved it off. "The real reason I actually call you…" this perked me up. "Why don't you go outside?"

My heart stopped for a second.

"You're outside?" I almost shouted as I frantically searched for a hand-mirror. Oh Dear God, how do I look right now?

"Huh, what?" his voice turned confused himself. "Of course I'm not. I'm out of town this whole week."

That explain why I didn't even see his mob of red hair today. Embarrassment had already ate me up whole that time. How could I childishly assume… I must've read too much fiction lately.

"Okay then."

"You're already outside?"

I hopped from my bed and quietly walked out of the house, careful not to wake up Dad. "On my way," I took a breath as I opened the front door. "What now?"

"Check your mail box."

My pulse raced a little bit as I sappily ran to my mailbox and swung it open. There was a box covered in simple brown wrapping paper. There's an address stuck out above it, it was Silver location right now.

"A late birthday present," I almost forgot the phone was still on. "I just remembered it, happened to pass it by and thinking it would suit you."

I carefully tear the paper, to find a lovely small horse-shaped wood carving there. Somehow, my eyes were getting watery again.

"I don't… I don't know how to thank you," I whispered with a shaky voice.

"Just a simple thanks would have sufficed," he chuckled, as if he knew my expression right now.

Why are you so kind? "Well... thanks again."

Silver paused for a moment. I can sense a strain in his voice. Was he in trouble?... "Listen, Lyra," then he spoke up.

I straightened up. Did he just call my name? It was the first time…

"I actually wanted to tell you," he said it, slowly. "That I—"

Then he paused. God knows how much I gravely waited the next words he never said.

"What is it, Silver?"

"Nevermind," he quickly cover it up. "Nothing."

"You're making me curious."

He laughed, a little but a cute one. "Then wait until I get back."

I raised an eyebrow. "Wait for what?"

"Something, I want to talk about."

Finally I smiled. Whatever it is, if it's important or just a simple 'hi', I would've be there if he asked me for. I don't know what in the world I'm actually feeling right now—having a boy best friend for a first time?—but I like that feeling.

But of course I would not say it all out loud. So along with good night, I just told him, "Yeah, okay, I'll wait for it."

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TO BE CONTINUED


A/N: That's all now!

I intended to keep it below 2000 words, but it kind of exploded I guess..

Well, see you again. Review please?