Yey chapter 4! Thank you to all you people who reviewed it means a lot that you like my writing. Anyway hope you like this chapter.
I am not!
"Hello?" called a familiar voice, "Septimus? Marcia? Answer the bloody door!"
"Um, I'll get that" said Septimus hurriedly leaving the room as Marcia desperately started to practice speaking without a lisp. Septimus hurried down the stairs to the door and threw it open.
"Hey dad" Septimus sighed
"Did you talk to Marcia about me borrowing the books?" asked Silas
Something in his voice told Septimus that he had hoped he hadn't, Silas liked annoying Marcia.
"Um, no I haven't" Septimus said
"Right then, I'd better tell her now" smirked Silas
"She's not here" said Septimus, a little too quickly
"Oh, alright. I'll just take them"
As they began to ascend the stairs to the library they heard a crash from downstairs.
"What was that?" exclaimed Silas, startled
"I... um... well..." Septimus began, but he knew it was no use
"I thought you said Marcia wasn't here", said Silas accusingly
"Yeah... um... about that"
"Blwoodvy twable" cried Marcia
"Hmmm," said Silas, and set off towards the kitchen before Septimus had a chance to stop him.
Silas entered the kitchen to find Marcia nursing her foot and cursing under her breath.
"Well" said Septimus lamely, "she's back"
"Hello" said Marcia, looking slightly embarrassed, "Hey I can talk again!"
"You never seemed to have any problem talking before", grumbled Silas, still unaware of Marcia's temporary speech impediment.
"I know only recent events... well..." instead of explaining it to Silas she simply stuck out her tongue
"Oh my god Marcia, how drunk were you when you got that done!" exclaimed Silas
"Last night: Got drunk, got tongue pierced, collapsed on floor" Marcia replied, deciding to leave out the part about the random naked people and the man that claimed to have slept with her.
"You are still unbelievably irresponsible! I would have thought at some point you would grow up and act your age" retorted Silas, "Actually makes sense I suppose, why bother to break the habit of a life time"
"No no, it gets better!" said Marcia happily, "Do you remember Amy LeGrende?"
"No", snorted Silas
"Well we met at a party and..." Marcia began
"Got drunk" Silas interjected
"Yes but that's beside the point, anyway as I was saying before you rudely interrupted" she glared at him as she said it, "Amy I have decided that as we are getting older..."
"You'll get married if you haven't found a husband by the time you're 50?" Silas asked
"No, I'm not a lesbian" said Marcia and then continued, "As we are getting older we have decided that when we become menopausal..."
Silas snorted
"We will see if we can grow beards!" finished Marcia
"Marcia" said Silas, "When do you draw the line? Is there even a line?"
"Don't be ridiculous Marcia", stated Septimus "You're a woman can't grow a beard. Can you?"
"I can do anything I want to!" said Marcia outraged, "And when I do become menopausal I won't take hormone replacement and I will grow a beard! So there!"
"Marcia why do you want a beard anyway?" asked Silas
"I don't" said Marcia, "Nasty things to get food stuck in"
"Then why are you going to grow one?" questioned Silas
"Just to prove that I can" said Marcia
"Beards and women, women and beards. It's not really right" said Septimus
"Yeah", agreed Silas "its like if a women wanted to be..."
"If a woman wanted to be what?" Marcia asked accusingly
"Um... King?" said Silas lamely
"No seriously, what were you going to say?" Said Marcia, anger evident in her voice
"I've got one!" chimed in Septimus, "I know what a woman can't be"
"What?!" Silas and Marcia asked in unison
"A penis model!" said Septimus
"Good point" said Marcia
Silas put his head in his hands, "Look. A few years with you and you've stolen his innocent mind!"
"No she hasn't" said Septimus loyally, "Marcia had some guests round and I asked one what his job was and he told me that..."
"Enough" interrupted Silas, "Maybe the local schools should hire Marcia to give lessons in Sex Education"
"I am not a whore" said Marcia crossly
"Yes you are" said Silas
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"I am so not"
"Yes sorry you aren't!" said Silas angrily, "I forget that some of these men pay you!"
"I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!" yelled Marcia
"Um... can I say something?" asked Septimus
"NO!" shouted Silas and Marcia
Just then a knock at the door interrupted their argument.
Thx for reading! I know that it's a very short chapter and I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while but the summer hols are here soon! YAY! Then I should be able to write much longer chapters and update more regularly! Also I would like to thank Friends for the line about what a woman can do thing, I just felt the need to add it in. So please read and review!
Bella
