Gamer4 in. Well, three weeks on, it is finally time to get back to updating this story! I mean, come on, only three chapters left, I have no right to not see this one through. Leaping right in!

Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, yes, I was thinking of that movie, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, when I wrote this chapter's title. Not that I've actually ever seen it... Nah, I was too busy watching The Princess Bride. As this chapter should make pretty evident.

Chapter III

The Girl with the Dragon Necklace

As the curtain fell again, Mario turned his eyes on Lucina and Robin, who were quietly whispering at each other off to the side. "Hey, look alive!" he muttered quickly. "You guys are up next!"

"Right on," Lucina nodded, turning her attention towards him. "We were just discussing a last-minute revision to the script."

"Are you kidding? The Master Hand changed it up again?!" Mario muttered back- they'd experienced enough changes in the weeks proceeding the event.

"No, this is our own little enhancement," Robin shook her head, casually glancing down to confirm that she was, indeed, a 'her.' "Lucina's idea, and I agreed."

"What exactly are you changing?" Mario asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just a few words here and there," Lucina shrugged. "No time to talk, we need to get into position!"

XXXX

The curtain rose once more, entering the third act. The sounds of generic, stereotypical children's cartoons came from one side of the stage- the same side of the stage where Lucina sat, covered in a large amount of blankets and sitting on a chair, staring off to the side, presumably at the 'television.' A second later, Meta Knight came hobbling out from the other side, dressed like a stereotypical old woman, with a dress, wig, and overlarge glasses. "Lucina!" he called out in a shrill voice that had everyone either sniggering or grimacing as the pressed their hands against their ears. "You've got a visitor!"

"Who is it, mama?" Lucina asked in a strangely high voice, turning her attention towards the atrocity that was Meta Knight in drag.

"It's your Auntie Robin!" Meta Knight responded, ignoring the horrorstruck look on Lucina's face as he turned and called out, "Alright, she's ready!"

Cue Lucina face faulting as Robin emerged... as a male. "Wow," she muttered, slipping into her normal voice. "Didn't realize that my 'Aunt' was a man."

"What?" Robin asked, glancing down. "Ahhhhhhh... crud. Well, you see, Lucy, Auntie's had a lot of work done..."

A very awkward silence fell, until finally Robin cleared his throat and broke it. "So, Little Lucy, what do you know about your Daddy?"

"Momma always told me he went away to fight, but that he died..." Lucina returned to her awkward small-child voice, in tune with the script.

"Well, that is definitely true," Robin nodded his agreement. "I fought with him, too. A long, hard war between Ylisse and a bunch of monsters called the Risen. It was a... terrible experience, one that he didn't make it through, sad to say. But before he died, he told me this story, and passed on one last present to give his little girl, if I ever returned home. He died without ever laying eyes on you, but he was thinking of you right to the bitter end."

As he spoke, Robin reached into her pocket and produced a necklace- a fine chain at the end of which sat an intricately designed dragon made out of crystal. Lowering the necklace, Robin began to speak again.

"This necklace is an old family heirloom. Your father got it from his father, who got it from his father, who won it from some guy in Doluna after a very intense game of extreme poker. Your great grandfather passed it on to your grandad after the end of a war with Doluna- a war he won. He put it down to this necklace, right here, that he got home alive. As he lay on his deathbed at the ripe age of 97, he passed this necklace on to his son- a good luck charm that would ensure his son would survive.

"Unfortunately, your grandpa got involved in a war, too- against the dreaded nation of Daein. In the final battle of the war, your grandfather was in a platoon of five mercenaries against an entire army of Laguz. Nobody there expected to get out alive, and sure enough, they didn't. This necklace didn't save your grandfather that day- the only one who survived was an insignificant cook that managed to escape the carnage while the mercenaries drew the Laguz's attention. And when he arrived back home, the first thing that cook did was to find your father, and pass on this very necklace, given to him by your grandfather. It's beautiful, in a way, how your grandfather trusted this cook, who he'd never even met before, to deliver this necklace to his son, who he'd never even seen before...

"I hope that it's something you'll never have to experience," Robin continued, "but it's starting to seem like war is written into your family's blood, because as your father grew up, he enlisted in the army to fight against those enemies of all smashers everywhere- the Risen. He and I fought side-by-side in that war, and became very close. Again, something that I hope you'll never have to go through yourself, but when two people are in a situation like that, they start to form special relationships that they might not have in other situations. We were together all through that war, up until we were both captured by the Risen and kept in one of their prison camps. And that was where he told me all this. He loved this necklace, and was intent on seeing that it pass on to you. The way he saw it, it was yours, it was your birthright as a Mercer! And smeg if he was going to let them take it away from you, so he hid it in the one place he knew he could- his stomach!"

XXXX

"His stomach?" Mario blinked, turning to his script and flicking through it. "It wasn't supposed to be his stomach, was it?"

"No, it was supposed to be somewhere very different," Dark Pit commented, lowering his eyes. "But all said and done, I think this way is better."

XXXX

"Yup, his stomach!" Robin nodded. "Swallowed it up and managed to keep it there for five years! Eventually, he died... of a stomach infection... and the last thing he did was regurgitate this necklace, and pass it on to me. I swore I'd get it to you, if I ever got the chance, and hid this very large... not conducive to healthy digestion... necklace in the one place I knew I could manage it. Five years, it just sat there in my stomach, until I was finally rescued. And now, after all that, it's time to finally pass it on to its rightful owner- it's time to pass it on... to you."

Steadily, Robin and Lucina reached out to each other, and Robin dropped the necklace into Lucina's hand.

Abruptly, a strobe effect filled the auditorium, leaving everyone distracted as Robin and Meta Knight rushed off-stage, leaving Lucina to stand, tossing the blankets away from her, off the stage, revealing her ordinary clothes underneath. Finally, the light stabilized, and Kirby poked his head out from behind a curtain. "Ms. Mercer, are you ready for the fight?"

"Just about," Lucina nodded, drawing her sword and gazing at the light reflecting off of it.

"Sweet!" Kirby grinned, ducking off-stage again. A moment later, his voice echoed through the stadium. "EPIC SMASHER MELEES OF HISTORY! LUCINAAAAAAAAA MERCER VS... REYN WHEELER... BEGIN!"

As Lucina moved forward, the lights all faded to black.

XXXX

As Robin returned, Mario turned to stare at her. "The stomach?"

"Don't get on us about it," Robin shook his head.

"The freaking stomach?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"

"Better than what was in the script? At least that was somewhat feasible!"

"Ah, what do you expect from someone in Sierra?" Link shrugged.

"Not the time, Link, I'm straight-manning here!" Mario objected.

"It's not the time for that, either!" Robin hissed. "Lucina's up!"

XXXX

The lights faded back in, with Lucina running across the stage to where Pit sat at the wheel of a very obviously cardboard car. She climbed into the back and quickly ordered him to "Drive!" Pit nodded, and the two of them lifted the cardboard up and ran off-stage, Flinstone-style. No, I don't know how Pit managed it, being a ghost and all.

Just as they left, Link entered from the opposite end of the stage, with Zelda right behind him. "Shulk's not gonna like this... he really isn't..."

"What is it?" Zelda asked.

"Shulk's been betrayed!" Link exclaimed. "He payed that scum, Lucina Mercer, to throw a fight against his friend, and-"

"She went ahead and won anyways?" Zelda guessed.

"More than that," Link muttered. "She took all the money Shulk gave her and bet it all on herself. She leaked the news out that the fight was fixed against her, everyone bet on Reyn, and then, not only did she win and walk away with all that money..."

"She went above and beyond," came a new voice, drawing both Link and Zelda's attention to Shulk, entering the stage as well. His face was cast down and in shadow. "I've already been told, Link. I've already been told that Reyn is dead."

Link cringed. "Your... your orders, sir?"

"Find her," Shulk muttered, quietly but with more danger in his voice than if he'd been shouting. "Find her, and bring her to me. Dead or alive."

Link nodded earnestly, and ran off-stage with Zelda in tow. Shulk turned and walked off in the opposite direction. A moment later, Lucina and Pit appeared, Flintstoning it around the stage as they struck up a new conversation.

"So, Ms. Mercer," Pit began, "I'm guessing that you're on the run from someone in a very powerful spot, paying me so much to get you out in a hurry."

"Trust me, buddy, the less you know, the better," Lucina responded.

"I heard on the radio, about a fight between someone named Reyn Wheeler and Lucina Mercer," Pit noted. "Mercer... Mercer... that name sounds familiar..."

"Right in one," Lucina acknowledged. "Does that make a difference to you?"

"No, no, none at all," Pit shrugged. "Not everyday I get to drive a killer around."

Lucina's eyes widened in shock. "...Killer?"

"Didn't you hear?" Pit asked. "You must have beaten that Reyn up pretty bad- he just died of his injuries. It was on the radio."

Lucina blinked, and her lips moved minutely as if to form the words, "Sorry, Reyn." However, she quickly shook it off and returned with a hardened face. "And? What of it?"

"Will you tell me how it feels?" Pit asked, looking back at her in anticipation.

"How what feels?"

"To kill someone!"

Lucina blinked again. "You have a very strange taste if that's the first thing that comes to mind..."

"Well, I've never killed anyone," Pit shrugged. "Is it any wonder that I'm curious?"

Lucina stayed quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Alright, you want to know how it feels to kill someone?"

"Yup!"

"Well, there's a problem with that," Lucina explained. "I didn't know he'd died until you told me about it. Now that I know, you want to know how I feel?" Pit shrugged, and Lucina continued. "I don't feel bad at all. It's on him- if he'd fought a little harder, he'd still be alive." It was hard to tell whether the discomfort on her face was from the actress Lucina, or the character Lucina.

Finally, she looked out of the window and said, "Alright, that's good, stop here. This is where I'm meeting him."

She climbed out from behind the cardboard car, and went to Pit's window, where she produced a small sack of coins. "Alright, remember, if anyone asks you if you drove a Lucina Mercer around tonight, you say..."

"Lucina who?" Pit smiled.

"There you go," Lucina nodded, dropping the pouch towards Pit's hand. Pit stared as it fell right through, performed the ghost equivalent of blushing, and quickly dashed off-stage. Lucina sighed and slid both the cardboard car setup and the coins off-stage as well. As she turned back towards the main stage, Dark Pit appeared, floating gently an inch or so above the ground. "Hey, Lucina, you're back!"

"Told you I would be," Lucina smiled.

"So your plan worked?"

"Of course it did," Lucina performed a strange sort of bow. "One could say it almost worked better than I'd expected..."

"Yeah, I heard about that," Dark Pit nodded, his voice and face suddenly becoming very serious. "We're in trouble now, aren't we?"

"Yeah..." Lucina nodded. "Look, we'll stay at the hotel tonight, then tomorrow, we take our money and book it for Yllise- they won't be able to get to us there. And from there on, we'll just be living the sweet life!"

"Better than the suite life," Dark Pit noted.

"Puns like that will get you murdered, sir," Lucina smirked.

"And I'd like to see anyone try," Dark Pit shot back.

As they were speaking, a two-man bed made its way on-stage. Apparently, they were now supposed to be in the hotel room.

Pit lay down in the bed. "So, do you think that maybe someone in Yllise can bring me back to life?"

"Back to life?" Lucina blinked.

"I heard that someone in Yllisa had the ability to bring people back from the dead. You've got so much money now, and it would be great to enjoy a good old-fashioned breakfast again..."

"I wouldn't put too much stock on that," Lucina shook her head. "Every time someone tries to come back from the dead, it always ends up going horribly awry."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Dark Pit acknowledged, leaning back. "But still, it makes you wonder..."

"Come on, let's turn in early tonight," Lucina suggested, turning towards him. "It's going to be a long day tomorrow if we're going to get to Yllise..."

The lights faded out again. As they faded back in, they were much brighter. The moment they did, Lucina sat bolt upright on the bed, a frightened look on her face.

Dark Pit had already risen from the bed in the meantime. "Something wrong there, Lucy?" he asked, a note of false concern entering his voice.

"No, nothing, just a nightmare," Lucina shook her head as she stood. "Come on, let's get going." Even as she spoke, she moved towards the suitcases also wheeled out in the darkness, performing some last-minute checks on them.

"Already?" Dark Pit blinked, sounding surprised. "I mean, of course, I don't need breakfast, but I thought that you might."

"We can get breakfast on the road," Lucina brushed him aside as she went through the case. "Don't want to stick around here longer... than... necessary..."

"Something wrong?" Dark Pit asked, leaning forward.

"Wh... where is it?" Lucina asked. "Where is it? Where is it?!" As she continued to speak, both her speech and actions became more frenzied, until she upended the suitcase all over the bed and began frantically scouring the contents.

"Where's what?" Dark Pit asked, caught off guard. "Something wrong?"

"It's missing!" Lucina cried.

"What is?!"

"My necklace! My dragon necklace- it was a present from my father! Where is it?!"

"It should be there!" Dark Pit cried back.

"Are you sure? You're sure you packed it back at the apartment?"

"Yeah, I'm sure!"

Lucina, having concluded that the necklace was not in the flotsam and jetsam currently covering the bed, turned on Dark Pit. "You're absolutely sure?! Absolutely, posi-freaking-tively certain that you got my necklace?!"

Dark Pit opened his mouth to confirm yes, but then seemed to abruptly halt himself. "Er..."

"DID YOU GET IT OR DID YOU NOT?!"

"I... I think I did..."

"THERE IS NO 'I THINK!' EITHER YOU DID GET IT OR YOU DIDN'T!"

"I... I'm not certain..."

Lucina froze for a minute, then upended the bed, causing even Dark Pit to leap back. When she turned on him, she was speaking dangerously once more. "My father went through hell to get that necklace to me. It's been in my family for four frakking generations!"

Dark Pit was steadily backing away, even as Lucina approached. Finally, though, they both stopped. Lucina put her face in her hands, and made as though wiping something away off of her nose. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke, sounding much more calm than before. "But... but it's not... it's not your fault... you forgot my necklace. Now that I think back... I never really made it clear to you how important that necklace was to me. I should have- I should have made it absolutely clear that that necklace is my... my most important possession... even more than my sword. That necklace... is everything to me. I should have told you, should have made sure you understood... I mean, you're not a mind reader... unless you've been keeping secrets from me... have you?"

"No... no, I haven't been keeping secrets..." Dark Pit responded, still sounding shaken. Lucina took another deep breath, and spoke again.

"Alright then, fair enough. I'm heading out- I'll take the Exo Tank. I'm going back to the apartment... to get my necklace."

"You're going back to the apartment?!" Dark Pit gasped. "You- you can't- that's the first place they'd look for you!"

"I know," Lucina nodded. "But I'm not leaving Kurain without that necklace. Stay here- I'll be back as soon as I can."

"No- let me come with you- I can help you find it, make up for leaving it behind-"

"Hey," Lucina interrupted. "I don't blame you, you don't have to make anything up. I'll get it myself... sit tight, I'll be back ASAP."

Dark Pit nodded, and walked off-stage. As soon as he was gone, Lucina flipped out. "THAT FREAKING MORON FORGOT MY FREAKING NECKLACE! I MADE IT VERY CLEAR THAT NECKLACE WAS PRIORITY NUMBER 1, BUT THEN HE HAS TO GO AND FORGET IT! FREAKING ECTOPLASM FOR BRAINS! FREAKING-"

At which point another fade-to-black signaled a change in scene. When it faded in again, Shulk and Link were sitting together around a table, with a chest of drawers nearby with a necklace on top of it. The two of them were playing a game of Monopoly on the table. Link smiled as he rolled the dice and moved his piece. "This is the best idea you've ever had," he said to his 'boss' as he picked up a chance card. "Everyone else out looking for Lucina, we just recline back at her place and get a day off."

"This isn't a vacation, Link," Shulk reprimanded quietly. "We're keeping an eye out in case she does decide to come home for some reason... though I don't know why she would." He smiled conspiratorially at Link as he picked up the dice and rolled. "Now, let's see... ah, crud."

"Ha!" Link cheered. "On Pacific, with a hotel! Deal with that, Shulk!"

"I do believe... I am bankrupt," Shulk muttered, looking through all his money. "Well, I guess that means I have to go get the donuts."

"Not a vacation, huh?" Link smirked.

"Oh, shut up," Shulk smiled, heading towards the edge of the stage. "Back in a second."

"Get me some coffee, too, why don't you?" Link called out.

"I'm not a waiter, Link, I'm your boss!"

"Yeah, sure," Link smirked. "Lots of milk, but don't put any sugar in it, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Shulk smiled as he headed off-stage.

Link smiled as he glanced at the Monopoly board. "What are the odds?" he thought out loud. "Must be my lucky day."

A growling sound went out over the speakers. Link looked around as if in surprise, then shrugged. "Looks like nature calls." With that, he stood and headed off-stage as well.

As soon as he was gone, Lucina appeared, sneaking across the room, glancing constantly from side to side. Moving as stealthily as possible, she made her way towards the chest of drawers. Looking down at it, she scoffed as she reached down and picked the necklace up, wasting no time in throwing it around her neck. With it present, she seemed much calmer, relaxing and taking a quick seat in one of the chairs... until she noticed the Monopoly board set there. A flushing sound came from just off-stage, causing Lucina to freeze as she slowly turned around. Quickly, she jumped to her feet and drew her own sword, moving forward slowly but steadily. Finally, Link re-entered the stage. Looking up, he jolted backwards as he saw Lucina standing there with her sword poised and ready. The two stared each other down for a long moment before Lucina lunged forward with her blade...

CLANG!

XXXX

"What?" Zelda gasped.

"The heck?" Robin finished.

"Well, that wasn't in the script," Mario muttered.

XXXX

Link stood there, his own sword out and blocking Lucina's. "What are you doing?" Lucina hissed, glancing at the audience. "You're supposed to be dead already!"

"What, you think I'm just going to let a Sierra beat me, even in a fixed fight?!" Link growled. "No, I'm turning this story around!"

He pulled his sword back and drove it towards Lucina, who deflected it right away. The two stepped backwards into the stage, moving slowly and cautiously. Every now and again, one of them stepped forward and swung at their opponent, only to have the sword driven away. This was followed by some more circling, a brief flurry of activity, and more steady circling.

"Come on, afraid to actually fight?" Link taunted.

"Rule number 1 of swordplay: always get the measure of your opponent first," Lucina pointed out.

"That is true," Link acknowledged. "What kind of sword techniques do you have up your sleeve?"

Lucina shrugged, then lunged forward, aiming high, only to abruptly switch to a side strike. Link, however, saw through it, blocking the side and pressing forward. For the first time, they began to duel in earnest, pushing each other back and forth across the stage.

Link leapt around towards Lucina's back, but she swung her sword behind and blocked this strike as well. She responded by sheathing her sword, only to bring it out, putting all her power behind one more swing, which Link dodged by leaping directly over her, attempting to strike at her head as he passed but finding his sword's path blocked once again.

After a few more minutes of furious fighting, Link smiled. "Well, you're definitely not half bad... for someone from Sierra."

"I liked you up until that last part," Lucina muttered.

"In fact, I might even say you're better than I am!" Link admitted.

"Well, that is a compliment, especially from you," Lucina noted, her eyes wide. "But that doesn't explain why you're smiling."

"I know something you don't know," Link grinned.

"And that is...?"

"I... am not right handed!"

Link managed to push Lucina back enough to toss his sword through the air, from the right hand he'd been using to his left. From there on, Lucina began losing, being pushed further and further back and not really gaining much ground in return. It continued until Link had his sword practically at her throat, only barely being held back by Lucina's own falchion. As she strained to keep it back, Lucina grumbled out, "There's... something I should tell you..."

"A last wish?" Link suggested quizzaciously.

"No... the truth is... I am right-handed."

Link looked down at the left hand holding Lucina's sword, then up at her smirk. She kicked him backwards into the stage and tossed her falchion into her dominant hand. From there, the fight continued to go back and forth, and as it did, something very strange happened- the anger towards each other that had once filled both faces began to fade away, replaced by something very much like enjoyment. As the steel clashed, it seemed to be wearing away at their hatred towards each other, replaced by the simple thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of their rivals.

"You really are pretty darn good," Link smiled. "You know how to handle that sword, that's for sure."

"You too," Lucina smiled back. "You know, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they fight with a sword."

"That's what I'm always saying!" Link agreed. "Not that anyone really listens to me..."

"Too true, too true," Lucina nodded. "There really aren't enough people in Sierra who appreciate swordsmanship. Even Robin just keeps using that freaking book."

"Doesn't he... she... whatever... have a sword?"

"Yeah, but that book's her...his... whatever... power controller. S/he only uses the sword when s/he absolutely has to."

Link blinked. "When did we get the ability to hear forward slashes?"

"Just now," Lucina shrugged.

Finally, they brought their swords together, staring each other down and pressing as hard as they could. "You know, this fight's been great and all," Lucina acknowledged, "but, you know, the script does call for you to lose."

"Or rather, it didn't call for a fight at all," Mario grumbled, only to get pinched into silence by Zelda.

"It does?" Link blinked. "Oh... you're right. So it does." He pulled his sword back, deliberately leaving himself wide open, and Lucina ran her blade right past his face. He took a couple exaggerated steps back, his eyes wide open. "YOOOOOOOU'VE KILLED MEEEEEEEE!" he cried, before keeling over on the ground.

"Good," Lucina smirked, twirling her sword around as she sheathed her blade again. Checking to make sure she had the crystal dragon around her neck, she turned and ran off-stage. Another fade to black.

XXXX

Link scampered back off-stage. As he did, Mario glared at him. "So much for following the script, huh?"

"Oh, ease off, Mario," Link shrugged. "It was fun!"

"You had fun out there?" Zelda asked, surprised.

"Yeah... you know, she might not be as bad as I thought at first..."

"And that's what I've been trying to tell you all along!" Robin stepped in, female form.

"Though that still doesn't explain why you can't just pick a gender," Link noted without missing a beat. Hah. Music humor.

"See? She says that all the time- you're more alike than you know!"

"I'm pretty sure you get that from pretty much everyone," Mario pointed out.

XXXX

Meanwhile, back on stage, Shulk had reappeared, walking across the stage with a bag in one hand and a tray of coffee in the other. As he got to the middle point, Lucina entered from the other side, carrying under one arm another piece of cardboard cut out to resemble a vehicle- in this case, the aforementioned Exo Tank. Kirby stood in the middle of the stage, dressed up like a crossing guard, ordering her to stop her vehicle, which she did. Shulk was on the point of moving past her when he looked up at the vehicle itself. Lucina looked up as well, and their eyes met. Shulk looked surprised, and Lucina suddenly looked horrified.

"Well, well, well..." Shulk muttered. "Must be my lucky day." With that, he dropped the donuts and coffee alike, reaching for and drawing his sword. Lucina reacted almost instinctively, rushing forward in the Exo Tank, prompting Shulk to leap to the side to simulate being hit. As Lucina rushed across the stage, a cardboard kart being driven by Meta Knight came out of seemingly nowhere, plowing into Lucina in her Exo Tank, knocking her aside and necessitating another dark-transition.

As the lights came on again, the focus seemed to be on Shulk as he pulled himself to his feet, with both Kirby and Meta looking down on him in concern. "You alright there, buddy?" Kirby asked. "I mean, that woman just went freaking insane, mowing you down like that. Need me to call an ambulance?"

His words were seemingly lost on Shulk, however, who immediately began looking intently around at the mention of 'that woman.' "Where is she? Where'd she go?"

"She's over there," Meta explained, indicating the other end of the stage, where Lucina was just managing to pull herself to her feet next to her fallen cardboard Exo Tank. "Accidentally hit her when she crossed the inter- whoa!"

This last was due to Shulk abruptly rising to his feet and drawing his sword, which was rapidly expanding until it was several times larger than it had been before. Lucina finally pulled herself to her feet, and, upon looking around and seeing him in pursuit, spun and began running in the opposite direction. Thus began one of the most... interesting scenes of the play, as Lucina and Shulk chased each other around. It almost got Scooby-Doo style at one point, with a hallway full of doors that the two of them ran in and out of almost at random. Shulk chased her, swinging his sword and yelling like a madman, as Lucina merely tried to get away.

Finally, a light shone on Wario, standing behind a wall. Lucina ran to said wall, jerked open the door, and entered. Quickly, she crouched down behind the wall, catching Wario's attention.

"Whoa, there, lady, is something-a going wrong?" he asked in his distinct voice.

"Quiet!" Lucina desperately begged him. "Keep quiet!"

"Why? What's-a goin' on?"

Lucina closed her eyes tightly Shulk appeared on stage again. He made his way over to the door Lucina had just gone into, hesitating only for a moment before entering. He immediately turned to Wario. "Where is she?" he asked threateningly.

However, before Wario even had the chance to answer, Lucina jumped Shulk from behind, smacking him upside the head with the hilt of her sword. He crumpled to the ground, and Lucina tossed the sword to the side in favor of getting down on top of Shulk and proceeding to pummel him within an inch of his life- never actually making contact, naturally, though Shulk responded as if she were. "Feeling some anger, there? Huh?" she shouted as she continued to beat him. "Relax, how about?! That's just pride messing with you! Feel it?! Do you feel that pride messing with you?!"

She only stopped when, abruptly, Wario called out, "You stop right there, girl!"

Lucina froze, and, as one, she and Shulk turned to see Wario, with Lucina's sword in hand, holding it directly over Lucina's neck. "You gonna stop right there."

"Drop the sword," Lucina said cautiously, but firmly. "I don't know who you are, but this is none of my business."

"You be fightin' under Wario's roof, you make it Wario's business," Wario retorted. "So, here's what we gonna be doin'..." And with that, he smacked Lucina over the head with the hilt as well- she duly crumpled to the floor next to Shulk, both unconscious. Wario chuckled as he headed over to a nearby phone. "Hey, Bowser, come on over, we gotta nuther coupla guests..."

Another black-fade, and Shulk and Lucina were both tied up to chairs, bound and gagged, under a red light. Wario sat on another chair in front of them, grinning. "Sorry, my friends, but nobody kills anybody in this building except for Wario... and Bowser."

A chime of bells up above. Wario grinned. "And that... be Bowser." He stood and headed off-stage for a second- a second that Shulk and Lucina spent exchanging terrified looks with each other.

Wario returned, with Bowser in tow. "So, these are the trouble-makers you caught, huh?" Bowser chortled. "What were they doin'?"

"Well, this one comes-a bargin' into the shop," Wario explained, indicating Lucina, "and a second later, tha otha one comes in, shoutin' for me to tell him where she was. Then she jumped him and tried to beat him to death..."

"Interesting," Bowser smirked, sitting down in the chair occupied not long ago by Wario. "So, which one of you started this little scuffle?"

Shulk and Lucina both tried to speak, but, of course, only a series of muffled grunts made their way through the gags.

Bowser laughed unpleasantly. "That's what they all say,' he smirked. "Well, I guess we'll just let the prophet have a gander, whatdya say?"

"Good idea," Wario grinned. "Oh, Waa!"

"Oh, yeah!" came the distinct voice of you-know-who. "Waluigi time!"

And so entered the tall, lanky, purple form of Waluigi. He seemed very happy to finally be getting his part- he almost danced over to where the others were sitting. "So, what-a you got for Waluigi today?"

"Seems we've got a couple of trouble-makers," Bowser grinned. "So, how's about tellin' us which one to punish first?"

"Hmmm..." Waluigi turned to examine both of them closely. "Well... dis one-a lookin' suspicious to Waluigi! You be startin' with him!"

If you couldn't tell, he was pointing to Shulk, who immediately began panicking as Bowser and Wario chortled together, grabbing the top of his chair and dragging him just off-screen. Bowser looked back just before leaving the stage. "Keep an eye on her, Wa. We'll be back soon."

"Oh, yeah, Waluigi lovin' ta be doin' that," Waluigi grinned wickedly, turning his gaze onto Lucina.

As Shulk's muffled screams echoed from off-stage, Lucina and Waluigi seemed to be having a sort of staring contest with each other. Lucina was struggling against her ropes as much as she could. Waluigi let out a cackling laugh. "You tryin' to escape? Sorry, but no one escape from ropes tied up by Waluigi's brotha! You never be seein' da light of-"

WHACK!... went the sound of Lucina's freed fist against Waluigi's sternum.

"Waluigi can't believe you be escapin'..." the tall student choked out as he collapsed to the ground. Lucina quickly stood, tossing the ropes to the side and undoing the gag around her mouth. She quickly ran to the opposite side of the stage from where Shulk had been dragged off from, but, just before leaving, turned back to where Shulk's muffled screams were still emanating from. She looked towards the other side of the stage- freedom- and back- Shulk. Freedom. Shulk. Freedom. Shulk.

"For the love of the Wave Existence!" she growled in agitation. In said agitation, the dragon necklace came free from the front of her armor. She looked down at it, seemingly in contemplation, and suddenly seemed to come to a decision. Looking around, she spotted her sword, lying on the ground several feet away. She quickly crossed the ground and grabbed it before turning back towards Shulk's side of the stage. As she moved forward, Bowser, Wario, and Shulk moved out on stage, Shulk still in that chair, bound and gagged, while Bowser sat in front of him, carrying a cell phone playing a certain song on loop, over and over again...

"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination..."

Shulk, meanwhile, was writhing and screaming as the show continued on. Wario stood behind Shulk, chortling at the misfortune going on in front of his eyes. A chortle that was abruptly cut short as Lucina snuck up behind him and rammed her sword through his chest- well, not really, but in the world of the play- ah, you get the idea by now. Wario let out a yelp, and then a grunt as Lucina pulled the sword back out, stepping in front of him as Bowser looked up in shock, and Shulk began twisting around, trying to see what had happened. Lucina stood between them all, steadily turning her sword around and casually stabbing Wario again without even looking- this time, Wario fell to the ground and didn't get up again.

With Wario down, her next move was to cut Shulk's bonds, releasing him. He immediately stood and undid the gag. Lucina turned towards Bowser. "So, how are you doing today?" she asked casually, sword raised up to the turtle's neck. "Hope I'm not making you uncomfortable or anything..."

Bowser gulped, eyes glancing towards a sword next to him- Shulk's light blue, slightly transparent blade. This gaze didn't go unnoticed by Lucina. "Oh, do you want that sword?" she asked. "Well, then, all you have to do is reach out and take it. Go on. Who's stopping you?"

The standoff persisted for a moment before Shulk stood up, stepping out from behind Lucina, and grabbing the sword himself. Glowering at Bowser, he spoke in a dead-serious tone. "Lucina... move."

Lucina stepped aside, and Shulk, eyes full of fury, raised his sword above his head, where it once again expanded to many times its usual size before he brought it down on Bowser, who let out a scream as he collapsed to the ground. Shulk was still glaring down at him as the sword returned to normal size, and he kept it pointed at Bowser for the rest of the scene.

Lucina, standing off to the side, took another moment to speak up. "So... are you okay?"

Shulk threw a quick glance at her. "Really? Do I look like I'm okay?"

Lucina shook her head. "No, not really, not in particular."

"I'm not," Shulk confirmed, turning his attention back towards Bowser. "I am just about as far from 'okay' as you can get. But as bad as I am right now... it's nothing to what this turtle's about to go through. By the time me and my boys are done with him, his own mother won't be able to recognize him. You hear me, turtle? I'm going to rip you to pieces and send each piece to a different planet!"

Lucina coughed. "So... what now?"

Shulk blinked. "I just told you what now. This turtle here has just signed up for a week-long slow, agonizing death..."

Lucina coughed again. "I was thinking more... what now... between you and me?"

Shulk blinked again. "Oh. That. You and me. I'll tell you what now between you and me. There is no you and me. From this moment on, you and I are complete strangers."

Lucina spoke slowly. "So... cool beans?"

"Yeah... cool beans," Shulk nodded. "Under three conditions."

"Name them."

"First off: we don't carry that 'cool beans' reference any further than we already have."

"I wasn't planning on it anyways."

"Good. Second: Nobody ever finds out about this, ever. This is between the three of us in this room, and that's going to be just two soon enough."

"And I'm one of those two, right?"

Shulk threw her an eyes-half-closed glance before continuing. "And finally... you leave Kurain. I'll give you until tomorrow to get out of here, and once you leave, you don't come back. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Lucina nodded. She turned and began crossing the stage once again, looking back only once. As she did, Shulk slowly transferred the sword holding Bowser at bay to his left hand, leaving his right free to raise into the air, making a strange sign- his pinky, middle and ring fingers curled down, leaving his index and thumb to make a sort of L-shape in the air, though it would have been backwards from Bowser's perspective. Lucina blinked, but ultimately shrugged. As she exited through the door she'd entered to get into this mess in the first place, her eyes fell on another piece of cardboard on the ground. Smiling, she lifted it up- yet another cardboard-cutout kart- a Classic Dragster, no less. With a wide grin, she took it and headed off stage, initiating one final fade-to-black.

With the lights back on, Dark Pit was standing on the stage, looking around. "She's been gone a long time..." he muttered to nobody in particular.

No sooner had he said this than Lucina came Flinstoning in in her cardboard Dragster. "Hey, Dark!" she called out. "Come on, get in, we gotta get going!"

"What's with that car?" Dark Pit asked, blinking in surprise.

"Well, technically, it's a kart," Lucina pointed out. "No time to explain now, get in, I'll tell you the story on the road!"

"Story? What story? Did you get your necklace?"

"Yeah, I got the necklace," Lucina shook her head. "But that doesn't matter right now- get in the kart, we need to go!"

Dark Pit turned away slightly, hiding his face. "You took a while out there. I... I was starting to get worried."

"Yeah, sorry about that, I got a little side-tracked," Lucina muttered. "I'll tell you, Dark, with all the stuff that's been going on, today's a shoo-in for the weirdest day of my life. Hurry up, or you don't get to hear about it."

Moving semi-reluctantly, Dark Pit climbed into the kart alongside Lucina. Glancing at it once more, he asked, "What happened to the Exo Tank? Where'd you get this car?"

"Kart," Lucina corrected, ignoring the previous question.

"Okay, kart, then, where'd you get this kart?"

"It's Bowser's," Lucina shrugged.

"Bowser? Who's Bowser?"

"Bowser's dead, Dark. Bowser's dead." And with that, Lucina started Flinstoning once again, carrying the kart and Dark Pit off-stage just in time for the curtain to fall.

XXXX

Just in case anyone was wondering, I don't really have anyone that I ship either Lucina or Dark Pit with- the pairing occurring in this story is more or less because I have a friend or two who ship it, combined with the 'Why-the-heck-not' mentality that led to the creation of stories like this to begin with. Anyways, next time, we'll go through most of the rest of the story (as in, everything except the epilogue, essentially,) in Operation: Birdgirl. Hope to see you guys there! In the meantime, please R&R, constructive criticism welcome, flames, not so much, Gamer4 out!