Riley had a good head start, and was already flagging down a boat by the time he heard me running up behind him, panting like a dog on a summer day. His eyes narrowed, and his voice was like steel.
"Go home, little baby Roarkie, I'm finished with your bipolar fits of stupidity," he said loudly. A few of the fishermen nearby looked up. I stopped in my tracks, realizing everyone in this town knew my father and I, and probably Riley as well.
"Riley..." I reached out to grab his arm, but he pulled away. I slumped over, still out of breath. "Please... come back home... I wanna... talk to you..."
"I'm going home NOW," Riley snuffed me out, turning his nose back to the docks. The ferry to Iron Island was nearing land. I stood tall then, crossing my arms.
"I'm gonna get on that boat, then."
Riley turned to glare at me. Now that I could see his eyes for a longer period of time, it was obvious how red and puffy they were. I bit my lip to avoid making fun of him for having a hissy fit.
"Come on, Riley. I want to apologize to you properly." I paused. "And to my Dad. Okay?"
"And five seconds later start to scream at us." Riley was refusing to look at me again. "After I supported you... you don't even know how much I've gone through to help your father understand you and Volkner... I regret ever helping. I should have just let nature run its course."
I winced. Had he really gone to that much trouble? "Riley... I'm sorry... I want to apologize for real, I feel really bad... so come back..." I reached for his arm again, and this time he let me grab it. Maybe it was due to the hint of tears forming in my eyes now. "Please. I don't wanna talk about this here." I glanced nervously at the fishermen again. They were smirking now. The last thing I needed was for my Dad's grisly old friends to find out he had his eye on Riley, the finest dressed man in Canalave.
"Fine." Riley's arm went slack in my hand. "Fine, I'll go. But for your father's sake, not yours."
I winced and let Riley go as we began walking back to the house. I noticed he was acting fidgety, straightening his hat and necklace three times before I dared to speak.
"What are you doing?"
He stared straight ahead. "I look like shit. I didn't have any time to fix my hair or do my makeup, I barely even looked in a mirror this morning."
"So?"
"SO," Riley sighed so exasperatedly I almost giggled. "You're forcing me to go back and parade around in front of Byron in this state-"
"Dad doesn't give a crap if you-"
"I give a crap, Roark!" Riley smacked me on the back of the head and I stumbled forward a few steps. It didn't upset me though - on the contrary, I felt better. Riley always smacked me that way, since we were little. "I like to look well dressed and properly groomed, unlike your father and yourself, I prefer to comb my hair and to not have dirt under my fingernails. I don't even want to think about what sort of state your house would be in if I didn't come clean it all the time. I shudder to think of how filthy you would have been growing up. At least you wash out your uniform, Byron hasn't bought a new outfit in a decade-"
"-then you ought to take him shopping," I suggested with a shrug.
Riley turned to me, raising one eyebrow. "Creepy."
"What?"
"You sounded just like Byron right then." And he went silent at that, folding his arms behind his back as he walked, probably to stop himself from fidgeting. I had no idea what he meant for a whole five minutes - then, with a jolt, it hit me that I'd just responded exactly as my father would have, ignoring everything but the last bit of a long rant.
"Well, I'd rather sound like him, than like you," I replied softly. Riley looked at me, his eyebrow still raised. I smiled a little. "Whining about not being properly groomed... oh, I've broken a nail! Oh, my makeup is leaking! Oh, my hat isn't sitting at just right jaunty angle I prefer it to be sitting at-"
"Oh, I can talk to fossils, they are telling me of their magical ancient life, even though they are dead dumb rocks!" Riley proclaimed, throwing his arms into the air. I frowned.
"Hey, I really can talk to-"
Ohmigosh! I found a fossil, and it's telling me to rush to Sunyshore City and hump the hell out of its Gym Leader! I'd better hurry, but I have to keep acting like an innocent little boy who isn't actually constantly having kinky phone sex-"
I gasped. "HOW - WHAT - how did you know that I-"
Riley roared his head off laughing. "I GUESSED, but you just confirmed, thank you, Roarkie."
I started to scowl, but then we stopped walking - my Dad stood up ahead of us, leaning on the front door of the house and looking thoroughly sleepy and grumpy.
"You two appear to have reaffirmed your love for one another," he grunted.
I rushed forward, throwing my arms around my father and burying my face in his shoulder. He merely grunted again, patting me on the back a little.
"Yeah, yeah, I got it, get offa me, boy."
I looked up at him, smiling, and I felt ten years old once more. He rolled his eyes a little, wrapping an arm around my neck and dragging me into the house, Riley following and closing the door behind us. I continued to cling to him, albeit choking slightly. He let me go on the couch, and I coughed, then smiled up at him again.
"Dad, it's okay... Riley was already my mommy all along, so if you want to consummate your-"
"Riley is not your mother, boy!" Dad roared. "I'm tired of hearing you make fun of him - you watch your mouth before I wash it out with soap."
Riley blushed a little, behind my Dad. I grinned. "Aw gee Dad, I'm not making fun of Riley. Or you. I just love you both so much and want you to be happy." I pressed my palms together, smiling nervously. "I mean it. Okay? I'm sorry - for how I acted. I won't do it again."
Dad stared at me long and hard. He stared at me until I started to grow nervous, knowing he was about to yell or do something crazy. I suddenly missed my helmet very very badly.
"Riley!" He yelped. Riley looked startled.
"Byron?"
"Get over here," Dad growled. Riley and I both gulped. What was he going to do? He wouldn't stop staring at me intensely. Riley stood next to my Dad, peering at him nervously. He placed a small, pale hand on my Dad's massive arm.
"What's wrong?"
Dad seemed to be preparing himself mentally for something. I was about to speak, but he suddenly grabbed Riley's arm and swung the smaller man around so they were facing each other, then dipped him down, kissing him full on the lips. Riley squeaked in surprise, his face turning a deep shade of pink, but he looked happier than ever, and wrapped his arms around my Dad's neck.
I stared.
I twitched.
I swallowed hard, inching away from the scene bit by bit, my butt scooting over the couch cushion. I saw my Dad's eye look at me and stopped squirming.
I forced a little smile onto my face.
"Heh."
Okay, you can stop now. Jesus christ.
After what felt like thirty or so hours, my Dad straightened up, Riley's mostly limp body drooped in his arms. Riley made another small squeaking sound, then snapped himself out of it, using my Dad's chest to claw his way back into a standing position. I realized then that he probably forgot I was there, as he wrapped his thin arms around my Dad's neck, nuzzling into his beard.
"Oh, Byron, that was really sexy..."
My Dad coughed loudly, still staring hard at me. Riley blinked, then yelped, turning to face me as well. I still had the little forced grin on my face.
Only I realized then...
it was no longer a forced grin.
"Well," I said loudly, pushing up from the couch, "I'm here in Canalave till tomorrow morning, but I've just realized I've got a very important date...uh... training out in the woods, for oh... about three hours." I coughed, then headed for the door, my Dad and Riley looking incredibly confused behind me. "Three hours," I said again, loudly, "I'll walk back through this door, yep, until then, bye."
Before I closed the door, I saw a flicker of realization in the form of a twitchy smile forming on Riley's face. My Dad still looked clueless as ever, but I felt sure he wouldn't be clueless in another minute or so.
I headed out for the woods, but I didn't really plan to train. I whipped out my cellphone, dialing my most overused speedial.
"Hey... Volkner! Are you busy? I've got a really crazy story to tell you..."
END
