AN: Blame Crystal, la la la, Blame Crystal, la la la!

Disclaimer: I don't even like Legacy, never mind own them. No, seriously. What? Stop looking at me like that!



Randy frowned at the object in his hand, pressing the screen once again and sighing when once again, it did nothing in response. As far as he was concerned electronics were the devil, and he was pretty sure that they hated him as much as he hated them.

Teddy walked into the locker room, typing away on his Blackberry and completely ignoring Randy as per usual lately. Randy glanced at him hopefully, Teddy was great with electronics, surely he could make the stupid iPhone-Pod-whatever thing work.

Sure, Teddy hadn't been exactly friendly since the "Priceless Performance" incident, but that had been weeks ago! He couldn't still be mad about that, right?

Well, only one way to find out.

"Heeeey Teddy," Randy said in his sweetest voice, turning towards him. Teddy took his attention away from his phone long enough to glare at Randy, and flip him off.

Okay, so maybe he was still mad.

"Aww come on man, don't be like that! I need your help!" Randy whined.

Silence.

"Pleaaaase? Teddy? Sam got me this new phone and I can't figure the damn thing out to save my life, and if I don't call her soon she's going to end my life, and I don't even know if the things turned on!" Randy tried his best at sounding desperate.

To his surprise, a slow smile spread across Ted's face and he stood up, making his way to Randy.

"Lemme see," he said, putting a hand out. Randy gratefully handed the phone over and waited, thinking what a good guy Teddy was to help him after everything. Okay, so maybe the thing in the lobby was a little harsh, but damn .. it had been FU-NNY. He chuckled at the memory of it and Teddy smiled at him again, still messing with the phone.

A few minutes later, Teddy handed the phone back.

"There you go man, just hold that button and it'll turn on," Teddy said. Randy did as instructed and grinned when the screen lit up with the apple logo.

"Cool, thanks man!" He said, looking up as Ted rushed out of the room, giggling for no apparent reason. "Ok, see ya later .. freak," Randy mumbled, looking at his phone again just in time to see his screen filled with Chinese symbols .. and a half-naked picture of Beth Phoenix.

Teddy DiBiase was going to die.



"WHERE IS HE?" Randy demanded as he stormed into catering, making a bee-line for the first table.

"Who?" Cody Rhodes asked, blinking innocently.

"WHO? YOUR SOON TO BE DEAD TAG PARTNER, THAT'S WHO!" Across the table, Christian took in the scene bemusedly.

"So glad I came back .. you Legacy boys are fucking amusing," He said to no one in particular, shaking his head as he bit into his wrap.

"What'd he do?" Cody asked again, and Randy shoved his phone into Cody's face, practically hitting him in the nose with it. "DUDE! Why the hell is my girlfriend on your PHONE?"

"Because Cody, I have the hots for her," Randy said, and then smacked him on the back of the head. Cody immediately jumped up, balling his hands into fists, and just as fast Randy pushed him back down in his seat. "Sit down before you hurt yourself," He said. "DiBiase put it on there and changed it all to fucking Chinese or something!"

Cody laughed, glad it was Randy's phone and not his. The last time Teddy got his hands on Cody's phone, he programmed it to play "Sexy Boy" every 10 minutes, and it took Cody three days to figure out how to make it stop. Shawn Michaels still looked at him funny.

Christian shook his head, wiping his hands on his jeans before motioning for Randy to hand the phone over. Randy did, and Christian chuckled appreciatively at Teddy's handiwork before beginning to mess with it. A few minutes later he handed the phone back to Randy, who was relieved to see it was now in English with a plain black background.

"All fixed. Now you guys are even," Cody smiled at Randy.

"Yeah, we'll see," Randy said, exiting the room.


A few days later Sam was backstage with Randy, hanging out in his locker room as he prepared for his match. She sighed, bored, and rummaged in his gear bag until she found his phone.

"Hey babe I'm gonna check my email," she said, tapping on the web browser. Randy nodded, focusing on lacing up his boots until a hard thwap on the top of his head got his attention.

"Ow, what the?" He looked up to see his wife standing over him, holding his phone which he assumed was what she'd just hit him with, and looking severely pissed off.

"What the hell is this?" She demanded, shoving the phone in his face. The web browser had opened and a picture of a very naked woman in a very provocative pose was displayed on the screen, along with the words"WELCOME BACK LEGENDARY LOVER" blinking underneath three giant red x's.

Even? Not even close.

"Babe, I didn't, that's not, Teddy, he, and I .." Randy stammered, standing up. Sam just threw the phone down and turned around, moving towards the door.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN THE SITE I GO TO!" Randy yelled in protest as Sam slammed the door.

Teddy DiBiase. Was going. To Die.


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