Not Alone

Chapter IV "This Darkened Heart"

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Seifer rubbed at his wet scalp, creating a thicker lather. Some of the soap bubbles spilled into his eyes. The sudden sting made him curse and mumble under his breath as he quickly rinsed all of the shampoo off of his head. Since he woke up he kept getting one bad moment after another. Scratch that, ever since last night when she made him feel a slim amount of worry for her it's been nothing but one bad thing after another.

Remembering the smirk on Quistis' face and the sound of her laughter only made Seifer feel a slight headache. The last time he felt so aggravated by a mere person's presence had been Squall and all of his admirers.

Seifer suddenly shut his eyes tight and desperately thought of something else. It took him months to bury all of his past memories and he wasn't going to delve into them again. Luckily, his stomach growled loud enough for him to easily think of where he could find breakfast.

He dried himself off and quickly got dressed. When he woke up a few moments ago Quistis was still asleep, and he obviously didn't want to awaken her. If she awoke then Seifer would have to wait for her to shower and get dressed. Technically he wasn't supposed to leave her alone, but he didn't feel like having breakfast with her. He held grudges easily and his ego was still sore.

As quietly as possible, Seifer opened the bathroom door slightly and peeked through the crack. He breathed easier when he saw Quistis was still asleep. The next thing he had to get was Quistis' card. Sure he had some money, but he liked the idea of having Garden treat him to breakfast.

Seifer didn't have to search very long, he quickly found the card in an outside pocket in Quistis' bag. Pocketing the card, Seifer snuck out of the room as quietly as possible. Once he was outside, Seifer pulled out the card and grinned at it. Just maybe he would prove Quistis' prediction true and treat himself and his friends to other things besides food.

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Stomach satisfied and pockets full of receipts from the things he bought, Seifer stepped into the hotel room and half expected to see Quistis glaring from a corner or something. Instead he found the room empty but could hear the shower on inside the bathroom. He glanced at his new watch it was a quarter past one and Quistis was barely showering? He shrugged and assumed she just overslept.

He only hoped she didn't notice her card was missing from her bag. He carefully stuck the card back into the bag and left it exactly how it was before he stole it. Breathing in sigh of relief, Seifer shoved all of his receipts into the bottom of his bag. He'd throw them away but he didn't want Quistis to notice them.

Thank Hyne for overnight shipping. Fujin and Raijin should be very happy with their early birthday gifts. Seifer chuckled and pulled out his Hyperion and the new gunblade cleaning kit he bought. He kicked off his boots and jumped on the bed with his things.

Perhaps an hour passed, Seifer lost track of time as he carefully cleaned every inch of Hyperion, when he wondered when Quistis would get out of the shower. He knew girls usually took long showers but he honestly didn't expect Quistis to be taking this long. Seifer shrugged again and decided to ignore it. After he was done cleaning Hyperion, he placed his things away and grabbed another gift he bought himself earlier from his pocket.

He grinned as he looked at his new music player. A new gadget that recently came out, it came with a radio, recorder, and played movies on top of playing music of course. He put the earphones on and leaned back on the bed and relaxed. Despite how boring protecting Quistis was he had to admit it was nice to relax most of the time. He only wished he could fish more often. That was the best relaxing activity he enjoyed.

Another hour passed, this time Seifer kept a close eye on the time and the shower was still on. Seifer felt the familiar, but annoying, worry creep into his gut. "What the hell instructor! How long are you going to stay in there?"

When he received no answer Seifer grew more worried. Worst case scenarios tortured his thoughts. What if she was attacked while in the shower? What if she slipped and fell and bled to death? What if she left the shower on to make him think she was in the hotel and took off somewhere? Even worse if the previous case was true what if she was attacked?

Seifer shook his head to clear his thoughts. His headphones were left forgotten on the bed and he knocked on the bathroom door. "Instructor? Answer me!"

Again, no answer came from the other side of the door. Seifer's stomach tightened as he knocked harder, which nearly knocked the door off its hinges. "Quistis!"

No answer came. That's it, Seifer thought. He tried to turn the doorknob but it was locked. Cursing loudly, Seifer slammed his shoulder into the door and sent it sprawling backwards and crashing into the tiled wall.

Seifer nearly felt nauseous as he scanned the bathroom. He found Quistis sitting in the tub with water raining down on her, but her arm and head rested on the side of the tub. Seifer's heart rate increased two fold as he hastily stepped closer to Quistis and felt for a pulse. Once he touched her she moaned softly and her eyelids lifted.

Seifer realized he was holding his breath. He sighed in relief as he watched Quistis analyze her surroundings. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Quistis' gaze transfixed onto him. Her eyes widened as she finally realized where she was and noticed her lack of clothing. Seifer stood up, rolling his eyes in the process, grabbed a towel and tossed it to her. He never bothered to turn around, he simply stood beside the shower and crossed his arms.

"Is this another joke? Pretend to pass out in the shower to get some attention?" Seifer growled dangerously.

Quistis blushed furiously as she quickly wrapped the towel around herself. She stretched a shaking hand to the bath handle and shut off the water. Her skin was incredibly wrinkled from being covered in water for so long. She stood up and nearly fell backwards, but Seifer's reflexes were quicker than hers. He was instantly beside her with his arms holding her in place.

"What in Hyne's name is wrong with you?" Seifer asked again. His eyes were narrowed in a death glare.

Quistis shook her head and lifted a hand to rub her forehead. "I...I'm just not feeling well."

Seifer laughed bitterly. "I'm not feeling well and I don't act like a high drunkard."

Quistis stood up straight, separating skin contact with Seifer in the process, and stepped over the edge of the tub. Her left foot hit the edge and sent her falling face first. Again, Seifer caught her. His face fell into a frown as he studied Quistis. Her eyes were red and he could feel her shaking. What he found more strange was despite her shaking her skin felt hot. Too hot.

He placed his hand onto her forehead, which made Quistis blush even more as she wasn't used to this much contact. Seifer sighed as he said, "great, you just caught a flu."

Quistis pulled away from Seifer. "Then it's no big deal. Now, do you mind getting out so I can change?"

Seifer crossed his arms again and scoffed. "Yes, please do change. If you pass out again I wouldn't want to see you nude. I've endured enough traumatic experiences for two lifetimes."

Quistis' blush vanished as she shut the door behind Seifer. What's wrong with me, she thought. She's gotten sick before but never to the point where she's passed out. She dismissed it as nothing but stress. It wasn't every day where she had an assassin trailing her. Her dizziness was still persistent, so to avoid falling again she had to dress while sitting down.

I feel like an old woman, she thought with a smile. She needed to see a doctor, and fast. For all she knew perhaps she was poisoned by the assassin. If that was the case then maybe there was no hiding from the assassin. She put her glasses on, hung out the wet towel neatly, and left the bathroom.

Seifer was laying on the bed with his arms resting under his head, and he was listening to music. His eyes were closed. Quistis placed her shoes on, grabbed her card, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Seifer asked suddenly. Quistis glanced at him but he was still laying on the bed with his eyes closed.

"I'd feel better if–" Quistis halted in mid sentence when she heard a beeping sound emitting from her bag. Seifer opened his eyes and watched Quistis pull out what looked like a laptop computer from a bag. She placed it on the dresser and switched it on. Immediately Squall's face appeared on the screen. Seifer sat up and pulled the headphones off. His face quickly fell into a glare as he stared at Squall's face.

"Yes, commander?" Quistis said softly. She stood in front of Seifer as if trying to shield him from Squall's vision.

"What's your status report?" Squall asked nonchalantly.

"I'm hiding temporarily in Balamb City. I plan to travel to Deiling City tomorrow and stay there for a week or two."

Squall nodded. "Then report to me again after you've arrived and settled in Deiling. Headmaster Cid wants me to make sure you arrive safely to each destination. Are you alone?"

Quistis shook her head. "Negative, Seifer is with me. But we're alone in our hotel room, if that's what you meant Squall," she winced when his name escaped from her lips.

Squall heard and frowned. "That's commander."

"Yes, sir." Quistis' eyes drifted downward.

Squall sighed. He caught a glimpse of Seifer, but didn't want to stay long enough to allow him to open his mouth. "Have you had any troubles in Balamb?"

"No, sir."

"Great, this concludes the meeting." Then the laptop screen went black.

Quistis silently placed the laptop back into her bag, but sorrow was etched across her face. Seifer noticed and smirked. "What crawled up his ass? He's a commander now? Who'd he screw to get that position?"

Quistis' face fell lower and Seifer nearly kicked himself. He hadn't meant his last question to come out like it did. Then it dawned on him. It was one thing to have an awkward tension between two people that blindly slept with each other, but he recognized the hatred in Squall's eyes as he glared at Quistis.

"Why is he so angry at you?" The words came out faster than Seifer's self control. Half of him didn't really care about Quistis and Squall's history, but another part of him was curious.

Quistis sat on the chair and placed her head in her hands, her fingers were rubbing her temples. "What do you care?"

Seifer frowned. "Fine, I offer an ear and you bite my head off." Seifer stood and headed for the door. He didn't feel like staying in the room if Quistis was only going to brood. He gripped the doorhandle when Quistis said, "wait."

"I'm sorry." Quistis whispered as she stared at the floor. "I'm just not used to anyone willing to listen to me."

"Don't flatter yourself, your sob stories bore the hell out of me." Seifer replied as he sat back down on the bed.

"Then why do you listen to me?" Quistis asked, her eyes never lifting.

Seifer shrugged. "It's amusing."

Quistis sighed. "So I'm just some joker to entertain you?"

"Yup, something like that." Seifer grinned. "So as you were saying? Why puberty boy hates you even though you turned him into a man. Or at least half of one."

Quistis kicked her shoes off and pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them. "Despite what we did meant nothing between us, Rinoa eventually ended their relationship."

Seifer laughed. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess why...her dream wedding was ruined, right? Am I right?"

Quistis frowned as she stared into his cyan eyes. "Well, she told Squall that she didn't think he truly loved her. She said that if he truly loved her he wouldn't even think about wanting to sleep with anyone. But it wasn't his fault, his concussion made him delusional. If anything he thought it was Rinoa he was...was..."

"Screwing?" Seifer smirked.

Quistis winced. "Squall was, still is, devastated. Nothing was his fault, but Rinoa still broke up with him. I tried to talk to Rinoa, but she refused to stay in the same room with me, let alone look or talk to me. Selphie, Irvine and Zell tried to talk to her but she's stubborn."

"Tell me about it." Seifer rolled his eyes. "She has that stupid belief that two people in love should wait to sleep with each other until after they're married."

Quistis' eyes lit up. "Then that's why she ended their relationship." But then her face fell again and her eyes returned to their dull color. "Then I did ruin their relationship. And Squall deserves to hate me."

"He'll get over it." Seifer leaned back against his pillow and was putting his earphones on again. "If anything you did him a favor. It was only a matter of time until he grew tired of her and sought out another woman to satisfy his needs."

Quistis opened her mouth to add something, but she could hear the music blast through Seifer's headphones and she knew it'd be pointless to say anything more. Her intense body heat suddenly reminded her of her earlier task. She got her shoes back on, but when she stood she was struck by another dizzy spell. She tried to steady herself or hope to fall forward towards the bed, but instead she fell backwards and her head connected with the dressers corner edge.

Seifer felt the impact and lifted his head. He saw Quistis on the floor again and sighed. "Damn, how many times are you going to fall over?" He yanked his earphones off in frustration and jumped onto his feet. "This is getting really old."

Quistis moaned and rubbed at the back of her head, when she looked at her hand it was covered in blood. She moaned again as the pain kicked in and now she was starting to feel nauseous. She felt Seifer's strong hands grip onto her arms and shoulders, she cried out when an acute pain erupted from her injured shoulder. Seifer pulled her onto her feet, but she seemed to feel more dizzy when she was standing. She swayed.

Seifer mumbled angrily under his breath, "oh for the love of Hyne!" He lifted Quistis into his arms and nearly tossed her onto the bed. "You're so useless." He noted the blood on Quistis' hand. He waited for Quistis to heal her head, but when she didn't he rose an eyebrow.

Quistis shifted on the bed so she'd get comfortable. When she moved Seifer noticed more blood stained the pillow. There was a lot of it. "Your head. You should heal it before you bleed to death."

The ex-instructor waved her bloodied hand. "It's nothing, just a simple cut."

Seifer snickered. "A simple cut doesn't bleed all over a pillow. I swear, instructor you are just so weird sometimes." He didn't wait to touch Quistis' blood, but he didn't want her to die either. His money depended on her life. He placed his hand onto Quistis' head and healed it.

"I can't lay here, I need to see a doctor." Quistis replied.

Seifer shook his head. "No you don't. We're supposed to be keeping a low profile, and why see a doctor if you already know you just have a simple flu?" He looked at his hand in disgust, it was covered with blood. He rushed to the bathroom to wash his hands.

Quistis coughed again. "It doesn't feel like a simple flu. I've been sick before, but never felt this awful. I'd feel better if I just visited a doctor."

"That's still a problem. Even though we dyed our hair color and are supposed to address each other with different names in public, we still don't have any ID. And to see a doctor in this city I believe we need to have ID. If you give your real ID then our cover is blown. And you know how people like to make a big deal about the Quistis Trepe." Seifer explained.

Quistis frowned. "We do have our fake ID's. We used them when we bought your fishing equipment yesterday."

Seifer scratched the back of his head. "Actually, I sort of lost them."

Quistis groaned, "Seifer."

"Hey! I had them in my pocket, but they floated out when I dove into the ocean to save your pathetic ass!" Seifer felt the rush of adrenaline, but took a deep breath to calm himself. Without those fake ID's he couldn't even buy any alcohol.

Quistis sighed. "You wouldn't have lost them if you hadn't shoved me into that cold water. And that's probably why I got sick."

Seifer laughed. "Hello? I got into the water too, idiot, and I'm not falling all over the place like a drunken whore."

Quistis' face fell. She closed her eyes and turned her face to look in the other direction. She didn't want Seifer to see the look of defeat on her face.

"Wait, where are you going?" Quistis asked, she noticed Seifer was heading towards the door.

"I'm going to go crazy if I stay another minute in this hell hole." Seifer paused. He wasn't satisfied just leaving in this state. The child in him urged him to continue picking a fight with Quistis. "I don't know why I even signed up for this crap job. Baby-sitting you is so incredibly tedious."

Quistis frowned and her eyebrow twitched. Then she mumbled under her breath, more to herself but she said it loud enough for Seifer to hear, "if it were Squall he wouldn't complain."

It was Seifer's eyebrow that twitched next. His body suddenly felt hot and his arms tingled, he was angry. He turned and glared at his ex-instructor. "No dear instructor, if it were Squall you'd be screwing his brains out. That's hardly anything a guy would complain about. Even then, I doubt you could hold onto Squall long enough for him to actually care for your well being. He'd choose to protect Rinoa over you any day." With that, Seifer walked out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him.

Quistis winced. She hadn't meant for what she said to be so loud. And she had to admit that Seifer was right. Squall would never take on such a mission that would keep him separated from Rinoa for too long, even if they weren't together anymore. The thought of no one actually wanting to protect her made her chest tighten to the point where she couldn't breathe correctly. Her eyes stung and tears swelled and clouded her vision. She closed her eyes and allowed the tears to roll down her flushed cheeks.

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Seifer nearly felt guilty about leaving Quistis behind, and alone. But no amount of money would ever make him stay with Quistis twenty four hours, seven days a week. He needed his space every once in a while. With no weapon he had nothing to do but to walk around town. When night time came he bought dinner for himself and helped himself to flirting with the waitress to get a free beer or two.

Once he felt calm, he returned to the hotel room to find Quistis in the same position. She was asleep, but still coughed every few moments. Her face was flushed and her hair was damp and clung to her face and neck. He touched her face and frowned, her skin was incredibly warm.

Suddenly guilt caved onto his shoulders. It was his fault for throwing Quistis into the water. If anything, it was his fault that Quistis got sick. He was just lucky he didn't suffer the same condition. Quistis coughed again, but more violently. The sound of her cough made his throat hurt.

There's nothing I can do now, he thought. He dressed into his pajama pants and put a shirt on, it felt a bit chilly in the room. He grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge and drained it in three gulps. Then he settled on the chair listening to his music and proceeded to sharpen Hyperion.

The persistent guilt nagged at his head. He continuously glanced at Quistis in worry. Perhaps she did need a doctor. What if she was somehow poisoned while he was away in the morning? If that was the case they needed to get on the road again. At least in Deiling they could get lost in the crowded city. There he knew several doctors that would make home visits. More importantly, he had an old friend that could make fake ID's.

Seifer put Hyperion away and scanned Quistis' bag for the train tickets. Once he found them he rushed to the train station and was able to use his charm to convince the receptionist to exchange the train tickets for new ones that would leave in an hour.

The ex-knight rushed back to the hotel room and packed his and Quistis' bags. Amongst the noise Quistis awoke. "Seifer? What're you doing?"

Seifer holstered Quists' bag strap over his shoulder, along wit his own, and searched the room for Quistis' shoes. When he found them, he gave them to Quistis. "We're leaving for Deiling, now. Put these on."

Quistis slowly sat up and obeyed. Her senses were fogged and she couldn't really compute much. To save increasing the ache of her headache, she didn't bother to ask any questions and just did as Seifer asked.

"I think it's best we left now. At Deiling I know a guy that can hook us up with some ID's. Then we can find a doctor for you. I won't be able to carry you or else we'd draw too much attention. Do you think you can walk?" Seifer asked.

Quistis stood but still swayed slightly. Seifer sighed and helped Quistis out the door. As they walked he just kept an arm wrapped around her waist and pressed her body against his to steady her. They checked out at the front desk and then made their way to the train station. With a minute to spare, they managed to catch their train.

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Seifer's jaw dropped when he stepped into an empty compartment room. The room offered a small window, two narrow seats, enough to seat two people on each, on opposite sides of each other, and a small net above each seat to carry the luggage. Seifer really was not going to enjoy the long trip to Deiling, he was used to the huge rooms with a couch, tv, and a bed. He didn't think the regular compartments would be any different than the SeeD compartments.

Disappointedly, Seifer led Quistis to a couch. Then he tossed both bags into the net above the seat. With his arms free of the heavy burdens, he stretched his arms around until they both emitted the satisfying sound of joints popping. He sat down and pulled out his music player.

While listening to a song he tapped his fingers against his knees and analyzed the room. It didn't smell very clean. Ignoring the smells, he looked at Quistis. Her eyes were barely open, but she was staring out of the window. Her skin was still flushed and she was sweating. Every time she swallowed she winced, as if her throat was too dry. The thought finally registered in Seifer's head.

He was starting to get thirsty himself, so he searched for a complementary mini fridge but didn't find one. He stood and poked his head out of the compartment, the hall was empty. "I'll be right back," he told Quistis.

After a moment he returned with two water bottles. He handed one to Quistis, who drained the bottle in less than a minute. Seifer was about to drink from his but that annoying guilt nag returned. Sighing, he handed Quistis his own bottle. She drunk every drop and tried to settle into the hard seat. Seifer couldn't sit any longer than an hour. He stood up, stretched, and paced around the tiny room. Quistis slept during the whole duration of the trip. Finally, they arrived in Deiling City.

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"Great, looks like there's a party in town." Seifer said bitterly as he helped Quistis into their new hotel room. He thanked Hyne when he spotted the television in the room. And there were two beds as well. Hell there was even a small kitchen, which was an even bigger bonus.

Quistis immediately crawled onto the bed closest to the door and crept under the bed sheets. Seifer ignored her as he tossed the bags in a corner and opened the balcony door. He stepped out and leaned against the rail. There was more than a party, it looked like some sort of ceremony.

People flooded the streets and watched in anticipation as dozens of floats passed through. It was a parade. Unwanted memories rushed through Seifer's head as he watched on. Despite the deep regret that was etched in each of his memories, he still missed those days in a way. He enjoyed the feeling of seeing so many people looking up to him. Everyone waved with such huge smiles then, the children were jumping and even some were calling out to him.

A faint smile grew on Seifer's face when he remembered what most of the kids called him. "He's the sorceress knight", they had said. Another feeling he missed was when he was the commander at Galbadia Garden. The SeeD's and soldiers respected Seifer, some even feared him. None dared to look into his eyes, and every one of them followed his every order.

Since a child he knew he was too good to be a pawn. He existed to do great things as a leader, and as a protector. There was no greater accomplishment than being unbeatable.

Seifer shook his head. Too many memories were returning. Not that he was surprised, with so much time on his hands he had nothing else to do but to delve into his thoughts. He had to stay active, keep his mind busy so it couldn't remember his past.

Seifer sighed and slumped. He continued to watch the numerous floats pass by. So far he had no clue as to what everyone was celebrating, but he didn't really care. Thanks to the road blocks he would be stuck at the hotel all night, he would have to see his friend about the fake ID's in the morning. He just hoped his friend still lived in Deiling.

His attention was suddenly distracted by a small portion of the crowd. Women were gasping, some were screaming, and others were pointing at something above them. Like a pebble thrown into still water, waves of people looked at what the crowd was pointing at and eventually everyone's attention was pulled away from the parade.

Seifer squinted his eyes. Whatever the people were pointing at, it had to be coming from the large archway in the center of the City. When he looked closer, Seifer noticed that someone was standing on top of the archway. Whoever it was, it looked like they were planning on jumping off. They were too close to the edge and just one step more and they'd fall several hundred feet down.

A snicker escaped from Seifer. This was the first time he had seen anyone try to commit suicide in public. "Pathetic attention whore," Seifer mumbled. He stood straighter and watched, waited to see if the person would take that one step forward and fall. Not that he wanted the person to jump off, but he was mesmerized and couldn't look away. Then a new nagging feeling itched the back of his head. He didn't know what it was, but it felt like he should look back.

He finally gave in and looked behind him and into the room. Nothing was there, or rather no one. He shrugged and looked back at the archway, the person was still standing on top. A moment passed when Quistis' absence seeped into his senses. His heart rate raced as he looked back again at the bed, Quistis was not in it. He glanced at the bathroom but the door was wide open and the lights were off.

A new feeling begged him to look at the archway again. He ran to the balcony and squinted his eyes. He continued to stare at the person on top of the archway. After a moment of forcing his eyes to focus, he barely made out a female shaped figure. His heart raced faster, he was also able to see that the person's hair was black.

Just seeing a dark haired female on top of the archway wasn't enough to reveal that it was Quistis on top of the archway, but something in Seifer told him it was her. Why she was up there he didn't know, all that mattered was that he got there to stop her from jumping. He raced out of the room and ran down the stairs, he wouldn't have time to wait for the elevator. He never would have guessed that he'd have to protect Quistis from herself.

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A/N: Thanks to reviewers I've fixed the mistakes in the chapter.