Starting Over
I managed to hold my tears in while Lucius took me home. He gave me an apologetic look. Alfred saw me when I came in and said nothing. My face was hot, no doubt it was red. I kept up the calm charade even when I was safe inside my bedroom, dressing for bed. The last thing I wanted was to burst into tears…not just to worry Alfred but my parents too. I wanted my parents there more than anything.
More importantly, I wanted to go home, even though I knew there was nothing left for me to go back to.
Trying to put on a smile, I called home; at least it was eight in the morning there and I wouldn't wake them up. After everything that had happened, they needed very bit of sleep they could get. Mama's voice was on the other end. "Grace! It must be eleven at night over there, what's going on?" At this, I lost it and began crying. "What's the matter, sweetie?" Mama asked gently.
"Bruce…I think he cheated on me…" I swallowed my tears and took a deep breath.
Bruce entered the penthouse some time later. Fortunately, Grace wasn't in sight. He didn't know how he could face her after that scenario.
Unfortunately, Alfred was waiting for him, clearly disappointed. "How was your evening out, sir?" Alfred asked, taking Bruce's jacket.
"I skipped out on dinner with Grace and Lucius to find out what Gordon wanted. When I got back, I was about to chalk up my absence to an emergency at Wayne Tower when I realized that people would wonder why Lucius didn't go with me. Everyone thinks I don't care about Wayne Enterprises and Lucius handles the business end of things. Hell, I even fell asleep at the transfer meeting this morning. So, I had a couple of drinks and kisses with a couple of girls at the hotel bar. I just wanted some rumors to spread…I never thought Lucius and Grace would come right into the hotel right after dinner."
Alfred nodded, deep in thought. "Master Wayne, maybe you should explain to her about the Batman."
"No, Alfred." Bruce barked. "The less people who know about Batman, the safer everyone is."
"Your mother and father married when Gotham General was being built. Your father put in extra hours to help as many lives as he could. Your mother supported him and even did what she could to help. But your father eventually got used to the routine, spending more time at the hospital than with his bride. When he forgot their first anniversary, your mother was angry and upset. She had been feeling neglected and abandoned for long enough. She even told your father to choose between her and the hospital. That's when your father realized that he needed to repair things. So he did. And in the end, their marriage became stronger than ever."
"Alfred, you're going somewhere with this. What's your point?" Bruce asked, feeling chided.
I know how important the Batman is to you, sir. But as I told you the day Ms. Grace came home, you're a married man now and don't you owe a responsibility to your wife? The Batman doesn't affect just your life and mine anymore. It affects Grace's now and your decision to deceive her really hurt her feelings."
Bruce decided what to do. "Hope she's still awake. I'm going to apologize. But I'm not going to tell her anything about Batman and I trust you to not either."
"Of course not. You will tell her that when you're ready." A faint smile crossed Alfred's face.
I wiped my face with the Kleenex I had brought from the bathroom. There was a knock on the door.
"Grace, it's Bruce. I want to apologize. May I please come in?" His voice came on the other side of the door. He sounded truly sorry, like he really wanted to make amends. But I was too angry to listen to him.
"Leave me alone!" I yelled at the door.
Bruce knew to give her space. He didn't blame her for being angry. But unsure of what to do, he stood there. He couldn't help but overhear her side of the conversation.
"Nothing, it was just Bruce. He wanted to apologize but I'm just so angry…no, don't say anything to him. What good would that do? I want to go home, Mama. Please, let me go home. I belong there with you and Papa. Not here where my husband publically flirts with others. I don't care if there's a war going on."
No, she couldn't go home. Yet what had he done to make her feel welcomed? She was just as lonely as he was.
Nothing. He realized sadly.
And he only had himself to blame.
I didn't speak to Bruce for nearly three days. I was that angry at him. How could he do that…? Why couldn't he have done what most other cheating spouses have done and kept it a secret? There had to be a reason for it…my mind tried reasoning and calming me down. Maybe they were old friends of his and he got together with them for a drink and things got out of control…? But he didn't have to embarrass me like that and in public too.
The anger consumed me and I took it out as I knew best; through playing songs on my violin. Faust with the opera company was surely keeping me busy, tons of opportunity for me to let my feelings out without saying anything. Music allowed me get my feelings out into the open without saying anything. Because I didn't think that I could say anything without bursting into tears or yelling.
The last thing I wanted to do was get into a fight with Bruce.
I didn't think he was worth arguing with.
A few afternoons after what happened, I decided to practice a new song on my violin. I Dreamed a Dream from the musical Les Misérables. It was what I was feeling at that moment, the sad and wistful disappointment of a better life that got ripped away. How I once hoped for something better as a young and naïve teenager before the war broke out…
Bruce stood outside Grace's room, the first time since what happened that he did. He knew Grace well enough to know that she needed to cool down first before he attempted to make amends. She was playing a new song. He had heard it once before…his mother loved Les Mis and played music from it all the time on an antique phonograph player with the old fashioned scalloped horn. What was that song…? I Dreamed A Dream. That's what it was. His parents took him to see the musical once…a long time ago…
Grace was crying. Was it because of the music? Or because of what happened? Not that he blamed her. He wanted to apologize; he wanted to apologize so badly. But Grace was angry, she was really angry. Again, she had every reason to be upset.
So he waited. He stood there, finally having the courage to wait for however long it took until Grace saw him.
I knew he was there long before I finished the song. But still I made him wait, after I finished the song. Because I was crying and didn't want him to see me upset, I slowly put my violin back in its case. I wanted time to calm down and compose myself. "Bruce? You can come in." I looked up when I was done. Bruce stepped into the room, still looking at me.
"Grace, I…I want to say that I'm sorry for what happened a few days ago…I'm really sorry. I know there's no real way I can make up for this."
Bruce wasn't one to go into a long flowery speech. He usually kept things short and to the point. "Do you want to explain to me what happened?"
"I went to Wayne Tower and learned that the situation resolved itself. I came right back and I passed Julia and Frances. I had once dated them, not together obviously. We started chatting and they insisted I join them for a drink. I refused, saying that I was busy but they more or less dragged me back there. And well…" Bruce shrugged his shoulders. "…nothing else happened. I promise. But I should've known better."
I sighed. Bruce's story did make sense. But the damage had been done. "Bruce, I forgive you…but you're going to have to do a lot to regain my trust after what happened. I was really embarrassed when Lucius and I saw you there."
Bruce nodded. "I understand. So…can we start over?"
"Let's then. How should we start?"
Bruce hadn't thought that far ahead. He was convinced that she would yell at him to leave. "Well, uh," he saw her violin. Music. It was her passion. The children's home. "Did you I give you the phone number for Fr. Felix? Because I really think that's a good idea, about a music class."
"Yeah, we discussed it. He liked it and hopefully I'll start teaching sometime next week." Grace slowly closed up her violin case and put it on the chair.
"So what will you teach, do you know yet?" Bruce asked.
"Well, I was thinking violin. Actually, I was thinking about talking to other members of the Opera Company and seeing if they want to volunteer to give lessons with me at the children's home in their spare time."
"Again, if you need anything for the lessons, don't hesitate to ask." Bruce said when his eye caught the sheet music on the bed. "You like Les Mis too?"
"A touring production came through Corte Maltese one year. My parents took me to see it, fell in love with the music immediately. You've seen it?"
"My parents took me to see it when I was a kid. It was my mom's favorite." Bruce said, remembering the old fashioned phonograph player playing.
"What do you think of it?" Grace asked as she began gathering up her sheet music.
Bruce tensed up. This was a touchy subject. Because it made him remember a time when he had been happy. Truly happy and carefree. Before he had given his life…before Batman had existed. "I was a kid so most of it flew right over my head. You know I don't have a real good understanding of music. But…after listening to you play…I think I want to listen to it again."
"You miss your parents very much?" Grace stated more than asked. "Sorry, it was just the look on your face."
"No, it's ok." He did mention to her a long time ago that his parents died when he was a kid.
"Excuse me, Master Bruce and Ms. Grace." Alfred knocked on the door post. Bruce and Grace looked at him. "But I wanted to give you a reminder about meeting Mr. Adamson at Wayne Manor in an hour."
Oh that's right, the remodeling. "Thank you Alfred." Grace looked at Bruce, silently excusing him. But he wanted to make up for it, to actually show that he was trying to make things better. "Actually, do you want to come with us, Grace?" Bruce asked. She looked at him in surprise. "I want to see what you think and get your advice."
"I'd love to." Grace smiled.
"Great." Bruce shared a secret smile with Alfred.
Within an hour, Bruce, Alfred and I were at the construction site, following the architect around. The West Wing had been mostly finished, built of tall creamy stone. It looked like one of the great manor homes in England.
"You're rebuilding it as it was?" I asked.
"Brick for brick, Ms. Montello. That's what he ordered." Mr. Adamson said. He reminded me of a mouse, shy and quick moving with dark brown hair, thick glasses and a thin moustache. It wouldn't have surprised me to have seen a tiny tail swish after him.
It was rather nice, touring the site. I had always wondered where Bruce had grown up. The few stories he had told me about his family were a relatively happy ones. I smiled, imaging Bruce as a child getting into mischief with Rachel, stealing cookies from the kitchen cookie jar, playing on the grounds…
"What are you smiling about, Ms. Grace?" Alfred asked me. Bruce and Mr. Adamson were ahead of us and couldn't hear us talking.
"Oh, just imagining what Bruce would've been like as a little boy."
"Did he tell you much?" Alfred asked, interested.
"Not much, more little things. Like how he and Rachel used to sneak cookies from the cookie jar and sliding down the banister."
"I remember those." Alfred smiled, looking fondly at Bruce. I recognized that look, it was the look my father used to give to me when he saw me playing.
"You care about him very much, Alfred?"
"I was there when he was born. There was a very nasty rainstorm that night and the road to Gotham had been submerged. It was too dangerous to drive to Gotham General. So Master Thomas and Mrs. Dawes helped Ms. Martha deliver Master Bruce in the Regency Room." Alfred smiled. "I don't believe Master Bruce's parents stopped smiling for three days. Have you thought about what would it be like to have a family, Ms. Grace?"
A pebble got into my shoe, pressing against my toe. "I did once, Alfred." I said, stopping in order to take off my shoe to get the pebble out. "When I was younger, I wanted to have a big family. I was an only child like Bruce, so that could explain why. But seeing all that loss during the war…I'm not sure anymore." Alfred gave me his arm to hold for balance onto while I put the shoe back on. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Alfred wisely said no more. The war was still a touchy subject. "Master Thomas promised Ms. Martha when they married that they would have a houseful of children. Life had other plans, unfortunately."
I nodded, the subject was as touchy for Alfred as it was for Bruce. "What were his parents like?"
"Kind, generous, loving parents, they were very good people. They were very proud of Master Bruce." Alfred smiled, lost in happier memories. "He didn't speak much about them, I gather?"
"No, not really. I did ask him about them one time, but he said they were dead and I got the sense it wasn't a topic he wanted to talk about. So I let the matter drop."
"Do you…do you think Bruce's parents would've approved of me?" I asked.
"They would've loved you." Alfred said.
Once the tour ended, we headed back to the car. Bruce answered a phone call while Alfred turned on the car. I was outside, enjoying the nice view when I felt something…strange…like somebody was watching me. It was in a group of trees not too far from the car. What was it? I could just make out a figure in the darkness.
A tall and lanky figure. Should I say something?
"Grace? Grace? Can you hear me?" Bruce's hand waved in front of my face. "Hello?"
"Huh, what, sorry Bruce. What was that?"
"I was asking if you enjoyed the work that was being done on the house?"
I took another glance. The figure was gone. But the feeling lingered. "Oh, yes." I decided not to worry him. "It's going to be beautiful when it's finished." It was probably your imagination, Grace. I thought as Bruce and I walked back to the car.
Someone was watching Grace. Bruce thought as they drove away from the family estate. She didn't say anything, but he saw it and was pretty sure she did as well. Grace wasn't somebody who liked it when others were worried.
Just like him…he thought, putting his arm around Grace's shoulder. He would come back later tonight to investigate…
A/N: Well?
