DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'Soul Eater'. All rights belong to Okubo Atsushi. I also do not own any of the songs referenced. All rights belong to their respective owners. I only own this fanfiction. Thank you.

NOTE: Mild references to alcohol, previous underage drinking and extramarital affairs.

Gimme Shelter

"So, if I understand this correctly...you had a little too much to drink last night at the party, and as not to bother Soul, you wish to sleep it off here?"

"Ehh? You were there, too? Never thought a bookworm cared about shindigs like that. You seemed the type to just stick with us friends in small spaces. And fancy-dress occasions. You're way uptight."

The afternoon sun was bearing down on Death City, the shadows barely visible with the glowing ball of gas and fire cooking everything that had the misfortune to be exposed under it. And woe to the occupants inside if they were hollow structures without air conditioning or fans.

Currently, a still strung out Maka was sitting on the couch in the living room of her close friends Tsubaki and Black*Star, feeding them the excuse she'd managed to craft on the bus ride over. There were quite a few flaws with her reasoning, but she could only do her best to fill in those holes the one way she could, with as many excuses as she could concoct. It was either that, or...get everybody else involved in such a personal matter.

No way. It had been bad enough when the incident with Crona had taken place. She didn't need to throw the rest of her dirty laundry out there for all to see this time around.

Giving the blue-haired male an annoyed look, Maka cracked her knuckles threateningly, wincing slightly at the sound and sensation. "Black*Star, I may be sick, but I can still Maka-Chop you to hell and back." He paled slightly, but his confidence didn't waver.

"Well, luckily for me, there's no bookshelf around here! Who needs it! And heh, you got so smashed, too. You of all people! Never thought you'd break the rules like that! But I drank more than enough, and unlike some people, a God knows how to handle his liquor! Right, Tsubaki?"

The girl jumped slightly. "What? Oh, um, yes, I suppose so..." Tsubaki knew it wasn't the best thing in the world to encourage underage drinking, so she'd done her best to sound less like she was supporting the action, and more like she were commending his high tolerance. Her response nevertheless elicited a big grin from her companion.

Ignoring his comment and blatant flaunting of the drinking laws, Maka turned her attention back to Tsubaki. "So...can I stay?"

The brunette gave her a smile, and nodded slowly. "It's no problem with us, though as always, there's no spare room. Is the couch still okay? Also, well...are you sure you'll be able to handle the noise?" Looking apologetically at Black*Star, Tsubaki's smile faltered a bit. "Music is one thing, but...well, you know him, and how...energetic he is about announcing his presence. Might that aggravate your hearing?" Maka had to smile herself at how kind and accommodating her friend was being. She didn't like lying to her, but at the same time, it was nice to know they had her back. At least in this way, she could count on them.

"Noise?" Black*Star puffed out his chest, pounding a fist emphatically. "You must be mistaken, my voice is awesome! Heck, I bet I could drive away Maka's hangover with just a good shout!"

The blonde tensed at these words. "What do you mean by that?" Tsubaki looked a bit nervous now. "Black*Star, you're not seriously going to-"

But before she could finish her sentence, the boy had jumped up. He plopped himself down beside Maka, drew in a long breath, and screamed. "HEY HANGOVER, GET THE FUCK OUT! GOD COMMANDS YOU!" Tsubaki leaned back, not wanting to be close when Maka's senses returned.

As soon as said girl's ears stopped ringing and her head stopped spinning, she reached into her purse. God help him if she had reached into her schoolbag. Tsubaki shut her eyes. Here it comes...

"MAKA-CHOP!"

"YEOWCH!" And with one strike of the book spine, the boy had fallen face-first onto the floor. His head was throbbing from the decent sized lump beginning to form. Tsubaki tutted at him. "You brought that one on yourself." She cared for Black*Star, she truly did. But she couldn't deny that sometimes, he did really stupid things. It was kind of a trademark for his personality.

He did have a lot of energy, though. And he could always make her smile.

Maka returned her focus to Tsubaki. "I have no problems with the couch, and obviously, noise will not be an issue. Will it?" She asked icily, looking down at the rising Black*Star, who was now rubbing his head.

"Oww...who the hell carries a hardcover book in their purse?" He looked up at Maka with a bit of a sheepish grimace. "Fine, fine...I'll keep it down..."

Then, he jumped back up. "I'll just have to find somewhere else to let my melodious voice ring free! The neighborhood is mine! Hahaha!" He took off like a shot, and Tsubaki let out a sigh.

"I'd better go after him before he gets himself arrested for disturbing the peace." She patted Maka's hand gently. "Will you be alright here alone if we go out for a bit?" Maka wasn't quite ready to end their conversation just yet, though. She may not have been able to tell her exactly what was going on, but she could hint around it, couldn't she? Maybe she'd get some useful advice. It wasn't like her brain was coming up with anything.

She took a deep breath. "I've been thinking a lot, about...stuff, in my life." She swallowed, ignoring her flimsy reason and lack of vocabulary. "Tsubaki...do you ever, well..." The young woman stared at her curiously. "Do you ever...regret things?"

Maka's head was turned away slightly. Her gaze was looking downwards. "Do you ever think about the past, parts you wish you'd done differently? Do you ever...regret who you've loved, or been with?" Now Maka was blushing, and the action was contagious. Tsubaki's cheeks were tinted pink as well, and she seemed to be thinking quite deeply on the matter.

"That's a very...personal question...but, you're my friend, Maka. I trust you. You don't ask these things randomly." For a moment, Tsubaki had to wonder if something had happened between her and Soul; it was readily apparent that Maka had feelings for him, but as far as she knew, they weren't dating...did this have anything to do with that?

She felt a pang in her chest then. Maybe...maybe this was actually why her friend had asked to stay over for the night.

I won't pry. If she wants to tell me, I'll listen. "Yes, sometimes I do think about the past. I think about the choices I've made, the things I've experienced, the people I've lost..." She paused for a couple seconds. "And yes, the people I've loved. The people...I've chosen to give myself to."

Her expression seemed a bit wistful and misty-eyed. Then, it disappeared, replaced by her usual sunny smile.

"If I spent my time worrying and wondering about everything though, even the things I wish to change, deep down inside...I wouldn't enjoy life. Everything happens for a reason, and though it's not always clear, if you're willing to go forwards, there will be progress. Life goes on. And there's always a good side, even in the worst times. I'd rather remember the good things than the bad, anyway. I like making happy memories."

Patting Maka's hand once more, Tsubaki stood up and began heading for the door. "I hope that answers your question. I have to go find Black*Star, so get some rest. If you're hungry or thirsty, help yourself to anything in the fridge. I can always make more." Waving, she left the room. Maka let out a soft sigh as she leaned back into the couch pillows and stretched out her legs.

Happy memories, huh...? Well, she had many happy memories with Soul. Even if he was dating someone else, that fact wouldn't change. She was happy when those things happened. They didn't suddenly become bad.

But what about Giriko? That had been a mistake. She may have been ready to go at the time, but in hindsight she was sure it had been a poor judgement choice, brought on by booze and emotional vulnerability. Easy on the eyes as he may have been, she wasn't happy having slept with him. No matter how good it had felt, it was wrong. He was a mistake.

And yet...there was that part of her, that could still just remember...falling asleep in his arms, how securely he had held her. How at ease she had felt, even though she assumed now that it had been the liquor, not because he'd actually cared. Was that wrong, to take such enjoyment from these things?

If she truly considered him a mistake, then yes. It was wrong.

But did she?

And what about Soul? Maybe that entire thing with him had been one giant mistake, too?

"Augh..." As Maka rolled over, trying to soothe her pounding head, stressed by all the questioning-Why didn't I ask Tsubaki for some aspirin?-all she could do was lie there curled up, trying to put together the pieces of her life. So perfect and pure on the outside, but cracked up beneath the surface of a flawless veneer. That was her. Maka Albarn.

Right now, she was trying not to drown in fear and whys. And she didn't know which direction led back to shore.

…...

The new day's sun was as glorious as ever. Rising up from below, it chased the moon back into shadows, gracing the world with its warm rays. It wasn't nearly as hot today as it had been yesterday. And thankfully, since Maka's hangover had cleared up, she was able to enjoy the sunshine this time around.

She had set out from her friends house early, since her class was one of the first in the morning. By the time she was ready to leave, cleaned up and having taken care of her exercises-textbooks made great makeshift weights-Tsubaki had just finished preparing breakfast. Putting together a few things in a doggy bag, Maka had taken it to go, and had made sure to thank her friends for their kindness and the lovely time before she set out for the school. She'd eaten the food on the way.

One house each night, three houses equaled three nights. Three nights she had to gather her courage to face Soul again.

Speaking of which...Soul would be attending his classes today, too. She might run into him a bit sooner than normal, even if they didn't share any lessons. He might come looking for her. Maka hoped not. She wasn't quite ready yet to look him in the eye. He hadn't tried to call her. That might mean he wasn't all too concerned. Was that a good thing, or bad?

"Ouch..." Maka reached up, to massage her neck. It was a bit sore and stiff-she'd fallen asleep at an unnatural angle, and this is what she had to show for it: a crick. It had hurt all while she'd been working out, too. That couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to rest. She'd gotten a little bigger from the last time she'd crashed on it, and it was getting harder for her to properly fit. Even for her, it was small. At least the nausea is gone. I can deal with this pain on its own, but not combined.

Tonight, she'd be hopefully staying at Kid's place, with the Thompson twins. It depended on what they were up to. It wasn't so much that they were busy, but more like...whether Kid's obsessive attention to detail would allow him to let a guest sleep over, even if it was only for a night. She didn't need a whole lot of space, though they did happen to live in a mansion. They would probably give her a spare room to sleep in, instead of on the floor, like she was planning.

I'll put my stuff away, and settle in. Kid'll probably be late, but once he, Liz and Patty arrive, I can ask them properly. And if I can't stay, well... She'd come up with a Plan B before that possibility.

It wasn't only her neck that was bothering her this morning. She'd managed to wake up early by unexpectedly having an...intense dream in the a.m, something that she could only attribute to that damn parasite of a Sex God, Giriko.

Curse him...who told him he could infect my subconscious like that? I want him OUT! I'm not gonna give him any more thought than he deserves! Moving on! She didn't care if he was her first. She could always just pretend it never happened. The next person she'd be intimate with-most likely someone who wasn't a jerkwad-could be her official first.

It would be the perfect plan-except she couldn't seem to get that Cheshire grin out of her mind. Or the sensations that had practically been burned into her. Once those memories had been awoken, they refused to sleep.

In a couple more blocks, Maka had reached the school. It was on the emptier side, with a few scattered students, teachers and administrative types milling around. There was at least over an hour before class started; she'd have plenty of time to put her things away.

She could leave them in Marie's room, her teacher wouldn't mind. The woman was generous like that. Afterwards, who knew? None of her friends who had to attend lessons today were here yet, so she had all the time in the world to go around by herself. Maybe she'd check out the library. That sounded good.

As she turned into the school, a building across the way caught her eye. It was the shopping strip that had been built just a few months ago. The place where Giriko had first been introduced into her life. She remembered how the unfinished structure had looked, almost skeletal.

Maka imagined him at work, hauling things away, hitting things, climbing things...he was in good shape, so most of the work should've been easy for him. You'd be able to see the muscles through the clothes when he worked. And if it got really hot, who knew? Perhaps he'd take off his shirt again...like that time he stepped out of the shower-

"Shit!" Maka caught herself there; she was not having a fantasy about that man here, while she was at school! She didn't care if he looked good, or if he had worked on the place across the street. He was nothing to her. Nothing! The only reason he was on her mind was because she'd been drunk and susceptible to those kinds of emotions when he'd screwed her senseless.

There wasn't actually anything there. Not on her end, and certainly not on his. If Soul had been an unobtainable dream, then Giriko was a nightmare she shouldn't have even considered pursuing.

Walking into the massive school building, Maka followed the paths she'd come to know in her five months of attendance. Shibusen was the city's official learning institution. The beginning school of middle, then high school, and finally the college. Oddly enough, they all had the same principal, a man people simply referred to as 'Lord Death'. A fearsome and mystifying moniker, but with much honor. It was memorable to Maka. Her dear friend Kid, or Death the Kid, as was his whole name-the family seemed to naturally lean towards the eccentric side-knew him as 'Father'.

She didn't know how it was possible to watch over three schools at once, and spaced out somewhat, too, but somehow he managed it. He'd been managing it for quite some time, and no one argued over the way things were run. Outsiders might've considered it weird, but to those who lived and grew up here, it was fine and sensible. And it was obviously working, otherwise they wouldn't have kept it going.

The school and its setup were also pretty prized in the educational world. Lord Death had many underlings as well, to help him keep track of the various information, people and plans. And he was grooming Kid to take over the reins one day. It was a stable system, under the guidance of intelligent individuals.

Maka found Marie's room shortly, but unfortunately for her, there was no one around and the door was locked. Her class was one of the first of the day, and it seemed like she hadn't come in yet. Too early. Maka would have to wait for her to arrive and unlock it, but what would she do until then?

Looks like she was heading to the library a bit sooner than expected. When it got a little closer to the start of her class, she'd come back and hopefully be able to settle in. So, Maka began lugging her bags once again.

Well, on the bright side of things, I'm strong enough to keep hauling around both of them. One was only stuffed with her overnight belongings, but the other was crammed with book after book, a good couple for each class. In her purse was only a lone novel; in her backpack was a veritable arsenal, essential to her 'Maka-Chop' technique. It had gotten her this far in life, and had even become something of a personal trademark to her character among her social circle. Of course that was a good thing.

And the studying too. Can't forget that. Maka had no qualms about carrying it whatsoever.

Unfortunately, there had to be a downside. There always was. As Maka passed by another hallway, an all too familiar-and unwanted-voice jabbed its way into her hearing. "Makaaaa! Good morning! How is Papa's precious?" She had to grit her teeth in frustration. Of all the times for that dolt to show up, it had to be now...when she was weighed down and stuck in the bog of her muddled thoughts.

She tried to outrun him, but he was able to catch up with her in a matter of seconds. He was determined to be in her life, even if she didn't particularly care for him in hers. Not after what had happened with him and her mother. She still hadn't quite forgiven him for that.

"Go away," she said flatly, all the emotion sucked out of her voice, save for that faint trace of annoyance. "And don't call me precious. It makes me feel weird."

The man clasped his hands together, a wide smile on his face. "Those are the feelings of love bubbling up in your soul! Embrace it, Maka!" He struck a pose, obviously proud of himself for the father-powered comeback. Maka deadpanned, and actually stopped for a moment as she considered her next words carefully.

"No, that's not love. I'd say it's closer to indigestion." With that, she left the man behind, now curled up in a ball in the middle of the hall, rocking back and forth as he cradled a tiny doll that was supposed to look like her. That was the one other thing about Shibusen, the staff here were very eccentric as well. It seemed to be a trait carried down from the head and his family. In all the schools, not just the college. But it seemed to be the most pronounced in this block.

Also...her father was a teacher here. He was one of those 'eccentrics'. Had the trait skipped a generation when she was born? Right now, she wasn't too sure.

Her father, the man she was forced to call 'Papa'. The man who had cheated on her mother Kami after they had a child together, causing them to divorce and her to pack up and leave. Maka hadn't seen her for awhile now. This basically translated to her having to see him all the time while she attended here, which was quite often. Even though she hadn't been living with him since she was fourteen, it was still a pain to have to acknowledge his existence.

She knew it was a harsh thing to say, but it was the honest truth. It was how she felt. He'd broken up their family with his selfish actions. He had hurt her mom. He had hurt her.

And no matter how many times he tried to mend his ways, it just didn't work. He was a womanizer at heart, though he still claimed to love Maka and Kami. If he really cared, why couldn't he stay focused and keep his bloody promises? Why was it so hard for him to stay faithful?

Maka could still remember them, vaguely-the good times she'd had with her mom and dad, back when their family was a happy whole unit. Reading with her father, her father carrying her, going on family outings, taking all those pictures...

But, funny thing, that...those pesky wounds in her heart still refused to heal.

She supposed it would take time-a long time, probably, before she could finally start moving on and learning to tolerate her dad's presence. Even after she graduated Shibusen, she'd still have to see him around, since they lived in the same city. But it would be easier to make those run-ins less frequent.

On the other hand, she'd been wounded by two men so far in her life. Her father, and Soul, who hadn't actually been unfaithful, but also hadn't been honest. Three actually, counting Giriko. She did count him, right? Her record of positives was starting to seem much smaller, and it took a lot of mental back-pats and reassuring cheers to keep up that speck of positivity.

So what if she'd run into her father? At least she hadn't run into Soul. Her father she'd be irritated by, but at least she could still look him in the eye. Soul was a bit trickier. She'd have to train herself to overcome that hurdle when it arose.

As for the third one...

At long last, she'd reached the library. Letting out a sigh of relief, Maka opened the door, mentally closing another on the thoughts that had been wracking her mind just a few moments ago.

She needed a break. It was time to relax with a few good novels. She'd already read the one in her purse three times. She kept meaning to switch it out, but in the end she'd always forget.

And once I feel better, I can try to squeeze in some studying. That is, if it doesn't take me too long to get myself together. Yes. This sounded good. It sounded solid. It was a plan. Another plan that she was counting on to get her in one piece from Point A to Point B when she was at her weakest. It had to sound right, otherwise it wouldn't work. She wouldn't be able to carry it out.

With a hopeful smile on her face, Maka headed for the nearest set of shelves.

A/N: ... 'peeks out from my corner' Anybody still here...?

Sorry for the delayed update; the weekend kinda snuck up on me before I realized it, eheh. ^^; I was so busy w/cosplay work this week, the time just flew by. [Got my Ragnarok sword finished, yeah! X3] But, a day late, here is Chapter Four! What did y'all think?

Sorry this chapter isn't quite as 'action-packed' as the last three. There's a bit more humor in this one though, which I feel helps considering all the angst we've been dealing w/so far. Did it manage to get a chuckle out of anyone?

Honestly? I love writing Black*Star. He kinda strikes me as an overactive kid, but w/strong beliefs and a more focused personality, when it comes right down to it. What he wants, he gets [he sets no limits for himself, seeing as he calls himself a God]. That's the way he goes forward.

But. He is also noticed to be rather thickheaded, and at times completely dense. He has plenty of silly moments. While Maka-Chops may hurt, and he probably already knows loud sounds don't work well w/hangovers, I could still see Black*Star pulling a stunt like above, just b/c he can-hello, Maka immobile in the hospital bed while he drew on her face w/pen, even after she threatened him!

And Tsubaki! She's fun to write, too-the perfect balance to Black*Star's rash personality. She keeps him grounded, and out of any serious trouble. She also has one of the biggest hearts in canon, and I can identify w/her tense situation involving her older brother [I was happy that they were able to resolve things in the end, though]. She's strong w/out making a big scene, in a sense-almost the complete opposite of her partner. The quiet flower w/a delicate fragrance, who will always bloom, no matter if anyone is there to witness it. That is her resilience.

When you put the two of them together, however...you get a combination like no other. In short: I did my best to bring their personalities to life. Whether I accomplished my goal remains to be seen...

LOTS of musing on Maka's part [and some naughty dreams, oh ho ho X3]. She strikes me as, while at times short-tempered, someone who would take the time to think things over most often. And it's not like she doesn't use her brain-in canon, she's one of, if not THE top student. Rn, although she's conflicted, she's not clouded [by extreme emotional reaction or substance]. So I could see her having very active thoughts, particularly on a subject that is unfamiliar for her [see: all of this].

Of course, I had to include the adults here too-wouldn't be much of a story w/out them. You'll be seeing more of them, I promise. Spirit~! Although I'm not exactly fond of his promiscuity, I do genuinely believe he cares for Maka and his wife. He's just not always the greatest at showing it. [But he's a step up from my own Dad, so. 'shrugs'] Yes, he's still as...parental and nutty as he was in canon. I did try to give him some moments to shine, though. In his own unique way. Plus, father-powered comebacks. That is all. XD

Okay. As stated before, please, please, if you have any time at all, or anything to say, no matter how short or how long [and I could care less about anonymous vs. signed in, or how you choose to phrase it; spelling and grammar, text speak, another language, whatever! I'll read it all!], or even if you feel like you want to know what happens next here, or you just want to come back to this fic later...drop me a line/alert/favorite?

God, I must sound so ridiculous here, but like I said before...I get really scared I'm doing something wrong, when it's all quiet-like. It's probably influenced by my massive anxiety. [That, and I'm prone to making errors.] The feedback helps, not just to calm the fears, but it lets me know whether I'm telling my story properly, based on the reaction. I learn from it.

And, well...I would like to make a few new friends in fanfiction. When I can make people happy, in one way or another...IDK. It just feels right. Thanks again to everybody who has supported me thus far. I really like the idea of building a whole new happy readership-it really feels like it's been far too long since I was active here. I have missed it, the thrill of updating...and each new response it brings. :)

Next time: Kid, Liz and Patty. Oh, yes. And sleepovers. X3 Also, moar musing Maka, advice therapist Liz, and Patty being...well, Patty. XD And, a return? See you soon...I hope?