Disclaimer - I own nothing but the plot.
Before I begin, I was wondering if anyone would like to adopt a plot bunny? Details are here:
h t tp/calikosworld. wetpaint. com / page /Harry+Potter+Plotbunny+231
Just remove the spaces…
A/N - this is TOTALLY AU. Voldieshorts died freakishly before he made his first horcrux, Peter never betrayed the Potters, and Harry, (currently 3rd year), grew up hiding from his father's and adopted uncles' pranks.
Phoenix Flight
Chapter Four - The Four Kings of Chaos
Naruto stepped out of the floo, slighting tripping over the andirons before he balanced himself out. The room he stepped into was tiny, grubby, and dark. It was also nearly empty, save for a suspicious set of men chortling at the bar. Nearby, sat three older kids, sighing, watching the men with long-suffering expressions on their faces.
Suddenly, the middle kid looked up, his green eyes widening in horror as he spotted something over Naruto's head. His prank instincts screamed, prompting Naruto to jump further into the room. The blond turned back toward the fireplace, just in time to see Kakashi get slimed with something purple as he had stepped through. Naruto snorted, giggling, "Glad that wasn't me!"
"I'm sure." His sensei dryly said. "It seems you're not the only prank master anymore."
"OI! Sorry, mate! That was meant for someone else." One of the three men at the bar spoke. "Names Sirius Black." He came forward, offering his hand, then inched it away as a bit of slime fell from Kakashi's fingers. "You might have a bit of trouble with fan girls for a while. That stuff is full of veela pheromone."
His sandy-haired friend rolled his eyes, then waved his wand, cleaning the substance off of the Jounin and the floor. "You could have offered to clean him up, Siri."
Sirius huffed, turning to him. "He's come through the floo, I
figured he was a wizard. You are a wizard, aren't you?"
Kakashi
growled at the man. "No. I'm here with Headmaster Dumbledore and
my students to outfit one of them for school."
"Oops?" The third man grinned, then approached to make peace.
"Hi. I'm James Potter, that's Remus Lupin, and you already
met the mutt. We heard that Dumbledore was going to be here today,
and that he was to meet a man we've been pranking since we were
kids." At Kakashi's slightly outraged expression, he waved his
hands to cry pax. "Trust me, no one deserves it more than him!
Anyway, we promised we would hold off on the torture this semester.
Dumbledore thought it would be a bad influence on the students.
So.."
"You figured to get one very lame prank in before you
had to be responsible adults?" Kakashi drawled. "Are you three
professors?" He was seriously reconsidering this entire
self-appointed mission. All he needed was his personal junior prank
master to get inspired.
"How can you tell?" Sirius asked, eyes crinkled as he laughed.
"Genius shows, Padfoot!" James crowed.
"Basic Spell crafting. Third year and above." Remus quietly put in. His face was scrunched as if he were in pain. "I'm really sorry about this. Sometimes, I don't know how I let myself get talked into these things…"
"Hmmm. Hatake Kakashi." Kakashi said, holding out his hand. "I'll be teaching physical education this term. My godson, Namikaze Naruto, will be attending as a first year." Kakashi pointed out Naruto. "The other two are Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke. They will be attending a non-magical high school this year."
"Hello, to all three of you. It's a pleasure." Remus nodded, discreetly waving his wand at the Jounin's back. "I suppose that we'll see you at Hogwarts."
The wolf noticed that Dumbledore had been standing in the corner talking to Tom. "Headmaster, How was your morning?"
Dumbledore smiled knowingly, but only replied, "It has been delightful, Remus. But now, we need to be going. Plenty of stores to visit, and sights to see."
He then turned, heading towards the alley, biting his lip to keep from chuckling. Oh, this was going to be amusing!
The shinobi hurried to follow, not once stopping to wonder if something just might be a bit off about the whole meeting. Once the door closed behind him, Remus sat down, smiling as the two marauders stared at him.
"Suck up." Sirius bitched.
"Let's go." Remus replied. "I don't want to lose sight of them."
"Remus… what did you do?" James asked, eyebrows raised. He sounded very amused.
The Werewolf didn't answer as he headed over to the kids. "Do you three want to see your new phys ed teacher embarrassed?"
Hermione shrugged, but stood up, followed by Harry and Ron. "We have nothing better to do."
"Seriously, Remus.. What did you do?" James demanded.
"Let's just say, that even if the prank was lame… he had no right to come out and say it."
The six wizards managed to catch up to the shinobi plus Dumbledore fairly easily. None of them were in a hurry, and the kids were gawking at the sights. People would stare at them as they passed by, but Dumbledore was the only one who knew why, and he wasn't talking. Finally, it was one giggle too much.
"What's wrong with you people?" Naruto yelled, frustrated. "Haven't you ever saw Ninja before?"
Sakura smacked him upside the head, groaning. "Naruto, you idiot! Didn't you ever read your history book at the academy? The elemental countries are hidden from the rest of the world! They backed away from civilization during the age of the Roman conquerors! If they have ever seen a ninja, it was either a fake in costume, or they didn't know he was a nin! Besides… something tells me that that's not what they are laughing about."
"Huh?" The blond scratched his head, then looked at the rest
of the group that were walking ahead. Choking, he suddenly
understood. "Sakura-chan…"
"Hmmm?" She was in the
process of turning around to join Sasuke, Kakashi, and the
Headmaster.
"I think I know why everyone is giggling at us… the thing is, I don't want to be the one to tell Kakashi-sensei." His lips twitched. Whoever had done that was his type of person. It was an amazingly simple prank, or would be with magic.
"Why?" She glanced at Kakashi, then swallowed a shout. "Oh boy… He's going to throw a fit."
"Yeah. Who knew that he wore 'Lil Nin' boxers?"
The two looked at each other and lost it. "I thought that 'Icha Icha' was the only thing he read!" She snorted, leaning against her team mate.
He smirked. "Well, he's obviously a manga fan…. Maybe we should buy him some for his birthday." Naruto started to walk, then stopped, grabbing Sakura's arm. "Um, should we say anything?"
"Are you kidding? This is great!" She chortled. Sakura actually chortled. "Just snag Sasuke for a bit, so he can get the joke."
A few seconds later, and all three genin were enjoying their habitually late sensei's humiliation. Life was definitely most good.
A short distance away, three overgrown teenagers and three regular teens were holding each other up. "No one, and I mean no one, calls our pranks lame." The calm, almost staid Marauder said, as he held open the door to the Quality Quidditch.
Harry snorted, following Remus in. He was just glad that, for once, the joke wasn't on him.
In the reception of Gringott's, a band of goblins grinned evilly at the silver-haired shinobi. "Sir, we require pants to be visible in our establishment. I must say, your boxer shorts are very stylish, but their hardly appropriate attire for banking."
With that said, the Goblin headed back to his station, snickering, as Kakashi put both his hands on his rear.
"What do you mean, visible? I'm wearing pants!" He yelled, only to close his eyes in aggravation as he heard his students laugh. "Alright, one of you tell me what's going on! Sasuke? Naruto? Alright, Sakura, spill it!"
Naruto decided to be brave. "Should we buy you some 'Lil Nin' Manga for your birthday, Sensei?"
Dumbledore waved his wand, and smiled. "It seems that the Marauders have toned it down, this semester." He smiled, as the Jounin's pants reappeared. "Usually, they would have just banished them. I would advise you to never insult their handiwork. It usually leads to trouble."
Kakashi groaned, wishing that magic would make the floor swallow him up. If he ran, then he'd never live it down. If he stayed, well, he'd be the butt of everyone's jokes all day. And yes… the pun was intended!
/snicker, snicker, snicker/
Hey, all! I know that it's short, but there is a GOOD reason for that. The original chapter was deleted and picked apart on purpose. I really wanted to introduce the Marauders this chapter, and have Naru-chan and company go shopping. I did NOT put in what they had bought. It's a given that they bought Naruto's books and wands, and uniforms. He did NOT get a pet - He couldn't find one he liked, and I plan on taking care of his familiar another way. I didn't feel like going through the whole Spiel about his day- it would have been boringly mind numbing and heart renderingly cliche. For those that MUST know what type of wand he has, it will be Ivy, with Dragon heartstring.
Interestingly enough, I took a page out of JKR's book, and assigned it according to his birthday. Now, this is the kicker - "Ivy: Gort(G) Moon of Buoyancy and resilience, the Ivy symbolizes healing, protection
cooperation and exorcism. Tree of resurrection."
I thought this was interesting, since the demonologist will, in effect, exorcise Kyuubi… and the magic, will in effect, resurrect Naruto… Ok, that last bit is pushing it, since Naruto wouldn't have actually died… but still…
Also, Naru-chan IS a resilient AND Buoyant personality. He's also very protective of those he loves, and has a habit of healing mental scars (ex. Gaara, and to some extent, the princess of Snow)
'Course.. He's not very cooperative about stuff he doesn't like…
Caliko
