4
I changed out of my shirt, leaving it in a little pile on the floor with my pants. I'd have to ask Tsunade for a hamper, later. I thrust my hand under the water. Hot. Too hot. I jumped right in.
Steam over the curtain. My skin was pink, just from the water, but I scrubbed anyways and watched it turn, with morbid fascination, a lobster red.
I squeezed some shampoo onto my head, then some conditioner. Lathered the soap into a rag, scrubbed harder.
It was easier to forget here. So much easier to forget.
Someone banged on the door.
"I'll be out in a minute."
I dragged the washcloth under my arms.
Another bang.
I huffed. "Just a minute, I said."
Pissed off now, I took good extra five minutes toweling off, and another two getting dressed before I opened the door, biting back a smirk at the glower that greeted me. Sasuke motioned me forwards. In one hand, he carried a carton of cleaning products—Windex, all purpose, some type of toilet cleanser. With the other, he adjusted a pink plastic glove.
I suddenly felt like the biggest asshole for taking so long.
He was working, after all.
I slunk past him, careful not to bump into the cart. I moped in front of the TV a few hours before massaging my empty stomach. It was making all sorts of noises today. Sexy noises: Mewls, and moans, and curly-toed howls. Or maybe that was just me.
I sighed, finally getting off the couch after finishing a seventh episode of Once. The noises were starting to turn decidedly unsexy. Even I could make scrambled eggs.
Or so I thought.
Because in ten minutes my scrambled eggs were a charred lump of poop, the kitchen was in partial flames, and the fire alarm was making noises disturbingly like my stomach's.
WhooooOOoowhooooOOoo.
"The fuck!" A growl. "How even…?"
Sasuke had already grabbed his apron, beating out the flames. I kinda stood there like a deer in the headlights. Time was slowed down, and my mind kept going back to the last fire I'd caused.
I guess Sasuke noticed my crystallization, because next he was pinching me by the nape, dragging me behind him, where I then proceeded to throw up.
He got the flames under control in tops fifty seconds, but his eyes were murderous.
I looked at the kitchen. That 'polished' look was a little charred now, but didn't looked too bad. I was pretty sure my eggs, as well as an unfortunate roll of paper towels, were the only casualties (as well as a stain on the carpet we would never speak of again).
Still, I could have died. If Sasuke hadn't gotten there, Naruto would have been deep-fried Naruto. It was weird to think I'd had similar thoughts a few days ago, under much more dire circumstances.
Then again, this could have become one of those dire circumstances if Sasuke hadn't gotten there.
I looked at Sasuke. His apron was a bit fucked up, but other than that, he looked pretty composed. Not an askew hair in sight. My lips scrunched up, pretty sure I hadn't had the same luck.
Sasuke pushed against the wall with a sigh, heading upstairs; I rocked back and forth, barely noticing when he came back. He set his carton on the island, stretching the pink gloves over long, nimble fingers.
"Watcha doing?"
"Cleaning up your mess, dobe."
Before he could do that, Shizune barked, and then Tsunade was grappling me to the floor.
"My kitchen! My kitchen! What the hell did you do to my kitchen! Naruto!"
Perfect timing to come back from work, Tsunade.
I fingered the poop-egg. "All I wanted was some breakfast."
There was a deafening silence. I picked at my hair, adjusting my bangs so they covered my eyes. Tsunade clenched her purse, then dived for the sake that was inside it.
"BREAKFAST," Tsunade exploded. She eyed the carton of eggs near the stove, or what was left of it. The carton itself was charcoal black. Pretty sure that's not how she bought it. "Do you mean to tell me EGGS DESTROYED MY KITCHEN."
I eyed the poop-egg. "Yes."
She took a swig.
"Well," I scratched the back of my head. "At least nobody got hurt."
She slapped the back of my head, then ruffled the hair affectionately. "I suppose you're right, brat."
"Go take a shower," she said, still sitting on top of me. "You look like shit. Come back downstairs when you're done."
Two showers in less than twenty-four hours of each other—shit that was awesome.
I squirmed out from under her ass, climbing up the stairs.
The water was too hot. Just the way I liked it.
I scrubbed my arms, which were red (déjà vu, anyone?), but not from the water, but Tsunade's umm, disciplinary methods? If you could call sitting on a child a disciplinary method. A sooty puddle dribbled down the drain.
Creeeeakkkk.
"Is someone there?"
No one answered.
I soon forgot about it, continuing to rinse my hair. It wasn't until I turned off the water did I see the present Tsunade had left for me on the toilet seat.
A lacy apron. A cuffed, coy dress, that maybe ended mid-thigh. High knee stalkings. A pair of high-heals.
I almost laughed, remembering the days Jiraiya used to leave Tsunade's costume shit in my bathroom. Almost. It had kinda been mine and gramps thing. He only did if I'd done something particularly bad, and even then, not even meant as a punishment. More as a way to make me feel better. Tsunade had probably meant it in a similar fashion, but it had the opposite effect. It made everything hurt worse knowing Jiraiya wouldn't be there when I made my entrance. Plus, I wasn't comfortable wearing a cosplay maid outfit in front of a very real maid downstairs.
I wrapped a towel around my midsection, tried the counter for my extra pair of clothes. Nada. I wrung open the door, zipping to the extra room on the—left was it?—that I was staying in.
The room was dry. A white bedding, a simple view from the window. The dresser was even blander, with no pictures leaning against it, or stickers, or any nicks of the sort to indicate use. I'd left my clothes in my suitcase until I could roughen it up a bit.
So, to the suitcase I went. It was already open, though. And nothing was in it. Should have expected that. Those were the rules Jiraiya had played by back then, as well.
"Tsunade, where the hell did you put all my clothes!"
"I thought I left a perfectly legitimate outfit in the restroom."
I stomped down the stairs, a playful scowl on my face. Thump, thump, thump. "I wouldn't call that old cosplay costume an outfit. Who knows what kinky shit you did in that thing."
She looked up from this mysteriously chunky (if you catch my dirft) shit she'd been cleaning up off the floor, her eyes narrowed into playful slits. "I wouldn't piss me off, brat. I got your clothes in the safe, and you won't get to wear them at school if you don't get your ass down here in five minutes with that dress on."
But I wasn't listening after 'safe.' I was freaking out because holy fuck, did Tsunade have the most impressive, fingerprint safe that had ever been seen on God's green earth. She'd spent an absolute fortune on it. Didn't quite know what she used it for, but I was guessing it wasn't knapsacks and dollies. Shitshitshit. I wasn't very worried about school (she'd never do that to me, even if she was a sadistic bitch). But Sasuke was still there, and he'd perked from his counter at the words 'kinky', 'maid', and 'shit.' His expression hadn't changed, but I couldn't shake the suspicion he was amused.
Then another word caught my attention. "What do you mean school?"
"I meant what I said. School."
"I'm going to school?"
"You didn't honestly think you didn't have to go to school while you were here, did you?" She laughed. A crinkle formed behind my brows. Her eyes widened. "Naruto, of course you have to go to school!"
"But, but I just thought, since I'm only gonna be here a couple weeks, I can make it up at—"
She suddenly became confused. "You call a year a couple weeks?"
"Wha-what?"
My knees began to shake.
Her eyes widened in horror. "Didn't Minato tell you?"
I didn't answer. It felt like all the breath had left my lungs.
"That stupid son of a bitch…" She murmured. "I'll call him right now. There must have been some misunderstanding." She pulled out her phone, but before she could dial the number, she met my eyes. She had bags underneath them. She looked so exhausted, and it was all my fault. "You help Sasuke clean up. He does a lot around the here. He could use an extra set of hands, especially with you just about burning down the house." Her tone was light, teasing. Fake. She abandoned the spot on the floor in favor for moving into a different room.
For once, I didn't know what to say.
A year. A whole year.
I made my way down the stairs.
I shouldn't have been so surprised. I'd left my mom with a million broken bones, a broken face, arteries that were popping out of her skin.
I shouldn't have been surprised.
Sasuke handed me a sponge. He didn't ask any questions. Didn't even raise an eyebrow when I came over to him half naked, asking what he needed help with: The Floor, for starters.
Then again, he'd probably heard enough of the exchange to know not to ask.
Every now and again, the towel would drift away from my thigh. I was scrubbing the floor now, trying to get the poop-egg to loosen its grip on the tile. Bleach. Scrub. Repeat.
A whole year.
How was I going to survive here a whole year? Already on my second day, I'd almost burned down the house. Sure, I was used to that shit (let's just say I wasn't the easiest person to live with), but Tsunade? She wasn't gonna last a week.
I glanced at Sasuke. He was working pretty hard on the cabinets now. They were charred, but not unfixable. His mouth was taught. His fingers pinching the sponge like a claw. Even with pink gloves, he looked pretty damn intimidating. He blushed a little.
"Dude, your dick's hanging out."
I covered myself, my face turning red. "Is not."
"I'm pretty sure I saw a dick."
My face was on fire. So on fire, that I thought it would resemble poop-egg in just a minute if I didn't do something about it.
"I'm just gonna—"
I left.
Up the stairs, into my room. Breath in. So embarrassing. I felt my cheeks. So warm. Breath out. I must have stayed in my room like that for thirty minutes. Breath in. Breath out. A whole year. Gosh, I couldn't look at that idiot another second and I was expected to see for a whole fucking year. I bit my lip. Not so fast, Naruto. It could have been a misunderstanding. Don't torture yourself like that.
"Brat! I thought I told you to help Sasuke!"
And I was making Tsunade so unhappy, too. She'd just wanted to poke some fun at me, maybe lighten the mood. I'd wrecked her kitchen and she was trying to make me feel better. Was that twisted or what?
"Naruto!"
Making a quick decision, I grabbed the uniform. Discarded the heels, but upon consideration, put on the stalkings. They'd hide more skin. The black thong, unfortunately, was a must. Sasuke wouldn't be having any close encounters with my dick anytime soon.
With the dress finally on, I plastered on a smile. I didn't bother with a mirror before I took off towards the kitchen.
When I saw Tsunade, scowl in place, I made a pose. "How do I look?" I asked.
The bastard looked me up and down, then smirked. "You make a pretty shitty maid."
I glared. "Not as shitty as some people I know."
Scowl.
This is what I'd been so scared of?
It was so worth it to see that smile sparkle on her face. It was such a rare smile for Tsunade. The most precious. While she howled with laughter, I started working on my poop-egg. I was becoming quite fond of it, to be honest.
"I didn't think you'd actually put it on," she said after we'd gotten the kitchen looking semi-presentable. There was chuckle in her voice that there hadn't been earlier. "But I'm glad you did. Felt like old times."
It was like a punch to the stomach. "Old times indeed."
"I do want you helping Sasuke while you're here, though," she paused. "Not as punishment or anything, just as something to keep you preoccupied during your stay here. I talked to Minato about it. He thought it was a good idea."
A little displeased frown on Sasuke's part.
I ignored him, laughing. "I have needed a little preoccupying lately, I guess." If it makes her less worried…
That frown was definitely a lot more prominent.
"So it's settled then." She stood up, adjusting her skirt. "Well, I'm off to bed. Drive home safely, Sasuke." She handed him a good seventy bucks.
He bowed. Closed the door behind him.
I almost didn't want to ask. "So what did my dad say, about…" I tugged at the hem of my skirt.
With her back still turned to me, she said:
"I'm sorry, Naruto."
And suddenly, I didn't want to know anymore.
A/N
Chapters will only get longer from here *thumbs up* I'm thinking of combining chapter 2/3 with an additional dream scene. It won't be necessary to read for the plot, but it might be nice for new readers. Tell me your thoughts! :)
Thank you MY BESTIE for BETA-ING *luvs* *kisses*
