Drabble 004:
Compromised By The Heart
Watching James being dragged off by SHIELD agents does something to Natasha, as Steve stands next to her, shaking slightly from the exertion of the fight. She remembers, at, one time, she would have run off and killed anyone who had ever dared to apprehend him and successfully render him useless to himself while his enemies advanced upon him.
But she stays put, and watches, like a hawk, as he is dragged towards the barricade of SHIELD agents, who all have their weapons trained on him. If she had still been in Russia, if she had still been working for the Russians, if she had still been working with the Winter Soldier, she would have killed everyone without a single thought, because she's never seen him so helpless against his adversaries before.
His eyes are on her, before he disappears into the crowd of agents, with Fury among them somewhere, and she struggles, just for a moment, with the person she used to be, the person she buried long ago, after she was given her second chance.
She as to make herself believe that the relationship they'd had together, seemingly so long ago, means nothing to her now. It can't mean anything; if it does, that means she's compromised. And she can't be compromised. Not today. Not now. Not here. Not when Steve is standing by her side, looking defeated, looking like he'd lost the battle between him and James.
It's probably because James still doesn't remember him. It makes Natasha's heart do a funny, painful little thing, like someone's yanked open her rib cage and gotten a hold of her beating heart, if only for a second. He doesn't remember his best friend from the Second World War, but he remembers her. And she knows she saw a look of betrayal flash in his eyes before his expression had hardened into something much, much more alarming as he'd disappeared into the sea of SHIELD's top agents.
Hopefully, he'll see - one day - that she's changed, for good. She hopes for this. And at the same time, she knows - she knows - that hoping for anything isn't what she's supposed to be doing.
But she can't help it.
She's been compromised, and no one can find out - no matter what.
They can't.
