Bad Romance, Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange
The Lady Gaga song could've been written word for word for them, so had to write the fan fic to match. We hope your spooky little dark heart enjoys!
Chapter 4, I want your drama

"So you didn't conceive a baby with your dark lord when you escaped from Azkaban in late 1997," Mr. Rat asked, giving her a doubtful look.

Bellatrix leaned forward in her chair toward the man, eyes narrowing once more and growing hard and dangerous. Anyone who knew anything about her would've been soiling themselves at that look, but the man's pants still appeared unfortunately fresh. "Look, Rat. I am tired of playing whatever stupid game you've invented. Why don't you tell me just what the hell it is that you want, because otherwise I'm finished here."

"I assure you, Mrs. Lestrange, this is no game. There is a young woman claiming to be your daughter and causing quite a bit of trouble in the wizarding world because she's angry that her father, Lord Voldemort, was killed. Let us say she has daddy issues."

Bellatrix was unable to keep her eyes from widening in shock at that...But, no the rat couldn't be serious! "If I had a baby, I think I'd know it," she spat sarcastically. "A medical exam should prove as much. You're all bloody stupid. And with the dark lord! That's so disrespectful and sick," she concluded, not bothering to hide her disgust with the rat faced Ministry official before her. She'd still love to kill them all. Weak, incompetent, brainless and now they'd apparently added sick to their list of shortcomings. They didn't deserve power. They certainly didn't deserve to have it over her and Rod, both obviously superior wizards to any of their ilk on all levels.

"Interesting," Mr. Rat said thoughtfully, his gaze going to the crystal panel on the right wall. Bellatrix's eyes followed his to see the crystal had turned a sickly green.

"Matches my mood," she drawled dryly and Mr. Rat actually chuckled and nodded.

"As it should, Mrs. Lestrange. It's doing what it's supposed to do. Now just a few more questions if you will. What if he'd wanted to have this baby for an heir. Wouldn't you have been perfect for such an honor as that?"

"He needed no heir! He was immortal as he saw it, so he needed no successor when he wasn't planning to die."

Bellatrix wondered if carrying the Dark Lord's baby had he required it would've felt like an honor and the thought caused her to shudder. No. She was married to Rod and did not want any children for any reason! Carrying a baby put strain and limitations on the body that she had no interest in. It weakened one as did succoring brats. Leave all that to her sister.

Not only that, though, having The Dark Lord on a pedestal above them where he belonged and deserved to be was one thing. Having his hands on her was another entirely. Before Mr. Rat's disturbing questions such disrespectful sacrilege had never occurred to her. But now that the mental damage had been done, she was lost in the horror of the thought. His face, those serpentine features and that cold voice, he was a god but there was no passion there. Nore should there be! She envisioned Rod's mouth on hers hot and demanding as her legs wrapped around him and his hand tangled in her hair, tugging her head back hard enough to cause her to gasp in pleasure. Rod, though, a wizard who could match her twisted desires and keep up with her effortlessly. And no offense to their former lord, of course, but bloody hot too!

"Exactly what are you thinking, Mrs. Lestrange," Mr. Rat asked calmly.

"About shagging my husband bloody, if you must know, which I'd be doing right now were I not here playing whatever stupid game this is with you!" She hoped the admission made Rat uncomfortable, but it likely only made his stupid day to imagine such passion as he surely had none of his own.