Thank you, thank you for your reviews! They made me really happy :D So therefore: a new chapter!

Someone said that the last chapter was very filthy:true. This one will be much the same, but! Also with a lot of feelings there and stress and panic...dun dun dun

A lot of love

He came up to my rooms frequently after that. We would discuss books, current events, the weather, everything. Quite often he would read to me in my bed. I had never asked him for it but I knew he was aware of the fact that his voice turned me on greatly. Sometimes he would toss the book away and push me down, kissing me desperately. At other times he had barely made it through the door before I attacked his mouth with mine. Books completely forgotten.

I even dared to touch him when we were outside, under the trees. Though I never went any further than just kisses. And his kisses..

I could never get enough of them. They could be sweet and gentle, sometimes harsh and demanding, all consuming. But they always felt more important than the air that I needed to breathe.

And it was dangerous, so, so dangerous. If we were caught there would be absolutely no explaining. Getting caught reading together would be hard but I was sure I could make up an excuse for that, but being found with his mouth on mine as I lay back in the grass...

The mere thought gave me shudders and made me squirmish sometimes when he would gently push me down onto the warm grass outside of the stables, kissing me deeply. But all my concerns evaporated as his mouth found mine and I could only wrap my arms around his shoulders, allowing him to ravish my mouth completely.

One time, his hands slid over my shoulders before moving over my chest. I tried to shift away, not wanting him to venture any further. But he grinned against my mouth and slid his hand down further, trailing over my trousers. I broke our kiss and tried to push him away.

"Christophe, don't-." I saw him grin devilishly.

"Come on." He whispered, grinning down at me. "Enjoy life a leetle." His grin widened as he slowly slid his fingers over my trousers, feeling me erection underneath. I blushed deeply, still often ashamed about being aroused.

"I can feel you want to." He breathed out, before kissing me again. I moaned loudly against his mouth as he trailed his fingers over me teasingly, my hips bucking up on their own accord. It was slow and sweet and careful. He seemed to want to drive me crazy with soft touches and sweet kisses. I trembled and shuddered in a floating feeling of ecstasy and I couldn't handle the teasing any longer. I reached down, gripping my belt with shaking fingers and I tried to undo it, I wanted to feel his hands on me so badly. His mouth formed into a victorious grin against my lips.

His hand joined mine to help me, but suddenly he froze and moved away from me. He redid my belt and moved down my body, kneeling at me feet.

"What?" I whispered, still dazed as I could nearly feel his hands down my trousers. But he took one of my boots in his hands and grabbed a cloth from his pocket, wiping my shoe with it. Then I knew why he was doing what he did: footsteps.

Quickly, I grabbed the book I had brought with me and pretended to read. I bent one of my knees to hide the fact that I was still hard in my trousers.

So when Wendy and Stan came to join us all they saw was a wealthy person getting his shoes polished while reading a book.

"Good morning." I said lazily, looking up at them. Stan ignored Christophe's presence completely, not bothering about something as insignificant as a mere servant. And for the first time I was aware of how they saw him: as a being only worthy to serve the upper class. And nothing more. A being best off when it was being led and guided by someone intelligent from a higher class. I realized with a sickening feeling in my stomach that until recent I had seen him in the exact same way.

"Good morning." Wendy replied, cheerfully. Stan just nodded at me and smiled slightly. I knew why: he always figured that Wendy and I were too close and that I was a much better match for her. But I couldn't be bothered with Stan's jealousy at the moment, I was much more distracted by the way Christophe was pretending to polish my shoes. The way he slowly slid his fingers over my ankles was certainly not a part of polishing shoes. Luckily Wendy continued talking.

"We just got back from Bebe's and she's having a party in a week. Of course, you are invited too and we figured we wanted to ask you right away." Stan's silence made it clear that that had been primarily Wendy's idea, though.

"Sounds splendid." I replied. "I'll be there." I didn't know whether I had to kick Christophe away or just fall back and moan out loudly. Wendy and Stan be damned. His fingers on my ankle, so soft and teasingly both tickled and aroused me and I realized I was still hypersensitive from our make out session from earlier.

"You'd have to bring a date, though." Stan said suddenly. "But you can't ask Wendy, I already asked Wendy." He looked a mixture of relieved and angry at that. As if I wanted to steal his date from him.

"That's quite all right. You two make a pretty couple." Wendy frowned, Stan smiled radiantly. "And I'm sure I can find myself another good woman to take along." But I didn't want to take another woman along, I wanted Christophe there. To laugh with him and joke. But I couldn't, there was just no way that I could.

"We'll leave you to your book, then." Stan said, tugging Wendy along with him. He could always be such a little child when it came to Wendy and me, always seeing me as competition when we were with just the three of us. But I really, really couldn't be bothered by that right now and just said goodbye to them as they walked away.

I dared to look down as they disappeared behind a line of trees. Christophe grinned up at me.

"You evil man." I whispered. He just grinned at me and slid his hands over my calves and higher. And all I could do as I saw the promising look on his face was part my legs willingly.

"Ah, but you enjoy eet." He grinned and he crawled over me, pressing his mouth to mine in a heated kiss. "Een fact, you enjoy eet so much..." Suddenly he reached down into my trousers, gripping me harshly. I whimpered and closed my eyes.

"Zat you are still 'ard."

"No, I'm not." I contradicted, already panting softly as I felt his warm fingers on my length. "I'm- I'm aroused again not still." I had to keep my dignity in some way. My initial defiance about getting touched outside the safety of my rooms was already bad enough. I had always had certain rules and boundaries, about how to behave and what to like and what not to like. And this was a very strong one of mine: no nudity in public. What if someone saw you?!

But by touching me so sweetly, and making it clear that he couldn't give two fucks about my hesitation he somehow managed to take away that boundary. Making me enjoy the moment, only thinking about him and us and the wonderful feelings that we were both feeling.

And it didn't take long, before he took away all my old boundaries.

A few days after our make out session it the woods, I found myself undressed in my rooms. He seemed to have anticipated that for that particular thing to happen again I'd have to be somewhere where I felt very comfortable. He had waited for me to return from a visit to Rebecca, and he had kissed me sweetly.

Instead of just pushing down my trousers and pleasuring me he seemed to take his time. Slowly taking off my shirt as he kissed my neck and shoulders. Letting it drop lightly on the floor before moving his hands lovingly over my back and chest. I could feel his appreciation in his touches. His appreciation for my trust in him and also, his appreciation for my body. I helped him get rid of the rest of my clothes, allowing him to touch me everywhere and look at every part of me. And I loved it.

I had always been rather sensitive and insecure about my body but his reaction to seeing me naked was highly flattering and endearing and I simply couldn't get enough of it.

And the first time I ever saw him naked was something I am not likely to forget soon. We looked nothing alike naked. He was broad-shouldered, tanned and muscled. His chest and lower abdomen quite hairy whereas mine had nearly no hair. I was slender and pale but he seemed to love that. His hands were always everywhere when we were together. And mine were pretty much everywhere too.

Always after a lot of touching and kissing we would come into each other's mouth or hand. It had taken me great courage to finally kiss him between his legs. I was uncertain what I was being nervous about: that I would be bad? That I wouldn't like it? I didn't know. But I was very nervous nonetheless. Christophe guided me through the first bits, with a soft voice he told me how I should try to lick just the tip, move down more-. But his whispers ended in a groan as I moved down to take him in further. He didn't last very long.

XXX

One afternoon, after a long day of talking and reading we had ended up on my bed once more, naked and grinding together. He lay on top of me and he ground down between my legs, that I had wrapped around his waist. We did a lot of this grinding before getting each other off. This time he was persistent however and he grabbed my hips and kept moving against me, moaning in my ear.

"I want..." He started, but he didn't finish his sentence.

"What, what is it you want?" I said, eager to give him all that he wanted. He just laughed breathlessly.

"Eesn't zat obvious?" I felt blood rush to my face.

"No, not exactly." He looked at me with a very confused look on his face. "I don't even know what it is that men do." I said with a furious blush on my face. He looked at me as if in pity before moving off of me.

"Come here." His voice was surprisingly gentle as he lay down on his side and petted the space next to him. Curious, I turned onto my side, facing him.

"No, ze other way around." I turned and he pulled me towards him and kissed my neck. I was still curious as to what was going on and I knew he noticed.

"You really don't know? What men do?"

"I, well... no. I've heard some things but I don't think they are correct." I felt him smile against my neck.

"I can show you some of eet. One of my favorite things and something zat I think you will like very much." He reached over me to grab his trousers. He pulled out a jar of petroleum jelly. I looked in wonder as he opened it and covered two of his fingers in the substance.

"Bent your knees." He breathed in my neck, his voice heavy in arousal. I did as he told me and I felt his hand return to my body, his fingers slick with the vaseline.

"Men, some men, zey penetrate ze other." I felt heat pour in my face.

"But how? Where?" I whispered softly.

He didn't answer. Instead he trailed his slicked-up fingers down my back, over my ass. Before stroking me over my opening. I swallowed as it dawned on me.

"There?" I breathed in question.

"Yes." He whispered back.

"But, but that must be-." Hurtful, painful, weird, disgusting.

"Eet can be." He murmured in my ear as he continued to stroke me. "But when eet ees done properly eet doesn't hurt. When you are properly prepared eet feels amazing."

And he stroke me some more, sliding steadily more inside. I let out a muffled cry as he slid his fingers over me, my eyes closing. Already I felt what he meant, his fingers were warm and sent little shivers up and down my spine. Already, it felt amazing. But then he slid one of his fingers inside of me, completely throwing me off guard. I choked out a sound but didn't stop him as he withdrew his finger and then pushed it back in, picking up a very slow rhythm.

"Ah, like, like that." I said, trying to sound eloquent but my quivering voice not permitting me to do so.

"Yes, like zat." He echoed. He pushed into me harder and slightly faster. I lay like a puddle of pure pleasure in his arms, barely able to move and moaning constantly.

"Feels good, doesn't eet?" He whispered in my ear.

"Hm hm." I replied, not able to say much more.

"It can feel a lot better, even." He whispered.

"Wh-What?" I managed but then he pressed in deep, crooking his finger and hitting something.

"UGHN!" I groaned out as a hot jolt of pleasure shot through me. He thrust into me again, hitting that spot inside me again. I groaned again.

"Feels even better, doesn't eet?" He murmured cheekily in my ear. I couldn't reply, instead I gripped him harder. He seemed to understand and pushed in harder and I just lay against his chest, completely out of breath and devastated to be able to feel this much pleasure. He withdrew and pressed a second finger inside of me and I moaned loudly, pressing back against his fingers. It felt amazing, unlike anything I had ever felt before. The stretch and slight burn wonderful, the brushing against that spot making my mind reel in overwhelming ecstasy.

He growled in my ear as I pushed back, riding his fingers. His erection was pressing against my ass and I pushed back against it, feeling his breath hitch against my neck.

"Christophe." I chocked out. "Christophe, please." I was desperate to feel him, feel all of him. To know that this was what men did and that this already felt so good made my mind go insane with the thought of how it would feel if I permitted him to do that to me.

But he just kissed my neck harder, more desperately and whispered in my ear.

"No, not yet. You only just found out about eet. You can not ask zis of me."

"Yes, yes I can." I practically sobbed back, pushing back harder, curving my spine and forcing our bodies even more together.

"Please, take me." I whispered. Horrified to beg, desperate to get what I want. He groaned in my ear, rutting back against my ass.

"No, I can't do zat. You're a man of class." He hissed, even as he ground against my ass, his fingers sliding in faster and deeper.

"You don't want a lower class man defiling you like zat." His breath so hot on my skin, his sweaty chest against my back. I wanted to reply but the pleasure was sweeping over me, making me speechless, safe for my loud moans. My legs jerked and I bit the pillow under me to prevent myself from shouting as I came onto the sheets of my bed. I was completely spent but I turned over nonetheless, wanting to pleasure him and give him all he wanted.

"You really want to do that to me?" I whispered against his lips as I kissed him. Still somewhat shocked and highly flattered that a man could want me so desperately and so completely. He made me feel so desired and special. But I could hardly wait for his reply, kissing him harder and my hand finding his erection easily.

He groaned as I wrapped my hand around him. "I- yes. But not yet-." He was rapidly losing it, already so close from our grinding. "I thought you 'ad already-. I don't want to be ze first zat-." He could barely speak as I moved faster and he came with a groan, not finishing his sentence.

"But I do." I whispered softly, as he opened his eyes to look at me. "I want you to be my first, I love you so, so much." He seemed completely baffled at that confession.

"I love you too, mon cher." He finally said. I smiled widely and he smiled back. His love for me clear in his eyes.

For a moment, I was in peaceful bliss, ignoring the fact that love or not we could not be together. And I knew, deep down, that we were living on borrowed time.

TBC...