Like 'da old man said, "Jura is a fictional character! No reason to get all fussy over a few lines of ink and a voice that belongs to someone else." But then, I didn't believe in the old man anyway. Oh, I call the latest chapter, Black Friday since that is the day the Nirvana reunion is taking place.

Oh-oh--here comes trouble! It's Rabat, The Rat Bastard! Watch out, he's comin'!

CHAPTER 3: BLACK FRIDAY

For old times' sake, Ezra Viel, Rebecca her friend, Amarone Slaintheav, Belvedere Coco and Celtic Midori were up in the empty bridge, looking all 'round, and checking out their old stations where they used to work at.

"It doesn't seem a year ago," said Ezra, "that we all once worked here, serving under Capitane Magno."

"Like a trip to the past...," said Belvedere. "Who was it that said you can't go home again?"

"I don't know...," said Amarone. "Remember back when Celtic here would dress up in that bear outfit before poor Hibiki saw her in her undies with the bear print?"

"Don't remind me," said Celtic, a bit uneasily. "I can't blame the poor guy for taking a bad fall, but where he landed--THAT was an unkind cut. After that, I took to wearing different outfits." From the she looked down at her sailor schoogirl outfit, a la Sailor Moon before adding, "But then, the inside of that bear suit was hotter than July--UGH! So I guess Hibiki's goof up was my wake up call...sorry it took me so long to come to terms with that..."

"Hey, better late than never," said Rebecca. "Well, once the reunion finishes, Ezra and me can retire in peace and settle down with our daughter. No 'mo enemy mecha, nor any Harvesters from Earth, nor any 'mo people in danger--never again."

"Agreed," said Ezra. "but who can say a similar crisis couldn't occur again? If not from the remains of The Harvesters, then maybe a new enemy, intent on picking up where The Harvest left off."

Shuddering, Belvedere said, "No hints, OK?"

"That can't happen here," said Celtic. "Without their leader, and their Red Pyxis, it's doubtful those jokers can make a comeback. So, what chuu plannin' doin' with your pension funds? I wanna try my hand at swimwear modeling."

"Me an' Rebecca," replied Ezra, "we're spoken for, an' yet, we've been toyin' with the idea of settin' up a roadhouse in Mejere's capital city."

"And," said Rebecca, "hopefully set up a cosplay exhibition on the side. What of the rest of you?"

"Maybe just work in a car wash by day," replied Amarone, "an' be a pole dancer by night."

"Y' got to be careful in that line of work," cautioned Belvedere. "A lot of kooks work in that line, along with druggies as well. Me, I'd open up a candy store an' give Mejere's children their worth in sweets up the wazoo."

"What a bunch of pigs," grumbled Celtic. "Boy I could just hear them after they're done stuffin' themselves: 'Oh, I am sick! Oh, my poor stomach!' Then they'd be earmarked for the emergency room...!"

At that moment, a frantic beeping sound could be heard, and out of habit, Belvedere manned her station, and checked onscreen readouts before saying, "We've got some kind of spacecraft at 7 GR, drifting near the Nirvana...only it seems there's no sign of engine activity, no sign of life, none..."

"Let's call the captain," said Ezra.

Down in the bowels of the hangar, an enraged Hibiki Tokai was getting his strength back from his pent up fury when it came to trying to break free from a kiss crazy Jura Basil Elden, who even now was smothering the luckless hothead with kisses while trying to tickle the said Van pilot just as Dita had done; it was at that point that the offspring of Lord Granpa and Lady Granma tried to push the diva away, fought and screamed, "JURA! STOP!"

"Stop it, Hibiki!" barked the blonde grimly. "Don't fight it! What's the matter with you? Can't I at least kiss you for old time's sake?"

"Not when you're in love with someone else!" snarled Hibiki. "You're only here to get a baby with me! For that matter, you only want me for a steppin' stone for your own greedy gains! I knew you hadn't changed! I knew you hadn't learned your lesson!"

"Listen," stated Jura, "just because I love Barnette, don't mean I can't love, let alone kiss other people. You saw me kiss not only Barnette, but also Dita, Meia and the rest there. Besides, like Paiway said, some old habits can be hard to break. For that matter,
to me, YOU'RE a hard habit to break. So what's the big deal?"

The hothead responed with a rude raspberry, but even so, the Dread pilot didn't let go of the Van pilot, saying, "The trouble with you is, you don't know what love is."

"ME?" grumbled Hibiki. "The way I see it, love sucks!"

"No wonder you and Dita broke up," said the diva. "But then, you had a LOT of other reasons why you two parted ways. One of these days, I may prove to you that love doesn't suck all the time"

"Well I don't wanna be proved!" snorted the hothead. From there, he tried to break free, to the blonde's annoyance.

"I've had it with tryin' to steal the bases," said Jura. "Time to steal home! So fear not--Nurse Jura's here to make it all better..."

With that in mind, the diva cupped the Van pilot's face with each hand, muttered, "Forgive me, Barnette," and kissed full on the mouth, all that taking Hibiki by surprise.

At first, the hothead vehemently protested, despite his mouth covered by the blonde's lusterous mouth, trying to beat his fists against the diva, in the hopes of pushing her away, until he fell passive, going limp while getting kissed thoroughly by Jura, who, to his surprise, turned out to be a fantastic kisser. In fact, he had gotten way too many kisses, first from Dita, then Misty, but they were just minor pecks compared to what he was now experiencing--for that matter, those two had no idea when it came to kissing someone on the mouth, which was, beyond any doubt, a real, REAL kiss. Though it was Misty that was the first to do just that to Hibiki, it was sudden and unexpected, to the point that he had little time to experience what he was feeling right now with the blonde, which, by the by, was a whole new sensation, so it was no wonder the Van pilot not only wrapped his arms 'round the Dread pilot's waist and held her, but also took to closing his eyes and kissing along with her. If that was what males and females did, despite the rumors he had heard on Taarak on women eating their male counterparts with a kiss, then...
One thing was for sure--a kiss like that had the hothead drifting in a calming state of mind, a cocoon of bliss, in which time stood still. And it was a kiss he couldn't get enough of, loving it, wanting more of, to forget everything but the loving within. But the irony was, that particular kiss WAS coming from, of all people, a stuck up crazy blonde diva named Jura.

At one point, Hibiki was (pleasantly) surprised when Jura stuck her tongue down his mouth for a french kiss; soon it turned intense with their tongues intertwining, the two spacers holding each other close as they could get, till they broke off the kiss, blushing, sweating, with their hearts pounding--and that was when they heard the voice of Gascogne say, "Hey--get a room, you two," followed by a laugh.

Turning, Jura and Hibiki could see the supply shop leader standing a few yards from the Vanguard platform, a smirk on her face.

"Gasco!" said the diva.

"How long were you standin' here?" said the hothead.

"Just a few seconds," replied Gascogne, who turned to the blonde and added, "And by the by, it's GASCOGNE! Got it?"

Sighing, the Dread pilot muttered, "Whatever..."

"Hibiki," asked the supply shop leader, "if you and Jura get married, will you two settle down in a Spanish tile roofed stucco house with a white picket fence?"

"So funny I forgot to laugh...," grumbled the Van pilot.

Suddenly, the voice of B.C. came on the PA system: "Attention, all Dread team members, report to the bridge, ASAP! Priority red!"

"How's that for an interrupted holiday?" growled Hibiki.

"Not those Harvester bastards again!" moaned Jura.

"Come on, Leetle Miz Blondie an' Goats Head Soup," said Gascogne, "let's hurry over an' prepare for the worst."

Following the supply shop leader, the Van pilot and the blonde hightailed it down the hall.

For Hibiki Tokai, preparing for the worst was justified, for when he, Jura and Gascogne arrived, they saw Magno, B.C., Duero, Parfet, Bart, Dita, Meia, Barnette and Misty there--and there, on the projected digital telescreen, was Rabat's ship, drifting listlessly out in space.

"That Rat Bastard!" snarled the hothead. "What's HE doin' HERE?" To ruin our party with his 'ol con-phew tatics?"

"He conned me out of a new engine drive!" said Parfet.

"He gave to me an' the other gals tacky cheap makeup an' jewels!" said Dita.

"He beat up poor Hibiki!" said Jura.

"He was a traitor to the galaxy an' a vassal to The Harvesters!" said Meia.

"An' worst of all, his stinky monkey Utan wore a stinky yellow onesie as well!" said Misty.

"Why would ol' R.abat be comin' here, of all times?" said Barnette.

"Let's just see what ol' Rat Bastard wants in the first place," declared Magno. "Open up a hailing channel."

"It's open," said Ezra.

Standing up (using her stick), the captain spoke in her most demanding manner, "Captain Magno Vivian, to Rabat The Rat Bastard. Reply now! State your reason for coming here!"

No answer.

"Rabat!" said Magno. "Reply now. Why did you come here? To give me and the others here a lot of grief?"

Still no reply.

"That bullheaded eel in the kelp idiot...!" muttered B.C. "No doubt stubborn to the end!"

"That is just what I say!" agreed Hibiki. "He is the perfect example of how a loser lives!"

"Rabat!" called the captain. "Can you hear me? Reply, NOW!"

When no reply was forthcoming, Magno turned to B.C. and said, "Something's not right. Normally, he'd be onscreen bragging with his big fat mouth--unless his transmitter could be faulty."

"Or he could be playing the waiting game," said the first mate. "Then, when the time was right, he'd spring his trap."

"You got that right," said the hothead darkly. "Just once, I wish we could kick that Rat Bastard's beeg faat BUT-TOCKS!"

"And we will," said Magno with trepidation. Turning to Gascogne, she spoke, "Miss Gasco, take the Dread team, along with Misty, Duero and Pafet with you for a bording team to infiltrate Rabat's ship once we link it up with the Nirvana via docking vestibule No.
14."

"Safe an' sound," said the supply shop leader.

Turning to Bart, the captain said, "I hope you didn't lose you piloting skills, on account of your said skills is crucial in bringing the Nirvana up and over Rabat's ship so we can dock with it."

"Why not...?" said the bald bishounen before he stepped up to the helm station and jumped into it; afterwards, a second telescreen came on, depicting a bare Bart in his chamber saying, "All set."

"Carry on, then," said Magno.

"Roger that," came the reply before Bart easily piloted the Nirvana up and over Rabat's ship before coming to a stop. After that, a bellows pipe like tube came down from the pirate ship, linking up with the airlock hatch of Rabat's ship.

"Vestibule secure," said Celtic. "All pressures equalized."

"Well done," said the captain before turing to Gascogne and said, "Get in there and you jokers confront and bring that Rat Bastard to justice--so we can drop his sorry hide back in his rat trap where he belongs."

"And at the same time," said the supply shop leader, "make a monkey out of that stinky Utan."

"Let's go!" said Hibiki. "I wanna swat rat butt!"

"Take a number, Mister Alien--UH!--I mean, Hibiki," said Dita.

With Gascogne leading, the group climbed down the vestibule pipe till they were at the entry hatch; after Parfet picked its lock, it opened, and soon they were inside--only to discover the interior was a total shambles, torn wiring, fallen support beams and holes blasted through walls. It was as if a platoon of Vikings had torn through here on a rampage without mercy.

"What a mess!" said Parfet. "Is that how Rabat lives? As a slob?"

"It looks like a big fat tornado came through here," said Barnette. "An' somehow I don't think all that mess WAS Rabat's doin'. I'd say SOMEONE with a vendetta did all that."

"But who?" asked Meia.

It was at that point that the group stopped before the door to the bridge which had already been blasted open--

--and inside was the most gristly surprise that took the group by surprise so much, it made them sick to their stomachs.

"YAR-R-R-R-R-G-H!" gasped Hibiki.

"Oh no! Oh no-o-o! " blurted Dita.

"BLA-A-A-A! " said Jura.

"YARRRRRRRRRRRGH-H-H! " said Meia

"ROT-TEN!" said Misty.

YUCC!" said Barnette.

"UGGGGGGHHHH!" said Gascogne.

"I think I am goin' to be sick!"! said Parfet.

"DITTO!" said Duero.

And no wonder. For laying in a pool of blood, in the center of the bridge floor, a fist sized hole torn through his upper torso, his eyes frozen in shock, was the con man, trader and vassal to The Earth Harvesters known as Rabat, aka The Rat Bastard, dead. Nearby, in the corner lay the bloody, exploded body of the monkey known as Utan, also dead, her trademark onesie outfit laying nearby,
in shreds. It was as if foul play had been in the works, even worse than the time The Harvesters had massacred the Melanus population.

As soon as he got his senses back, Duero carefully made his way to the dead con man, and after making several checks, said half trance like and half darkly, "He's dead...The Rat Bastard Rabat is dead...!"

"Serves him right!" declared Hibiki. "I hope he burns in hell for all the crummy stuff he did!"

"Ditto fot that stinkin' Utan, for her monkey business!" agreed Barnette. "Score one for divine retribution on those two!"

"No wonder there was no reply...," said Meia.

The next few minutes were spent with Parfet crossing the bridge floor and searching under the control consoles, saying, "Whoever it was that rubbed out Rabat tore all the electrical wiring, trunk lines, terminals and controls. Oh wait--here it is--the flight recorder. At least it seems to be in fine condition"

"I,ll go get some body bags for our latest victims," said the Taarak medic, who exited the bridge.

"But who or what could've done all that to Rabat?" asked Dita. "An' why?"

"Who cares?" said Misty. "It's the end of the only ally the now defunct Harvest had!"

"Maybe he had a run in with one of the syndicates," said Meia, "and picked a bad time to tell them to shove it up their noses."

"Which one?" said Hibiki. "The Taarak Yakuza, The Mejere Mafia or all of the above?"

"It looks like The Harvesters did that," said Jura, a bit shakily. "See the way they--UGH--tore Rabat's heart? Given the fact he was in cahoots with them, it's no hype they turned on him for revenge."

Gascogne, who had been examing burnt marks all over the damaged places, and the few blood puddles here and there, had been muttering, "No...it couldn't be...", had now turned to the diva and said, "Somehow, I don't think so, though it LOOKS LIKE they did it."

"What makes you so sure?" said Barnette. "You saw the way Rabat was dispatched--they've needed parts of his body for their pseudo Frankenstein creations. See the blast points where all the energy blasts did here and there?"

"I see them," replied Gascogne," and they're way too accurate for The Harvesters. Look at the precision in how the firepower was applied...only one thing I know could've done such precise expertise..."

At that moment, the supply shop leader's communicator came on with B. C. saying, "Gascogne, do you copy?"

"I read you, mam'm," replied Gascogne. "It seems we found out the fate of one Rabat, The Rat Bastard,
who, along with Utan, was just found dead."

In the Nirvana bridge, Magno, upon hearing the news, gasped, "DEAD? Switch on your comm's onboard cam, so we can see."

To the shock of everyone on the bridge, a telescreen was projected, showing the interior ruins of the bridge for the late con man's ship, along with the bloodied carnage as well.

"What in Taarak...?" said B. C.

"How'd THAT happen?" gasped the captain. "It looks like bunch of vigilantes struck!"

"It seems that way," said the supply shop leader. "and I believe I MAY know who came here and did such dirty work...I didn't think they'd be here, after so many years...until now."

"Meaning?" asked B.C.

"Meaning," said Gascogne, half uneasy and half grim,with the manner of a mouse chosen to bell the cat, "that it's the work of my sworn nemesis, who also happenes to be an inventor, scientist, revolutionary and part time witch--Brittany Pereira, the founder and empress of The Pereira Star Empire, an all female group of criminals, terrorists and other miscreant gals--who no doubt also had a hand in trashing the ship!"

Upon hearing such a revelation from the card playing supply shop leader, Jura paled and Misty shuddered just as Parfet, the flight recorder in hand, spoke up,"Captain, sorry to interrupt, but I just found the flight recorder here. When we get back to the Nirvana, I'll patch it into our computers and maybe we can learn what happened that led up to the murders."

"You did well," said Magno. To the supply shop leader, she added, "Miss Gascogne, you and rest come back to the Nirvana as soon as you finish up."

"Understood," said Gascogne. "It seems me and the Empress Brittany an' me got some old scores to settle, an' what we just saw was a greeting card. An' like it or not, Taarak, Mejere, an' the rest of the galaxy is involved..."

Houston, we have a problem--and it seems that (a) Rabat is murdered and whoever did the dirty work also dispatched the smelly ol' ape, aka Utan, thus putting an end to her monkeyshines, and (b) a new enemy, even worse than The Harvesters just stepped in, oh, and (c), an old war buddy turned evil wiccan from Gasco--I mean Gascogne's--past crawled out from the woodwork. I sure hope we learn somethin' from all that. We hope. It's a crazy world out there, for sure...you with me so far?

--a440.

Next: Chapter 4: Bravery Is For Fools.