You, my friend, have just purchased an Left 4 Dead character. You must have saved up numerous pennies and done tons of chores. Congradulations. You may pat yourself on the back.
You have purchased - HUNTER
1. Your HUNTER likes to pounce people/things/anything that isn't what he is. So we advise keeping him on a leash.
2. Your HUNTER does not like dog-food. Don't feed him that nasty shit, for he is NOT a dog.
3. Your HUNTER will function happily if you have at least one tree in your yard, as he loves to climb things.
4. Your HUNTER can get lonely easy. Make sure to give him lots of attention and carry around a baggy of human fingers for treats!
5. To the contrary, HUNTERs are not like vampires.
6. Keep your HUNTER away from your neigbor's children. We are not responsible for any mauled children.
7. Your HUNTER will function happily if there are WITCHs around, as he likes the WITCH model.
8. Your HUNTER does not like it whenever any nearby FRANCISs call him "A hoody-wearing wussy".
9. Actually, it'd be a good idea just to keep your HUNTER away from any FRANCISs period.
10. SMOKER models are great play-buddies for your HUNTER!
Enxtension Packs for - HUNTER
POUNCE extention pack (We reccommend de-clawing your HUNTER if you want to buy this extension)
NINJA extension pack (Is already installed. How else does he manage gravity-defying feats and agility that good? KEEP HIM AWAY FROM PIRATES FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD!)
DRONE ZOMBIE extension pack (Will result in the undenying love for the WITCH model and complete servitude)
FAQ for - HUNTER
Q My HUNTER keeps jumping around the house and trying to kill my neighbor's kitten. Any solutions?
A Try a shock collar. That might answer your problem. Just keep batteries handy!
Q I feel like my HUNTER is overly agressive towards me and especially strangers. Help me, please.
A Well, you can always try and get him neautured. That works for other animals...
Q I did the above and now my HUNTER is depressed and eats way to much. What do I do now?
A *face palms* Are we supposed to solve EVERY problem of your's? Seriously, try solving something on your own for once.
Q Your an ass.
A ...That is not a question. And we only have one thing to say to that. Nick? ..."ASS-CLOWN!"
Q PEELZ HEER!
A YOU ARE A DISTURBED INDIVIDUAL!
Left 4 Dead belongs to VALVe
All REAL tweeks and questions about the game go to VALVe
This is a parody. Nothing more.
OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE SERIES
NICK
ROCHELLE
COACH
ZOEY
BILL
LOUIS
FRANCIS
KEITH
HUNTER
WITCH
And many more to come! Keep an eye out for others!
