If I Were A Boy, Part IV

Hour: 11

Artie had been the first to leave when his dad showed up to pick him up at around 4 PM. He claimed that he had to work on some Physics homework and ended up giving Sam a ride home. After them, slowly the group was thinning out: Mercedes had choir practice at church at 6; Kurt and Blaine had plans with Kurt's dad; Tina and Mike were going out to a movie. The more people left, the more Luke felt like he was overstaying his invitation, so he texted his sister to come get him. He thought about begging on the text, but that would've been too low.

Unfortunately for him, his sister texted back asking if he could ask someone for a ride because she was stuck in Columbus for a few more hours. Who was he supposed to ask? Santana? She would rip him to pieces on the way to Quinn's house and end up finding out his secret, and Brittany had come with Santana. Sugar would attack him and try to make out with him, and that was definitely not in the plans. Finn was out of the question: he remembered the way Finn drives, and he was kind of afraid Finn would try to kill him on purpose or something. Then there was Puck, but Luke knew that Puck was actually going to see Beth after this party, and Quinn didn't want to deal with thinking about that.

That left asking Rachel. Which... if he was being really honest about it, he minded the least, but it also left too much room for Rachel to probe. On the other hand, it left him room to "get to know" Rachel.

This might have worked out in his favor.

He approached her when Finn went inside to use the bathroom. He only knew that piece of information because Finn felt the need to announce it to everyone. Gross. "Hey," he started.

Rachel turned away from the door Finn had disappeared through with a disgusted face but shook it away to smile at Luke. "Hey, back," she told him and gave him all her attention.

"So, um, I was wondering - well, my sis-" he caught himself before he finished the sentence and corrected it halfway, hoping Rachel didn't pay much attention to the mishap. "Quinn's sister - Frannie - gave me a ride here, and now she's stuck up in Columbus and I was wondering if you'd..."

Before he could finish asking, Rachel was already giving her response, "of course, Luke! I wouldn't mind it at all. Though, it'd be rude for me to leave my party until everyone else did, so do you mind staying a little longer or do you have to go?" Rachel was standing, ready to make excuses if that were the case.

"No! That's okay - I wouldn't mind staying at all." At least he knew Rachel didn't mind his company or him staying so long. It actually seemed like she was trying really hard to accomodate him in every way possible.

He still hadn't forgotten the way she looked at him earlier, and he kept trying to catch her eyes again ever since, but it hadn't happened... yet. They shared looks, sure, but none had been as - telling as that one. He needed to see it again to be sure that she might be into him.

"Good," Rachel asserted and moved to start picking up plastic cups on the grass around the pool, "I kinda like your company." She added and walked off to dispose of the trash.


Hour: 11.5

Finn hadn't been too thrilled with the idea of Luke staying after he left, but if Rachel noticed, she didn't seem to care. Luke just pretended he wasn't around, and Finn left with a sullen look. He was the last to leave, which meant that soon Rachel would be taking Luke home.

Interesting was the way that as soon as Finn left, Rachel turned to Luke with wide, bright eyes and asked, "would you mind helping me clean up?" She looked around the yard and it was a mess, even if Rachel had tried to not let it get this bad. He would have never said no, and he probably would have even offered, but the fact she asked him let him know that maybe Rachel wanted him to hang around longer; she wanted to spend time with him and she wanted it to be alone time.

Mindlessly, he nodded and followed her toward the kitchen where she grabbed two large, white plastic bags. "So," they walked back out through the door that connected the kitchen to the pool area, "just pick up the trash?" It was a stupid question - what else would he need a trash bag for? - but he felt comfort in knowing Rachel would take that line and run with it for a while on her own. By giving her a question, he was sure to get an answer. And he was sure that this answer would keep them in safe conversation territory.

"Yeah," she pointed at the various items laying around - cups, napkins, cans, bottle, paper plates, balloons, streamers - and then flashed him a warm smile. "Those kids can get pretty bad. Actually, if I didn't have to take you home, I'd probably be sorting the trash into recycle and such but I know you want to go home." He barely had time to make a comment on not actually wanting to go home before she kept going, "Did you know that Americans use 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour?" She huffed at the fact and crushed the empty water bottle in her hand. "Every hour, Luke," she shook her head. "And assuming most people don't recycle -" she stopped abruptly and that made Luke actually stop his job to look at her in question.

"What's wrong?"

"The tattoo," she said breathless. It was like out of nowhere, the tattoo had slammed into her mind and stopped her in her tracks. She bore deep brown eyes into his emerald green ones and elaborated. "Your tattoo. Can I see it again?" She dropped the trash bag on the ground and cleared her throat. He thought she looked like she wasn't done talking, because she kept biting her lip, and he wanted to know what was going on in that head, but he let her take her time. Eventually, she said, "it was beautiful, but I only caught a glimpse of it and I was hoping..."

He shifted his weight and scratched his neck, "Rachel, it's just a tattoo -"

His attempt at making her forget it was unsuccessful. She got closer and pried the bag away from his hands, those doe-like eyes almost pleading him, looking up from below and there was no way he was saying no here. She knew it too, apparently, because when he sighed, she smiled slightly. He was sure that she already figured out the kind of power she had on him. "It's never just a tattoo. There's always a meaning. I won't make you do it if you don't want to, but it'd mean a lot..."

She knew she had won when his bag hit the ground. "Before anything, I just - well, it's complicated, okay?" He felt like he had to explain it before she even saw it, so she wouldn't jump into conclusions that couldn't possibly be about her (since he didn't even "know" her). Forget that he did know her. Somehow, in his mind, the moment she saw the tattoo, she'd know, but there was no plausible way.

He felt vulnerable, and he saw that Rachel understood, because the smile faded and her eyes got all serious and determined. "I promise I won't make you uncomfortable."

With that, he lifted his shirt all the way off. There was no point in doing this half-assed. If she was seeing the damn tattoo, she sure as hell was going to appreciate his abs.

On his left ribcage, immediately under his heart, a star - a five-point star. Small, not extremely large, but big enough to fit the words of a haiku, in beautiful script:

"If the stars waited
lifetimes just to shine for you
then so too can I."

The tattoo was like a magnet to Rachel. Luke couldn't help but wonder if Rachel would have thought it was for her if he was Quinn right now. "Luke," Rachel spoke softly, almost afraid that if she used her normal tone of voice that the tattoo would disappear. He could tell she wanted to touch it. Her hand lingered, hovered, above the ink. "I -"

"Go on," Luke urged her, "you can touch it."

Their eyes connected, and this time it had been like Luke had searched for all evening. It was intense and there was no resistance or hesitance on either part. Rachel didn't break eye contact until she touched the tattoo with her fingertips, tracing the star and the words - reading the words over and over, he could tell. Her eyeballs shifted from side to side rapidly, wanting to absorb every word and the meaning they conveyed.

"I'm hardly speechless, Luke," she told him. "But I - I'm in awe." Somehow her palm was covering the star and she looked up at him, who was feeling a little warm at their proximity. He felt goosebumps awaken over his skin. He was getting the impression that Rachel might want to kiss him, but he wouldn't make the move if she didn't first. Rachel stood on her tippy-toes, still not tall enough to match heights, and whispered, "whomever this is for? She's a lucky girl." With that, Rachel put some distance between their bodies and made a beeline for the trash bag she had forgotten about earlier.


Hour: 12

"So, um, thank you, for letting me crash the party," Luke spoke first. He had changed back into his clothes before leaving. Rachel took the time to change as well. She was wearing a pretty red summer dress with a ribbon tied around her waist, and a bow on her head. She looked adorable and innocent and completely different than the Rachel he had seen when he first arrived at her house.

Tense was not fit enough to describe how the car ride had been. They finished cleaning up soon after the tattoo incident, but Rachel spent about fifteen minutes looking for her car keys, because apparently they weren't were they were "supposed to be!" She had said that with an indignant look and a stomp of her foot. She found them in the refrigerator and attributed it to a prank by Santana.

As the car idled in front of Quinn Fabray's house, Rachel smiled, albeit a little forced. "You're welcome, Luke. I'm glad you did. It was nice getting to meet you and hanging out with you." By this point, Luke could already tell when Rachel was acting or being real, and this - he recognized from years of experience - was the real deal. In silence, he reached for the door handle. "Luke!" She called out to him before he could actually get out. He stopped and turned again to face her.

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow, are you - are you doing anything tomorrow morning?"

"No plans."

"Want to come volunteering with me?"

"Okay."

"Pick you up at 8."

Luke almost made it out of the car before she stopped him again. "Luke!" When he turned, her eyes had been forced shut as if she was disappointed in herself for calling his name.

"Rachel," he said with an amused smile, interested in where this moment would lead to.

She turned off the car and said, "Are you busy right now? I know your cousins are both out - and, I'd hate to know that you came to Lima and didn't have an amazing time."

He grinned, and instead of giving her a direct answer, he asked, "what are we doing?" He settled back on his seat and buckled in.


Hour:13.5

"And for my latest birthday, my parents took me to Broadway to watch Wicked for the sixth time -" Rachel was talking as they walked around the mall. Luke was only half-listening. For most part he was nodding to encourage her to go on, but he couldn't help it that he found her too adorable to function. She kept on telling the story. "So I went and got a signed posted by - get this- Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth, who play Elphaba, the green witch, and Glinda, the perky, bubbly witch, respectively."

Quinn hadn't been to Rachel's that many times (she could count on her right hand the times she had been there, including today), but the one time that all the glee girls slept over, she noticed the Wizard of Oz poster Rachel had immediately to the right of her bed. Without realizing the issue, Luke asked, "did you put it up next to your Wizard of Oz one?" He wiggled his eyebrows and only realized what that implied when Rachel's brows twisted down.

"How do you know I have a Wizard of Oz poster in my room?" Shit! He hadn't been in her room at all today. This is not good.

Think, Luke. Think! Ah! "Well," he ran a hand through his hair, "I took a wild guess, knowing what I know so far about you. And I see I was right."

Rachel's suspicion was out of the way with that well-played lie. She kept talking as if she's never doubted at all, "yes," she admitted with a blush creeping up her neck and face, "I put it next to my Wizard of Oz poster. They're probably my favorite things in my room."

Luke smiled and asked, "why are they so special?" He saw an ice cream store that he liked to go to with his sister and steered that way. "Can I buy you an ice cream?"

She stopped talking and looked at him with round eyes, "um - I'm uh, vegan but-"

"I'm pretty sure they have, like, one vegan option, if you wouldn't mind that," Luke offered with a hopeful expression. He waited for her to nod and went ahead to order. He bought two of the same flavor. "Here," he handed hers over and started to enjoy his.

She looked flush, "you didn't have to get the vegan one, Luke." He had never seen Rachel so embarrassed before - but not in a bad way. The way she looked informed him that she liked that he did even if her words said otherwise. "But thank you for the ice cream."

"No problem. And I don't mind trying new things. This vegan one isn't half bad. But," he pointed to a table and she nodded, "you were telling me something..."

"Right!" Oh, man. Rachel Berry with an ice cream cone was something to die for. That little tongue kept sneaking out to lick the white treat and Luke's body was starting to react accordingly. He didn't expect that buying an ice cream for Rachel would make his ears buzz or his hands to start sweating; he didn't know that it'd make his stomach flip and he certainly wasn't expecting the pressure building between his legs. "The Wizard was the first musical I ever watched, ever. So I've always loved it..." He wondered if every guy reacted this fast to everything as well or if it was something his new body hadn't adapted to yet. "...And Wicked was my very first Broadway show! And I love everything about it - from music to plot and how it perfectly intertwines with Wizard of Oz." He focused on Rachel's voice and the story instead - and not her red, plump lips - and tried to compose himself. He was absolutely sure that at some point there his eyes glazed over. "And oh, yeah! Obviously because Idina Menzel reminds me... Well, she reminds me a lot of my own mother!" Rachel blurted.

Luke thought about Shelby, with Quinn's precious daughter, and chuckled quietly - more to himself. Rachel was right, now that he thought about it: Shelby was a replica of Idina! He grinned, wondering how nobody else in glee ever noticed that. "Really?"

"Yes! But," Rachel leaned forward on the table and whispered, "tell me more about yourself!" With her normal pitch she continued, "I feel like I talk too much and it's only about me." As she leaned to sit back on the chair, she drew a lock of hair behind her ear and Luke smiled. She was so adorable.

"What would you like to know?" He asked, even though he had a pretty good idea. Curious as Rachel always was, she would probably like to know everything. And she would probably want to start with the tattoo, if he was willing to share. Asking what she wanted to hear gave him time though, so he could organize his answers in his head.

Her eyes fell to the place where the tattoo was hidden beneath layers of clothes and gave him a secret smile. It was like she asked him the question without having to say anything.

"You have to ask," he asserted. Suddenly, that tension from before by the pool, and earlier in the car rushed back and hung over their heads. Luke started to think of this tension as sexual tension and he kind of liked it. It meant Rachel was digging him just as much as he wanted her to.

She gulped visibly and his tone and the way his eyes wouldn't leave hers. Dammit, if stupid Finn wasn't still in the picture, Luke would be kissing her right now. "I just -" she began, stumbling on her words and a catch in her throat. She licked her lips and finished, "wanted to know if it's for anyone in particular. And, like, what it means."

Luke inhaled a deep, deep breath and exhaled it slowly. "I guess it is for someone in particular. She has no idea it's for her. I got it one night when I was drunk. Except I had already thought about it forever. I had it sketched and in my pocket. Anyway, the next morning, I -" He almost said cried but that would probably make her think he was gay, so instead he cleared his throat. "I - " He ran a hand over his brows, worried.

"Luke, it's okay. You don't have to talk about it," Rachel told him though she did nothing to hide her disappointment. "Not right now. Maybe another day?" She suggested with a hopeful expression.

"Sounds good to me," Luke lied.

That was something Luke hadn't thought through. How was he to ever tell Rachel that he was Quinn. How would he even begin to explain it? And when he did so, how the hell was the tattoo supposed to come up? This was all about being better for Rachel and here he was, still lying. Still hiding. Still keeping his true self hidden. Rachel didn't deserve that. Rachel always deserved the truth and she needed to know the truth if she was to choose being with Luke other than Finn. It would be too unfair for Luke to have a Rachel who didn't know who he used to be.

He gave her a small smile, hoping to dear God that people really couldn't read minds otherwise he was screwed. The look on Rachel's face told him that she was oblivious to what was going on in his nook, so he relaxed.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" She asked and pointed behind him where the theatres were. "On me."

His smile grew, "only if you let me pay. And you pick."

She beamed at the suggestion, "you'd let me pick?"

He cast curious eyes at her and an eyebrow rose before he could stop it. For a fleeting second, he thought he saw recognition flash through Rachel's eyes, but he diverted quickly. "Why wouldn't I?"

Rachel's head lowered and she told him, "Finn always claims that I pick boring, girly movies so -"

"What is the deal with that guy?" Luke gritted through his teeth without thinking. Rachel looked alarmed at his angry tone. Luke continued, "I mean, is he always this big of an asshole?"

"He's... Not always that bad, Luke," Rachel defended Finn, and herself. "Lately we've just gone through a lot but..." She slowed down the pace they were walking and confided something. "Your cousin actually helped me with something extremely important. She's, well, um. Finn and I were supposed to get married and then we were going to go to New York. But Quinn told me to not do that; not waste my life on Finn Hudson. She was so persistent about it and I never wanted to listen..."

Luke was starting to get hopeful because he could almost taste the impending 'but' of Rachel's little speech. "But...?" He pushed her along.

"But then she sang this song in glee club this week and it just- god, I hope it clicked. Everything made sense to me. That's why I wanted her there this weekend. With all she's said to me, and what we've been through, and the looks and stares, and then that song and how she - the way she just-" Rachel stopped talking, afraid she said too much. "I'm sorry, Luke. Maybe I'm giving too much information. I'm not even sure of Quinn's side of all of this. I'm just saying what I hope and-"

All of this information was a lot for Luke and Quinn to reel in. He wanted to smile and kiss her right then but it would confuse the hell out of her. He also wanted to talk, and find out what she really felt, but now it felt like it was too late!

If Rachel really felt for Quinn what she was suggesting, then - Luke started to freak out. He really hoped this transformation wasn't permanent. And now he also had to worry about Rachel's reaction. Would she feel cheated that he got so close to her in this way?

He tried to maintain calm, "what about Finn, Rachel?" It almost sounded like a question Quinn would ask.

"I broke up with him today at the party," she admitted. Luke's entire world shifted.

"But - he seemed like everything was fine."

"He cried," Rachel told him conspiratorially. She shared a sad smile with him and added, "but I don't regret it. I explained to him that what we had was becoming toxic; that I wasn't liking who he was becoming. That it would be better if we ended things when we were still friends. Then I told him to enjoy the party." She chuckled at herself. "I don't know where I found the courage to do it, but, I feel much lighter now. We're waiting a while before telling our friends and so I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Quinn."

Oops.

He nodded, "of course."

"And I'm sure Finn isn't over it. Later, when it all starts to hit him, he'll go through stages: denial, anger - he'll try to get me back, but it's settled, Luke. I'm done with it."

He couldn't help it but be proud, and he couldn't help it but tell her that. "I'm proud of you for doing that. You deserve better than that guy, Rachel." They started walking again, and Luke dared to walk just an inch closer, but not wanting to break the boundaries since she just broke it off with Finn.

"I'm sorry for telling you so much. I just, I feel like I can trust you..." She looked away, shyly and blushed.

Luke was confused if Rachel liked him, Luke, or if she liked Quinn. "You can. Always remember that. I know we just met, but you can always trust me."

"I do," she reiterated. They arrived at the ticket booth for the movies. She lifted her chin to be able to look at the titles and with a smile said, "Pitch Perfect?"

Quinn had been dying to watch that, so Luke didn't hesitate in pulling out the money, "whatever you want."


A/N: the quote in the star is by Tyler Knott Gregson. It's one of his Daily Haiku.