I'm grateful for bein' so damn busy all mornin'. Tryin' to knock out these repairs keeps my mind offa my brother. Now that I'm away from him, I feel like shit for what I said. I know why he keeps hisself high. Same reason I keep myself busy: Helps you forget. Can't imagine I'll ever get through to Merle. But I'll keep tryin'.
Me an' Zach finally finished up one of the cars, an' that guy already picked it up. The other car's waitin' on parts to come in this week, so I've moved to pullin' out the fuel tank from Beth's truck. We removed the lines an' all the fuel yesterday, now's just a matter of the tank itself.
"You done with that service slip, yet? Could use your help with this heavy bitch."
Zach finishes his write up on the one job an' walks over to me. Need him to support the thing so's I can get the straps off. He gets under the tank an' gets ready to hold it up. 'Fore I start, I run my finger over the bolts.
"Think I shoulda ordered new tank straps, too?"
Zach moves out from under the tank. He looks over the bolts, runs his hand along the straps. "Nah, man. Little lubricant'll take care of that. The straps don't look bad, just rusted bolts."
Figure he's right, so I walk over to the shelf an' grab the WD-40. When the new tank comes in, I'll just use new bolts. I get back under the truck an' spray the hell outta the rusted ones. It takes a little work with my wrench but the fuckers finally loosen up.
"I'm 'bout to take 'em out, you got that thing?"
"Yeah, man. Just do it already. I gotta piss like crazy."
Dumbass. I laugh at him an' finish removin' the bolts. Once the straps are off, he sets it on the mat at our feet. He heads out to the bathroom an' I go to get a smoke outta my box. I start to walk outside when my phone rings. My first thought's that it's Merle, but I know better. He never calls me. Gotta be a debt collector. I turn back 'round an' grab it outta my box. For a second, I think I'm imaginin' it. I stare at the name for another two rings 'fore I finally answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Daryl! It's Beth."
I'm still tryin' to grasp that she's called me. I hadn't expected to hear from her 'til Monday. I wanna find out what she'd wanted me for, but I see Zach walk back in an' decide to step outside. I've heard enough of his shit on this matter.
"Everything alright?"
When I get out, I lean back against the brick wall. I don't know why she'd call me if somethin' weren't right. Maybe she's in her dad's truck an' somethin' happened to it. If it's a problem with another vehicle, it'd make sense for her to call me.
"I was wonderin' if I could ask you to do me a huge favor? I'd really appreciate your help."
Placin' my phone between my shoulder an' ear, I light up. The first drag always feels so fuckin' good, an' I pocket my lighter. I hold my phone up again, speakin' 'round the cigarette. "What's up?"
It really don't matter to me what the favor is. Don't see myself tellin' her no. She pauses for a while. "Well, I'm kinda stuck at school. My ride, um, bailed on me. I can't call Daddy since he's got his farm runs this afternoon. He always leaves his phone in the truck while he looks over people's livestock."
I can't imagine what any of this has to do with me, but she sighs an' continues. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to ramble. I was just wonderin' if you wouldn't mind pickin' me up an' takin' me home? I feel awful for-"
"What time you need me there?"
"Really? You don't mind? I'm actually standin' outside now. But I can wait inside until you can make it."
I smile to myself. Drop my smoke to the ground, grind it out an' head back in the shop to grab my keys. Zach looks up from his box. "Naw. Headin' out now. Community college, right?"
"Yes. You're amazin', Daryl. Really. I'll see you in a bit."
I end the call an' shove my phone in my pocket. Zach comes over to me an' leans up against my box. He smirks an' crosses his arms over his chest. "Don't needa guess who that was."
I ignore him an' wipe my hands the best I can. "Be back in a little while. You gonna be alright here?"
He laughs at me. "You serious? I can handle myself. All's I'm waitin' on is Mrs. Grimes to come in. Reckon the rest of the afternoon can be used on inventory an' restockin'. You gonna be alright?"
I look at him. He's fightin' back a smile. I can't be mad at him. He ain't ever seen me act like this. Shit, I ain't ever seen me act like this. I scratch the back of my head an' look out the door. It was easy enough to tell her I'd pick her up. It's gonna be hard rememberin' it ain't more than that. "Yeah, I'm alright. See you in a few."
Keys in hand, I head out the door to my truck. I realize how dirty the seat was. Did I really let her sit in this fuckin' thing yesterday? I open the glove box an' pull out a spare rag I've kept, usin' it to wipe the seat down. I reckon it's good enough an' I toss it back in the box. I look up through the passenger window an' see Zach starin' at me, laughin'. I flick him off an' get in the truck, startin' it quickly an' turnin' outta the yard.
I roll my window down an' savor the cool breeze on my skin. It's been hot as hell lately. We try not to run fans in the shop, so we keep them bay doors open while we work. But it don't help much. We usually take breaks in the lobby to cool off. Cool weather can't get here fast enough.
I turn at the end of the road an' head towards town. I've only ever seen the college, so I least know where it is. I try not to go out in town too often. I feel like the people here look at me weird. Everybody knows my brother. He's been in fights an' gotten arrested plenty of times for him to get noticed. I've always kept a low profile. I know they must see me as trailer trash. Guess that's why I keep to my side of town with the rest of the garbage.
I see the school an' turn in. It takes a minute to figure out where I'm s'posed to go, but I finally see her standin' by the curb. From this distance, I can admire her without catchin' her attention. She's wearin' a blue dress an' them same boots. Her pale hair's down past her shoulders an' curly. She looks beautiful. I'm in my greased up work uniform, sweatin' somethin' terrible. I can't imagine her wantin' to be seen 'round here in the same truck as me.
I sigh as I pull up to where she is an' that's the first time I notice the guy standin' by her. He looks like he's tryin' to talk to her. She don't look too happy that he's there. I see her look over to me an' her whole face lights up. Gotta fight back the urge to smile at her, last thing I need's to look like a fuckin' idiot. I lean over an' open the door for her. She climbs in an' shuts it. I nod to the guy, who's now gapin' over at the two of us.
"Friend of yours?"
She glances back to him an' sits back against the seat. I pull outta the lane an' head onto the main road from the lot. We get to the stop sign an' she pulls her hair up. I quickly glance over at the pale skin of her jaw an' neck, now exposed to me. I imagine my fingers runnin' over her jaw an' down her throat, how soft her skin's gotta be. My mind wanders to my lips fallin' there, to how she'd taste. I shake my head of the thought an' turn down the road. I needa get a fuckin' grip.
"You know, I really wish he'd just take the hint."
Her voice surprises me. She hadn't answered me an' I didn't wanna make her mad. I look over an' her eyes catch mine. I turn my gaze back to the road. She sighs an' rolls down the window. "I told him I didn't mind bein' friends. We were friends first, anyways. Well, Thursday night we were hangin' out down by the old ball field an' he told me he didn't wanna just be friends. Started beggin' me to change my mind an' take him back."
So that was the ex. He looked like every other guy in this town. Blue jeans an' cowboy boots type. I woulda thought he was younger than her, clean shaved like that. It makes me wonder if she only likes guys like him. The kind that ain't ever really got their hands dirty. Probably ain't ever got nothin' dirty. If that's what she's into, there ain't no chance for a guy like me. I grip my steerin' wheel a little tighter. "What'd you do?"
"Told him to take me home. That's when we drove past the bar an' I saw my dad was there. He dropped me off there an' was so mad at me that he refused to stay to help with Daddy. That's why I've been ignorin' him. How can he tell me he loves me, just to leave me like that?"
I ain't sure what I'm s'posed to say. I don't really wanna listen to how some other guy's in love with her. I want her to change the subject. Talk 'bout anything else. Her arm hangs outta the window an' I see her look over at me outta the corner of my eye.
"Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there."
We come to another stop an' I glance over to her. She don't needa thank me for somethin' like that. I feel uncomfortable. Ain't used to no one thankin' me for shit. I nod to her, the best I can do when I ain't got the words to tell her. The car behind me honks an' I hit the gas.
"I'm sorry. It's rude to talk about my problems with you. I'm sure you don't care about that kinda stuff."
Part of me's a little offended that she'd say that. But I don't defend myself. How else could she see me? I can't look like the type that knows 'bout this shit. An' I reckon I don't know it, really. "S'alright. He your ride that bailed on you?"
She don't say, an' I know the answer right away. He'd probably bothered her some more an' she didn't wanna deal with it. I'm the backup plan to get her home. My stomach turns at the thought. I mean to say somethin' to her, but she speaks first.
"I don't have any friends. Not here, at least. My two best friends growin' up are at outta state colleges. Jimmy's the only friend I had left. I shoulda never dated him." She lets out a small laugh. "Now I definitely have no friends here."
I can't picture her not havin' friends. She seems like a nice enough girl. I'd pegged her for the homecomin' queen type. Imagined her with a whole swarm of people followin' her 'round. I chew at my nail. Guess me an' her got more in common than I'd thought. I turn onto her road an' look out to the fields. It's real beautiful out here. I'd give all I got to live at a place like this. I notice the barns an' see two horses out in the pasture. Her father's got crops growin' on both sides of the road. Reckon he'll be harvestin' soon.
It ain't long 'fore I pull up to her house an' I feel like an ass for not speakin' more. I thought she'd climb out an' head up to her porch but she turns in her seat to face me. I lean back against my door an' look her over. She don't look sad talkin' 'bout those things. I figured a girl would take somethin' like that a lot harder.
"What's new with you?"
I stare at her for a second, can't believe she actually asked me that. I shrug. What the hell do I say? She knows I'm workin' on her truck. "Got your old fuel tank dropped. Truck's ready for the new one."
She smiles at me. I bring my hand back to my mouth an' watch her pull her hair back down, rakin' her fingers through the curls. Her eyes turn back up to me an' she bites down on her lip. I can't imagine what she's thinkin', but she looks beautiful like that. "So, it's gonna be done soon?"
I look down at my free hand, my fingers trace the tear in the bench seat. I run my other hand through my hair. I'd hoped we wouldn't get to this, not yet. She wants her damn truck back. She don't care that I'd wanna get to know her or that I like seein' her. How could she even know that? I turn into a fuckin' mute whenever I'm with her. I sigh. "Should have it back to you by Tuesday mornin'."
Her hand falls to the bottom of her dress. I'd tried to keep my focus offa her legs, but the sudden movement caught my attention. It's a shorter dress, fallin' just to her thigh. But it ain't the trashy type of dresses girls wear. It don't look like somethin' painted on her. I look back up an' my face gets hot when I see she's been watchin' me the whole time I stared.
"Maybe I can get it Thursday? I have classes Tuesday, Wednesday an' Saturday. If that's alright with you."
"Shouldn't be a problem. You gonna be able to get to school an' all?"
"Well, Daddy can drop me off. I'll just find a ride. Maybe Jimmy will cool down over the weekend."
It ain't my place, but I don't want her fixin' things with him. She probably don't realize it, but she just gave me the extension I'd been hopin' for. Probably the only chance I got. I drop my eyes back to the seat when I speak to her. "I'll pick you up. Ain't a big deal."
This is one of them moments where I wished I'd think more 'fore speakin'. I meant what I said, but I hadn't meant to say it out loud. She don't say nothin' an' I wait for her to jump outta my truck an' run up to her house. When she don't, I look back up to her eyes. They're a warmer blue than earlier. Her lips pull up into a small smile an' I can feel everything inside of me meltin'.
"I'd really love that, Daryl."
There's somethin' different in the way she said my name that time. Almost softer. I can't place it. I like how she said it, an' I imagine her sayin' it more often. Just like that. But I gotta stop thinkin' like that. I clear my throat an' look for a distraction. I point to her dress. "That what vets wear nowadays?"
She laughs at me. "Tuesdays an' Wednesday's are my clinical days. I wear scrubs, then. Saturday's are dedicated to the bookwork an' tests. An' I don't wanna be a veterinarian. Just a technician."
"Why?"
"The vets have to make all the hard decisions. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at an animal an' decide its fate. But I know I can follow the decisions made."
I guess what she says makes sense. She don't seem like the type that could put somethin' down. I almost laugh at the idea of takin' her bowhuntin'. Doubt she'd like that much. 'Fore I can say anything else, Beth opens the door an' climbs out. I don't wait for her to ask me, just walk up to the house with her.
I think 'bout how she said she don't have friends. I ain't got much myself, 'sides Zach. Jim's just my boss an' my brother ain't exactly what you'd call a friend. The way she talks, she ain't even got that. "You, uh, got any plans tonight?"
Her eyes dance wildly as she looks up at me. I wait for her answer. We're on her porch, in the shade an' outta the heat. But my body feels like it's on fire. She shakes her head no, don't say nothin' an' I realize she's waitin' to hear what I gotta offer. I take a breath an' scratch at my stubble. "Me an' Zach were gonna head out to Terminus. Drink some beers for a while. If you wanna come, I can pick you up an' bring you home after."
I don't know why she'd wanna spend her Saturday night in a bar with two men she don't know, but I know I want her to say yes. Maybe a few beers can open me up some. 'Sides, ain't like we're complete strangers. She seemed fine spendin' time with us yesterday. An' she trusted me enough to let me drive her 'round. I'd only been thinkin' 'bout her sayin' she ain't got nobody. Me an' Zach ain't much, but I reckon we're better than nothin'.
Now I'm waitin' on her. I begin to wonder if it's always like this when you talk to the opposite sex. I feel my heart racin' an' my palms get sweaty. It's the dumbest fuckin' thing. I can't see how people do this all the time. Zach always talks 'bout his dates an' he never explains shit like this. But I guess you don't want people to know how you feel like an idiot.
"That sounds like fun. Call me when you're on your way?"
I nod to her, can't find my fuckin' voice. She actually wants to spend time with me. I don't even care if Zach's there, reckon him bein' with us would keep it from feelin' weird. It hits me that I'm just standin' here on her fuckin' porch, hands in my pockets an' starin' at her.
"An', Daryl? Thanks again for helpin' me out. I really do appreciate it."
She reaches her hand out an' lightly touches my arm. The spot feels like it's set in flames. My eyes lock on our contact. I try to clear the lump outta my throat. "Alright. I'll call you later."
Her arm falls back to her side. I turn offa her porch an' head back to my truck. I look up to see her still standin' there, smilin' down at me. For a second, I just look at her. She really does look good in that dress, an' all of a sudden I don't mind the hot weather so much.
"Still feel like gettin' drunk?"
He turns to me an' grins. "Hell yeah, man. Always."
"Terminus sound good?"
His expression changes. He knows better than anybody how I feel 'bout that place. Shit, I can't believe I even suggested it to her. But I figured she wouldn't wanna sit in Zach's garage while we work on our shit. He raises an eyebrow at me. "Why do I get the feelin' you're really askin' me to be your wingman?"
I stretch my arms back behind me. Zach ain't a dumb guy. He picks up on shit real quick. I start to clean up my tools an' lock up the bay doors. I turn back to see him still standin' there. "Look, it ain't like that. Just figured we'd all hang out together."
He goes to his own tools. "Then we'll go to Terminus. But next weekend's the garage. I got the new system for my car so you an' me are gonna work on that. Friday night?"
When he turns back to me, I nod to him. I don't ever voice it, but I know I'm lucky to have a friend like Zach. We mess with each other all the time, but we always got each other's back. I head out to the lobby an' grab a soda. He comes in as I take a drink. "I have to ask, an' don't get pissed off. Do you have any idea what you're doin' with this girl?"
I set my soda on the counter an' stare at him. What a stupid fuckin' question. "Meanin'?"
"Meanin', do you plan on this bein' a one time thing or is it more than that?"
I drink some more, buyin' myself time to think on it. I figure she sees this as only a chance to be friends. Maybe it could be more, maybe not. If she don't want me as more than a friend, would I still wanna spend time with her? I think of how she smiles at me, how comfortable she is with me. As much as it'd fuckin' suck, I know I wouldn't stop seein' her. "If she wants to be friends with me, it'll be more often."
Zach shakes his head an' laughs at me. "Friends? Jesus, Daryl. That girl's gonna torture you."
"Shut the fuck up, Zach."
