Chapter 4: Christmas break

The rest of the term was consumed by homework and studies. Lily had to work hard and little time to think of anything else. She kept her promise to Severus and avoided talking to him in public. They exchanged small notes in potions saying that everything was OK and glances and smiles when they met in the corridors. So Lily was astonished when Severus came to the Gryffindor table one morning at the beginning of December.

"This is for you," he said and held out a letter. "My mum sent it by owl for your parents." He spoke a touch too loud so that the others could hear that he had no choice about this conversation.

"Thank you." Lily took her letter and Severus returned to the Slytherin table. Some minutes later she followed him. "My dad writes, we´re giving you a lift from King´s Cross." Lily, too, made sure no student at the Slytherin table considered this a friendly conversation. Severus shrugged and Lily walked back to Myra.

-x-

"How did you do that?" asked Myra on their way to the Charms classroom.

"How did I do what?"

"Tell your parents to give him a lift. I never saw you write a letter."

"I didn´t. It was my dad´s idea. Though I´m glad about it. I´ll finally have a chance to speak to Severus in the car."

"Why is it so important for you to speak to him. You haven´t been friends for years, have you?"

"No, we haven´t. But I wish, we had. He´s really nice." They changed topic, when they reached the group of students already waiting in front of the classroom. "Where are you going during the holidays?"

"My aunt Rose invited us to France. I´m so looking forward to meeting my cousins."

-x-

The journey home turned out to be disappointing. Myra didn´t go to London on train as her father came to get her from Hogsmead and apparate directly to France.

On the Hogwarts express, Lily sat with the three other first year Gryffindor girls. They were talking about how cool Black and Potter were all the time. Lily wished she could sit with someone else. But as this would cause trouble for that certain someone, it was out of question.

At King´s Cross she was picked up by her parents and at last she was sitting in the back of her father´s car with Severus beside her. Instead of talking to him, she had to answer questions all way home. Especially her mother was so excited to have her back that she chatted all the time. She wanted to know everything: How are the teachers? (Nice.) Have you found new friends? (Yes. Lily and Severus smiled at each other.) Have you learned some magic by now? (Yes.) Do you get enough to eat? (Yes.) and so on and so on.

When Mr Evans´ car stopped in front of the Snape house, Lily got out, too, to say good bye to Severus.

"I´ll be at the park tomorrow. If you´d like to come..."

Lily shook her head. "Sorry, my grandmother will come. I´m not sure I can make it."

"Never mind. I´m at the park a lot. Perhaps another day."

"I´ll come as soon as I can." They shook hands.

-x-

Back in the car Lily finally asked the question, which had been lying on her soul like a rock. "What about Petunia? Did she forgive me?"

Her mother turned around in the front seat to face her younger daughter. "I´m afraid no, dear. She even refused to come to London."

"I was hoping, she stayed at home to make room for Severus."

"Well, she said,..."

"She said what, mum?"

"She said," Mrs Evans hesitated. How tell your child that her sister declines her? "that she wouldn´t come for you, and if we were to take a second of your pack, the more reason for her to stay at home. I´m sorry, dear."

"Does granny know? I mean, did you tell her, what I am?"

"Of course. And she´s as proud as we are! Look, there she is!"

Indeed, Lily´s grandmother, her father´s mother was waiting in the gateway. She waved and as soon as Lily got out of the car hugged her.

"Oh, my little darling! How are you?" she cried. "I always knew you were special!" She whispered still hugging her granddaughter and stroking her long red hair.

-x-

Petunia was in the kitchen. When Lily entered the room, she got up from her chair and left. "Petunia!" Lily called after her older sister. "Petunia, please talk to me!" The only answer was the clap of Petunia´s door. Lily went upstairs and knocked.

"Petunia! You can´t ignore me forever!"

No answer.

"Petunia! Please! I´m sorry! I didn´t know I did it. I had no control! Please open that door!"

The door was opened abruptly. Petunia, tall, slender and blonde, stood before her. "What are you going to do, if I don´t? Let it disappear?" She slammed the door closed.

"Of course not! I´m going to Hogwarts to learn control it. I´m sure I won´t let any of your things disappear any more!"

The door opened again. "Talk to me, when you learnt how to let them turn up again." With another slam Petunia withdrew into her room. Lily went to her own room and sobbed.

-x-

The situation didn´t improve. Parents and grandmother tried to get Petunia back on speaking terms with her sister but she refused. Lily met her only for the meals at the table but on that occasions conversation was restricted to remarks like "Pass the salt!". The adults tried to break the silence by chatting about Lily´s school, but Petunia seemed to regard their interest in the wizarding world as a personal insult.

The next days held more disappointment. Lily was invited by Laura, her best friend at elementary school. She came back frustrated and sad.

"What happened, dear?" her grandmother asked putting a steaming cup of cocoa in front of the girl.

"Lindsay was there and Katie and Laura. They are all attending the same school. They chatted about classes and their friends."

"Oh," Granny nodded in understanding. "And you were not part of it."

"I wasn´t. But what´s the worst, they asked about my school and friends and I couldn´t tell them anything. I´m not allowed to."

"You could have told them about your friends."

"I tried. But I can´t tell them that Myra makes me laugh, when she sends sparks through the classroom instead of levitating a book."

Mrs Evans giggled. "Sparks through the classroom. Is she doing that?"

"Yes, all the time. Her dad says, they should have named her Magpie, for she has an affinity to the glittering and shiny." They laughed.

"Why don´t you meet that little wizard, child? Your dad said, there´s one living in the other street. There´d be no need to keep those things secret from him. He´s of your kind."

Lily wiped a tear from her cheek. "You´re right, I´ll do that." She got up from her chair.

"Not now, dear!" Granny laughed. "It´s already getting dark outside. Tomorrow, child. Tomorrow will be another day."

-x-

The next day turned out to be stormy and cold. Lily decided to stay inside. There was no way Severus would be at the park in that weather. Nobody would. She spent the morning reading in her room. On second view some of her school books were very interesting. Especially the Charms text held plenty of treasures. Lily found it difficult not to take her wand and try some of the spells.

Lunch was pleasant. Mrs Evans had prepared some of Lily´s favorite dishes, among them chocolate pudding. As Petunia liked that, too, she was rather good-humored. She even said "please", when she asked Lily for the wiped cream. Things changed rapidly, when Granny tried to make a conversation.

"Lily, dear, what were you doing all morning in your room."

"Reading my school books, Granny."

"Did you, indeed. What a busy student you are, dear. What did you learn?"

Lily glanced from her mother to her grandmother. Petunia wouldn´t like the answer. Both beamed at her in pride and anticipation.

"I found a charm to make a cup tapdance." Lily finally said in a small voice.

"Really? Can you..." Granny didn´t get further, as Petunia jumped from her chair and stomped from the room.

"Sorry."

"It´s not your fault, dear."

Though everybody assured her, that it was not her fault, the atmosphere was tense at the Evans´ home. Nobody tried to stop her, when Lily made known, she was going out. Wearing a green cap, gloves and scarf, Lily strolled towards the park. When she approached the playground, she spotted a small person on the swing.

-x-

It was Severus. He wore a thin black coat, no scarf, cap or gloves. His fingers were red with cold.

"Hi," Lily greeted him. "Aren´t you freezing?"

"No."

"Don´t you lie to me. I don´t like that."

"OK. My fingers are freezing, but the rest of me is OK."

Lily sat on the other swing and offered him her gloves.

"You keep them, you´ll need them yourself."

"You take them. We can wear them in turn." He accepted the offer. "What are you doing here? I wasn´t expecting to meet you here in this weather. Are your fingers better?"

"My mum said, I needed fresh air."

"Fresh air? You´re telling stories."

Severus sighed. "See, my dad doesn´t like magic and since he learned, that I´m a wizard..."

"Yes?"

"...he´s a bit difficult."

"Difficult?"

"You´re not making this easy. My mum and he are shouting most of the time. It´s worse, when I´m around for sooner or later he´s going to complain about the wizard´s brat."

"Oh, I´m sorry."

"It´s not your fault. You take the gloves for a while."

They swung for a while in silence. It was Severus to break it. "How are things going at your home?"

"Badly. My sister won´t talk to me. She leaves the room, whenever magic is mentioned. It´s annoying."

"I´m sorry."

"It´s not your fault."

The stayed on the swings for quite a while, passing the gloves from time to time. When it grew dark, they set out for home. "Same time, same place, tomorrow?" Lily asked. Severus nodded.

-x-

The next day was sunny, but icy cold. Lily spent the morning in her room again. From downstairs she heard the happy laughter of her mother and sister. There was a soft knock at the door and her grandmother entered.

"Why don´t you come downstairs, dear?" she asked softly.

"Don´t want to."

"Of course you want to! We´re baking cookies with walnuts. I know you love them."

"Petunia loves them, too. If I come, she´ll go. I don´t want to spoil this for her. I´ve done enough..."

"It was not your fault. You didn´t know."

"She won´t forgive me."

"As won´t you."

"I´ll come to lunch."

-x-

Lily slipped out of the house right after the meal. Her friend was already waiting at the swings.

"For how long have you been sitting here?"

"Don´t know. What´s the time?"

"Past one."

"Four hours."

"You can´t be serious." A glance at his reddened fingers told that he was. Lily handed Severus her gloves.

"Have you eaten?"

"Breakfast." Severus looked miserable.

"Here," Lily produced a napkin with two walnut cookies from the pocket of her coat. "You have them both, I just had lunch."

The boy wolfed the first cookie down. "They´re delicious. Did you make them?"

"No, mum and Petunia did."

"You didn´t help?" he took a small bite of the second.

Lily shook her head.

"Wouldn´t they let you?"

"I didn´t want to spoil it for my sister. She feels uncomfortable when I´m around. She even hates the word magic."

Another bite from the cookie. "Just like my dad. I left my charms book on the table yesterday. He was so upset when he found it. He got a fit. Mum sent me outside and told me not to come back before nightfall." Severus put the last crumb of the cookie into his mouth. "Thanks for feeding me." He smiled.

"I´d have brought more, had I known..."

"Never mind, it was more than I had before." He got up from his swing. "You want me to push you?" he offered.

"Yes, please!"

Soon Lily was swinging higher than ever before. Her long red hair flew like a veil behind her. She laughed and enjoyed herself. "This is like flying!" she cried happily. "Do you like flying, Severus?"

He stopped pushing. "No."

"Why? I enjoyed our flying lessons."

He sighed. "You saw me. I´m not good on a broom."

Lily stopped her swing and turned round to face him. "You won´t end up as a Quidditch player but you were not bad. It´s because you usually excel in classes. You expect too much of yourself."

"Maybe."

"You´re exhausted. Look at you. Your hair is all wet. You´ll catch a cold!"

"I´m OK."

"We have to get you inside."

"No, really, I´m OK."

"You are shivering!"

"I can´t go home, it´s too early."

"It´s not too early to go to my house." She jumped from the swing and set out for home. "What are you waiting for? Come!"

Severus recognized an order. Slowly he trotted after Lily.

"What about your parents? What will they say, when you bring me along?"

"Welcome?"

"And your sister? She´ll feel uncomfortable with me."

"Petunia will stand an afternoon of discomfort to spare you a pneumonia. Just don´t talk about magic, when she´s in the room."

"OK. I shall remember not to."

-x-

It was neither Petunia nor her parents who answered the door. It was Lily´s grandmother.

"Oh, what a pity you didn´t come earlier. Your parents and Petunia went shopping to London. Your sister needs some school things. You´ve missed them by minutes." Granny looked sorry.

"Can we have some cocoa?" Lily asked. "We´re cold."

It was only now, that Granny realized that Lily was not alone.

"But of course, dear." She smiled. "Is this...?" She paused.

"This is Severus," Lily made the introductions. "The wizard, who lives nearby. Severus, this is my grandmother."

"Good day, Mrs Evans." Severus said politely and shook the offered hand. "Thank you for having me here."

"You´re welcome, child. Now, come in the two of you and sit down. I´ll make some cocoa. Or would you prefer tea, Severus?"

"Cocoa would be fine. Thank you."

They took off their coats and Severus gave Lily her gloves back. Lily took Severus to the living room and soon her grandmother brought a tray with three steaming mugs of cocoa and a plate with cookies. She sat in an armchair, while the two children sat on the sofa.

"So, you are one of Lily´s classmates, I understand?"

"I´m in her year, but we are in different houses. We only have potions together." Severus helped himself to a cookie.

"Oh, so you won´t see too much of each other at school."

"No," both children answered in unison. Granny glanced from one face to the other.

"There´s more about that, isn´t there?" she finally asked.

Severus took another sip of cocoa. Lily bit her lip.

"Lily? What is it, dear?"

"Our houses..." Lily hesitated and glanced at Severus as if looking for advice.

"If you can´t tell your grandmother, you can´t tell anybody." He said and took another bite of a cookie.

"Our houses have been rivals for centuries." Lily sighed. "We can´t even talk to each other without being told off by our house mates."

Granny smiled. "But this doesn´t keep you from being friends."

"No!" bot children reassured her. "It´s difficult to have a friend nearby and not be able to talk to him, though," Lily added.

"It certainly is," her grandmother said commiseratingly. "But friendship is not a matter of how often you see each other or talk to each other. In fact, I have a very good friend, whom I´ve never met in my life!"

"How is this possible?"

"She´s my penfriend. We have been writing to each other for nearly sixty years. It started when we both were at school and it never stopped."

"Really?"

"Really."

"But I can´t be penfriends with Severus!"

"Why not? You can write letters while you´re at school and meet when you´re at home."

"I want to talk to him at Hogwarts, too!"

"It wouldn´t work anyway," said Severus and reached for the last cookie. "Wizards send letters by owl. There would be an uproar, if owls flew directly from the Slytherin table to Gryffindor."

"So you have to find other means of communication." Granny stated matter-of-factly. "And now I´ll get us some sandwiches. You seem hungry, dear." She got up and took the empty cookie plate.

Severus blushed.

"No need to be embarrassed, there´s no shame in being hungry." The old woman said cheerfully and left for the kitchen.

-x-

When she came back with a large platter of sandwiches twenty minutes later, Lily and Severus had started to work out a sign language. Scratching one´s left ear was to mean "Are you OK?" to say "yes" you had to scratch your left ear, too.

They had some sandwiches and continued developing signs. Soon all three were rather giggly.

-x-

Mr and Mrs Evans returned from London with their elder daughter some hours later to find their daughter and her grandmother laughing as young Severus said very solemnly "No, seriously, we can´t use wand movements. We don´t want to curse anybody by accident."

"Just imagine," Granny gasped between two fits of laughter, "You want to exchange remarks on the quality of your dessert and end up giving somebody an extra nose!"

Severus smiled. "Are you sure, you aren´t a witch, Mrs Evans?"

"Oh, hello," Mr Evans cried from the door. "It seems, we have a visitor, and an amusing one, I guess."

Severus rose to his feet and went to greet the Evans family. Petunia retreated to her room rather than shake his hand.

As it was already growing dark outside, Severus left shortly afterwards.

-x-

Lily went to the park every day for the rest of the Christmas break. She spent happy hours there, discussing magic with Severus and refining their sign language. They even started to practice magic.

"I see no reason, " Lily said, "why they´d forbid practicing wand movements with a pencil."

Severus gave it a thought. "You are right. We are not doing magic. We are waving a pencil."

They looked for a quiet place to practice. "We don´t want our discussions about magic overheard." Lily said. Severus agreed.

They found a spot near the wall, which separated the park from the street.

Lily tried a complicated movement, she had found in her charms book. Severus was to be her tutor as his mother had taught him this particular spell more than a year ago. He explained, what she did wrong and showed her how it had to be done. They were so absorbed in their work, that neither of them noticed that they were observed.

"Are you bewitching him, little one?" an old man asked. The two children started. "You won´t need a wand," the old man continued kindly. "Those startling green eyes of yours will do the trick." He smiled at them and strolled towards the duck pond.

Lily looked after him, bewildered. "What would I want to bewitch you for?"

Severus shrugged. "Don´t know. Show me that last flick again."