AN: I know, its cheesy, but I dare you to find me fluff that isn't! Sorry about the slow updates, I...kind of got busted doing...something I shouldn't have. So I got banned from the computer.
Bonus points to whoever can tell my why I picked that name for the waterslide!
"Pool party!" Tony yelled, running from the locker room, and diving into the cool chlorinated water below
"Hey!" the lifeguard bellowed from his post, tapping the sign that read, "No Running or Diving!"
"Oops," he sighed, "Aw, well. No harm done, can't change the past." he looked around for his co-workers. The women, of course, were taking the longest. Gibbs walked out, throwing a few inflatables into the pool, "Hey, boss. Where's McGee? He's been in the locker rooms for like, twenty minutes!"
"How should I know?" Gibbs asked, "For the next few hours, I am not in charge of you people. Whatever you do, is your own responsibility." he'd had enough of playing high school principal, he wasn't going to it here, when he was trying to relax a bit
"Oh...McRobin!" Tony groaned, covering his eyes, "My God, it looks like a banana, without the yellow spots!" he tried to make fun of poor McGee, but the swimsuit he was wearing was doing most of the work for him, "You've lost some weight, and frankly I'm proud of you. But please, cover up!"
McGee looked down at his bright yellow speedo, "Its not that bad." he tried to walk without giving himself a wedgie, but it wasn't working very well, "How do women wear things like thongs? You'd think it would hurt..." he muttered
"Yes, I assure you, it is that bad," Tony promised, running up to Ziva who had just come out of the locker rooms, "Shield your eyes!" he wrapped his hands around Ziva's eyes to keep her from looking at McGee, "If you look at him, kiss your heterosexuality goodbye!"
Ziva moved his hands away, "I think you look...nice, McGee. Very sexy." she tried to be sincere, but it looked like his swimsuit was made of a raincoat
"He wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow-" Tony began singing
"DiNozzo! Knock it off!" Gibbs warned
"Sorry," he linked arms with Ziva, "You need to go shopping with McSpeedo, get him something that fits. You have taste." he looked her over appraisingly, "Not bad." he reached behind her and snapped the back of her black top
"Do you want to die?" she glared, gripping his hand tightly, "I have two knives on me, care to find out where?" his eyes searched her body, clad in a tiny black bikini, wondering where she could possibly conceal her weapons. If anyone could though, it was Ziva
Abby finally wandered out, not sure what to think of what she saw. Tony snapping Ziva's top, McGee doing stretches in a bright yellow man-thong, and Gibbs sleeping on a floating raft in the middle of the pool. The sad thing was, none of this was that surprising.
McGee ran up to her, "Hey, you want to race?" he gestured to the side of the pool with lanes roped off for that purpose
"Um, no." she felt herself blush a bit as McGee looked her over, "You like it?"
"Only you could pull it off," he assured her. She was wearing a hot pink one piece, with black skulls smiling happily on it, "I love it."
"How about the waterslides?" she suggested, knowing the water park would have a few
"Great! There's this one, called the Charybdis? Its eighty feet long, and splashes down into twelve feet of the coldest water you've ever felt!" he seemed a bit excited about it, while she was a bit more reluctant
"Anything...less drownable?" she asked, "Is that even a word? I don't know..." she sighed, not knowing quite how to say this, "I...I can't swim, McGee."
He looked at her, not shocked or appalled, like she'd expected, but lovingly, and with understanding, "Hey, its okay Abby. I can teach you?" he offered, "Just...don't take any lessons from those two." he pointed to the diving boards, twenty feet above them, where a showdown was underway
"Ready to dive, Zi-vah?" Tony sneered, standing on the board next to her, bouncing lightly to test the board, "You're going down, way down. About twenty feet down."
"I get it, Tony," Ziva seemed a bit less edgy, seeing as she was actually capable of standing still, "I will win, Tony. I have more precision than you do, you lack discipline." she told him, watching in amusement as he stretched, and as he put it, "got his game face on", whatever that meant
The man they'd asked to give the signal looked up at them, "You two ready?" they both nodded, "Go!"
Tony and Ziva took off from the opposite end of the board, running for the water. Ziva leaped gracefully into the water, flipping around a few times in the air before dipping into the water without as much as a splash. Tony, however, was not so lucky. He slipped a few feet from the edge, face planting on the board. He flipped off, landing flat on his back in the water twenty feet under him, sending a huge wave across the pool, "Owww..." he groaned, "You win, Ziva..."
"Aw, my little hairy butt," she cooed, swimming up beside him, helping to ease him to the edge, "Come on, let's get you out before you drown."
"Okay, just relax," McGee held Abby's slim body up in the water, letting her float on her back
"How am I supposed to relax if I could drown?" she tried to keep her body level, but she wasn't very buoyant. "This isn't working. How did you learn to swim?"
"I took classes at the YMCA when I was a kid," he told her, "It took me a while to learn, so don't worry if you don't get it right away, we'll work on it."
"Or you could simply throw her into a body of water without warning?" Ziva suggested, watching with Tony from the edge of the pool, "My father threw me in the Jordan River when I was two years old. I picked it up right away."
"Did he give you a life jacket, or anything?" McGee asked, horrified
"No, he just tied a rope around my waist so that if I was drowning, he could pull me up." she spoke about the event very casually, considering how traumatic it must have been for a toddler, "It only took one time for me to learn."
"No, no, no!" Abby protested, "You are not throwing me in a river!"
"What about a lake?" Tony proposed, "Or the ocean?"
"Not helping, Tony!" Abby shouted, getting a bit annoyed at their suggestions
Ziva swam out to where Abby was trying to float, "McGee, she is never going to learn like that. Abby, you think like a scientist, yes? Your body is mostly water, so you should not sink. You should remain mostly neutral, so it does not take much effort to stay afloat."
Abby was listening, "Yeah, in theory. But in practice?"
Ziva dragged Abby out of the shallows, "You cannot learn to swim in two feet of water. Here, watch my legs," Abby tried to mimic Ziva's movements, "See?"
"The water's resisting too much though."
"Abby, might I just say, duh?" McGee swam out to her, holding her up to keep her steady "'For every action...'"
"'There's an equal but opposite reaction.'" Abby finished, "Oh, I get it! Resistance is a good thing here?"
"Yes," Ziva told her, "I think you have it."
"Why? Understanding it doesn't mean I can do it."
"Yeah, it kind of does," McGee told her, "I let go of you a minute ago." she looked down, seeing that she was staying afloat on her own. McGee's arms were around her, but not touching her, there in case she needed him
"McGee! I'm swimming! Well, treading water, but I'm swimming!" she grinned, turning to him, kissing him wildly, making him blush, "Yay! Gibbs!" she moved over to Gibbs' raft, towed on McGee's back, "Gibbs! Guess what I can do?"
"Wake me up?" he muttered
"Well, sorry," she splashed him playfully, "But look where I am! The deep end!" she was ecstatic. She probably would have been bouncing on her heels if they'd been on land
"Good for you, Abs. Ziva?" Gibbs asked, noticing that Tony was holding an ice pack to his face, "What did you do to Tony?"
