No ramblings this time! Just that this chapter is extremely short and it shouldn't have taken me nearly as long as it actually did to write. Oh well.
Wait, I lied. I do have something else to say. I asked for prank submissions in your reviews a chapter or two ago, and although I didn't use specific pranks, one submission from Catnip-Packet gave me an idea. And so I could not in good conscience take full credit for the prank Nico performs in this chapter, since inspiration was drawn from another suggestion. So thank you, Catnip-Packet! Keep up the good work!
I'm done now.
"Two and a half hours," Nico grumbled, touching the bottle cap atop his head fondly. "Two and a half hours to find my bottle cap."
Pedro smirked. "He was still looking when I got home."
"And how long did it take you to find all those bottle caps?" Rafael asked.
"Five hours," Pedro admitted.
"You really have no life, do you?"
"Excuse me? I am the hip-hoppiest bird this side of the hollow."
"You sound more like a rabbit."
"A really cool rabbit."
"Yeah. Uh-huh."
Pedro made to lean against the window of A Loja de Muitos Filmes, but unbeknownst to him, it was not completely closed. The moment he rested his full weight against it, the partly open window gave way, spilling the cardinal out into the flowerbed.
Nico grinned, trying to stop himself from laughing out loud. Pedro flashed him a knowing look—he himself had closed and latched the window after arriving at Richie's. Nico avoided eye contact with his fallen friend, looking everywhere but his face and whistling nonchalantly.
"So what do you guys want to do tonight?" Richie said, helping Pedro clamber out of the flowerbed and back into the apartment. "I have a suggestion."
"Is it more Super Smash Bros?" Pedro asked.
"No, but that reminds me." Excitement paraded its way onto Richie's face. "There's this online tournament that I'm in for Super Smash Bros, a bunch of birds I play with on Xbox Live also use the Wii, and they're in it. It's a pretty big deal, the tourney's later tonight."
"Wait…what?"
"I want you to enter the Super Smash Bros tournament."
"How can we have a tournament? There's no one here."
"It's online."
"On what line?"
Richie sighed. "The Internet. That means that you can play against a bunch of other birds who aren't actually here."
"In a tournament?"
"Yes. I log on through the Wii."
"And you want me to play?"
"That's what I'm saying."
The excitement jumped from Richie's face to Pedro's. "I'm in, dude! It sounds off the block!"
Rafael and Nico shared a puzzled glance and then directed it at Pedro. "Off the block?"
"Yeah. Off the block."
"When did you start saying that?" Nico asked.
"Just now. I made it up."
"Isn't it off the heezy?"
"Well, yeah, but what's a heezy? And why do I want to be off of it?"
Nico fiddled with his bottle cap, clearly at a loss for words.
Pedro continued pleading his case. "Come on! Off the block! Like...chip off the old block! But cooler!"
"I guess that kind of makes sense," Rafael admitted.
"Yeah. It's a much better saying."
"Okay, well, anyway, you're in, Pedro?" Richie asked, large green eyes pleading.
"Duh!"
"Great!" Richie cried. "We'll have to make you a username and stuff, but that won't take long, and the tourney doesn't start until, like, eight, anyway."
Pedro's eyes went a little misty, already daydreaming about his assured victories.
"That being said," Richie continued, "I really want to watch The Social Network."
"That movie about nailbook?" Nico asked.
"Facebook."
"Oh."
"It's a really great movie, guys! Come on!"
Rafael shrugged. "Let's go for it."
Nico half-nodded his consent. Richie turned expectantly towards Pedro, still staring off into the distance. Nico hit him on the arm.
"What? Oh, yeah, Social Nets, whatever."
Richie cheered and went to get the DVD.
Rafael, Nico, and Pedro all cocked their heads at the exact same angle as they listened to Mark Zuckerberg.
"Dios mio," Rafael said.
"Are you hearing what I'm hearing?" Nico asked.
"He sounds exactly like Blu," Pedro stated.
"Huh?" Richie sounded, popcorn halfway to his mouth.
All three birds shushed and motioned frantically for Richie to stop talking over Mark Zuckerberg. A girl spoke, then Mark did again.
"OH MY GOD!"
"It is!"
"It's the same voice!"
"Was Blu in this movie?"
Richie laughed. "Does he really sound like your friend?"
"YES!" All three chorused at once.
"Uncanny."
"I don't think I can seriously watch this movie," Nico said. "All I can see is Blu sitting there."
"Really? It's working for me," Pedro replied. "He's making an idiot of himself in front of that girl."
"This is true," Rafael sighed. "And he had such a good teacher…"
Nico, Pedro, and Rafael managed to sit through the rest of the movie without their mouths agape the whole time. (Although Nico and Pedro were often struck with the giggles.) The credits rolled and Richie turned expectantly towards his audience.
"Well?"
"It was a good movie, bro, but…I liked Jaws better," Pedro said gently.
"Second that," Nico agreed. Rafael merely nodded.
"I expected that," Richie said somewhat gloomily. "Pedro, you want to get signed on and registered?"
"Now you're talkin'!" Pedro jumped out of his seat and rubbed his hands together. "Where do we start?"
"Let me hook up the Wii."
Pedro smiled gleefully, ecstatic at the opportunity presenting itself that night. He ran off to join Richie with the gaming system, leaving Nico alone with Rafael.
Rafael turned to Nico, planning on asking if he wanted anything from the kitchen, but immediately halted when he saw the look on the canary's face. A calculator had nothing on the calculation currently residing in Nico's expression.
"What are you thinking?"
The canary smiled slyly. "Nothin' much."
"Liar."
"Don't worry about it."
Rafael rolled his eyes, knowing full well that he would have to worry about it later.
Nico sipped his soda patiently, waiting for the perfect moment. Richie and Rafael sat on the couch, each trying to stuff more Twizzlers in his mouth than the other, while Pedro continued to trounce his Smash opponents. He grinned after defeating three more players with ease.
"Check that out!" He bragged, blowing on his fingernails.
Richie leaned next to the earpiece of the headset resting beside him on the couch. "Who is this guy?" a crackly voice emanating from the headpiece asked.
"Apparently a prodigy," another crackly voice answered.
Pedro grinned wide, standing up and stretching. After rewarding his arms with the quick respite, he ambled his way over to the window, announced he was taking a bathroom break, and flew into the flowerbed.
"Pedro! Make it quick! The next round is the qualifier for the championships round!"
"Don't rush me!" Pedro yelled back at Richie, closing the window a little more for privacy. Richie hadn't finished laughing before Nico had leapt off the couch.
"What are you doing?"
"Did I tell you that it took me two and a half hours to find my bottle cap?" Nico replied, jimmying Pedro's controller just loose enough from the Wii so he wouldn't notice. "Two and a half hours. Plus, I'm still half white from all the sunscreen he squirted on me yesterday."
"So you're screwing up his game?"
"Nah. It'll only take him a second to realize the controller ain't in, and you're playing stock, so he's got three lives. The way he's goin', it won't mess him up at all."
"I guess..."
Rafael chuckled. "I don't know, Nico. He's really into this contest. He's gonna go crazy."
"That's the point!" Nico said happily as he fluttered back to the couch.
Pedro flew in from the flowerbed a moment later. "Who's gonna be pummeled next?"
Richie lifted the earpiece again. "You guys ready?"
"What? Course I'm ready," Pedro said indignantly.
"I'm not talking to you."
"Oh…"
"All right, Pedro, you're against Manuel, Pierre, and Yolanda next, from Spain, France, and Switzerland, respectively."
"BRAZIL!"
"Yes. You are from Brazil."
Pedro saluted Richie and picked up his controller, visibly prepped for the fight. The clock counted down, and all the characters on screen launched into battle.
Except Pedro's.
Pedro furrowed his brow, furiously jimmying the joystick in a vain effort to force his character to move. "Fox! Go, man!"
Nico placed a wing over his mouth to stifle his chuckles.
"FOX! WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING?"
On screen, Captain Falcon effortlessly pummeled the motionless Fox, sending him to the edge of the arena.
"Nononononononono!"
Captain Falcon caught up to Fox's flying form quickly, sending him off the edge with one punch.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pedro grasped his head desperately, staring at the screen with a look of utter disbelief and betrayal. "WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?"
He shook the controller violently, pressing every button his fingers could find. Nothing worked, despite Pedro's frantic screams aimed at the TV. It was as Fox was propelled for a second time off the stage that he realized Nico was laughing.
"WHY IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU?"
"Dude! Just plug in your controller!"
Pedro narrowed his eyes and whipped his head around. His eyes grew wide when he saw the barely disconnected controller. He dove for it with all the intensity of a baseball player going in for a home run slide.
He slammed the plug back into the Wii and returned to his controller just as his beloved Fox flew off the arena for a third and final time.
"Player 1—Eliminated," the game announced. Complete silence followed, shattered only by "What was that?" and "What happened to him?" emitting from the headset laying untouched next to a stunned Richie.
Pedro turned around, knives and daggers flashing in his eyes. "Did you do that?" he asked, piercing Nico with his gaze.
Nico, just as stunned as Richie, shook his head. "Pedro, I—"
"Did. You. Unplug. My. Controller."
"I didn't mean for you to lose—"
"You did unplug it?"
"I'm sorry! It was supposed to be a prank!"
"WHAT?"
Nico paused a moment, mouth open but no words coming out. "Pedro, I'm sorry—"
"You're sorry? I just lost because of your stupid prank!"
"I thought you would notice the controller was unplugged right away!"
"I JUST LOST!"
"I didn't think you would!"
Rafael and Richie exchanged terrified glances as Pedro raised his voice in voluminous anger. Nico's rose in apologetic pitch.
"Pedro, I'm sorry!"
"None of my pranks hurt you!"
"I know! I didn't mean for this one to!"
"Well it did!"
Nico had taken his bottle cap off, holding it in front of him as a sort of shield. Had it not been solid metal, he would have reduced it to rubble already, he was holding it so tightly. "Pedro, I-I'm really sorry, I know you were really excited about the tournament—"
"Obviously you didn't!"
"I did! I really thought it would be a harmless prank!"
"I can't believe you did this!"
"I'm sosososososososososo sorry, buddy..."
"I didn't do anything like this to you!"
Nico's apologetic expression became even more nervous. "I-I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to make you lose! I-it's just a game, right?"
"I was good at it! I was about to win! And you completely ruined it, you PIPSQUEAK!"
Nico stopped squeezing his bottle cap. Shock flitted across his face, followed by hurt, betrayal, then anger. He narrowed his eyes, frowned, and slammed his bottle cap back onto his head. Wordlessly and with a pained look at Pedro, he turned and flew out of the apartment.
Complete silence followed Nico's exit. Pedro kept his arms crossed in indignation, expression not softening as he continued to glare at the window.
Rafael coughed. Pedro turned, still scowling. "What?"
"Feel better?"
"About what?"
"About losing."
"No."
"I had a feeling this prank war wasn't going to end well…"
"It's his fault."
"Entirely."
"It is."
"Yep."
"Why do I have the feeling you're not being serious?"
"Because I'm not."
"He unplugged my controller!"
"You didn't have to get so mad about it."
Pedro's scowl deepened. "I really wanted to win."
"Enough to insult him like that?"
Pedro's expression softened. "Well—I—"
"You called him a pipsqueak," Rafael said quietly.
Realization suddenly hit Pedro like a wrecking ball. "Oh my God. I called him a pipsqueak."
Richie glanced from Rafael to Pedro. "Even I know he's super sensitive about that."
Pedro stared at the TV screen, where the championship match was taking place. He watched sickeningly as Fox picked up a baseball bat and whacked Pikachu off the arena. He put his head in his hands.
What had he done?
Anyone who gets The Social Network reference...props to you. (Jesse Eisenberg!)
Review?
