AN

Thank you for everyone whose read as well as those that have reviewed! Project team beta's helped me out again with this one, so credit goes their way too!

As always, would love your feedback on the chapter :) xx


Chapter 4 - Pack Dynamics

It was late evening, and I was standing in the Uley's backyard with an untouched plate of food in one hand and a beer in the other. Embry was right next to me, quietly contemplating the latest development, while everyone else joined in dancing to the live band and celebrating Sam and Emily's marriage.

I rolled my eyes as Sam caught my attention for the umpteenth time and gave me a questioning look. Like each time before, I shook my head at him. There'd still been no word from Paul or Jake regarding Tristan. Not that any of us really expected to hear anything yet. He might not phase back for days.

Embry shifted slightly. "Do you think this will change Sam's pack dynamics?"

I raised my eyebrows curiously. "In what way?"

"Well, Tristan's older than all of them. He can hardly be called a "cub." So where will he rank?" Embry asked, sipping his own beer.

I shrugged. "I have no idea, but it's Sam's problem. It certainly seemed like Tristan couldn't hear Jake earlier, so our pack won't really be affected."

"I guess. It'll just be interesting to see how it all works out." Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he swung them around his finger. "I'm going to head off in a minute. Jen's finishing her shift soon, and I said I'd pick her up. Did you want a lift?"

"No, I'm okay, thanks. I'm not sure I've completed my bridesmaid duties yet." I tried to cover my yawn with hand but failed. I hadn't gotten much sleep lately with everything that was going on, and I was starting to lag.

Embry laughed, shaking his head. "What's left? You've done photos, heard speeches, seen Sam and Emily cut the cake and dance. You've even been patronised by your own relatives. If you want to go, I'd say you were done."

I snorted as I remembered Embry's face when several of my old aunts offered their sympathy and suggestions over mine and Sam's breakup and told me what a brave girl I was being here today. I knew he'd been waiting for me to explode, but I managed to contain myself, miraculously.

"Maybe, but I could do with the walk anyway." I nodded gratefully.

In truth, excluding my concern for Tristan and his unexpected phasing, the day hadn't been that bad. I wouldn't say that I enjoyed it, but Embry had been without his imprint for the night and kept me company. He was much like me in that he didn't like big crowds, so we'd stuck together. Fortunately for Quil, he'd been able to jump ship early and taken Claire home. Seth, meanwhile, was busy jumping around the dance floor like a giant, albeit amusing, ass.

"Cool, well, I'll see you on patrol then." He bumped my shoulder with his before he walked off to congratulate the bride and groom once more.

I couldn't help but smile a little at his casualness. When he came over to our pack, it hadn't been an easy transition. I'd been a major bitch to him in the past and he'd said some brutal things to me in return, but bridges had been built and Embry had turned out to be a pretty good friend.

It was strange to think that I now felt quietly comfortable around our small pack, but then I wasn't the same girl as I was three years ago and they weren't the same boys. Somewhere, somehow, we had turned into a unit, and I knew in my heart I would kill for each and every one of them.

I hung around restlessly for another ten minutes and people watched. Despite everything, Sam and Emily looked to be having fun, and the day hadn't been ruined. The newlyweds were currently wrapped around each other on the makeshift dance floor, laughing and talking. Eventually, I managed to catch Emily's eye and waved at her to show I was leaving. She tugged at Sam and pointed me out. They both came over, walking hand in hand.

"Are you really going? It's still early?" Emily stepped away from Sam and drew me into a gentle hug.

Her small frame against my taller, muscled one always made me feel unfeminine, even in the pretty dress I wore. "Yeah, sorry. I hope you don't mind," I offered, returning the gesture and hoping I didn't seem too desperate to leave.

Releasing me, she offered a sincere smile. "No, of course not. Thank you for everything. We'll catch up soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, when you get back from your honeymoon we'll meet up. Congratulations again." I turned away from her to be met by Sam's uncertain gaze. So much still hung between us, but I pushed past it.

"Congratulations to you too," I said and put my hand out for him to shake.

He smiled and gripped it softly. "Thanks, Leah." Glancing briefly at his wife, he dropped his voice low. "And thank you for taking care of things in the forest earlier. I could still do with touching base with Jake before we go on our honeymoon, though."

"You're welcome, and I'll let him know." I nodded, grateful he had shifted the moment towards pack business. Satisfied, he grumbled something about dancing with his aunt and left Emily and me alone.

Thankfully, Emily didn't keep me, and I finally managed to make a swift exit and started the walk home. I took my shoes off, no longer worried about my appearance, and went via the main road. I had no desire to cut through the forest tonight and run into any wolves.

After not too long, I reached my house. There was a flickering light in the living room window, which I recognized as the TV. It didn't worry me, though. The guys were always stopping by and letting themselves in with the spare key. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Sure enough, Jake was chilled out on my sofa watching a movie. He was wearing some of Seth's old clothes, which didn't really fit.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Make yourself at home, why don't you," I said sarcastically.

Ignoring my remark, he stretched, stood up and followed me into the kitchen.

I dumped my bag on the table, poured myself a glass of water and leaned against a counter. "Sam wants to see you before he leaves tomorrow. I figure he wants an update."

"Okay, I'll sort it." Jake nodded and looked bemused. "So ..."

"So ..." I mimicked.

He grinned, eyebrows raised. "You and Tristan, huh?"

I'd just taken a sip of my drink and choked. Jake made no sign of saving me from my coughing fit and simply sat there smiling widely.

Finally, I managed to speak. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jake merely snorted. "You fox, Leah. I didn't know you had it in you."

I felt myself blushing. This was one of the inevitable things I'd been dreading all day. "I thought you couldn't hear him earlier. He didn't respond to you." I tried to cover up my embarrassment with a scowl.

"He didn't. He's loyal to Sam, that's for sure. Paul may have let it slip during a rant while we were trying to show Tristan how to phase back. What I can't believe is that you both kept it a secret this long." Jake actually looked impressed.

I slumped down in a nearby chair, deflated. All of the respect I had managed to build up was about to turn to dust. The guys would make a big thing out of this just because it was me. I hated giving them any reason to mock me, and now they would all have perfectly embarrassing ammunition as well as front row seats should Tristan think about our encounters while phased. I put my head on the table and banged it a few times dramatically.

"I don't know why you're stressing," Jake said.

How my alpha managed to emit a constant level coolness was beyond me. I scowled at him. "Because this is a mess! No one was ever supposed to know, let alone see. Paul's such a dick."

"I think it's safe to say the guys were going to find out sooner or later. Besides, it's not as if you've never seen indecent stuff about any of them. They'll get over it."

"I know, but this is different. This is me," I snapped.

Jake just smiled again. The bastard was enjoying this.

In response, I just glared at him. "This is all your fault anyway. If you hadn't let the Cullens on to La Push land this wouldn't have happened. We're lucky Tristan was the only one. He was the only one, right?"

Jake's face paled as the truth in my words sunk in. "Yeah, just him. Look, about the Cullens, I am sorry. I thought that everyone on the res had been exposed to them already. I didn't think about outside guests."

"That's because you never think when it comes to the Cullens. It can't happen again. You can't risk exposing anyone else. It's not fair."

One look at his expression told me that he truly was sorry. Jake had a big heart, and that in itself was a problem.

"I know. I've already told them they can't pass the borders of our land anymore." He paused. "Even Nessie."

I offered him a half smile. The Nessie part was a big thing for him. "Thank you. And, since you're feeling so apologetic this evening, I'm also waiting for my apology. You do realise you're supposed to support your pack, not wait in their houses just to mock them."

Sensing I was teasing and not about to slaughter him, an amused returned to his face and he relaxed. "Well, I didn't come here just to mock you. I actually came here to give you a heads up as well. I just happen to find it interesting to watch you lose your cool for once, Beta."

"Gee, thanks," I grumbled. "So, then … how is he?"

"I'm not sure. How were any of us when we phased? Paul's working on getting him back to human, but so far, he's not budging. I guess it'll be down to Sam's pack to sort out. He'll be fine, though." Jake suddenly pulled out a chair and plonked himself across the table from me, looking like the cat that got the cream. "So then, are you two a thing?"

"Oh. My. God. No! There's nothing going on with us. I've met him three times, including today." I paused. "Does he know what I am yet?"

"Probably. Does it matter?" he asked.

I sighed, fidgeting restlessly. "Maybe. I don't know."

Jake grinned. "Wow. You actually like the guy, don't you?"

Without thinking, I threw a nearby tea towel at his head. "Will you stop enjoying this? I never said I liked him. We just hooked up twice."

"Sure, sure. Because Leah Clearwater sleeps with just anyone." Jake caught the tea towel easily enough and lobbed it back. "Anyway, since when has it bothered you what people think?"

"Just drop it, Jake," I pleaded.

"I don't get why you're so worked up. Tristan phasing could be a good thing." He shrugged.

"Oh, please! How could it be? We both know what this kind of life means. He'll have to give up everything in Seattle and come back here, at least until he's stable. His friends, his business, and the life he's worked so hard to build up will all have to be put on hold," I explained.

Jake frowned. "Leah, not everyone who phases thinks it's a bad thing."

"Yeah? Well seeing as you're imprinted, you would think that." I snorted.

Jake finally looked irritated by me. "Why does it always come back to this? You're obsessed with imprinting." Since being bound to Nessie, Jake hated hearing my opinions on imprinting. Especially when I reminded him of how fucked up it all was.

"I'm not obsessed. I'm realistic. Imprinting makes you all blissfully happy. You forget that life wasn't all candy coloured shit and rainbows before." I thought of Bella and how miserable he'd been.

"Well, maybe he'll imprint. All of the guys have. Then you won't have to worry." His sharp words were out, but his eyes softened as if he realized what he'd just said.

But, he was right. The chances of Tristan imprinting were extremely high. It was just typical of my fucked up life. Sure, I'd known from the start we never really had a chance, but any dreams I had that things might one day be different were now dead in the water. I'd done this dance before, and I wasn't doing it again. Not that it mattered. Soon enough, Tristan would know everything about me, including my jaded past. His opinion of me was sure to change.

I nodded at Jake in agreement as I realized I wanted to be alone. "I'm exhausted. Can we put this on hold until tomorrow?"

He chewed on his lip as a moment of silence hung between us. My alpha had a habit of seeing straight through my bravado. My eyes begged him silently not to call me on it this time.

"Sure." He shoved his chair back and headed to the back door. "I should go and see Nessie anyway. See you later, Leah."

I grunted in reply as he let himself out.


I woke up in bed to the sound of a loud bang. Without thinking, I found myself crouched on the floor in a defensive pose. It took me a second to realize I wasn't under attack and, as the banging continued, it became apparent that someone was pounding on my front door. I relaxed slightly and glanced at the clock. It was four a.m. Whoever it was had a death wish.

I quickly pulled my robe around me and crept down the stairs. The banging seemed to intensify the longer it went on, and I peeked out of the window to see who it was first.

"Paul," I grumbled to myself. This didn't bode well.

At the sound of me unlocking the door, his knocking stopped, but before I had a chance to open it he'd pushed his way into my house.

"What the hell, Paul? You can't just barge into people's homes. Do you even realize what time it is?" I shouted at him furiously. At the same time, tremors ran across my skin as my defensive instinct kicked in. Paul got my hackles up on a good day, let alone when he barged in uninvited.

He turned to face me and looked livid. "This is all your fault!"

"Excuse me?" I spluttered.

"You." He pointed, his finger coming an inch from my nose. "Out of the entire, fucking reservation! Unbelievable."

I slapped his hand away from my face, fighting the urge to rip him apart. Instead, I tried to focus on what was important. Paul was in my house. Why?

"Paul, what in God's name's your problem, and where's Tristan?"

Paul snorted. "He still hasn't phased back. That's why I'm here."

"And that means what exactly?" I was in no mood to play "work out what's up Paul's ass."

"I need ... I mean, Tristan needs your help." His shoulders sunk a little at the admittance. "He hasn't phased back, and I can't calm him down."

"And what makes you think I can?" I asked in disbelief. "You're his brother …"

"Trust me. You can," he snapped. "He saw you got hurt earlier and he can't stop focusing on it."

"Well, you can tell and show him that I'm fine. The rest is nothing to do with me. He'll phase back when he's ready." A huge part of me wanted to help Tristan, but after the conversation with Jake last night, my self-preservation wanted to put as much distance between us as possible.

"For fuck's sake, Leah! Just cut the crap. You think I want to be here asking for your help?" And, just like that, Paul's attitude was back in full swing.

"Well, when you put it like that ... go screw yourself, Lahote. Now get out."

I shoved him towards the door, but he gripped my wrist forcefully, pinning me in place.

"No. Not until you help my brother, or would you rather I call Sam and ruin his wedding night?"

I ripped my hand free, but he knew he'd won. On any other occasion, I'd have let him call Sam, but not on his and Emily's first night as a married couple. Even I wasn't that selfish. Paul crossed his arms smugly.

"You owe me," I said bitterly, heading for the front door.

"No. I don't," he spat as he followed me out.

Ignoring him, I bit my lip and made it to the tree line before phasing. Paul was only a second behind and joined me in wolf form. With a sharp nod, he took off towards the cliffs. I followed, easily keeping pace with him until he eventually slowed. He nodded in the direction of a clearing and went ahead. I decided to phase back as Tristan couldn't hear me anyway and, to be honest, I didn't want him to see me in wolf form yet, at least not with his own eyes. I pulled on the robe that I'd tied around my leg and moved forward quietly.

As I reached the edge of the undergrowth, I paused and watched a huge brown wolf pace anxiously across the ground. Keeping hidden, I took in everything about him. I'd been too shocked earlier to consider his wolf very much, but now that the shock had passed, I was in awe.

The color of his fur was far more than just brown. It was as rich as dark mahogany and looked smooth and inviting to stroke. Even more striking was the contrast of the color against his piercing green eyes. It didn't take a genius to know that he was well past the "cub" stage. Looking at his sheer size and muscled form, it was obvious. Granted, he wasn't as big Jake, but I was willing to bet he was equal to Sam and would easily tower above me. Christ, he made Paul look like a runt, and that was saying something.

Speaking of Paul, he approached his brother slowly. As he did, Tristan's eyes suddenly flickered from the ground to the area I was hiding and narrowed. He made a move towards me, but Paul blocked his path. Tristan was determined, though, and kept trying to get around him. Paul eventually huffed in frustration and then lifted his head towards me to come out.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped into view. Tristan's eyes immediately met mine, fixing me in place with an accusing stare. His expression was so intense that I felt like my insides were going to combust as heat flooded my body from head to toe. He knew everything, and he knew I'd lied about it all.

I reprimanded myself bitterly. What did I honestly think his reaction would be?

"I'm sorry, okay." I inwardly cringed at my voice, which came out bitter and harsh.

His ears pinned back flat and he cocked his head.

"This wolf thing," I clarified. "I couldn't have told you even if I'd wanted to." Hesitating, I took a breath and tried to remember why Paul had brought me here. "Anyway, look, I'm not hurt. We heal fast." I turned slowly on the spot for effect. "Now, I'm going to try and help you phase back. I know how confusing this all is, but listen to Paul. He can help too, but you've got to relax. The first time is always the hardest, but you'll be a pro in no time."

Tristan let out a disgruntled snort, but at least lay on the floor. As he rested his head on his paws, his eyes never left me. Gradually, he settled down and his breathing took up a steady rhythm.

"That's good." I smiled. I'd never really been a part of someone's first phase before and I only had my own experience to really draw from. All I knew was he needed to calm his mind. If he could do that, he'd feel the way to phase back.

To my surprise, Paul chose that moment to phase back instead. I tried my very hardest to ignore the fact he was naked. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "It's not going to work. His mind keeps getting stuck on silly things. Talk to him."

"About what?" I looked between Paul and his brother.

"He doesn't want you to see him like this. He thinks he's a monster," Paul clarified bitterly.

I glanced at Tristan, taken aback. It was unexpected, but I couldn't blame his reaction. We all had to deal with becoming a wolf in our own way. It changed everything you knew about the world and yourself. You were no longer just human. He was quite right to question if that made him a monster instead.

"Is that what you think about Paul and me? Because we're just like you." I knelt down before him, keeping my distance so as not to impose in his space. "Tristan, listen to me. You're not a monster. You're a guardian. There's so much history and information that you haven't been told yet, but I promise you there is nothing evil about what you are. You're still you, just a little bit bigger and hairier. You ..."

I was distracted by the sound of a phone ringing and turned to see Paul fumbling with the pouch around his leg. He pulled the cell phone out and looked sheepish. "I got to take this. It's Rachel."

I rolled my eyes in disbelief. It had to be five a.m. by now. Imprinting really did take over your life. I turned back to face Tristan and, realizing I was in for the long haul, made myself comfortable on the forest floor.

"Well, that's something you've got left to look forward to," I explained, gesturing to Paul with a roll of my eyes. Tristan just continued watching me in silence, but his ears pricked at the sound of my voice, so I continued. "I'm not sure if your brother's told you about imprinting yet." I started to pick at the leaves around me as I spoke. "It's difficult to really explain it properly, but the guys say it's a good thing."

Stopping myself short, I remembered I was supposed to be relaxing Tristan, not giving him an information overload. "Never mind, you'll find it all out soon enough and you'll be fine, better than fine. You've got a bigger support network than you can imagine. That's the point I'm trying to make."

I fell silent then and just sat watching him. Paul still hadn't come back, and the first glimpse of dawn was breaking through the trees around us. I found myself unsure of what else to say. If anything, I felt sad ... sad that this had happened, sad that I'd been right thinking a relationship between us was doomed, and sad that he would soon see all of the horrible things I'd said and done over the years. Selfish, wasn't I?

After a while, Tristan started crawling towards me cautiously on all fours. I looked at him in surprise as his nose stretched out towards my hand and nudged it gently. I couldn't help but smile at the gesture and stroked his soft muzzle in return. Eventually, he edged a little closer, before settling in front of me and resting his head on my lap. All the while, his emerald eyes watched me constantly. I'd never let any of the guys get close to me like this, in wolf form or human, but I didn't have the heart to push him away. Instead, I started stroking his head and whispering to him that it would all be okay.

We stayed like that for about five minutes, until his body started to tremor. At that point, I gently slid my legs out from under him, putting space between us as his body started to vibrate even harder. Seconds later, he phased back.

I immediately crawled back to help him. He lay on his front, face in the dirt, trying to find the strength to push himself up. As I moved, my eyes also searched the clearing for an offering of clothing, finally coming to rest on some shorts near where Paul had been. I was too worried about Tristan to be fazed by his nakedness, but was conscious he might be.

As I helped him into a sitting position against the nearest tree, he grunted and groaned, but he still hadn't spoken. Grabbing the shorts, I handed them to him. He held them tiredly across his dignity, appearing too weak to dress.

"Thanks." he eventually croaked as his head fell back against the tree. His eyes closed briefly as a final shudder ran through him.

Satisfied he was relatively okay, I stepped back to give him space and called for his brother. "Paul?"

He was back in a blink, his hand covering the mouthpiece of his mobile. At the sight of his brother human, his mouth dropped. He quickly uncovered the phone. "Rachel, we'll be home soon. He's phased back ... Love you too." With that, he hung up.

"I can't believe you did it." Paul stood there stunned, relief flashed across face before he regained himself. "Well, you can go now, Leah."

I opened my mouth to speak, but realized he was right. I had no reason to stay, so I nodded instead. This wasn't my pack or my responsibility, and we could now go our separate ways.

"Leah," Tristan hoarse voice called to me. "You don't have to go ..."

"Actually, I do. Paul will explain everything. I'm glad you're okay, though." I half smiled trying to reassure him, but I knew we wouldn't see each other for a while. The packs, although on good terms, still tended to keep to separate territories unless it was a social occasion. It was more an animal thing than anything personal.

"Leah ..." He cut off whatever he was going to say at the shake of my head. Sitting there, on the dirt floor of the forest, he looked disheartened and absolutely shattered.

I gave Paul one last glance, relieved to see that his usual glare had returned and we were back on familiar ground.

Taking that as my cue, I turned away from the Lahote brothers and started the jog home.


It was lunchtime when I woke and finally dragged my ass out of bed. I wasn't used to sleeping in so late and felt groggy, but after the events of yesterday, it was to be expected. I was due for my shift at the cafe in an hour so I threw myself in the shower and hurried to get ready.

By luck, I made it to work just in time for my shift. Unfortunately, I still hadn't had time to process the implications of Tristan phasing yet, and no matter how busy service was, I felt completely distracted.

I tried repeatedly to push him to the back of my mind, but it was impossible. The tired, disappointed expression on his face as I left him in the forest was on loop, and there was a constant ache throughout my body. My concentration was so bad at one point that I almost spilled coffee on a customer.

Fortunately, I managed to make it through the rest of my shift without any further incidents. By the time it ended, it was eight p.m. and, after clearing up, my boss paid me for the week and locked up after me. Wishing me a good night, he made his way over to his car, and I started the walk home down the old trail that led to La Push. For once, I was actually glad for the long trek, as I needed to expel some energy.

I hadn't gone far when I felt someone or something following me and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up in warning. I kept my pace up, pretending not to notice. I couldn't smell any leeches nearby, but my sense of smell wasn't as strong un-phased, so I was still on alert. After reaching a more secluded part of the trail, I decided to crouch down and pretend to retie my shoelaces. As soon as I stopped, I heard a twig snap to my left. I cocked my head in that direction and took a defensive pose, glaring at the undergrowth in front of me.

"Show yourself," I commanded angrily, ready to phase.

After a second, I heard a rustling sound and Tristan stepped out. I was taken aback to see him out here, especially alone. Even more disheartening, though, was the evident change in him. In less than twenty-four hours his body had filled out, he'd grown half a foot and he was wearing the signature cut off shorts and no top. I grimaced. He was a pack boy now.

Despite that knowledge, my breath still hitched at the sight of him. He was something special before, but now he was stunning. At the same time, I noticed a fresh tattoo on his arm. It had to be only a few hours old, but it was a beautifully intricate yellow rose. The meaning of it was completely lost on me, but against the deep color of his skin, it was impossible to miss it.

My admiration was short lived, though, as I finally met his eyes and something inside of me broke. He looked so very sad.

I slowly stood up, relaxing my stance as he approached cautiously. He stopped a few feet away and looked hesitant. I'd never seen this side of him and had only ever known him as confident. This quiet, uncertain man before me was someone else.

Finally, I broke the silence. "How are you?"

Tristan shrugged. "Confused. Annoyed. Tired."

"I guess that's to be expected." I nodded. That was actually a short list compared to how I felt after phasing for the first time. I sighed. "You shouldn't be out on your own, you know? Not this soon."

"You're here." A hint of a smile appeared on his face before being swallowed up again by his somber expression. "Doesn't that count?"

I shook my head. "I meant you should be with your pack. Why were you following me anyway?"

"I wanted to be near you, I guess. Paul told me where you worked." He moved a step closer. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything. Sam explained a lot of stuff to me this morning, but I can't say it makes much sense. This still feels like a dream, and you're the only one that makes me feel grounded right now."

It was ironic that I, one of the more volatile members of the packs, was his choice of company. I could almost feel his pain, though, and couldn't bring myself to turn him away or be a bitch to him. "Have you eaten?"

He shook his head.

"You need to keep your strength up. Your body's still adjusting. Come on, I'll make you something at my house." I gestured for him to keep pace with me and started walking.

I shouldn't have been surprised when he matched me stride for stride. As we followed the winding trail, silence fell between us. I had no idea what he was thinking. I could only imagine the things he'd heard already. Me, on the other hand, I was concerned about his choice to find me. I honestly didn't think I could bear to be Tristan's friend, knowing that he would inevitably imprint.

Eventually we reached my house, and I let us both in. Throwing my keys down on the hall table, I made my way into the kitchen and started rummaging in the fridge. Tristan stood in the doorway watching me silently.

"Is reheated lasagne, okay?" I asked.

He nodded. The silence was beginning to grate on my nerves. While I nuked the food in the microwave, I grabbed a beer and threw him it, speed testing. He caught it easily.

I was impressed. "Good reflexes."

"It still takes some getting used to." He was staring at his own hands in disbelief, before looking back at me. "I'm sorry if I seem out of it. There's so much to process. I just don't know what to do with myself. How did you manage?"

My whole body tensed. Maybe he didn't know the whole truth about me yetafter all. "I didn't." I snorted. "Not for a long time, but I was ... an anomaly. It'll be different for you. We know more about phasing now, and there's more support. Your pack will see you right."

The microwave pinged, and I turned my back on him to serve the food. I was surprised when he came up behind me and rested his hands on my hips. My whole body tensed at the contact and goose bumps erupted across my flesh.

Ever so slowly, he turned me to face him, his hands not leaving my sides. "That's the second time you've said 'my pack' as if we're enemies. I thought you all got along?"

There were inches between us, and I breathed him in, hating myself for enjoying the closeness. "We do, but we still have separate packs and patrols. It's complicated to explain."

He leaned into me further, lips close enough to taste. "Here I was hoping that maybe this wolf thing would bring us closer. Was that so wrong?" he whispered.

With a gulp, I slipped out from the between him and the counter and distanced myself. "Tristan, I like you. I really do, but this wolf thing doesn't change anything between us."

"Why not? You told me there were things about you that I would never understand, and now I do." he said, exasperated. "You just said it yourself, Leah. You like me. There's more to us than two quick fucks. At least there is to me." His body began to tremble, but he breathed deep and seemed to regain control relatively quickly.

I didn't know what to tell him so I remained silent.

"Tell me the truth. I need to know why not. If it's about the stupid shit I said yesterday at the wedding, then I'm genuinely sorry. I was being a dick." His voice was near to pleading.

I felt that same sorrowful ache building again. "Why is this so important to you? Out of everything you've found out in the last twenty-four hours, this is what matters?"

"Yes." He laughed bitterly and ran his hand through his short hair. "I need to know if ... You said something last night about imprinting as if you thought it was a bad thing. I just need to know what you meant. Have you imprinted?"

I couldn't help but snort in disgust. I didn't mean to, but he still had so much to learn. "If that's what you're worrying about, then no. Imprinting is for guys only."

"And you hate it?" His face was wary, as the question hung between us.

"Honestly? Yes." I nodded. "It's life destroying and soul sucking. The guys become slaves, bound by the needs of someone else, and worse, their hearts tell them to be happy about it. There's nothing real or honest about imprinting, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. Unfortunately, only the youngest guys have avoided it for now."

At my words he looked crestfallen. "Can it be broken?"

"No. That's why this thing between us can go no further. I'm sorry, Tristan, but the truth is you will imprint. Like I said last night, all of the guys think it's a good thing." I sighed and gestured to the door. "I'm sorry, I know I promised you food, but I think you should go. I shouldn't have even invited you back here."

"Leah ..." He sighed.

"Please." I looked at him, really looked at him. It hurt. Like my chest was cracking. "Don't make this harder on either of us."

Tristan nodded with a sense of finality and made his way to the back door. "I guess I'll see you around then, Leah."

"Yeah, I guess," I muttered, and with that, he unlocked the latch and disappeared into the night.