A/N: Once again, I am very sorry for updating much later than I initially intended, but I'm here now! One of my excuses for things that interrupted my writing in May was that I spent a good 5 days or so marathon-reading the Attack On Titan manga, so I'm all caught up now! I've taken down the previous disclaimer I had saying that I hadn't read it yet. I'm really glad I read it too because first of all it's just really good, but it also helped me get a clearer picture of where exactly I want to go with all of this! Plus I feel more comfortable deviating from the source material now that I know what exactly I'm deviating from. So I'll stop rambling now, without further ado…
"I have sent for a warrior
From on my knees
Make me a Hercules
I was meant to be
A warrior please
Make me a Hercules."
~Sara Bareilles, "Hercules"
Chapter 3: Threshold
Mikasa woke up first the next morning. She blinked her eyes for a moment, the canopy of trees above her coming into focus. The sky peeking through them was already starting to glow faintly with the first rays of morning sun. She sat up, glancing over at Eren, still sleeping soundly on his blanket a few feet away from hers, then picked up the scarf she'd folded and put on the blanket beside her while she slept so she could wind it carefully around her neck again.
She stood quietly, trying not to wake Eren, but paused for a moment to let her gaze linger. He looked so different in his sleep. From the day she'd spent with him, she could already tell he wasn't a person one would usually describe as peaceful, but as he slept that was exactly how he looked: angelic, almost. The hard lines that creased his eyes most of the time were smoothed out, and his breathing was calm, his chest rising and falling at an even pace. An odd feeling came over Mikasa in that moment, a strange sort of warmth spreading from her chest. She felt it reach her cheeks and turned away quickly, giving her head a shake, chiding herself inwardly for staring.
Mikasa turned her focus back to the initial thought she'd had when getting up. She crept quietly out of the clearing where they'd set up camp, looking around for another lookout spot along the perimeter like the one where they'd watched the sunset the night before. Finally she found a nice one facing East, further away than she'd hoped but not far enough that she couldn't find her way back. She'd arrived just in time too, as the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon.
Seeing the first sunrise of her new life should be just as important as watching the first sunset, Mikasa had decided. Sunrises had completely different feelings than sunsets, of course: they were the beginnings, the new chances. They were pastels and cool breezes and singing birds and everything that Mikasa was basking in as she stood on the cliff's edge. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly.
Today was the day.
Eren had called the Survey Corps "home" but Mikasa remained doubtful. Eren's kindness bordered on unnatural based off of most of the other people Mikasa had interacted with, and she sincerely doubted everyone else would be as accepting as he'd been so far. Excitement and anxiety were starting to twist uncomfortably in her stomach the more she thought about it, the two emotions at war with each other. Suddenly the sunrise didn't look quite as beautiful.
She was just starting to feel slightly dizzy when a sudden shout jerked her out of her spiraling thoughts.
"There you are!"
Eren came charging out of the trees, out of breath, his sudden appearance causing Mikasa to give a start. She felt her foot slip behind her, and suddenly the world was slipping away and all she saw was the sky. In that moment, everything felt like it had gone into slow motion. Her brain was having trouble processing anything at all.
Am I… falling?
But the reality began to hit as her stomach dropped out and her heart began to race. All she knew for a blinding moment was panic- a scraping, sliding noise, and then the world was jerking back to a halt as Eren's hand closed around hers. Everything righted itself again, and for the second time in two days she was falling into him. But this time, the force of him pulling her sent them both falling back the other way, Mikasa landing on top of Eren with a sickening thud. She pulled her head up and found herself staring directly into his piercing eyes, inches away.
They froze that way for a moment, staring at each other and breathing hard in shock.
"Sorry," Eren said finally, his voice nearly at a whisper. "I didn't mean to scare you, I just… I woke up and you weren't there."
Mikasa stared at him for one more breathless moment before she finally came back to her senses. She hurriedly scrambled back off Eren like he'd burned her, feeling like her face actually was burning
"No I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "You just surprised me."
Eren smiled, standing up and offering a hand out to pull her up too, which she accepted.
"Seriously, you don't need to be sorry. It's my fault, I'm the one who nearly scared you over a cliff. What were you doing out here anyway?"
Mikasa glanced back out at the view but the sun was completely over the hill now, the morning colors in the sky gone.
"I was just watching the sunrise."
Eren nodded like he knew exactly why she'd want to do so.
"Think you're ready to head out soon? We're only a couple hours away from headquarters."
Mikasa took a deep breath and nodded back, her stomach lurching uncomfortably again.
"Don't worry too much," Eren said, trying to put on another encouraging smile. But Mikasa did not miss that this one didn't look nearly as convincing. "It's going to be fine."
"Headquarters" for the Survey Corps turned out to be an old castle just outside of Wall Rose. As it emerged into view from between the trees, Mikasa's breath caught for just a moment.
"Kinda nice, isn't it?" Eren asked, watching the amazed look on her face with amusement.
They'd almost freed themselves of the forest but Eren stopped suddenly, causing Mikasa to do the same behind him. He glanced back at her, putting a finger to his lips as a signal to be quiet. Mikasa obeyed, and in seconds she heard it too: footsteps coming their way, accompanied by voices. Every inch of Eren was on edge, listening with the utmost focus, until Mikasa saw him visibly relax and break into a smile.
"Armin!" he called, starting towards the voices now. Mikasa paused, unsure whether to follow.
"Eren?" one of the voices shouted. It was soon followed by another one, this one much less friendly-sounding.
"Jaeger?"
"Oh great," Mikasa heard Eren mutter under his breath. But he raised his voice to answer again. "One and the same! How goes it, horse-face?"
And finally two men were crashing through the trees to meet them, each carrying a pile of chopped wood. One was shorter with a kind face and blonde hair, and the other was tall with a longer face that was currently crunched into a scowl.
"I thought we were done with the horse-face thing. And where have you been?! You've been gone for three days!"
"We're never going to be done with the horse-face thing. And I had an... Errand to run."
Eren turned to look at Mikasa, and for the first time the two newcomers took notice of her. Mikasa watched both of their eyes go wide.
"Guys... This is Mikasa. She's going to join the Corps. Mikasa, this is Armin," he gestured to the blond boy, "and Jean," he gestured to the other. "But you can call him horse-face."
"No she- don't call me- would you grow up, Jaeger?" Jean growled, his face turning deep scarlet. "And what do you mean she's joining up? Recruitment was weeks ago, and no one wanted to join. As usual..."
"Eren..." Armin started gently, his face creased with worry. "Where did you find her?"
"Does it matter?" Eren challenged, suddenly disgruntled.
"A little! The Captain already isn't happy with how you just took off. And well... I didn't know you were going to bring her with you..."
"You knew about this?" Jean asked, glaring at Armin suspiciously, but both other men ignored him.
"I don't really care what the Captain thinks," Eren said, emphasizing the word "captain" derisively. "She's staying."
Armin sighed, shaking his head at his friend's stubborn streak. "I hope you're right."
Mikasa didn't know what to say about any of this. She wished she could sink through the forest floor or float away in the sky, just be anywhere else than that very spot at the moment. But Armin finally seemed to take notice of her discomfort and his worry lines softened as he smiled at her.
"I'm sorry Mikasa, I didn't mean to make you feel unwelcome. It's nice to meet you."
"Yeah," Jean intercut quickly. "It's really nice to meet you…"
There was something in the taller man's gaze that made Mikasa very uneasy. It wasn't anything openly menacing or threatening, but nevertheless it made her want to hide herself, get as far away from him as possible. She'd seen that look before.
"You okay?" Eren's voice whispered in her ear, and she jumped a little, realizing she'd reached for his arm without realizing. She let it drop quickly the second her action had registered with her, but he and the other two men were all still looking at her with concern. Thinking she was probably just imagining things, Mikasa gave herself an inward shake.
"Yes, I'm fine," she said finally, relieved to hear her voice come out without even a quiver. "Sorry. It's nice to meet both of you as well."
She nodded at both Jean and Armin in turn. They still looked very confused at her stricken reaction to Jean but did not say anymore on the matter.
"We should probably get inside," Armin said. "Like I said, Eren, the Captain isn't happy with you at all."
"Whatever," Eren scoffed, sending a small smile Mikasa's way. "He can bring it on."
The Survey Corps headquarters was not as fancy as the castle's exterior might suggest. In fact it was relatively plain, Mikasa observed as they walked through the front doorway. There were no decorations adorning the walls or the floors. She did notice, however, that everything was incredibly neat; there wasn't a speck of dust to be seen, even in the furthest corners of the halls.
"It's not much, but it's been home for awhile now," Eren said, noticing Mikasa's surveying gaze.
Jean and Armin broke off to go put their firewood in the bin out back, but Armin glanced back worriedly from halfway down the hall.
"Good luck! I'll come find you guys in a little bit."
When they'd gone, Eren motioned for Mikasa to keep following him.
"We're going to have to deal with Levi at some point anyway, might as well get it over with."
"Who's Levi?"
"The Captain. We're his squad, technically, so he calls the shots. But don't worry, just be yourself and you'll be fine. He'll see what I see in you, I know it."
Mikasa blinked at him. Be herself? She still wasn't even sure what it meant to "be herself," but she let the matter go, trying to believe in Eren's confidence. She took a few deep breaths, willing her racing heart to settle down.
Levi's office door was open when they approached it, and the man inside was not at all what Mikasa had expected. He was sitting at the desk but not facing it, instead facing the window behind it, propping his feet up in the opening. It wasn't at all the kind of professional pose she would have thought to find a Captain in. And he wasn't even doing any work, just sitting there, clicking the tips of his shiny black boots lazily, not having noticed them walk up.
"Captain," Eren said finally, announcing their presence. Slowly, Levi turned his head to the side while hardly even moving the rest of his body, like a strange overgrown owl. The way Armin had talked outside, Mikasa half expected some sort of explosion from the Captain the minute he so much as caught a glimpse of Eren, but as he took in their appearance his eyes betrayed nothing. He merely swung his legs down from the window and stood up, his entire face deadpan, and that was when Mikasa realized just how short he was.
"Where have you been?" he asked, directing the question to Eren. His voice was just as dead as his eyes, not betraying a hint of emotion of any kind. It sent a chill down Mikasa's spine, and suddenly she understood why Armin had looked so intimidated at the thought of the Captain's anger.
"I've brought us a new recruit," Eren said, motioning for Mikasa to step forward. She did so, trying to hold her head high under Levi's scrutinizing gaze. Levi didn't say a word or so much as lift an eyebrow as he took in Mikasa's appearance. She'd cleaned up and looked much neater now, but she knew she still probably looked scrawny and malnourished, a fact she tried not to look worried about.
Finally, Levi muttered, "Jaeger, we need to talk. Alone."
Eren tensed, stepping closer to Mikasa. "No! Whatever you need to say to me you can say in front of her too."
"No," Levi said, hardly raising his voice at all yet letting Eren know with the cold finality of his tone that the matter was non-negotiable. "I can't."
Eren looked like he was about to argue more nevertheless, so Mikasa cut in quickly.
"It's okay, Eren. I can just wait outside."
Eren sighed, his shoulders slowly slumping in surrender as he met her gaze.
"I'm sorry," he said. "We'll call you back inside to join again in a minute, I promise."
Levi said nothing to confirm or deny, so Mikasa just turned and left, shutting the door firmly behind her.
"What the hell was that about? You hardly even talked to her!" Eren rounded on Levi the second Mikasa had gone, his blood boiling.
"Eren, you have been gone for three days. Not a word to anyone where you went. If anyone in the higher ranks knew we'd lost track of you like this they'd throw you right back in that dungeon or worse, you know that right?"
"I was careful! Even the Military Police didn't catch on to me."
"You talked to the Military Police?"
"In… disguise…"
Levi couldn't stop an eyeroll, which ruffled Eren even more.
"You really are an idiot."
"What was I supposed to do? I knew you and Erwin wouldn't let me go if I asked."
"So you shouldn't have gone!"
A faint growl finally creeped its way into Levi's tone now, the first time since they'd walked in that his voice had gone anywhere beyond its usual deadpan. Eren felt a small twinge of satisfaction. Sometimes Levi's incessantly indifferent exterior was infuriating.
"I'm not a kid anymore, I shouldn't even have to ask you guys for permission with everything I do anyway."
Levi's eyes narrowed. "You know why we have these rules. You're not just another member of the squad, Eren. You're carrying a lot more than just your own life on your shoulders. Or had you forgotten?"
Eren lowered his eyes a little, grinding his teeth in frustration. He knew Levi was right. Levi was almost always right. It pissed him off.
"No. I haven't."
Levi regarded him coldly. "Good. I'm not saying it's easy to shoulder your weight, but you don't have any other choice. If you pull this shit again I won't have any choice but to send out my own search parties for you, and you don't want that. So why in fuck's sake was it so important to you to bring that girl back here?"
"Well I wasn't exactly always planning to bring her-"
"And yet you show up with her, no military training whatsoever, and just expect me to put her on the squad, no questions asked?"
"Well not exactly, but if you'd just let her show you-"
"Eren I don't know what the hell you're thinking but that girl-"
"HER NAME IS MIKASA!" Eren shouted, having reached his breaking point, tired of hearing Levi refer to her like she was some stain he'd gotten on his favorite white handkerchief. Levi finally shut up, staring at him. Eren took a few deep breaths, letting the silence in the room ring satisfactorily for a second.
"Stop calling her 'that girl.' Her name is Mikasa Ackerman."
Levi froze at that. Eren could see something pass behind the Captain's dark eyes, though he didn't know what exactly it was or what had triggered it.
"Bring her back in," Levi ordered.
Once back outside of the Captain's office, Mikasa slumped against the wall dejectedly. There was no way that man was going to let her stay here, she could tell just looking at his expression. What was she going to do now? She buried her face in her scarf, trying to quell the tremors that were starting to course through her at the thought of having to be on her own again. Maybe Eren had only been there for a couple of days now but she was starting to get so used to him…
"Mikasa? Are you okay?"
She started and looked up to find Armin standing over her looking worried again.
"Armin! I…"
But her voice trailed off as her eyes shifted back to the closed doorway. She could hear raised voices talking from within now, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Armin's gaze followed Mikasa's, his eyes widening as he began to hear the remnants of the argument as well. He sighed and shook his head.
"I tried to warn him… But of course he never listens."
Armin sank down next to Mikasa against the hard stone wall.
"It's okay. I'll wait with you."
Mikasa blinked at him. "You don't have to do that."
"Maybe not, but I'd like to. Unless you want to be alone?" he gave her a small smile. She regarded him for a moment longer before shaking her head in answer.
"Yeah, I kind of figured."
Silence fell between them again as Mikasa went back to trying to make out words in the mess of voices drifting through the doorway, but it was no use.
"Eren really doesn't seem to like the Captain, does he?" she observed aloud. Armin leaned his head back against the wall, looking up thoughtfully.
"It wasn't always like that. When we were kids, Eren really looked up to Levi. He always wanted to join the Survey Corps, and Levi was his hero. For a long time after we first joined up, Eren had nothing but respect for Levi. But over the last few years, things have gotten a little more… tense. It's kind of hard to explain… they've just… they've had some disagreements about some pretty important things. And Levi's the boss so he usually wins out, and Eren doesn't like that."
Mikasa didn't press Armin for more details. She could tell from his halting speech that he wasn't telling the full story, but she didn't want to get him in trouble by making him tell her more than he was allowed. Instead, she changed the subject.
"And you… are you a close friend of Eren's?"
Armin's smile returned then.
"We grew up together, back in Shiganshina. He's been my best friend as long as I can remember. He was the only one who ever defended me when I was getting bullied by other kids. Sure, he usually just wound up getting himself beaten up too, but it was nice to know someone cared enough to try and stick up for me. We were in Shiganshina together when the Titans attacked, we moved to the interior together when we were all forced to evacuate, and then we joined the military together," Armin sighed again, his voice suddenly heavy. "He's like a brother to me. And I guess once you've lost all the rest of your family, you do all you can to hang on to what you've still got left, you know?"
To her great embarrassment, Mikasa could feel tears starting to pool in her eyes again. Yes, she was starting to think she knew exactly what he meant. But what did she still have to hang on to? A group of people she had yet to fully meet that probably didn't even want her here? An amazing boy who had saved her life but that she barely knew? She tried to force the tears back, but Armin noticed.
"What did they take from you?"
Mikasa took a shaky breath. "My parents. They weren't killed by Titans though."
"Mine weren't either," Armin murmured, so quietly Mikasa barely heard him. She looked over at him, slightly startled by his answer, but before she could enquire further Levi's office door was springing open again and Eren was standing there with his eyes alight.
"Mikasa! You can come back inside now. I think the Captain is ready to listen."
Mikasa held her head high as she re-entered the room, trying hard not to let Levi's stern gaze phase her this time.
"Eren tells me your name is Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman. Is that true?"
Mikasa glanced at Eren, surprised he'd remember her surname when it must have been years since he'd heard it.
"Yes, sir."
Levi nodded slowly.
"Eren, leave please. I'd like to speak with Mikasa alone now."
Mikasa felt a jolt in her chest and unconsciously took a step closer to Eren.
"Um…"
She sent him another look, sure her eyes were full of fear. Eren seemed to catch on quickly.
"I think she'd feel better if I stayed…"
Levi pursed his lips, thinking it over.
"Fine Jaeger, you can stay. But nothing we discuss here leaves this room. Got it?"
Mikasa and Eren both nodded, though Mikasa wondered why the secrecy was so necessary. What did he want to ask?
When Levi was sure the door was shut tight and no one was listening outside, he finally headed back to his desk, leaning against it to face Mikasa again.
"Miss Ackerman…" he began. "Where are you from?"
"Shiganshina," Mikasa answered promptly. "My parents and I lived in the mountains just north of the rest of town."
"Same town as Jaeger and Arlert then?"
"Yes."
"And where did you go after Wall Maria was taken?"
Silence fell. Mikasa stared down the Captain but couldn't manage to find her voice to get out the truth she knew she had to tell.
"It's not like… It's not the same as…" Eren had cut in now. She realized he'd stepped closer to her again. "Please don't make her talk about this!"
"I need to know who I'm letting on the squad. If you seem like you've got potential on the battlefield, that is."
Mikasa's heart leapt. He was giving her a chance... This was an unexpected change of heart. She had to take advantage of it.
"...But do you have to make her re-live her entire past?" Eren was saying in a further protest to Levi, but Mikasa put a placating hand on his shoulder. She'd already made her decision. He went still at her touch, turning to look at her.
"It's okay, Eren. I can tell him."
Eren nodded slowly, reading the resolve in her eyes, but he turned to continue to glare at Levi as Mikasa took a deep breath to speak. Though she had taken her hand from Eren's shoulder, she could still feel him close at her side and it made her feel braver somehow. She met Levi's eyes.
"My home was broken into by sex traffickers when I was 9. They had the intention of kidnapping my mother and I because of our heritage and sell us into slavery, but my mother fought back. As a result, she and my father were both killed, and I was taken alone after watching them die."
She spoke the words but tried very hard to not actually picture that day again, because if she delved too far back into that memory she knew she wouldn't be able to continue. Eren and Levi were both watching her in dead silence. Levi remained as impassive in his exterior as ever but Eren's eyes has gone wide and bright and his hands had balled into fists at his sides.
"Eren's father, Dr. Jaeger, was supposed to make a house call that day, just to give us check-ups, and I guess he brought Eren..." She looked over at him again now.
"He brought me along because he wanted me to meet you," Eren interjected quietly, gazing at her with a pained expression. His voice was slightly hoarse. "He thought I could use another friend my age."
Mikasa didn't know what to say. She could feel herself on the verge of tears again all the sudden, though she wasn't entirely sure why. And now was not the moment for any of that. She looked hurriedly back at Levi.
"They saw what the kidnappers did and Eren figured out where I was. He came to save me, but we were only kids. It was too late."
Levi nodded slowly. "And let me guess, you never forgot you couldn't save her, did you, Jaeger?"
Eren's ears tinged red and he shook his head. Mikasa tried to come to his rescue by continuing.
"I was sold to a whore house not long afterwards and I was there ever since until Eren came and got me the day before last. And then... Then he brought me here," she finished.
"So you were 9 when when you were taken and you're the same age Jaeger... That would put you there for ten years. And you're positive that was the only place you ever went during that entire period of time?"
"Yes sir."
Levi nodded one more time. "Okay. I've heard all I need. Let's take this out to the field to see what you've got."
Mikasa stayed close to Eren as they followed Levi out back to the training area.
"Will this be hard?" she whispered, trying not to show how much her knees were shaking as they walked. Before they'd left, Levi had sent her to change into a white top and and pants along with tall brown boots, looped around with strange strappy leather gear that she was still trying to get used to. Eren had told her it was official Survey Corps uniform, or at least most of it.
"You'll get a jacket and cape and everything once you're in!" he'd said. Now, as he watched her shaking next to him, he tried to smile reassuringly.
"I honestly can't say for sure. But he knows you're new at this, so there's no way he'll be too hard on you... Just relax and you'll be fine."
But it was very hard to relax when it felt like so much was riding on whatever test Levi was about to impose on her. He led them across a sandy field that looked like it was primarily used for sparring and over to a spot where two posts were planted in the ground. There were metal rigging devices attached to each of them on both sides with wires hanging off that Levi walked up to begin adjusting.
"The first thing all trainees have to learn is how to use the three-dimensional maneuvering gear. It's the most effective means of killing Titans, and therefore of the utmost importance to learn if you're planning on trying to be a Scout," he explained as he worked.
"It's pretty much just a balancing act. I had some trouble with it at first, but you just need center your weight against the equipment," Eren put in.
"If you can't learn how to at least stay up on this, there's no way I can teach you anything more. You can have a few tries at it, because you probably won't get it on the first, but I'll be able to tell pretty quickly if you're a hopeless case. Step forward please." Levi motioned for Mikasa to approach the posts now that he was done adjusting the wires. He attached them to the gear around her waist.
"I'm going to hoist you up. Balance your weight with the equipment, just like Eren said. On the count of three…"
Mikasa looked down at her feet and inhaled deeply. But before Levi could do anything, they began to hear a cluster of voices coming from the forest behind them.
"But why would he cause all of that trouble just for one girl…?"
"Are you sure you heard him right? Maybe there was something else too…?"
"I don't know, it seems just like him. He's always been an idiot, it's not like it's anything new…"
"Maybe he's in love! Looks like you're out of luck, Ann!"
"Don't call me that."
"Was she hot, Jean?"
But before Jean could answer, the group had cleared the trees and caught sight of the scene at the training equipment right in front of them. They fell silent quickly. Mikasa counted eight of them in all, led by Jean. The rest were all new faces: a skinny with closely-shaved hair hand-in-hand with a smiling girl with a brunette ponytail, a tall freckled girl with her arm slung around the shoulders of a pretty petite blonde girl, and two tall hulking men standing on either side of a severe-looking blonde girl. It seemed to be taking them all a minute to take in what was going on, but finally the boy with the shaved head broke the silence with a cheerful yell.
"Eren! You're back!"
They all went around the equipment to cluster around Eren but Mikasa caught a few curious glances being sent her way.
"Where have you been?!" the girl with the ponytail was saying as she clapped Eren on the shoulder. Levi cut in before Eren could answer.
"Can we have some quiet please? Trying to conduct a test over here."
And then all sixteen pairs of new eyes were on Mikasa. No one asked any questions; they seemed to pick up on the situation pretty quickly. She squirmed in her harness, disliking the sudden feeling of being onstage for everyone to watch and judge. But then Eren's eyes found hers and he gave her a small smile, and she felt the knot in her chest loosen a little
"On the count of three for real this time," Levi said to her. "One… two…
Three."
Mikasa's feet went into the air. It was the strangest sensation and she only had seconds to get used to it; she could feel the wires supporting her from all different directions, but almost instantly her weight began to shift, threatening to send her pitching forward to hang upside-down.
In that moment, Mikasa temporarily forgot she had an audience. It was just her and the battle with gravity. She zoned in, suddenly acutely aware of the forces acting upon her, and then instincts kicked in. Just balance them back out… not so hard. She'd battled worse before, why should a bunch of wires be so threatening?
When she looked back up, still balancing rightside-up in the harness, she was met by stunned silence. Everyone's eyes were wide in shock, and when she found Eren's face again she saw his jaw had actually dropped. She looked over at Levi for answers, puzzled, but even he took a minute to find his voice.
"It appears you're a natural," he said slowly. "First try. Not bad."
"So that's it? I'm in?"
Levi lowered Mikasa back down to the ground and walked over to start helping her out of the rigging.
"You can stay for now, but I can't make your place on the squad official until I've conferred with the Commander," he said. Then he turned his attention back to the crowd. "Jaeger, since you brought her here I'm assigning you to extra training sessions with her to see how far you can catch her up."
"Yes sir!" Eren nodded, sending a wide grin Mikasa's way. Levi turned back to her.
"Commander Erwin was called away for a meeting with the heads of the other regiments but he'll be back in a week. We'll see how much you can learn in that time period. If the Commander thinks you have potential too, you can stay for good."
"Thank you, sir," Mikasa inclined her head to him gratetfully.
"Everyone, report for lunch in an hour. In the meantime, girls please show Mikasa to where she'll be sleeping for the time being. Dismissed."
Though they'd never even been officially assembled, the Scouts obeyed their Captain's orders. Everyone scattered, beginning to mutter and send suspicious or awestruck glances Mikasa's way, but she tried to ignore it, heading back out of the spotlight towards Eren.
"That was amazing!" He exclaimed as she walked over. "First try and everything! I don't think any one of us managed that during training. I knew you were going to be good at this, I knew it!"
Mikasa opened her mouth to answer but before she could say anything the girl with the brunette ponytail and the boy with the shaved head were bombarding her as well.
"Holy shit that was unbelievable!"
"And you've never had training before?"
Mikasa shook her head.
"They're going to let you on for sure I bet, with a start like that," the boy assured her. "I'm Connie, by the way.
"I'm Mikasa," she said, nodding at him.
"Hi Mikasa! I'm Sasha!" the girl leapt forward to loop her arm through Mikasa's. "I can show you around the girl's dorms if you want! It'll be great to add another one of us to the team…"
And before she could protest, Sasha was pulling Mikasa back towards the castle. She glanced back behind her to find Eren smiling at her again. He called after them, "I'll see you at lunch, okay? Don't worry, Sasha's harmless!"
"Mostly!" Connie added with a devilish grin. Sasha didn't seem to hear. She was too busy chatting away to no one. Mikasa almost smiled, but then she caught sight of the rest of the team behind Eren and Connie. None of them looked quite as excited to have her among their ranks. Did the tall quiet boys always look so threatening, or were those just their resting facial expressions? And the blonde between them looked so thoroughly bored by the entire event, while Jean still looked generally disgruntled and the two other girls seemed more into each other than anything else. Meanwhile, Levi remained back at the training posts, staring after all of them.
Suddenly, Mikasa began to feel dizzy again so she turned her head quickly, trying to focus on what Sasha was saying. There were a few friendly faces so far, at least. She'd just focus on Sasha, Connie, Armin, and of course Eren. She couldn't worry about everyone else right now. For the first time in what she now knew had been ten long years, she had a chance for a home.
And she was not going to give it up without a fight.
The smile remained on Eren's face as he watched Sasha and Mikasa get further and further ahead of them, eventually disappearing into the castle. His heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. For once, he'd actually done something right, even righted an old wrong in the process, and things actually seemed to be turning out okay. His gut instinct about Mikasa's skills had even been right, and she was going to fit in with everyone in no time, he knew.
And he had to admit to himself, he was looking forward to spending more time with her during their extra training sessions. So they could be better friends, of course…
Just friends.
Nothing else.
He scolded himself inwardly for even allowing his thoughts to drift anywhere near the contrary. He barely knew her, after all. And she'd been through a lot of shit. He had no right to add more to that pile now.
Lost in his intrusive thoughts, Eren wandered into the castle as well, heading for his room. Once inside, he figured he might as well change out of the clothes he'd been wearing overnight. He opened one of his dresser drawers and had just tugged his shirt over his head when there was a knock on the door.
"What?"
The door opened quietly and Eren found himself looking into a familiar pair of hooded grey eyes.
"Hey."
"Oh… hey!"
"You were gone for awhile."
"Yeah… Sorry I had to…"
But she'd already shut the door and closed the distance between them in a few strides.
"I missed you."
The things she said never really seemed to reach her eyes, but then again nothing did. That was the nature of their relationship, and they both knew it. Her face was so close to his now, he could feel her breath against his lips as he reached out to pull her in.
Their arrangement had always worked out smoothly; everyone got what they wanted without the fuss. Or at least… that's what it seemed like, anyway. They'd never really sat down to discuss it for very long, as it usually just sort of happened. But Eren had never really questioned it much because it had always just seemed sort of natural.
Until today.
As he parted her lips with his to invite his tongue in, searching for the way she usually made him feel, as she ran her fingers down his naked torso, a different pair of gray eyes suddenly flashed across his vision and something jolted in the pit of his stomach. He pulled away quickly, panting.
"Wait, Annie…"
"What?"
"I just… I don't think I can do this today."
She stared at him, blankly as ever.
"Okay."
She took a step back from him wordlessly, no sign of apology or even embarrassment.
"Next time, then."
And she nodded at him, moving swiftly right back out the door almost as quickly as she'd come. Eren stared after the spot where she'd disappeared, still breathing hard, trying to comprehend what exactly had just happened. Then he put his face in his hands, collapsing back onto the bed behind him, letting out a soft moan.
Maybe this wasn't going to go as smoothly as he'd thought.
A/N: Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback I've gotten on the story so far, it's been really encouraging. I welcome all feedback. I hope you guys still stick with me, because next time Mikasa and Eren are definitely getting a lot more alone time again. And now we have this whole Annie business to sort out…
Anyway, hope to see you then!
