Summary: Everyone thought that they had Rachel Berry all figured out but when a series of events cause Rachel to reach her limit ,the Gleeks see a side of Rachel that they haven't seen before.

Disclaimer: Glee does not belong to me no matter how much I wish it did. I don't own the ocean I'm just taking a dip.

A/N: I'm mixing and moving things around to suit the story I have in my head so things won't follow the shows timeline or won't have something's.

Rachel's POV:

I can hear my heart beat pounding in my ears a wild rhythm, that combined with my shaky hands the frantic thoughts running through my head made tears begin to run down my face.

That feeling you have when you're not sure if you're awake or dreaming. That's how I felt right now, like I didn't really get a call with horrible terrifying line. I was just stuck in some awful dream where I wanted to wake up but couldn't and when I finally do wake up I can just wipe away the tears that leaked out and everything would be alright.

I tried as hard as I could to make myself believe that but a part of me was screaming that this wasn't a dream and that I needed to hurry. I wanted to cling with all I had to the idea that this was just some nightmare but at the same time I couldn't indulge myself with that. I needed to face reality.

I sped down the road and weaved in and out of the few cars that were on the road in hopes to get to the hospital faster.

'Please, please, please, let her be okay!' I silently prayed I shrieked loudly and hit my dashboard hard when I was forced to stop at a red light.

"NO, NO HURRY UP!" I sobbed and pulled frustrated at my hair. I blew out a big shaky sigh of relief when the light finally turned green. Finally after what felt like hours of driving I pulled into the Hospital's parking lot. Parking the car I pushed the door open and slammed it close with a hard shove as I turned and ran towards the hospital

"I got a call, I-I'm here for Eliana B-Berry, please," I told the receptionist whose light blue eyes looked at me with pity.

"I know honey, let me call Nurse Sarah and she can take you to her OK?" She softly asked me and I nodded and looked at her for a second before realizing that she was the same receptionist that I saw almost every day that I came to the hospital to visit.

"Berry?" A woman with curly brown hair and green eyes called out to her. Rachel assumed that this was Nurse Sarah

"Yes," I answered

"Is there anyone else we need to call or-?"

"No, Just me for now I will call everyone else later can you take me to see her now?" I asked cutting her off, I know it was rude but I just couldn't find it in me to care at the moment.

She looked at me before nodding quickly "Yes, of course. Follow me. I'm going to explain what-"

'I couldn't focus on what she was saying; I would have to ask again later and see if they could explain.' Right now I was trying to keep a straight face which was turning out to be ridiculously hard for someone who had so much practice masking their feelings more than they would care to admit.

Noticing that they weren't headed to the room that she was accustomed to visit her Bubbe in she tried to memorize the way but it felt like a million halls; a maze that never ends with walls that bleed together. She can even tell where they made a right turn or a left. She stopped when she felt the nurse turn towards her and tried to focus on what she was saying.

"I'm sure you know that there's not really much we can do. She's refused treatment for so it's too late to start now. We've revived her twice but she is very weak and I am so sorry to say this but you probably only have this time to say goodbye."

My throat constricted and I nodded at her and took a deep breath through my nose, logically I knew this to be true but my heart wanted to ignore my mind and scream that it wasn't true and that she was going to be fine but I couldn't delude myself into believing something just because I wished it to be true .I knew this moment would happen I had been preparing myself for some time now, I had expected as much. She seemed to be getting weaker each time I visited and she was as stubborn as me saying if she was sick then she was sick and she was going to let that happen. She was happy living as long as she did and living through what she had.

Rachel's grandmother was a strong woman and a proud one. She had heard what chemo did and how bad it made you feel inside. When all was said and done you might have fought of the cancer and you might not have, it wasn't a guarantee.

So in the end she decided against treatment. Swallowing back the lump that seemed to have permanently lodged itself in my throat and trying to blink back the tears in my eyes, I twisted the door open and started to walk in. Only to be immediately shoved back out when machines started to beep and hiss and doctors and nurses came running. I stood shocked for a moment before trying to run into the room to see what was going on only to be pulled gently out by the nurse who had walked me there. The nurse closed the door lightly before turning to face me.

"Rachel I am so sorry I need you to wait in the Waiting Area, I promise to let you know anything as soon as I find out ok? Do you want me to walk you there?"

The little girl in me wanted to scream and cry and push the door open. I wanted to demand that they tell me what was wrong and why they were taking so long to fix her Bubbe, but the adult in her said that she had to be more like an adult. The adult in her knew that more often than not that wouldn't be of any use.

"Yes, no, I mean um, would you please show me the way?" She asked the nurse.

3rd Person:

Sarah Puckerman's heart broke for the small girl in front of her. She realized that the girl probably didn't recognize her at the moment and she didn't blame her.

She had only bumped into the girl a few times. But from what she had heard from others and from Eliana, Sarah felt like she knew the girl and she felt for her.

She could see how the girl was trying so hard to keep it together but small chips of the wall that she built were falling and Sarah could see the small scared girl underneath.

Rachel POV:

I've been in this stupid waiting room for 15 minutes and still no news.

I lean back in my seat and lay my head on the white wall behind me and squeeze my eyes a movie, the memories play behind my eyes, mocking or comforting, right now I wasn't sure...

*Flashback*

"Add some more sugar Bubbula!" My grandmother said with a laugh, her brown eyes sparkling .

"OK, ok, ok. Then, when were done with the Mandelbread my daddies will come home and have some right?" My six year old self asked. Bubbe's smile twisted from joyful to sad.

"My darling your fathers are traveling and won't be back for a while but I am here and you are here. We are together and this way we won't have to share our wonderful treat." Bubbe answered me in a soft caring voice.

Giggling I nodded. "Yeah Papa always tries to take my piece too! And- OH! But Bubbe what about Ana, can she have some?"

"Yes my darling we can invite your friend and her mother over later after Temple ok? Now let's hurry and finish up so we can get ready." She told me and took my small hand in hers to lead me into the kitchen.

In that moment I was happy and content. It didn't matter that my parents were not around because I had my Bubbe and that's all I needed.

*End Flashback*

I took in a deep breath as more memories played out like a movie in my mind. Thankfully or sadly though, my trip down memory lane didn't last long.

" Rachel Berry?" A soft voice called out to me and my eyes flew open and I shot up from my seat.

Just by looking at the doctor I felt a ice-cold blanket fell upon me, and almost instinctively, I cleared my face of the convoluted emotions that were ripping my insides to shreds.

Clearing my throat and nodding a bit I spoke before they could tell me what I already knew.

"Could you please inform me where I need to go to sign the proper paperwork, please?"

Even to my own ears, my voice sounded dead and impassive, and in that moment, I resigned myself to the inevitable 360 my entire life was about to take

. Nurse Sarah stepped forward from behind the doctor who looked at me with sad and compassionate blue eyes. "Come on sweetie, I'll show you the way," she told me in a soft voice.

I nodded and followed her silently feeling myself shift into auto-pilot. I needed to be strong and get things done. I knew this would hit me hard eventually but for now there were things to be done.

So? Whatta y'all think? I lotsa help from my Beta with my awful grammar so bless her heart for being able to shuffle threw my rough draft and produce something readable. Also a Huge thanks to JazMitch for giving me some much needed advice and feedback. I would love to know what ya'll think so please review!

Lotsa Love, Winter

p.S

Can anyone recommend a good fic or book series?

I recommend The Janet Evanovich Series it's brilliant and if you have read it then check out JazMitch's Fics there fantastic!(: