One Show Only (No Encore)

"I thank you, Shepard, for everything you have done."

Cross posted to AO3.

So very sorry this is late! There was a death in the family and I haven't been able to do this until now. Hopefully this chapter is worth the wait...

Chapter 04: Thane

"Have you actually told Kolyat you're coming home?" Shepard asked, walking Thane through C-Sec just in case he set off any alarms. C-Sec was crowded, as always, but Shepard's heavy armor cleared a space around them. Thane stood to her right, at the exact edge of the bubble of space around her, looking part of the crowd even as they strolled together through the station. Chaya was sure Thane didn't actually need a Spectre escort, and even more sure he was aware of what she was doing and just humoring her, but it did make her feel better.

"I sent him a message," Thane confirmed, allowing her to take point through the sensor grid leading to the main thoroughfare of Zakera Ward. No alarms went off as they entered pedestrian traffic, no bad guys jumped out at them, no bombs went off, no YMIR mechs suddenly dropped from overhead. That was a good sign. "My son is letting me stay with him for a few days until I find an apartment."

Chaya only just managed not to ask if he had enough credits to pay the Citadel's exorbitant rent rates. "I'm glad you two are working things out," she said instead, starting down the street. Before she could take more than a few steps, though, Thane grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the street, and into a quiet spot up against Jin's Toy Emporium.

"It is all thanks to you," Thane said to her, smiling, and squeezed her fingers gently. " I need to thank you, Shepard, for everything you have done."

"I just did the grunt work," Shepard said. "It's working because you were willing to admit your mistakes, and work to make up for them. That's the important thing."

Thane shook his head. "No," he insisted. "You were the one that gave me the courage to chase after him. And if you had not stopped him, he would have fallen willingly into a darkness I don't think anyone could have brought him out of. You saved him. By saving him, you saved me, as well. You are a true friend, Shepard."

She did not save people. Shepard swallowed back the words, trying to find the right smile of appreciation for such heartfelt gratitude. Thane noticed, and the happiness on his face faded to concern.

"Shepard?" he asked. "You are troubled."

Through the window, Jin's Toy Emporium looked like something out a horror vid. Some of the toys looked like torture implements - Shepard figured those were for Turian and Salarian kids- and some of them had dimensions and colors that would cause headaches if one was unwary enough to stare. There was a brightly painted set of something that gleamed and pulsed in the air. Shepard stiffened and looked closer, and the toy was just a toy again, without any air of menace.

Someone touched her shoulder and Shepard jumped, knocking into an unwary pedestrian. Thane stared at her, startled. Shepard turned and tried to apologize to the Turian woman she had walked into, but the woman ignored her, stalking away cursing arrogant humans who thought they owned the place. Thane took her hand again, and pulled her back out of the foot traffic and against the building.

"Shepard?" Thane asked.

"That was embarrassing," Shepard said, staring at the place where the Turian had been. "I cannot believe I did that. I'm lucky I didn't run into a human or Asari, I might have broken bones." She was wearing battle armor, not fatigues or civilian dress. She had to more be careful.

"Shepard!" Thane repeated, a third time.

Chaya's head jerked around to at him, guilt curling in her gut.

"Something is wrong," Thane told her gently. "Come and tell me about it." He kept her hand and used it to guide her to a cafe next to Jin's Toy Emporium. There was an empty table by the streetside window, and they sat there and ordered for tea. It was only once Chaya was seated that Thane let go of her hand, and slid down into the chair across from her.

"You have done so much for me," Thane said, folding his hands on the table the way he used to in the Normandy's life support room. "Will you tell me what troubles you?"

Their tea arrived in the form of a pot of hot water, two delicate cups, and a tray with sugar, lemon, and cream beside a box of black tea bags. Shepard used the ritual of pouring the water and dropping in the little bag to try and order her thoughts.

"You have given me a gift I never hoped to receive," Thane prodded again, after she stayed silent. "You have given me my son. That I survived to come home to him -the air is molten against my skin. A shot fires to my left, to my right. 'Boom! Got one!' Garrus crows delight beside me. Collector's scatter like a startled flock as Jack flings out her hands." He blinked at her, his eyes contracted and visibly green. "I apologize. That I am going home to him is all because of you. Please, if there is any way to discharge the debt I owe you, let me."

"You're playing dirty," Shepard stalled. "You don't ... This is different."

"You have been distracted," Thane said. "I confess, I did not think you would have up split apart like this. I can see the benefit," he mused. "Samara may be able to convince some of her people. Gunt will be a good emissary for the Krogan. I still have a few contacts on Kahje. Alone, we may be able to accomplish a great deal. But there is a part of me that wishes to stay, and fight at your side."

Shepard swallowed. "I need to win this," she said. "We need to win, but I - I need to defeat the Reapers. I need to save everyone." She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "I never save anyone," she admitted. "My grandmother died trying to reach me during a gang war. My unit died. Jenkins died. I let Ash get blown up. But this." Shepard took a deep breath and opened her eyes, staring directly at Thane. "I killed three hundred fifty two thousand people," she said. "I survived when an entire system didn't. I have to make this worth it. I have to do everything, every tiny stupid hurtful thing, to win. Because if I don't, then I'm the monster who slaughtered three hundred thousand innocent people for no reason."

Thane stared back at her. "Shepard," he said. "You have done far more than anyone else has, than anyone else could ask, in this war. The deaths are the fault of the Reapers, not yours."

"My head knows that," Shepard said. "But I was the one to press that button. Not the Reapers. Not Kenson. Me."

They were both silent for a long time after that. Shepard finally started drinking her tea, letting the heat flow through her and soothe the ache inside. Thane sipped his drink slowly, eyes hooded, both hands folded around his tea. The cafe owner stopped by the table to try and talk them into dessert, or perhaps an appetizer? that they both refused. When both their mugs were drained, Thane looked up at her again.

"I have only known you a few months," he said. "But I remember every moment. -Illium, soaked in sunlight, glittering off wet pools of blood on the pavement. 'M-m-mariana,' a woman stutters, terror soaks her face in tears and kohl. 'The usual plan,' Shepard says- You may not save everyone, but you try. Not many people can say that. And that is why you will win. You do not pick the easiest path, or the fastest. You pick the best path. You may not believe it, but I believe it. I believe in you."

Shepard laughed wetly. "I suppose we'll find out if it's enough," she said. "Thanks. You're a good friend, Thane," she told him, and wiped her cheeks dry.

"More than enough," Thane said, and stood. "Shepard," he said. "Perhaps I should return with you to the Normandy. It seems that things here are not yet done."

"No!" Shepard said, jumping to her feet and knocking the chairs and table. "No. Your son is waiting, Thane. And I'll be okay. I promise."

Thane studied her again, while Shepard straightened up their table.

"I think you will be," Thane said, and let her walk him home.

End 04.

Monday: Shepard startled herself by laughing. "I think you just called me a bad influence."

Thank you for reading! Please review if you liked it :)