Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to the Gainax Company. The Darkness belongs to Top Cow Productions. I do not own either series in any way or form. I am not receiving any money for this project. This is something spawned from my fandom of two incredible series.


Antiheroes of Eva: Deepest Darkness
Chapter IV


What little remained of the four week sentence went by without further incident. The commander did not come down with another beating or make another attempt on his life. It even seemed that the roaming jail keepers had become less troublesome. The young prisoner did not allow it to get to him and would continue to grow until his time was served. He went on to spend every waking hour working into his training regiment, overcoming every new plateau and cutting away the fading weakness dealt to him by his tragic childhood. It was his ambition to do away with the meek nature which had come to characterize his former persona. Shinji Ikari intended to come away from his unjust punishment a phoenix from its own ashes, reborn with a new vigor and determination to make his own place in the world.

The four week marker came and went, but no one came to release him from the dismal solitude of the stockade. He was suspicious on the morning when most of the other nine prisoners were moved out of the prison and sent elsewhere. It was no coincidence when conditions became much worse. It began with the stockade thermostat being cranked up and down to extremes of hot and cold, neither one remotely comfortable. The terrible rations were soon reduced to one serving which came every one or two days. The water ration came down to one bottle to the week and the waste bucket was not removed. The demonic imps made errands around the complex while the young warrior resumed training with renewed determination. His own roaring hatred did not sate his hunger and fatigue, but it did not allow him to succumb.

It soon came to the point that his patience was run down and worked into a fine powder. He did not regret his own decision to keep in the dark for the moment, but there was not much to keep him true to that choice. The growing urge to rip down the door and eviscerate that filicidal tyrant before running off into the night was about to drive him mad. He was determined to hold out on revenge and prolong the revelation of his ancient birthright, but it was too hard. He dreamt day and night about taking bloody revenge for the trauma and misfortune which had befallen him since coming to Tokyo-3. He had entire rants written out in his mind, to roar out in the moment he paid back his parent for an entire lifetime of abuse and abandonment. Shinji Ikari soon got to the point that he just wanted hurt someone.

Three months went by in that tiny room…

His liberation came around the same time he was pondering how to fashion a powerful bomb to bring the entire stockade down around him.

The young prisoner awoke one morning to one of the jailers knocking on his door, ordering him to wake up. The demonic minions came around within moments to report an armed contingent of security officers coming down to the stockade. The vicious imps watched the men come down the walkway and soon realized that there would be no need for bloodshed. The hoard knew that the suited soldiers were not meant to be there under normal circumstances. It showed in the way the lot of them would keep watch and one or two kept their pistols drawn. The six men did not keep watch to avoid being seen, but the lot of them were poised for a confrontation in the narrow corridors. The contingent lead was quick to open the lonely chamber, making sure they were picking up the right prisoner before making a quick exodus.

The young prisoner was soon being marched out of the stockade with an urgency which denied him the decency of a warm shower. He was escorted down a couple more corridors and the confusion rose with how their pointman would look around corners before moving on. It was obvious that someone did not want anyone to know he was being sprung from the stockade. The entourage soon came to one of the transit waypoints known to dot the subterranean complex and this one was just one of the many used by agency personnel. It was quite curious that there was a railcar waiting for them. The next surprise came when one of the men removed the handcuffs and shoved him forward into the transport. He hit the ground hard and the twin doors slammed shut right before the power kicked in.

Shinji Ikari was sent on his way to the surface without the covert escort and it was quite suspicious when one considered the commander's recent behavior. Shinji was not comfortable being alone on the transport. He was aware that being alone in the lone railcar would have given someone the best opportunity to take him out without witnesses. He could imagine cowardly snipers camping just down the tunnel or some paid gunman waiting at the next waypoint. He knew a bomb could be hidden in the cabin, but knew some simple sabotage would be enough to derail the railcar. He knew it would not be so simple to get the drop on him with an army of demonic minions watching from every nook and cranny where shadow could be found. It did not keep him from worrying.

Shinji did not look away from the prominent shadows and took no time to admire the view of the Geofront. The whole situation put him on edge for the duration of the ride. He went a good minute waiting, but his suspicions did not come true and the railcar went on without incident. He was not happy. He wanted to hurt someone and wanted even more to have an excuse. "Coward…"

It took six minutes for the railcar to come to rest and the young man stepping out into a waypoint station, where a number of uniformed workers were waiting. He remembered it was one of the railway stations used by the agency and one of the two ways one could get down into the Geofront. He found it odd to be the one person walking away while a couple dozen mechanics and technicians were waiting to ride down in the other direction. He moved to the stairway while the workers packed into the railcar, the lot of them oblivious or ignorant to the sins of their commander. It made him sick that the organization had so many pawns who were proud to serve while left in the dark. It made him furious that while the war went on, it was above the law. NERV was a vile savior.

He did not dwell on it and moved on.

Shinji came out of the stairwell to walk down the next corridor and out into one of the most secure government buildings on the face of the planet. He stood in the main room and without going into the offices or other areas, it was enough to make one know that what went on within was pure business. It was an imposing monument of shining glass and immaculate metal on the surface, touched up with the occasional accent of black marble and generic pieces of modern art and some drab motivational posters. The agency sought to give the impression of being ultramodern, organized, efficient and powerful to the common citizens who came for one reason or another. There were four receptionists behind one large semi-circular desk before the main entrance and he was aware each one of them were trained to use the guns hidden under their monitors. The main room was looked down upon by four floors of walkways and windowed offices, mostly housing civil servants and non-military personnel. There were security guards roaming the corridors carrying automatic weapons and a couple janitors working to keep the place presentable. There were some workers walking the branching corridors and moving up and down the staircases, each one strolling with an urgent yet orderly fervor. The crimson emblem was quite prominent crafted into the white marble flooring and painted on the rear wall across from the main entrance, right over the rear corridor he had just come from. It was a government office building to contend with everything from employee resources to the ongoing reconstruction projects across the military metropolis. The entire scene was orchestrated to create the impression that these accountants and pencil pushers were the ones in authority, and it was not just one man running the show.

Shinji soon caught notice of the cardboard box one of the receptionists was putting out on the marble counter before her. It was overstocked with some interesting pieces of property which stood out in the government building, notably the olive backpack and white tennis shoes. The agency made it a point to remove the contents of his shower room locker. It was an open invitation to the young man, considering it was topped off by the white shirt and black pants stripped from him months earlier. The tennis shoes were enough to draw him over to the woman. Shinji was not used to going without them and it would be a relief to get them back after spending three months barefoot.

"Good morning, Janice." Shinji politely greeted the woman, burying the growing urge to demand to know the reasoning behind the extra two months in the stockade. Shinji knew the woman was just another pawn and wouldn't be one to know. It was kind of obvious she was not about to tolerate an angry teenager making demands. Janice spent most days hearing public concerns and complaints since the beginning of the angelic war. It was no wonder that she was row down when it came to compassion.

Shinji had met the woman a couple times before, but the young prisoner was not much more than just another employee to be found around the office. The sour receptionist did not do much more than glance up to him, shoving the cardboard box toward the edge of the front desk.

"Good morning, Mr. Ikari." she greeted him in kind, but for some reason the no nonsense woman dropped the rank or title she would have often greeted the three children with. "The box contains your property removed from your shower room locker. You might notice that some electronic or communication devices are missing from your belongings. NERV security protocol demands these items be confiscated to undergo data scanning. You property will be returned to you within the next four to six months."

"Uh… Okay." Janice did not give him a moment to ponder its meaning before dropping a twenty page document on the box along with a random pen marked with the crimson logo. He did not expect it. He had come into the room on the lookout for unseen hit men ready to put him down with blade or bullet. The sour receptionist and the sudden amount of paperwork was quite a twist.

"The agency requires your signature on the enclosed documents." Shinji barely looked down at the cover page before the woman's voice took a grave tone. "You are not permitted to refuse."

"Typical." Shinji murmured before looking over some of the documents contained within the serious packet. It was a good minute before the young man recognized them as the documents he had been forced to approve following his encounter with the fourth angel. The commander was once more given the boy his walking papers. Shinji Ikari was dumbstruck. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"I work for the government, sir…" The woman warned him bluntly before passing over another document designed to assist him in cutting his ties with the agency. It gave him some rather grim directions which reeked with vague threats and severe consequence. The crew clearing out his locker would have taken his security keycard and identification badge, not to mention any and all operation intel to be found. The document ordered the immediate surrender of any agency issued paraphernalia which could be turned on them by some phantom menace. His computer and phone were on the list. A report toward the bottom of the document gave away that his dossier would be moved to the archives within the next hour. The message was obvious before the sour receptionist looked up and gave the short version. "Shinji Ikari, you have been disavowed."

Shinji Ikari smirked before penning out his own signature and moved away with the box in hand, much to the confusion of the agency worker. "Thanks for the good news, Janice."


Shinji walked out into the rainstorm and stood there for a moment, his focus drawn to the customized Alpine Renault A310 sitting in one of the private spaces near the parking complex. Shinji glanced down at his watch recovered from the box and raised an eyebrow at the presence of the iconic automobile. The shroud of the evening was upon the world and sunrise would not come for another hour. His poor guardian must have been forced into another one of those triple shift work days and would be drowning herself in caffeine just to get through it. Her car was joined by a diverse collection of coupes, roadsters and convertibles owned by the various employees working for the agency. The commander's luxury grand tourer was quite out of place among the more conservative cars, but it was not there on its own. There were a dozen other models akin to it, each one carrying a retail price which would have covered the annual salaries of three or four workers. It was a universal rule that the bottom workers were going to need to scrape by, but it did not help that most of the managers and directors took home more when others were made to do their work. A worker could get more depending on how much boot one could lick, it was the reason a manager in media relations somehow made two times more than the operations director.

For a moment the young man was tempted to cut loose and unleash the demonic hoard upon the magnificent machines, but it was in the next instant that he noticed someone was waiting for him. A jeep was parked on the curb just away from the main entrance of the government building. The typical black paintjob was marred with that same crimson icon, but the tinted windows would have been enough to give away that it was a government issue. Shinji moved toward the passenger door just as the window rolled down.

The operative lounging behind the steering column stood out due to the ponytail, a constant five o'clock shadow and an overall look which was quite unprofessional. A couple unsavory memories came to mind, most of them bearing some connection to his tragic guardian. Shinji sort of knew the man, but it was not enough for the boy to give him much rope.

"Kaji…" Shinji growled, his voice coming out with a bite of anger. "What are you doing here?"

"You know, just running some errands for your benefactor." Kaji was not without that same smug smirk and the suave attitude which had won many unwanted affections, including those of a certain foreign redhead. Kaji reached across the cabin and popped opened the passenger door. "Come on, kid. We need to get moving."

"No." Shinji was quick to refuse. He did not bother to consider it.

The triple agent was surprised, but sought to maintain that moniker of brazen confidence. It was a precise social science the agent made use of, one meant to give an air of warmth to the other party and put him in a position control where the situation went. It would not work on one who carried with them the dark gift. "We don't have time, Shinji. Get in the jeep."

"That's not gonna happen, Kaji." Shinji's voice came with sudden venom. The timid and withdrawn young man was nowhere to be found, but the person who stood in his place was smoldering with the flames of his own hatred. "I want some answers and you're gonna give them to me."

"We don't have time right now!" the agent regretted losing composure and shouting at the boy. It was never good policy to show an ounce of true emotion or disturbance in an argument. He went for the ego. "I am not with the commander. You have my word on that."

Shinji dropped the box down into the floor on the passenger side and stood in the door with his arms crossed. A good number of comic books might not have allowed him the sudden attitude, but solitary confinement would have changed anyone. The terrible desire to spread his own discontent was too much to resist. Shinji's cold cobalt gemstones bored into the man with a touch of disdain. "I'd rather have your weapon, company man."

Shinji smirked while his demonic hoard cackled from the shadows of his mind. The dumb look spread out on the man's rugged face was nothing short of hilarious. Kaji took a moment. "What'd you just say?"

Shinji did not waver. "You heard me."

"Shinji, this isn't funny."

"I'm not joking." Shinji reached out and opened the glove compartment, not even peeking at the compact pistol and extra magazines hidden within. "Take out your weapon and put it away, otherwise you're gonna be leaving alone."

"Come on, Shinji…" In that moment, the confident operative was suddenly fumbling for the right words to lure the young man. He was a government operator whose numerous missions, undercover or otherwise, garnered him tremendous success and recognition in the last decade. He was not intimidated by the prospect of tricking an international terrorist into trusting him or drawing information from the trophy wife of a criminal kingpin. He was stunned that some schoolboy could be so much trouble. It was quite unfortunate that he chose one of the worst possible ways to response.

It was just six short words. "You know you can trust me."

In retrospect, the man's choice of comeback was fucking stupid.

"You think I can trust you?" Shinji shouted right in the face of the unshaven man, ignorant of how the thunderstorm was rumbling in the wake of his own stewing anger. The pure rage in that moment made the agent want to reach for the gun the boy demanded. "I don't even know you, fuckwit!"

It was in that moment that the agent registered the amount of dirt and blood covering the boy, along with the horrific stench wafting about from his body. It was made somewhat more bearable from being partially soaked from the rainstorm. Shinji went through the gravest kind of torment while under the care of the agency. He was not going to trust one of their employees.

"I just spent three months in a fucking dungeon, Kaji! You people were hanging out topside while I was wasting away in that room like a goddamn animal!" An accusing finger was thrown up at the agent, who took notice of the blood and soot worked into the narrow digit. "I don't recall you or anyone else lifting one finger to do jack shit about it! I don't recall getting more than four weeks at that mock hearing either! You gonna explain that one, company man?"

"Shinji…"

"Shut up!" Shinji roared, utterly dominating the woeful exchange. He took a couple quick and angry breaths, along with one or two elbows into the passenger seat. He never once wavered in that piercing gaze which ripped into the soul of the unshaven man. "I wouldn't trust my own mother at this point if only because she was dumb enough to tolerate that insipid bastard! What makes you think you're much higher on the totem pole?"

Kaji did not have a good answer. "I am your friend!"

"Save it!" Shinji snapped at the lie with a scorn in his voice vile and wicked. "I am not some belligerent redhead with a schoolgirl crush! To me, you're nothing more than a random punk who just happens to be plowing my guardian!" Kaji was taken aback by the outburst and could not come up with a response in the moment. He had believed he knew enough about the young man to work him out. The ruin of these impressions was too shocking to overcome without some time. Shinji did not move. "Put away your weapon, agent."

Kaji did not show that usual grin in the moment and the boy would not waver. He might have brought no malice to the arranged meeting with the ex-prisoner, but the boy was too strung out on his own rage. Their casual association might have once put him in a good position, but there was not much room here when it came down to bribery or negotiation. There was no deception when the agent claimed to be working for the boy's benefactor and his own assignment was quite demanding. Kaji was not about to let the kid walk out into the freezing rainstorm, knowing the uproar a certain raven-haired officer would raise over it.

In the most uncaring and confident manner, which he would often practice, the agent drew out his sidearm and dropped it into the glove compartment. Shinji looked at the weapon, noting it that the agency would not have issued a two-tone Jericho 940 with a ring hammer and tritium night sights. His guardian's lover made an encore performance of slamming the compartment shut.

"Thank you." Shinji dropped into the passenger seat and shut the door without another word, the raw tension of the conflict slipping away from the moment. Kaji did not await another word from the boy. He cranked the engine and turned out of the parking lot, not wanting to linger around much longer on agency premises. The two were soon speeding down the main road which cut down the middle of the city. Kaji did not do much more than watch the young man rummage around in the cardboard box. It was loaded down with contents confiscated from his bedroom and shower room locker. It was common junk and none of it stood out much more than the ancient SDAT cassette player the boy drew out from the bottom.

Shinji looked down at what was likely to be the most obsolete technology to be taken in or carried out of his guardian's apartment. He remembered too many lamenting hours and weary nights slipping away to the melodies of the homemade tapes found within. He once thought it allowed him time to think or made him relax. His onetime guardian once claimed it was a form of musical therapy. It was just another tactic to keep him docile and isolated. He ran one thumb over the chipping logo. His gaze grew in intensity before his thumb suddenly broke through the cheap plastic over the tape. Kaji did not make a comment as the window was rolled down and the dusty player was angrily tossed out into the rainstorm. The jeep moved down the road before the dark imps came out of the woodwork to pounce on and take off with it. Shinji took a moment to compose himself. "You're gonna give me some answers, right?"

"Are you gonna provide the right questions?" Kaji was quick to mock him right back.

"You're pushing my buttons, Kaji." Shinji did not need to consider what stood out the most in his mind. "I remember being sent to the stockade for a month."

Kaji nodded. "That's right."

Shinji was now buckling down on his own resolve. He did not want to resume shouting in the man's face, but the urge was growing rapidly. "How did the commander keep me down there a couple months longer without anyone poking around?"

The smooth operator's confident smirk wavered in the moment, quickly turning grim. "Commander Ikari became more involved with the agency in the wake of the Thirteenth Angel. He took some time to bring up just about every misdemeanor committed during your career with the agency and tacked it on to your current punishment. It was malicious to be sure, but the law cannot touch him over it."

Shinji frustration was evident. "What do you mean by misdemeanors?"

The man was nonchalant, but tossed in a pinch of disgust. "The final version of your conduct record contains that one time you went against orders, got yelled at and ran away for a good part of the weekend. The commander did some work on it to make sure it looked like you were a coward who went and abandoned your post. Of course, the report on your burnt out nerves and your impaired condition at the time was omitted."

"I'm stunned." Shinji deadpanned.

The company man just nodded in agreement. "That, along with the numerous times you went against direct orders from your operations director allowed him to tack on two more months of solitary confinement without question. Giving you your walking papers was just one more nail in your coffin."

Shinji looked up. "What about me being disavowed?"

Kaji looked to the boy with a curious look, but he soon realized the problem. "I suppose just about anyone would be out of the loop. You're quite literally crawling out from under a rock after almost three months." Shinji looked out the window as the car turned down onto the highway. He recognized that he was being driven to the apartments on the outskirts of the agency district. It was right where the commander could watch him without being too obvious. "I was disavowed once before and it was not a simple process."

"Believe me or not, I know." Kaji chuckled, briefly remembering the preliminary paperwork required whenever a certain fiery redhead was pushed to the limit and made threats about quitting the program. He took a moment to monitor the young man, but it was a minor problem picking up the resolve. Shinji must have figured it involved the unit or the angel, but the agent was not ready to give away the fate of the biomechanical defender. "There are some official reasons your entire career is in the process of being scrubbed from the records, but that is classified information. Major Katsuragi should be debriefing you before long."

Shinji gave a murmur, in no way excited about the meeting with his superior. He did not answer in the next ten minutes it took to arrive in the next district, which was quickly recognized as his guardian's neighborhood. The modern apartment building stood out in the stormy cityscape. The amber neon trimming on the roof gave it away and a couple windows were lit up in the minutes that led up to the sunrise. It was impossible for the young man not to notice the municipal middle school or the collection of quaint restaurants decorating the corners. He grew nervous upon passing a decrepit apartment he'd visited twice before and his mind wandered to ponder the enigmatic blunette who was the sole resident. He soon noticed the subtle differences which stood out in the evening shadows. The once vacant apartments were lit up and the adjacent parking lots were to capacity with cars and trucks of the tenants. A number of the vacant properties were sporting new shops and a couple kiosks were waiting on the sidewalks, the owners setting up for the morning crowd in the torrential downpour. A hefty percentage of the population never returned after the attack of the third angel and more followed in the wake of the conflicts which came afterwards. Where much of the neighborhood was once a ghost town, it now carried a new community of people who were bravely working their way back toward some semblance of normalcy. Shinji came to understand just how much could occur in three months and how he was indeed out of the loop.

Shinji noticed the growing tension in his stomach upon arrival in the parking lot which stood before the prominent apartment building. The moment did not have the good spirit of a warm homecoming. He was not thrilled when the agent began lecturing him.

"Okay. You need to understand the situation." Kaji showed some uncharacteristic seriousness in that moment. "You are in an extremely sensitive position right now and you're going to need to exercise the utmost caution if you're going to get through it. The commander will be on the lookout to bring you down, but he cannot do it without working within government protocol. Your benefactor doesn't want you to rot in the stockade and is working to make sure you have somewhere to go once the whole ordeal blows over."

Shinji looked at him for a moment. The thought of journeying out into the world took over his mind, knowing how much freedom could be found from escaping the commander's grasp and taking control of his own destiny. The concept that there was someone looking out for him was quite appealing, but it did not make him more contented. Shinji choked down his own excitement, choosing instead to prod the suave agent. "I hope you're not expecting me to forget what went down and go on my way. I'm not about to walk away before getting some kind of payback!"

Shinji flinched as the operative slammed one palm into the passenger's headrest. The sudden aggression that hijacked his handsome features was proof enough that the situation was of the gravest severity. Shinji decided not to blow him off.

"Don't do anything stupid, Shinji." Kaji warned, the dire nature of the situation overpowering the casual response he normally brought to the table. "I'm still a liaison officer with between NERV and the United Nations. We are working to get your situation resolved and we don't need you ruining your own future. You show some patience for the next week or two and we can get you sent on your way."

Shinji was now intrigued. "You don't think my father would interfere?"

Kaji scoffed with enough blatant disrespect to get someone arrested. "The commander cannot take away the good deeds you've done during the war and cannot make people forget how much you are owed. You've given too much to both mankind and the planet to not get something back."
"I'm touched." Shinji was not enthused.

"Damn it." Kaji deadpanned right back, but with much more dissatisfaction. "Look, I understand you're pissed. You have the right to be! You deserve some payback more than most people! However, you must understand that you cannot pursue it right now! If you get out of line and begin causing trouble for the agency where the public can see it, you're gonna be writing off the rest of your life!"

Kaji pointed one finger right in his face. "The media loves nothing more than when one of the good guys is pushed to the breaking point and a couple photos or a good minute of video would ruin you. Don't hang around agency property where the workers might approach you. Don't go online ranting and raving about how you've been wronged by the government. Don't you dare go to that one friend of yours either, that kid is too connected for his own good."

Shinji brooded, in deep thought over the stern outburst. The man was right and it made him livid. A move made now would not just sabotage his own ambitions, but it would hand that demented blowhard even more leverage over him. He knew his powers would grant him a decisive advantage over most opponents, but it was not enough to go up against someone like Commander Ikari. Shinji Ikari did have infernal cosmic power, but in the long run he was just a young man who was without notoriety and at the mercy of his own emotions. The conflict when it came would need to be a grand contest, one which would demand connections and resources he did not have. Shinji knew he would need to grow and it made him want to hurt someone.

"I'm not gonna pick up a gun and shoot the man. I'm not a coward." He made his confession with a solemn tone. He did not have it in him to put the old man down like a coward or order him ripped asunder by the demonic hoard. He could kill him without much trouble and might revel in it, but he knew he would come to regret it. He could put a knife to his throat. He could put a bullet in his brain. It would not be poignant enough to make amends for the miseries of his life. "I cannot tolerate the old man dominating my entire life without some kind of karma or consequence! I want him out of my life before I am driven to take him out!"

Kaji smirked and looked to one of the more prominent billboards mounted atop one of the adjacent apartment buildings. It was one of those commercial advertisements found across the cityscape and this one was promoting some vacation agency downtown. It depicted a man and a dog moving down a dirt road armed with a pack, a coat and a guitar. In the distance were verdant meadows and misty mountains made to call out to the onlookers. He was not a pawn. He did not take the common roads and did not know where his journey would lead him. He was a nomad. He made his own way in life and roamed by his own volition, carefree and courageous. Shinji was drawn in that moment to become that man.

"We can work to get you out of here and get you on that road, Shinji." the agent was quick to take the opening, proving he knew more about the brazen student's position than one might have imagined. "You give me just one month to work on it and we'll have you on your way. I cannot promise the commander will get what's coming to him, but we can get you out from under his shadow." one of the darkling imps snickered in the back of the boy's mind. "You just need to keep out of trouble in the meantime."

Shinji did not do much more than open the door and move away from the jeep. He was soon moist with the torrential downpour, but was much more focused on how he would someday take revenge on the man. He knew a quick kill could not appease him, not that he could ever commit coldblooded and cowardly murder. He knew no amount of simple torture could make up for an entire decade of abandonment, mistreatment and manipulation. He would need time to come up with a proper punishment. He would need to compromise. He would wait for now, but there would come a time when he would ruin the man and revel in it.

"Fine." The former prisoner grunted. He knew some part of his own subconscious was roaring out under the weight of his own surrender, the one part of him that wanted to have the commander skinned and devoured by the demonic hoard. He did not spare the man one more livid stare. "I'll keep my head down, Kaji. You'd just better keep him off my back."

"No problem." The unshaven worker looked back at him and gave one more solemn nod. It was with that promise that the whole serious persona was chased away and the sardonic man returned with that same beaming confidence. "Go get washed up, kid. You smell like some of Katsuragi's college cooking."

Shinji looked back at the armored automobile as it drove out of the parking lot and joined the growing number of motorists flooding the once barren roads. It was miraculous to discover that the recovery programs were making definite progress. It was quite obvious that so much had been accomplished by the courageous working alongside one another during his three months in the stockade. He was not sure the modern citadel would survive the war, but was given hope that mankind might not be doomed by its own hand. He was not allowed to muse further, the moaning of his vacant stomach drawing him out of the moment. The horrid stench wafting out from his body was made even worse in the pouring rain. Almost keeling over from famine and craving a warm shower, Shinji Ikari moved for the apartment without considering who might be there to greet him.


Shinji did not expect a warm welcome in the wake of his breakdown, but was concerned to find the apartment akin to the stockade, quiet and creepy. It was impossible to overlook that it was not just unoccupied, but derelict. The main room told him there would be no one in the kitchen or the bedrooms. There were cardboard boxes piled up in one corner of the living room and a good month worth of junk mail strewn across the coffee table. The air conditioning was switched off. It was too warm in the apartment and the air was going sour. The nightlight in the one of the outlets was not on, giving away that there was no power coming into the quaint apartment. The majority of the simple furniture was not taken, but some of the pricier pieces were carried out along with the television. The kitchen was now without either one of the refrigerators, the drawers and cabinets had been cleaned out and what remained was bolted into the framework. The three bedrooms were stripped down to the bare walls and closets, without one colorful stitch of clothing to give away ownership. His own room was not much different from the morning which preceded his awakening, but he knew it had not gone untouched. The agency investigators did not bother to cover their tracks while scanning the room, a couple drawers were ripped out and cardboard boxes discarded. He looked down at the splintered remains of the cello, but did not feel much sorrow over the loss of the trivial keepsake. Shinji knew no one would be coming back.

"It's been three months, Shinji." a cryptic voice taunted him. The young man turned to see his demonic advisor come into being, perched at the window and looking out over the cityscape like some kind of gargoyle. The sovereign shot him a dark look. He did not like how the sardonic darkling cut the moment short, but it was for the best. It was too common that fragile mortals would fritter away time worrying when there was no point in worrying. The world had moved on without him and his one-time roommates went with it.

Dante nodded before suddenly teleporting away from the window, a puff of smoke wafting about in his wake. Shinji turned around to notice the senior demon pacing around the apartment proper. He gave a couple approving nods to the residence before turning to the boy with an inquiring grin. Shinji waved one hand toward the ominous emissary. He knew where it was going.

"Do it." The dark advisor smirked back at him before snapping his clawed fingers. Shinji did not look away while a couple dozen more of the infernal minions came out from the shrouding darkness to be found around the apartment. A good number of them yawned in their own unique voices which ran the gambit from a crazed shrill pitch to a roaring baritone. The voices of the dark void were meant to intimidate and terrify whoever went against them, so the infernal chorus came out ravenous and psychotic. The minions spread around the apartment like a crate of wild monkeys, the whole lot of them needing to move about in the wake of being locked away with their young commander. Shinji looked at the room and with one thought they were docile and looking to him, the typical glint of destructive mischief was toned down in that moment.

His dark minions did not need to be ordered around by voice, the whole lot of them linked to him via the dark gift to which they were born to serve. He understood their chaotic instinct to go around causing mischief and knew he would soon need to sate their penchant for blood and violence. He did not yet have an opponent to set them upon and the minions were eager to be put to work. He would put them to good use in the meantime.

He allowed one pocket of the little monsters to go out to secure necessities their young sovereign could not afford at the moment. He sent another pod of the vicious minions to keep watch on the derelict apartment from the other unoccupied buildings in the neighborhood. He approved one comment to cut the tires of the dark truck just down the street from the apartment. He allowed some to keep to the shadows of the agency headquarters, not wanting to lose track of the man who wanted him dead. He shot down some encouraged remarks about painting some graphic graffiti to get back at the agency. He might have allowed it if the idea were more conventional, but he knew one or two scientists might catch on when agency propaganda turned up smeared with demonic feces.

He knew it was important that the minions have somewhere to be out in the world, not content with the constant detachment of the void. He ordered them not to put down roots in the barren apartment. He was not comfortable with the prominent memories contained within and knew their manic antics would bring someone snooping around. He ordered the demonic hoard to venture out into the military metropolis and track down somewhere suitable in which to make their home. He did not intend to return to the care of his guardian, not comfortable with how she was once assigned to him by the agency. Shinji Ikari stood among his infernal messengers for the moment, but in the next he was left alone in the barren apartment.

"You go on and take care of your own affairs, kid." Dante dropped down from a corner of the ceiling and touched down on one of the boxes, his tail wrapped around his narrow waist. He looked back to the window and jumped out without warning. He was gone in a puff of smoke. Shinji smiled at it.

"Do me a favor and try to behave yourselves." He murmured before moving into the vacant kitchen, but made a beeline for the shower when a quick search of the cabinets came up with no food. He could wait to appease his moaning stomach, but his own stench was too much for him to tolerate. He removed the orange jumpsuit which he'd been made to wear for three months and clinched it in his hands. The orange jumpsuit was evidence of his time in the stockade, the once vibrant fabric now stained and covered in rips and tears. It was with one tick of his mind that the jumpsuit was burnt to cinders, embers of black fire consuming the garment within a couple seconds. He did not give the smoke mind before jumping into the shower.

The water came out hot enough to burn skin, but it was necessary to get rid of the more troublesome filth packed into every open pore of his body. He was amused to come across his own soap and shampoo in the shower cabinet, most of it not thrown out in the wake of his imprisonment. He worked the soap into his skin until it was worn down to a chip which went down the drain. He used a white washcloth on his cheeks and nose until it came away stained with blood and dirt. He used a whole bottle of the shampoo, working into the dandruff which decorated his black strands. He spent a good hour washing in the shower and did not step out until he was convinced he did not stink or look like raw sewage.

A look in the mirror showed how much his hair had grown in three months and was not sure how he would deal with about six extra inches. In the end, he took one of the simple black hair ties left in the medicine cabinet. It came out with a loose ponytail which he was drawn not to cut off. It would be a tribute to the man who just convinced him to wait for the moment. He was aware that it would get under his ex-roommate's skin. Shinji smiled at his new look, now anxious to get to the reunion with the fiery redhead.

He moved to his old bedroom with a scowl at how it was now wrecked and barren. He was advised that certain suspect items were confiscated in the wake of his punishment, but the agency inspectors had gone through his room like secret police. His quaint desk and dresser were robbed of his meager possessions and the drawers were strewn across the room with obvious disregard. The closet was barren too, his entire wardrobe carted away with the exception of a couple hangers and a torn wall calendar. He scoffed once more at the broken remains of his antique cello, the kicked-in woodwork and the broken strings were meant to intimidate him. He dropped the cardboard box on the floor, the contents of his washroom locker now his sole property.

Misato was not to blame and her man was not in on it. The pink note on his desk proved it, her simple kanji asking him to pack up his room and call her to pick him up. The commander could not burn him, but made quite the effort to leave him with nothing. He went into the box and dug out his wallet to find it was stripped of his debit card and what little cash money it had carried. He sent out a mental order for one of his minions to pickpocket some of the goons the commander surrounded himself with.

The charm of walking around naked did not last and he proceeded to dress himself with the school uniform which had been in that box for three months. The cotton stank like dust and mildew and the outfit did not fit as loose as it once did on his wiry frame. He put on his socks and tennis shoes next and smiled. It was a nice change after being barefoot on cold concrete for an entire season. The student uniform was topped by a hooded jacket, a dark affair with white trim and zipper pockets he'd worn one rainy morning and left in his washroom locker. He took a phone from the box and discarded it, having no use for the numerous knick knacks he had hoarded in his locker. It was not the agency phone given to him by his guardian, but his own phone picked up a month before his confinement to keep in touch with the people he cared about. He knew someone had made it a point to get it into the box with a charged battery. The commander's goons would not have overlooked it.

Shinji did not dawdle another minute before making the next move to get back into his own life. He did not adhere to the note and put away the phone. He was in no mood to make peace with his guardian or argue with his roommate. He instead picked up his olive backpack and was soon out the door. It would make sense to the onlookers.

Shinji Ikari was a student and he had about thirty minutes to get to homeroom.


Shinji Ikari went out into the downpour without much of an ambition, but did know what he wanted to do. He would get down to the school to take care of his own affairs and disappear before anyone had the chance to recognize him wandering about. He theorized that three months locked away in the stockade and the recent influx of thousands into the metropolis would have put him out of mind to the general public. He made a detour down into one of the subway stations and took shortcuts through some quaint apartments to keep out of the downpour and to avoid the sidewalks. He had looked enough into his own soul to know he was a pawn to his own empathetic nature. He knew it was enough to put him off his own ideal scenario. He was just one chance meeting or a couple good memories away from dawdling and bringing ruin to his own ambitions. Shinji planned to take back his own life and it would not do to have undue concerns dragging him down. Shinji did not want an anchor.

The dishonored warrior was just down the road from the school grounds when the chain to that anchor was drawn out and forged to the pit of his soul. He knew in the moment that there was no one who could have stopped him in his tracks with a word or a gesture. He knew he had it in him to blow them off and keep walking down the road without a care, as cold and as biting as an ice cube. He knew that his own willpower was indomitable and that his own ambition would take prime priority over the world around him.

He did not consider there could be an exception.

It was too damn bizarre that the one who would be his anchor would just come around the next corner to meet him in that moment, twenty minutes before homeroom. The albino schoolgirl came out of the dark like an icon whose meaning was ones own to discern. He was an idiot to have ever discounted the one who now stood before him. He would come to know in retrospect that it was no ironic coincidence that the detours would fail, but the misnomer's own direct intent. The ominous meeting was not out of some random occurrence, but thought out in the mind of the one who stood before him. The lone schoolgirl was not a pawn to mere chance.

"Good morning, Ikari." Ayanami greeted him in that soft voice, akin to a timid mouse who did not want to draw attention of anyone whom she was not addressing. It worked with her own introverted nature to make up a bizarre kind of charm that would make one nervous just to be noticed by the stoic girl. The girl did not fit into the social world and in turn saw no reason to fret over it. In was like she was immune to the worst of the human condition and, to him, it made her one-of-a-kind without even taking the ruby eyes and sapphire strands into account.

"Good morning, Ayanami." Shinji greeted in kind with a soft nod and it drew an odd look from the girl. He did not come across with the meek nervousness one would have come to expect from him. He did not show the same grating concern with social niceties which would have once crippled him. He just met her crimson gaze with a tired look. He was too burnt out to be worried about such nonsense.

The albino schoolgirl stood there with her umbrella while the convict stood undeterred by the cold rainwater soaking into his uniform. The one time companions did not move in that moment. He worried about the look that bored into him, picking up on concern and confusion and suspicion. His worries were put away as the honor student's gaze soon morphed into one of subtle warmth accented by an undertone of tremendous relief. Shinji did not want to show it, but he was put off his guard. "It is good to see you are not hurt."
"I'm kinda beaten up, but no worse for the wear." Shinji held up one arm that was accented by a white bandage stained with blood and dirt. A couple of his fingertips were decorated by band-aids. His brow and one cheek were touched up with some gauze. He worked himself to the bone over those three months and took away a good numbers of wounds during his time in that narrow cell. Her warmth withered at the sudden knowledge of the prisoner's anguish.

Ayanami looked hard at the patchwork and soon looked down at her white shoes. Shinji did not notice how her right hand grew tight around the wooden grip of the umbrella or how she ground her molars in the moment. He did not notice how a worrisome thumb and index finger had rubbed thin spots in the skirt of her uniform. He could not have known how much the whole ordeal provoked her in recent months. His focus was drawn to the sorrow and regret built up in her crimson gaze. "I am so sorry, Shinji-kun."

Her words came out a gentle whisper, such that it almost did not make it over the noise of the downpour. He did not have time to doubt what he had heard in that moment. A delicate hand came out to take one of his own, unconsciously rolling it over to take in the crimson spot that adorned his torn knuckles. The twin rubies took on an unseen glow of immense disapproval. In her own way, the young woman was pained to know he was put in a position to be hurt. "Your punishment was done in accordance with agency policies, but it was not just. You did not have a choice but to go against our orders."

Shinji Ikari was stunned.

The First Child looked back down in the next moment. Her lithe body wore a nervous countenance which would have been alien to the onlooker and her once perfect posture was spiced with the occasional unsure twitch. The poor girl wore an air of anxiety as her own gentle words crept out from pale lips. "I must give my gratitude. I do not believe we would have survived without your intuition."
Shinji did not know how to respond. In one minute, the girl had given him more honest praise that he would have known what to do with. It was sincere and with deep meaning to the one who stood before him. It was a moment to be remembered and cherished by both parties. It was not like the impersonal and boorish praise of the commander. In comparison, the old man's rare utterance of "good work" came across without merit or worth.
Shinji soon tore away from his musings. "You do not need to thank me, Rei."

"I do." Ayanami was quick to insist, her docile nature vanishing for an instant. "You were given an executive order to ignore the pilot and attack Unit 03. You made the choice to ensure the pilot went home alive, in spite of the consequences." Ayanami looked down at her arm, wincing at the memory of the searing anguish that came from exposure to the angelic parasite. A wave of ire came into her twin rubies with the memory of how it was cut off. "You made it a point to lure it away from us too. I do not want to think on what it would have done if it came back to Unit 00. You got us out alive, Shinji."

Shinji nodded. "I just tried to do my job."

Rei blinked and shook her head. "I don't understand."

"It's simple." Shinji motioned to the country map on the adjacent brick wall, pointing out his hometown. "I came down from the mountains to protect humanity and take down a common opponent. I agreed to be a soldier and work to ensure the survival of mankind, even if it required pain and death." Shinji counted on his wounded fingers with a quick spice of spite and sarcasm. "I promised to learn how to pilot a giant robot and use it to take down alien monsters. I swore to abide with the more idiotic agency protocols and the suicidal missions we were sent on. I was prepared to keep it up until the war was won or we were all dead."

Ayanami did not speak for a moment. "You made the choice to become the Third Child."

"I was not my choice, Rei." Shinji growled, but quickly cooled down. "There was never another choice to be had. It was the right thing to do and there was no one else available to take them on. I was growing to accept it until three months ago..."

Ayanami spent the next moment in silence and the air grew thick with tension.

Shinji took to the brick wall and dropped back on it. "NERV and its commander might not want to understand, but it was a simple decision to make in the moment. I do not regret it."

Ayanami wanted to know more. "What do you mean it was simple?"
"I took an oath to pilot Unit 01." Shinji looked down at the sidewalk with passive disdain. "I did not agree to kill an innocent and will not accept an order to do so. I do not care about military protocol or political nonsense. I am not a murderer and the commander was insane to believe that line could be crossed on his whim. I do not owe him that." Shinji took some time to cool down and paced about the sidewalk. Ayanami looked on with concern, but worked to keep her gaze impassive.

"I do not even care that it was Touji in there." It was a major bombshell to be heard, even to the stoic albino. Shinji threw out one palm to cover the crimson icon in the corner of the country map. "I know now that a stranger would have made no difference to me. I cannot work under someone who can regard human life without an ounce of mercy or respect. I cannot give up my honor like that."

A minute passed by the pair without another word and the ambiance of the wind and rain worked to smooth the orphan's temper. The senior pilot took the time to consider the raw passion in his words and knew it to be true. He was not weak, cowardly or feebleminded as the commander claimed. He could even grow to be a threat given enough time. He was correct with regard to his abrasive parent. The commander was indeed out of his mind with grief and regret in recent months, but the man had been a ruthless and conniving scoundrel since time immemorial. Gendo Ikari was inhumane. He did not care about the world, the species or even his own son. Ayanami grew more and more certain that he did not care about her and the old man was steadily losing the benefit of the doubt.

"I understand." the stoic beauty murmured. "You are not like him, Shinji."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Shinji chuckled.

"Good." Ayanami gave him a soft smile. "It was meant to be one."

Shinji did not know where the exotic pilot picked up on simple discussion or compliments, but it was a nice change to talk to the girl and be talked to in turn. He figured that what little transpired within their brief exchange was one of the deepest conversations to take place between either one of the two docile teenagers. He grew weary of the tension and was quick to work out a new topic which did not concern the organization or its commander. It did not take too long to remember how the girl was waiting on that corner.

"Ayanami, is there some reason you've gone out of your way this morning?" Shinji took note of the nervous twitch in her right hand. He was without doubt that their chance meeting was no mere coincidence. Ayanami took the most direct route to their middle school and did not wander from it. He braced himself for a ruse to throw him off, but did not anticipate the direct answer he got.

"I wanted to walk to school with you." Shinji almost doubted it, but the honor student was looking anxious as she tried to explain her position. "I was ordered to record some synchronization scores to compare with the operating system programmed into Unit 02 and Unit 03. I heard that you were to be pardoned and would be escorted home from the stockade. It is unfortunate you were disavowed in the process."

Shinji did not accept it. "It was not my choice."

The stoic girl gave him a vacant gaze. "I cannot give you a sitrep without authorization, but understand that your position was removed and is not on record with the agency. I am confident you will be advised of the situation in time."

Shinji did not like the sound of it, but nodded. He did not know what occurred with his demonic battlemech during that forced activation. He was sure there was a malfunction, but did not suspect it was so severe. He would await the situation notice with thinning patience. "I did miss out on three months..."

Ayanami nodded in kind. "I wanted to make sure you got to homeroom on time. We are beginning the new curriculum this week and you will need to make immediate arrangements to avoid dropping out. You don't want to miss out on the ninth grade."

"I could have made it on my own, not that I don't appreciate your concern." Shinji shook himself out of his own dawdling moment, quite stunned that the young woman would have worried about him. He did not suspect anyone raised by his accursed parent would have an iota of concern to give. He did not dwell on it and looked down at his watch to hiss at the shrinking window. "We should get moving if we want to make it on time."

Shinji took a moment to compose himself and drown out the mocking voices from the gremlins that looked down from the adjacent shadows. The demonic hoard was amused to witness such nervousness from their master. Ayanami made a subtle motion down the street and the pair was soon walking down the sidewalk in one another's company. Shinji did not even notice when the girl moved her umbrella to cover him from the downpour. He did not complain. He was content with it. To the random citizens on the streets and sidewalks, going about their own morning commute, the two of them were was just a pair of normal kids on their way to homeroom. It was an iota of the norm in an otherwise insane existence.

He was not sure what to make of the First Child. He got an entire conversation where it would have once been rare to get more than a couple words. He was sure some kind of change had occurred, but it was not like he knew much about her. He was not alone in that.

He did not know her precise origins, but it was no secret that she was raised within the agency to be a pilot to the prototype and a pawn to the commander. He would never forget that moment in the wake of his arrival, in which the poor girl was forced to prove her devotion to the wicked man. The vision of the poor girl covered in bloody gauze crawling on the ground in an effort to obey the order to pilot the dormant test type, it made him want to kill the old man even more. The ensuing realization that the young woman was conditioned to be complacent and obedient in the wake of such malevolence, it made him want to do so much worse.

Shinji would make time to dispel such rigid devotion and remake the poor girl into her own person. Her social condition was once pitied and envied, but the pros were overpowered by the cons of being a puppet. It was a major priority to him, but there would be no opportunity while she was forced to take part in the war. For now he was content to walk along with the pilot and take in the peace of the moment. He suspected there were not going to be many more over the coming months. Shinji grew wary of the glowing peepers which came to be in the dark windows and shadowy doorways en route to the campus. The burned pilot carried enough complications to wreck a weak person before his awakening and the imps made it clear that the dark gift was not to be ignored.

Shinji just knew that this dreary morning was not going to work in his favor.


Author's Notice:
I know some people want to get to my commentary, but right now I want to answer for the unprecedented amount of time it took to get out this chapter. It did not take me nine months to write out fifteen pages. I did not get sidetracked by other projects and novella. I wrote the outline and began writing nine months ago, but for some reason it proved to be a cursed effort. I went through two computers in that period of time, one ruined by a lightning bolt and one taken by the airline gods. I lost my zip drive backup along with my laptop on a trip to comic-con and had to restart twice from the beginning. It was more horrendous how the document was at around eighty percent both times. I was just too burnt out to write it out a third time. The airline got their act together and got my bag back to me, but work and rent kept me too busy to get back into it until now. I am now in the habit of making two backups and printing out chapters for proofreading and filing purposes and would rather not lose my original works. Now, my own integrity is ordering me to shut the fuck up, quit bitching and get on with the commentary people may or may not care about.

Author's Commentary:
In the time it took to write this accursed chapter, I have worked out an outline to keep the project going smooth with a minimum of hiccups. I did not want to take too much time to bring out more of the darkness, but the situation required more time to be spent on the other main characters. I spent a good portion here bringing Kaji and Ayanami back into the picture and both will be vital to our dark savior. I want to give some time to his reunions with the most important people in his life to put him on the path to the purpose he is trying to give to himself.

Shinji Ikari being disavowed was in the works since chapter one as it would free him from the jurisdiction of the agency along with the permanent shutdown of Unit 01. Shinji is on his own now, the bastard king is at the point he will spend time and money to make his son miserable. The benefactor is the counter to that and will become vital once we make the six year jump. It is a person (or persons) who gets that the entire scenario is derailed and want to give the boy a second chance.

I do not like spending so much time on walk and talk in a project made to be action oriented, but it fits with the mood of the series too well to skip over it. The next chapter will bring a couple more reunions, but there will be intense conflict with some newcomers. To those looking forward to the action, rest assured there will be blood in chapter six and the darkness will be out in the open by chapter seven. I am hoping to bring in the next angel by the ninth chapter.


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