Little Skaia Things (Homestuck)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: So I promised myself a while back I would write some things for Homestuck, see as it's my other favorite fandom. This is a storage place for all my drabbles for the series and characters.

Disclaimer: Homestuck's not mine.

Warning: Learning how to write these characters, so excuse some OOCness.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

"You look like shit."

Rose refuses to sniffle, giving her brother a flat look instead. "Your observational skills continue to improve, I see."

Dave snorts incredulously. "Your face is redder than Karkat's right before he flips off the handle and goes on a merry-go-round of anatomically-impossible suggestions and you're sweating more than that creepy troll who got mixed up with bro's robot glasses to make an even creepier sprite."

"I'm fine," Rose replied, swallowing and regretting the action immediately at the spike of pain that caused. "I've suffered worse than this."

"I'll make sure to put that on your grave," Her brother grins in amusement. "Rose Lalonde, god tier Seer of Light extraordinaire and humanity's first ambassador to the hot alien trolls next planet over on a lifelong quest to go down where no man or woman has gone before, brought down by a case of weak-ass Earthling influenza."

"How flattering," She can't help but smile a little. "Although I should remind you that technically Jade was the first to speak to them from our chronological point of view."

"Maybe in the game," Dave concedes. "But last I remember you were the one to help initiate first contact here, or was that some other sister of mine?"

"If you have other sisters, I would have definitely liked to have known before now," Rose's eyes widen, showing off more red veins. "Did David go through with his secret lifelong desire to be a drag queen then? Or are there things you wish to tell me? I haven't had a chance to crack open my psychology books in quite a while."

"Ha ha ha," Dave replied flatly. "You know damn well it was Jade who changed us into those right before graduation, though she still hasn't told me where she even got the monstrosities she shoved us all into."

"You haven't guessed yet?" The Seer pressed a hand to her lips. "Roxy's gotten quite good with her abilities, and she thought it'd be an excellent way to celebrate mastering that particular skill. I must say, considering how it turned out, it was an excellent decision on their part."

"Betrayed by my own mother," Dave places a hand over his heart, though his face remains solemn. "What can I expect next from her wily ways? Matching hideous Christmas sweaters for us to wear while we pose in those family photos that our distant and nonexistent relatives always demand even though they never come for Christmas dinner? Real fake-ass Thanksgiving turkeys that always turn out to be made from tofu cause that one crazy vegan aunt is coming over for a surprise visit and the kids always break down in unison crying about the cruelties of the universe?"

Rose can't stop her giggle at the absurdity of the statement, which would have grown into full out laughter if it hadn't had the unfortunate side effect of triggering a nasty hacking fit, leaving her with an obscene amount of snotty saliva on her pajama-clad arm and a brief wash of misery at her current situation.

Dave simply snorts. "See? If you can't even handle my weaker shenanigans without hacking up vital organs, how can you expect me to let you wander around the house and possibly fall down some ironically placed stairs?"

"Unless you moved them since I last left my room, I doubt they are placed any more ironically than usual." Rose sighs. "But unfortunately, as you have made your point, I will concede the victory to you."

Dave grins again, looking ready to fistbump her shoulder before recalling she was miserably sick and that he wanted no part of that. "Don't worry about starving up here; our parent-siblings have joined unholy forces to craft you the finest meals God has ever witnessed on this poor Earth in order to hasten your recovery so that you don't miss out on family bonding night."

Rose's eyes narrow in suspicion. "You're letting them cook unsupervised?"

"Me? No way, I'm all up in this responsibility shit like a cat on the proverbial dumbass mouse who didn't stop to notice the huge-ass predator behind it on its quest for cheesy goodness."

"Dave."

The Knight turns and walks out the door. "I'll bring some medicine when they're done; and don't you worry, David's got them well at hand."

He doesn't look back once as he descends the stairs, knowing with a satisfied smirk that she's already paled in horror at what those three would create with their… skewed tastebuds. Hopefully it'll keep her from snarking at his own cooking habits for at least a week after this.

(And if he's the one to actually make the food she eats instead, helped along with a bit of timely shenanigans, she doesn't have to know.)

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN: I've never written Dave before, so I tried my best to capture his tone of voice, but idk if it worked or not. Was definitely fun to write, though! I need to work on more stuff with these two.