Chapter 4 - The Hardest Thing To Do
"I would ask you to stay
that would be the easy way
to avoid going through
all this trouble
me and you
the hardest thing to do"
Ryan cast one last glimpse out of the glass window on the dark rainy sky before he turned around and his eyes landed on his phone lying on the table beside his bed. And the last phone call and Marissa came to his mind again.
His stomach twisted and he could feel his heart slightly breaking as he remembered Marissa's reaction. He had clang on to the phone as he took a deep breath and ruffled through his sandy blonde hair thinking about the best way to break it to her. She had tried her best to hide her feelings and be strong, but he could her it in her voice that she was falling into pieces and that she was anything but fine.
A small part of him was still dying to rescue her again, rescue her from the pain he had caused her now and a pain he knew she would drown in vodka so that she wouldn't have to deal with the pain. To take it back and make it all go away, but he was too tired to do that. They had done that too many times now.
He knew that he couldn't save her, because that would mean he would have to save her from her self and the person she had become over the last years. Her luggage had become too heavy for both of them and she was the only one who could put it behind her. She had to figure out how to move on by her self.
Ryan took a deep breath as he looked up at the sky. The rain that was so rare in Newport wouldn't stop pouring down now and the skies were still dark and threatening. He went back to the bed again and sat down with his head in his heads. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he let a hand ruffle through his hair.
Okay so now that he had broken up with Marissa knowing she needed to heal on her own, but what about him? Ryan knew that he had to move on and that he needed to move on with his life without Marissa by his side, but how he was going to do that or what he was moving on to, he had no idea.
And that was surprisingly a good feeling for the most, in a way he felt free and relieved. But still he couldn't hide the fact that it was slightly frightening too. It was hard to let Marissa go. It was hard because letting go of Marissa meant that he had to let a small piece of him and an important period of his life go too.
It was hard and maybe a little harder than he had thought it would. Okay so it was a little harder to do than he expected, but still it was the right thing to do, he knew that.
It was time to just live a little and not try to be there for somebody all the time.
She was regretting not bringing her umbrella with her as she walked over to the pool house. The rain was whipping in her face and her hair was soaked. Her t-shirt tightened around her body and her jeans were now dark blue.
She stopped up for a second as she ran her hand through the wet dark hair and sighed. Was this really a good idea? Her eyes flickered in direction of the pool house as she made up her mind and decided to do it. After all she what did she have to loose? And it didn't really have to mean anything.
She took a deep breath and walked quickly to the door to the pool house and knocked.
The sudden knocking on the glass door to the pool house caught him off guard and he jumped off the bed, sure that Seth would walk in any second. But a moment passed but no Seth walked in and the knocking continued carefully. Ryan walked up to the door and opened it up too see a soaking Sadie.
