Disclaimer: Do you really think that if I owned Harry Potter Fred, Sirius, Remus, Tonks and almost nearly everyone else I really liked would've died? Really?
Chapter Three
What Started With A Letter…
The Boa Constrictor escapade earned Harry and Jace the longest punishment yet. When they finally had the freedom to breathe proper fresh air, it was almost August. Jace immediately got to work on fixing all of Dudley's broken toys and selling them, earning her around £858. A good deal mostly but she felt that all things considered she could have gotten a higher price for most things.
Harry on the other hand was playing Dudley and co.'s favourite game: Harry-hunting. They never went for Jace as they all knew how dangerous it was to publicly make her your enemy. So Harry was next in line.
After some days of this it was time to start thinking about new schools. Dudley was going to Smeltings all boys private school. Harry and Jace were being sent to the local comprehensive; despite how many letters and emails the Dursleys got to let Jace (and Harry sometimes when the school knew how close the twins were) come to their school, and the other small fact that Jace didn't really need to go to school anymore.
The day after Dudley and Petunia went to get his Smeltings uniform was sunny.
'Very bright. People will be in good moods and so the sales should be good to day,' thought Jace 'I might even be able to bring Harry if it's bright enough to keep the Dursleys happy.'
That was when she noticed the rank smell coming from the kitchen.
What the hell…?
She stopped staring out the window and turned to check out the smell. But if she had turned around or kept looking out the window she would have noticed the owl carrying two letters…
But she didn't.
Instead she walked into the kitchen to see Vernon and Dudley about to sit down, Harry standing looking torn between thoughtful and annoyed —at least to her it seemed that way but it could just be her imagination— and Petunia poking at something in a basin that held an uncanny resemblance to elephant skin. So the smell was…. the… thing in the basin. Or was it things?
She glanced at Harry to clarify the situation. He shrugged and thought-spoke the details.
She grimaced inwardly. Jace was not wearing those elephant skin rejects. And she knew she could afford it. So could the D's what with the special money they got from the government for taking her and Harry in but they usually spent the money on Dudley and Dame, only ever using it on the twins when the Social worker came by.
*The sound of the post coming through the mail slot.*
The post. Damn. Jace had been so close to breakfast. So close. 'I helped a nun last week,' Jace thought/spoke to Harry. 'Why am I being punished?'
Karma. It does things its own way. But she could hear the slight, schadenfreude in his voice as Vernon forced them to get the post.
But Jace had some devilish energy to burn. Even as the Angel in her told Jace it was a bad idea. Jace just couldn't resist.
"Aunt P," Jace started, "I'm pretty sure that the killing and skinning of elephants, to wear as clothes is against certain laws." And then she ran out before Petunia or any of the Dursleys could fully process what she had said.
Harry was already at the slot. He didn't notice Jace coming up behind him; with good reason. He was distracted.
Because there on the doormat were four letters: a post card from Vernon's sister Marge, an envelope that looked very much like a bill and then two letters. For Harry and Jace.
Jace was looking at the letters in stunned silence before reaching down to pick it up. Harry did the same. On his was:
Mr H. Potter
The Cupboard under the Stairs
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
He glanced at Jace's:
Ms J. Potter
The Cupboard under the Stairs
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
"Whoa…" Jace breathed out "We're being stalked."
Harry had to laugh; only Jace could be that – what? Best word to describe it would be nonchalant or something. No. Um... I got it! Blasé. That was the word. Only Jace could be so blasé in these situations. Uh. Moving on. The envelope was thick and heavy and the address was written in an emerald ink that matched the twins' eyes.
They were both about to open their letters when Vernon's impatience was voiced.
"Hurry up! What are you doing checking for letter bombs?" Vernon chuckled while Harry and Jace grimaced at the bad joke. They folded up the letters, put them into their pockets, Jace picked up the bill and postcard and they walked back into the kitchen.
Jace handed the other mail to Vernon and then followed her brother to sit down and gently tear into their letters.
Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust then looked at the postcard. "Marge is sick," he told Petunia. "Ate something strange…"
"Dad!" Dudley said suddenly, startling the twins enough to make them look up. "The freaks have got something!"
Jace gave Dudley the Glare-o-Death when Vernon snatched both letters from their hands.
"Hey!"The twins said in unison. "Those are ours!" trying to snatch them back.
"Who'd be writing to you?" Vernon sneered, glancing at the letters then his face changed colour so fast it vaguely resembled a malfunctioning traffic light. But it didn't stop there; by the end of it his face was a greyish white like rather old porridge.
"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.
Dudley tried to get the letter but Vernon wouldn't let him near, instead handing it over to Petunia who read the first line curiously before she paled. She made a choked sound and looked like she would faint.
"Vernon! Oh my goodness – Vernon!" They stared at each other. But Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He hit Vernon with his Smeltings stick.
"I want to read the letters," he announced loudly.
"We want to read the letters," the twins said furiously "As they're ours!"
"Get out, all of you," Vernon choked out.
The twins didn't move.
"WE WANT OUR LETTERS!" they shouted.
"Let me see it," Dudley demanded.
"OUT!" Vernon roared and he pushed all three of them out the door and slammed it too. Jace didn't even bother fighting instead she upped her Death Glare level. Dudley whimpered and gave in. Harry listened from the crack between the door and the floor and Dudley from a hole in the wall.
"Vernon," Aunt Petunia said quietly, "the address – how do they know where they sleep? Are they watching the house?"
"Watching – spying – following us even," he replied muttering.
"So what do we do? Write back? Tell them we don't want—"
Jace could hear Vernon pacing. Harry could see his shiny black shoes.
"No," he replied. "We'll just ignore it. If they don't get an answer... yes that's the best way…"
"But—"
"We shan't have any in this house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took them in we would stamp out all that nonsense!?"
That night Vernon did the unthinkable. He visited Harry and Jace in their cupboard. They both glared at him, forgetting to be surprised.
"Where's our letters?" Harry said instantly. "Who's writing to us?"
"No one, it was addressed to you by mistake. I've burnt them." Vernon replied.
"You had no right," Jace said quietly. The danger alarms went off in Harry's head and he clasped her hand in his to calm her down. "It wasn't a mistake. It had our cupboard on it!" he continued angrily.
"SILENCE!" Vernon yelled. Jace growled at him and he forced a painful looking smile. "Yes – well about this cupboard. Your Aunt and I have been thinking… you're both growing up … we think you'd be better suited to Dame and Dudley's second bedrooms."
"Why?" Harry asked now suspicious.
"Don't ask questions! Just move all this stuff upstairs." And he left.
The Dursleys' house had six bedrooms: Vernon and Petunia's, the guest room, the two where Dame and Dudley slept (in Dame's case "had slept" since she hadn't visited the Dursleys since Jace's letter) and the two which they had claimed as their own but Dame barely ever used hers and Dudley just put his old (mostly broken) toys.
Harry sat down in Dudley's spare room looking around. This would be Jace's idea of a goldmine. There were so many things here that she could fix and sell for gosh knows what.
It had only taken one trip for them to bring all their stuff upstairs. He looked around once more. The only thing untouched was a shelve of books. Jace would like that. If she didn't want it then she could sell them for how much it cost to buy them since they weren't damaged and she could read the ones she liked. Then sell them with a JAce Approved seal on the back. He still didn't know how that worked but every time he asked she'd smile and say "Wait just a little longer Harry. Then I'll let you in on the magic." Or something even more cryptic. Once she had adopted a River Song stance and said simply "Spoilers." No question he had tried to hit her right then. She knew just how much he hated River's enigmatic behaviour in the show. He grit his teeth at the memory. Then it occurred to him since he was staying in this bedroom he and Jace would no longer be together for the first time in three years they wouldn't be sleeping in the same room.
Then Jace barged in with her trunk in hand.
'Speak of the devil and thou shall appear,' Harry thought.
Jace narrowed her eyes at him. I heard that.
"And if I say you were meant to?" He replied out loud.
She stuck her tongue out at him.
"So why are you here anyway?" he asked her, though he was secretly glad she was there. Of course he would never reveal that to her but…
"I'm staying here of course!" she announced gently throwing her trunk onto the second bed in the room. The one Harry was currently sitting on was blue/red and the one Jace had pronounced as hers was black/white. Suiting her perfectly. In a truly ironic way.
"Aren't you meant to be sleeping in Dame's room?" he asked quizzically.
"I was but…" she trailed off, now looking around at the broken things like they were pieces of heaven on earth.
"But what?" he pressed on.
"It- It was so pink. So pink I wouldn't be able to sleep in it. The colour burned my eyes and would most likely play a starring role in my nightmares," Jace told him.
Nightmares. Oh. That explained why she wouldn't want to sleep there. It would remind her of St Lucian's. "And," she said rather quietly like she didn't mean for Harry to hear her. "I would probably miss you too much."
But before he had time to really think about this the sound of Dudley's tantrum reached his ears.
"I don't want him in there … I need that room … make him get out …"
Harry sighed. Any other day. Any other day it would've been a dream come true to be up here; Today though he wished he had the letter instead.
The next morning's breakfast was somewhat tense and awkward. The twins were waging silent war against the Dursleys, Petunia and Vernon were… well… It was rather hard to explain exactly what was going on with them and Dudley… well. Dudley was in shock; he'd fought screamed, whacked, broken, shrieked, kicked, vomited, thrown and tantrummed (was that even a word?) but he still hadn't gotten back his room.
That day when the post arrived instead of the usual Dudley was sent to fetch the mail. When he had shouted from the hall that there were more letters the twins were there faster than the speed of sound. But Vernon still got there first.
Jace was still laughing three hours later at the scene she had witnessed while the males had fought it out. Vernon had won and proceeded to burn them.
Harry was pacing the room trying to ignore Jace's loud laughter as he thought. The sender knew they had been moved, they also knew that he and Jace still hadn't read their letters.
So they would try again. And this time they would succeed. He had a plan.
The alarm went off at six and Harry, after dragging his sister out of the bed, ran down the stairs without changing his clothes as he had went to bed fully dressed. Of course his sister had not been so fortunate. She was currently changing in their bedroom—
"AAARRRGH!"
Harry jumped a foot into the air realizing he had stepped on something alive.
The lights turned on, Harry realized that he had stepped on Uncle Vernon. He had planned the perfect counter plan for Harry's brilliant plan.
As Harry was sent into the kitchen the mail arrived. No question Vernon ripped all six letters to shreds. Harry held hope that while Vernon was at work the mail would come and Aunt P would be distracted but Vernon then decided to stay at home from work (at a drill making firm, Harry hoped it was a family business to be passed on to Dudley. Even if Jace or even he would be so much more better for it) and had nailed up the mail slot, further dashing Harry's plans. After hearing and seeing this and the conversation that followed Jace decided that Vernon had put his sanity somewhere and forgotten where he placed it.
On Friday twenty four letters arrived some had been pushed through the holes in the wall, the small gap under the door, the bathroom window and other things. Vernon stayed home once more and spent the day fixing every little crack, gap or mouse hole he could find. He hummed and jumped at the smallest of sounds.
On Saturday it became rather strange. Forty-eight letters found their way into the house in the form of eggs. Aunt P shredded the letters in the food mixer and Vernon spent the day on the phone complaining to some poor soul about … everything.
Sunday was the end of the line.
Vernon had been happy since you couldn't get letters on Sunday. Well, he was happy until something came whizzing out the chimney. No not something – somethings.
The Dursleys ducked, Harry jumped and Jace performed a particularly graceful ballerina leap and she had gotten hold of a letter but it slipped from her grasp as Vernon grabbed her and Harry and flung them out of the room. Petunia and Dudley ran out after them and Vernon slammed the door but they could still hear the sound of the letters bouncing around.
"That does it. You all will be back here in five minutes with your luggage. Packed and ready to go. No Arguments. Go!" Vernon told them in a way that meant 'Disobeying means certain death'. His moustache was half gone.
Ten minutes later they were all in the car. Dudley was sad, Jace was mad, Petunia and Vernon were glad and Harry was squashed/squished again because Dudley was so big. And he was stuck in the middle.
They drove and drove. And drove. And drove some more. Now and again Vernon would take a sharp turn. "Shake 'em off," he said.
They didn't eat. Well the Dursleys hadn't: Jace had seen the problem and had packed some edible snacks for her and Harry to eat in secrecy.
Dudley was in foul mood. He'd missed all his favourite shows, He had no computer and he was hungry.
They stopped outside a hotel. All three children were forced to share a room. Pure torture. Especially with Dudley's strange (and loud) snoring.
Neither twin fell asleep. Each getting up to a different kind of mischief.
The breakfast was low grade.
The owner came up to talk to them once they were finished. "'Scuse me but are either of you Mr H and/or Ms J Potter? Cos I got about a hundred of these in the mail on the front desk."
Mr H. Potter / Ms J. Potter
Room 17
Railview Hotel
Cokeworth
So now they were getting joint letters.
The twins made a grab for the letters she was holding but Vernon slapped them out of the way.
"I'll take them."
The owner stared, obviously wondering if the children had been kidnapped by the strange violent man. But she led him to the front desk anyway.
Vernon had locked them in the car and gone off to do god-knows-what.
"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia.
It started to rain. "It's Monday. The Great Humberto's on today. Let's stay somewhere with TV."
OH! Lords; it was Monday. So that meant tomorrow. Tuesday was Harry's birthday. And Jace's. He glanced at his sister, and saw that the same revelation and been made to her as well. Of course birthdays weren't the best but Jace could fix up a small (so the Dursleys wouldn't notice it) but nice present. And he could usually reciprocate with something else.
Uncle V came back. With a long package and a grin on his face.
He ignored questions about the package and pointed them in the direction of a toothless old man and rickety boat. After an explanation they started the boat ride. Terrible. Dudley threw up after and refused to eat. Vernon's "rations" were a joke. Crisps and bananas. And Jace hated bananas plus there wasn't any salt n vinegar.
The shack windows rattled against the storm. Jace had chosen the floor to sleep on and Harry had been forced but neither could sleep. Maybe it was because of Dudley's inhumane snoring. Or something else. Possibly because it was to be their birthday in thirty minutes.
They started the annual countdown.
Soon it was ten minutes, five, one, thirty seconds, twenty , they smirked at each other, ten, nine, maybe they would wake Dudley just to annoy him, three… two…
At One there was a loud sound. Like a cannon on the door.
PS: Notice my Big Bang Theory reference?
