Advice of the week:
If you feel like no one in the world cares about you, try missing a car payment.
Paul
I was floating. She liked me. She liked me and we were going on a date. Nothing could stop my high not even Seth and Collin laughing at me. Well…
"Look at him! Ahahaha, it's like she have a leash around his bal-" I punched him square in the jaw. "Ouuuaaawww"
"Defensive much." Leah said walking by.
"ahaha you.are.so.in.for.it" Collin said between fits of laughter. I lunged for him but he was too fast. He continued to laugh and I couldn't help phasing. I probably phased the most compared with my other pack members. I'd grown accustomed to getting my clothes off fast enough for them not to get ripped. I had to wear a lot of Goodwill clothes for the first few months but I was pretty adaptable. Whereas when Collin phased right before I landed on him, he ripped his pants, at least he managed to get his shoes off in time. I laughed at Collin as he struggled underneath me. I looked down at the pup he was about three-fourths my size. I bit his arm and drew blood so that I was sure to assert my dominance. Collin phased back and grabbed his arm; I phased back and put my pants on.
"Geez Paul, you didn't need to bite me like that." He whined. I liked Collin; he was the younger guy that I looked after. I was kind of his older brother; I had been there when he started changing. I sat with him holding his hand as he screamed and burned up with a fever. He was my special pup. Jake looked after Seth and Leah and Sam watched everyone.
"Calm down. You aren't dying, look at your stupid arm, it is fine." I said and walked over to the kitchen. "Emily, can I ask for some advice?"
"Always." She had a secret smile that had some kind of 'girl' meaning to it, I probably didn't want to know.
"So, Lila. What do you think?" I asked Emily; I had a great respect for Emily. She was always and forever would be the pack mother, probably even after I started ageing. I trusted her about as much as I trusted Sam, maybe more.
"Considering that I haven't met her… It's hard to say, Paul." She was smiling her 'secret' smile.
"What? What are you smiling about?" I was getting frustrated with her; I had told Emily all about Lila.
"Paul. We've known each other a long, long time and I have never seen you this happy. I don't care if this girl is a monster or absurdly beautiful, she might be your imprint."
"What? You're crazy." I started walking away, but Sam stopped me, I turned back to face Emily.
"I just want you to accept the possibility. I certainly don't know how it works; I just know that a few weeks ago you never would have asked me about this girls." She continued to smile.
"Paul, I can't get the image of this girl out of my head. It reminds me of when Jared imprinted. You just can't see it because… well no one expected you to imprint, I guess not even you." Sam was joking but it was still kind of true. I had been really bitter, deep down I resented being a werewolf. I loved it and I hated it; it gave me a sense of belonging. I needed them in my life, but I hated that I wasn't normal. I craved normality.
"Emily, where should I take Lila on our date? What should I wear? Help." She raised an eyebrow. "Please."
"Alright, later tonight I'll talk you through everything." She said rolling her eyes and she chuckled in her graceful way.
I made her cookies. I liked to bake and I was really good at it; it was just a stupid talent that I got teased for a lot. Emily was the only one who accepted me for me and encouraged my talents, no matter how girlie. I made her chocolate peanut butter cookies.
"Aww thank you Paul, you know how much I love your cooking." I blushed a little; I had a hard time accepting compliments.
"Alright, let's get down to business." I said and I got out a pen and paper to take notes with, I didn't want to screw this up. "Where should we go to dinner?"
"I don't know this Lila girl, but the best date I ever had with Sam was on the cliffs. We had a picnic at sunset, it was perfect. You could have told me that the world would end in five minutes and there was no place I'd rather have been." Emily was reliving the moment and I could almost see it through her eyes. Picnic at sunset, I cooked, Lila glowing in the dimming sun. She would love it. It would be amazing.
"Emily, I love it. Thank you. What should I wear?" I asked looking down, I only ever wore shorts and shoes, sometimes not even shoes. At work I would wear my boots and some kind of pants. It wasn't much, but this was just my life. I would be stuck at twenty five at the strongest of my youth for god knows how long and I wanted to be free. Clothing seemed to be optional.
"Well, for starters you must wear a shirt and a nice one." I gave her a look. "Ok you can borrow one of Sam's. Nice shoes, not your work boots and real pants. No stains!" she warned as I stalked off to Sam's room. I tried on a few 'nice' shirts and Emily basically said yea or nay.
"What about this one." It was a dark green, almost exactly the color of my eyes. I hadn't ever seen Sam wear it before.
"Perfect. Just be sure to call 911 when her heart stops." Emily said with a smirk. "You are going to do great!"
"I should call her now and tell her what time I'll be picking her up." Emily nodded and walked with me to the kitchen. I dialed the number of Langdon Farms, it rang once, twice, someone picked up.
"This is Langdon Farms how may I help you?" it was Pedro, Maria's oldest son. He was a cool guy and seemed to be the only brother that didn't hate me.
"Hey Pedro, how are things going?" I asked cheerfully, this guy made sure I would get paid, I had to be nice.
"Good man, how are you?" he seemed genuine enough, I liked Pedro.
"Fine fine, hey could you connect me with Lila?" I asked hopefully.
"Yeah, of course. I hear you two have a date. My little bro messed that one up bad, I know you won't do the same. If you do, I'll kill you. Hold on a sec." He was connecting me, they really were like her brothers. Overprotective brothers.
"Hey Paul! How are you?" I froze at the sound of her voice; I wished I were with her. I wanted to tell her how much I wanted to be with her. "Paul?"
"I want to see you, I mean, I'll be picking you up at 7:30 tomorrow. You know, for our date." I smacked myself on the forehead. Why? Why was I such an idiot?
"Sure, Paul." She sounded like she was smiling; she seemed pleased. "I can't wait. Any hints about where we're going?"
"Heh, not a chance." She had so much natural grace on the phone while I stuttered and sounded like a moron. Who was I kidding? How could she ever like me back?
"Because you are wonderful and a catch." Emily replied to my thoughts.
"How did you-"
"I don't need to hear your thoughts to understand." She looked at me again and I was grateful. Emily was truly amazing.
Lila
"What about this?" I did a 360˚ slow turn for my aunt, she was snickering. I was wearing a pale yellow summer dress with red flowers.
"It's nice Lila, but it's a little dressy. Where did he say you were going, again?" she was eyeing me.
"That's the problem! He didn't." I took that dress off and put a green one on, this one was a little dressier with nice beadwork. "This?"
"No, that's way too dressy." My aunt reminded me. It was pretty and I liked it, too bad. I changed into a sapphire blue dress that was an everyday dress and brought out my eyes nicely.
"Ok, what about this?" I bit my lip and looked down; I liked the shape of this dress. I looked at my aunt Kris and she was smiling sadly at me. "Is it really that bad?"
"Oh no. I'm just being silly, you look so beautiful. I'm so glad you're here for the summer." I ran over to her and hugged her.
"I think this is the one." I said and continued picking out shoes and putting on make-up.
Of course I got ready too early and of course I was nervous. What would I say? What if I was boring? What if he didn't talk much? I was pacing excitedly in the entry; I stared out the window occasionally looking for his small red car. Breathe, I felt a pack of butterflies swarm my stomach. He was officially two minutes late. Two. Minutes. What did that mean? Was he busy getting ready and lost track of time? Did he not care enough to be punctual? Oh god, even I was starting to annoy myself. Two minutes meant nothing; it maybe meant that my watch was fast. I jump about a foot and a half when the doorbell rang. I scrambled to the door and made it just before Poco who almost beat me there. I opened it and shut it quickly behind me. My eyes focused on Paul who was standing with wide eyes and his mouth hung open a little. I felt my face turn red and I smiled sweetly at him. He looked good. He was wearing a deep green shirt that brought out the color of his eyes beautifully. The shirt was a little tight but instead of looking stupid it showed off the tight muscles of his chest and stomach. I sighed and realized that we'd been staring at each other for a full minute without saying anything. I swallowed.
"I guess I didn't overdress or under-dress for whatever you have planned." I could have kicked myself. What a stupid thing to say. Why wasn't I born with a functioning brain?
"You look, I mean, I think you." I couldn't understand exactly where he was going with this, and he was obviously kicking himself. His hands shook a little, which was strange.
"I look nice?" I asked and he nodded vigorously, he took a breath.
"You look more beautiful than I can put in words, obviously." He said calmly and took my hand. He opened the door and helped me into his car. He ran to the other side of the car amazingly fast.
"So, where are we going?" I asked hopefully.
"Not a chance." He said and smiled. I could tell that he was trying hard to act normal. He drove and we made small talk until he pulled over. I was startled; this wasn't a restaurant. I was about to reach for the door but Paul was already there opening the door. He took my hand in his. His hand was so much larger than mine and warm. He opened the trunk of his car and pulled out a picnic basket, and I smiled. He led me over to one of the cliffs and laid out a blanket, I sat down and enjoyed the scenery while Paul set everything up. I was lost in the push and pull of the surf, it was mesmerizing. I smelled an amazing aroma and looked over. My jaw dropped.
"No. You bought all of this?" I looked at him dumbfounded. This meal must have cost a fortune, it looked gourmet.
"Uh, well not exactly." He looked down.
"Please don't tell you me you stole it!" he didn't seem like the type, not at all. Paul seemed good and wonderful.
"Haha, no." he chuckled lightly; a blush was spreading to his face. "I made it, I mean I cooked and baked it." I was speechless; good-looking, gentlemanly, and he could cook.
"Well, if it tastes as good as it smells I may never leave." I was beaming at him, but his expression darkened.
"When will you go back?" he asked quietly. I really didn't want to think about that.
"Classes will start back up September 24th." I would be returning to school in North Carolina instead of back to Tennessee. My parents didn't seem to care much what I did as long as my grades were good.
"That's a long time." He said simply. I decided to dig into the dinner; he had made some kind of fancy pizza. It had sun dried tomatoes, olive oil, basil and proscuitto. It was amazing and a moan escaped my lips.
"This, is, really, good." I said between chewing. My mother would have killed me if she knew I had spoken with food in my mouth. I laughed at the thought, I must have seemed crazy.
"What's so funny?" Paul asked, he seemed a little worried.
"Nothing serious; just my mother would kill me is she were here. So, I'm very very glad that she is not." I smiled and it was Paul's turn to laugh he gestured to his teeth. I found a huge piece of basil stuck there. "Yeeeah, that's embarrassing."
"Not at all." Paul smiled and stuck a piece of prosuitto in his teeth. I laughed and just enjoyed the moment of unbelievable happiness. The meal continued and each course was more amazing than the last. After we'd consumed everything (mostly due to Paul), he ate a lot. I had spent every summer with three very hungry boys, and a year of college with huge football players but never had I seen someone consume as much food as Paul. Maybe a national champion hotdog eater.
"Oof I think I ate my weight in deliciousness." I said laying back using my coat as a pillow. The sun was setting and I'd never been happier. I looked over at Paul and smiled serenely. His expression shifted suddenly, it was something I couldn't understand. He almost seemed scared. "Are you going to be sick? You practically ate a pig's worth of proscuitto."
"No, it's not that." He shook his head, and forced a smile. "I'm fine, really."
"You don't seem fine. Did I do something wrong?" he was starting to worry me; his expression didn't seem bad, just intense. Almost like he was solving a hard math problem but was happy doing it.
"No, you are perfect." He shook his head and didn't look away from me for a second. I cocked my head and raised my eyebrows. "You are amazing and beautiful and far beyond what I deserve."
"No, I'm not, I promise. But thank you, I'm sorry you were mistaken." I said gently and took his hand instead he kissed it never breaking my gaze. I shivered and he pulled me so I was sitting next to him with his arm around me. I was instantly warmed. I sighed and laid my head against Paul's chest.
"Can we never leave?" Paul asked quietly but his words rumbled against my head.
"Paul, I think I really like you." I didn't know exactly where that came from, but I knew I meant it. I was extremely comfortable with him; I realized that there was no other place I wanted to be. I thought about having to leave him eventually and go home. I tried to prepare myself for that moment of saying goodbye for the night.
"Lila." He pulled away so that I was facing him. I wondered if he was going to kiss me. I licked my lips, they were dry, typical. He leaned in a little then pulled back. "I'm not a good person. I'm trouble; you shouldn't get mixed up with me."
"You're crazy. I'm already mixed up with you and I love it." I looked at him curiously. He had never given me any indication of being a bad person, I trusted him. "I like you a lot, if anything I want to see you more if at all possible."
"I've done terrible things. Things that you wouldn't like." He said. I put my hand of his feverish cheek. I flinched at the heat.
"I don't care. I'll forgive you your past, if you forgive me mine." I said remembering the line from a movie I'd just seen, it applied. "What is it you're so worried about?"
"Uh, it's complicated." I gave him a look. "I'll tell you about it sometime." He sounded a little too casual.
"Man of many secrets, hmm?" I rolled my eyes and stood up to look at the surf again. The sun was sinking into the blue/green horizon. I felt Paul's strong arms around my waist. I shivered despite myself; I was still a little irked that he was withholding things.
"There are things I can't tell you." He murmured to my neck, more shivers. "God you smell amazing. Please forgive me."
"I suppose." I didn't like secrets, never had. I didn't like having them, I didn't like keeping them for other people and I didn't like not knowing them. I turned around to face Paul and put on my best scolding face. "I don't like secrets, not one bit. They only causes problems in my experience."
"I promise to tell you all about it soon." he said with a slight grin it looked more like a twitch. I could wait. Patience, I had to remind myself is a virtue. I took a deep breath and nodded.
"Ok. Are you ready to go?" I asked with the best smile I could muster. Paul's eyes were sad, he seemed torn. He was still keeping me waiting for an answer it was starting to get awkward. He was thinking and I couldn't understand what was going on exactly, he almost looked like he was listening.
"My friends want to meet you." He said finally. I looked at him like he was crazy and he shrugged.
"Um ok? This is our first date you do remember that right?" I said cautiously, if he didn't have a perfect body and such a good soul I would be temped to run. I looked into those beautiful eyes and I knew that he really wasn't crazy, and I really did like him. "Ok I will meet them, in time. Can we go now? It's getting cold."
"Yeah of course." He stepped closer and put his arms around me, I wasn't cold any longer and Paul seemed relieved. I smiled into his chest and looked up at him, he was about six inches taller than me and I was wearing heels. He got an intense look in his eye and his smile turned into concentration. All I could think was: Isn't there a rule about not kissing on the first date? Oh god, I want to kiss him more than anything.
"Oh." I breathed and licked my lips in preparation, they were a little dry. I was so comfortable in his arms, I hated that we would need to leave this space. I sighed as we just looked into each other's eyes. It was starting to get really dark then sun was almost completely submerged in the ocean.
"Do you know how amazingly beautiful you are?" I broke his gaze and smiled, I only felt beautiful in his arms.
"Aww shucks. You know just what to say, don't you?" I leaned in a little closer hoping he would take the bait. He did and leaned in closer as well. With our faces so close I could smell him better and took it in as much as possible. There was a strange spark between us, something so permanent it scared me. With a pounding heart and sweating palms Paul kissed me. It was beautiful and perfect. His lips were so soft but firm and ignited a swarm of butterflies within my stomach. I pulled him closer but instead he pushed back and bolted away from me into the forest.
