Brian, Vinny and New Brian:
Guess Who's Back
by LDEJRuff
Chapter 4 - A Piece of the Past
The following afternoon, all three dogs were busy watching TV.
"We now return to Law & Order: PCAMP," said the announcer as the show was coming back on.
Pause.
"Oh, that guy's painting crude graffiti on that wall," Vinny said, pointing to the screen. "It ain't gonna be cheap to get it repainted."
New Brian then felt his tummy rumbling. "Excuse me, fellas," he said. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna go make us some lunch."
"Okay, New Brian," Brian replied. "Hurry back."
As New Brian went into the kitchen to make himself and his friends some lunch, he then noticed something fall from a side of the fridge.
"Hmmm? What's this?" It was a piece of paper. New Brian picked it up and turned it over, and began to read. "Dear Peter and Lois. If you're reading this, it means that I'm dead." His expression began to change to that of worry. "The reason why I'm writing this final note to you guys is because I'm too good for you. The demons inside me are slowly tearing me apart from the inside. And that is why I killed myself, chopped myself up, and..." He gulped. "...put myself in the garbage?" He put down the note. "Oh, my God. Did I really kill myself?"
"Hey, New Brian," Vinny said all the way from the living room, getting his attention. "How's that lunch coming? I'm hungrier than a hippo with an appetite for pizza."
"Just a minute, Vinny," New Brian called back. He then began to make a few sandwiches for all three of them. "What am I going to do?" he thought to himself, nervously. "If Brian and Vinny found out about this suicide note, I'd..."
He finally finished making the three sandwiches and handed both Brian and Vinny one each.
"Thanks, N.B.," Brian said before looking at him, then noticing his expression. "Are you all right?"
"Y-Yes, Brian," New Brian said, grinning nervously.
"Then why are you grinning so funny?" Vinny asked.
"Why-why do you ask, uh, Vinny? I haven't felt b-b-better in my life, heh-heh."
"Are you sure you're okay, New Brian?" Brian asked. "You look like you need to see the Veterinarian."
"No!" New Brian shouted, before realizing what he just did. "I mean, uh, you know how I feel about the Veterinarian. I don't, uh, want to have a suppository being put into my anus. I'd usually act like I'm gonna bite the giver."
With that, he backed up and ran up the stairs and closed the door in Stewie's bedroom in panic. He then pressed his back on the door and panted.
"That was a close one," he thought. "A little too close. I can't let the family know about the suicide note." He then looked down. "It looks like I have no choice. I have to run away." Before he could open the door, he then noticed Rupert in Stewie's crib. "Hmmm," he began aloud, "something about Rupert seems awfully familiar, but what could it be?"
He then walked back downstairs before both Brian and Vinny noticed him.
"Where are you going?" Brian asked.
"I'm just gonna take a walk," New Brian replied.
"Okay, well hurry back, N.B.," Vinny replied as he was all the way out the door.
New Brian then closed it. "I won't bother, Vinny," he thought before walking off. He hasn't looked back or returned since.
Later that day, when Peter and Lois returned home with their kids, they noticed that New Brian had gone missing.
"Brian, Vinny, have you seen New Brian?" Lois asked.
"He said he was going to take a walk," Brian answered.
"But he hasn't come back yet," Vinny added, shrugging.
Stewie, still in his mother's arms, looked in the kitchen and gasped in shock. "Oh, my God," he thought, noticing the note. "It's the forged suicide note I wrote for New Brian! He must have read it. Oh, God. If the family reads it, they'll think he actually killed himself. They'd be more disappointed than I was when I read Apathetic George all by myself."
Cutaway: We see Stewie sitting in his room, reading a yellow book with blue writing on the cover.
"Oh, no," he said quietly, sadly. "How can he die after millions of dollars in zoo revenue? He really should have gotten even more curious."
Later still, Stewie was in his room, typing on his computer keyboard. Vinny noticed when he walked in.
"What are you doing, Stews?" he asked.
"I'm trying to find out where New Brian could be," Stewie answered. "There's a tracking chip I put on New Brian's neck after he fell asleep one night."
"What?!" Vinny shouted, eyes widened. "That's a total violation of a dog's rights."
"Don't worry, Vin, it'll come right off," Stewie assured. "It's not completely embedded in his skin or anything. Anyway, I just need to find the exact location he could be at."
With that, Stewie continued typing. He didn't stop until his computer beeped. "It says that he's at the city dump."
"The city dump?" Vinny repeated. "What would he be doing there?"
"Maybe it has something to do with a line-crossing event that happened during the seventh seasonal run of the show," said Stewie. "You wouldn't understand." With that, he got his backpack ready.
"Where are you going?" Vinny asked.
"I'm going to get New Brian back," Stewie answered. "Like the time Brian and I decided to bring Rupert back from the toy factory."
Cutaway: We are at the recall room in the New England Toy and Game Company, like in Season 11 Episode 18, "Total Recall". Stewie was at a dead end on the conveyor belt after saving Rupert from falling into the fiery furnace.
"Brian, do something!" he shouted, holding Rupert.
Brian decided it was time to stop the conveyor belt by jamming a pogo stick into the gears. The machine stopped before a then-relieved Stewie could fall in.
"Oh, Rupert!" Stewie said joyously, hugging Rupert. "Thank God, you're alive!" He then panted, still holding his beloved teddy bear. "I'm, I'm ready now. I'm ready to get off the pill. I think we should start trying."
Author's note: This cutaway is the scene from said episode, the scene where Brian and Stewie saved Rupert from getting recalled.
