Chapter Four
Res Romana
"Ancient Rome!"
The Doctor threw open the TARDIS doors to display... a forest. A dark, creepy-looking forest with no sign of Rome.
The Doctor's companions all gave him a glare. "This," Rose said slowly, as if the Doctor was a small child, "is not Rome."
"Well..." the Doctor glanced around. "It could be Rome." he then tried to walk outside and then stepped in some sort of puddle, which splashed into his face and turned purple. He wiped it off and then paused. "Still could be Rome."
A huge orange dragonfly- about as long as the Police sign on the TARDIS- flew past them.
"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Rose." Candace stepped out onto the planet's surface, watching her step carefully. "Not Rome."
"They had dragonflies in Rome." the Time Lord mumbled.
"You did set the TARDIS to Ancient Rome, didn't you?" Rose raised an eyebrow.
"Yes. Well, ish."
"Doctor."
"Okay, I asked her to go somewhere reminiscent of Ancient Rome. If you're too strict with her she gets all rebellious."
"See, Ferb, the Awesome Box is alive." Phineas smirked.
"Yes, yes she is." the Doctor nodded, closing the door.
"So, what planet would this be?" Rose inquired, wandering towards the trees and keeping away from the mud puddles. "Seems like the future, am I right, Doctor?"
The Doctor checked his watch. "5154." he nodded. "Not-Earth."
"Sweet!" Phineas high-fived Ferb. "Future planet on our first trip!"
"Maybe it's that New Roman Empire you told me about our first trip." Rose suggested.
"Nah, America has taken them over by now. Now you see, they lasted about ten years before they split. Not exactly the most orderly empire."
"Not sure if that's a compliment or not for our home country." Phineas stated.
"Depends on- oh, hello."
The Doctor stopped midsentance due to the fact the five of them were immediately surrounded by very humanoid-looking planet inhabitants. The people didn't look remotely alien- though their clothes were tattered and dirty, they were wearing normal clothes, or at least normal for the 21st century. And the guns they pointed at them were definitely high-tech human.
All five of the new arrivals threw their arms up.
"Don't shoot!" the Doctor called. "We're unarmed, see?"
The humans came out slowly, fear in their eyes, not lowering their guns. In total, there were about five of them. Upon close inspection, the Doctor realized that their eyes were all round and the same shade of brown, and they all appeared to be pretty starved.
"Yes, keep the guns up. Shoot the innocent children, wonderful plan!" Candace yelled. One of the people, a girl with messy auburn hair, swung her gun at her. The girl had to be no older than Rose, and seemed about to topple over any minute.
"I think we've gotten off on the wrong foot." Phineas intoned.
"Ya think?" his sister retorted hotly.
"Well, this is our first time out of our pla- well, that's not true." Phineas thought for a second. "Well, anyway, we've just got a bit lost, so if you could point us to Rome..."
"Rome?" the tallest of the men there asked. "What d'ya need Rome for?"
"Oi! Listen to the kid!" Rose yelled, startling the inhabitants. "We're lost and need to get to Rome!"
This drew the soldiers' attention. They stared at Rose for a good long while, then let the guns clatter to the floor. "You." one of the men pointed.
"Hello." Rose waved in an annoyed but cautious fashion. "I'm the Captain of the... The Enterprise. And we'd like to know where we are, isn't that right, Doctor... McCoy?"
"McCoy?" the Doctor looked thoroughly offended.
"You do not need to look for Rome." The tall male, obviously the leader of the group, announced. "This is the planet Rome."
"Fantastic." Rose nodded. "If you could just take us to your city..."
"Come with us." the man said. Rose smirked and followed the group, bouncing along. The Doctor followed way more sulkily, while Phineas grabbed Ferb's hand and ran off to catch up with Rose. Candace was the only one who noticed two of the Romans coming up behind them, guns still in hand, to block any sort of escape.
"We were sent here to study the planet's wildlife." the leader, Galen, explained to Rose, almost as if he was reciting something from a textbook. "Just for a week or so. But the ship crashed and so did our communicators. We ended up stuck here."
"How long have you been here?" Rose inquired, jumping over a root and giggling when the Doctor tripped over it.
The man gazed into the distance, as if trying to remember. "Three years." he said uncertainly and confusedly. "We've encountered native Romans and have begun trading with them. Only until the rescue ship comes, of course."
"Well, your rescue ship is us, now." Rose grinned. "Our spaceship can fit hundreds of people in it."
"That won't be a problem then. There are only twenty-eight of us."
The group then entered the makeshift village. The scientists Galen had mentioned were huddled in the center of town. Children's drawings of creatures none of the humans recognized littered the ground, and a doll lay outside a tent. All this gave the place an eerie, abandoned feeling.
And it didn't help that they were all staring, unblinkingly, at Rose.
Rose seemed unaware of the attention. "Right. I'm Captain Rose T. Kirk, and I will be your rescue ship. Just... give us a day or two, cause I'm sure these kids over here will want to poke around a bit. Is that right, kids?"
Candace, Phineas and Ferb eagerly nodded. The Doctor started to sulk when he realized that Rose was addressing him as well.
There was an awkward silence. Suddenly, one of the women came forward. "You are like us." she said almost stupidly, pointing to Rose.
"Yes. We're human. From Earth. Hello." Rose waved, but the girl looked a little confused. She cocked her head to the side.
"You are like us." she repeated.
"That's enough of that." the Doctor announced, obviously not liking all the attention Rose was drawing. "I'm the Doctor, and these are Phineas, Ferb and Candace. How about Rose, Phineas and I go check out your little camp, while Candace and Ferb go make sure our ship is parked properly?"
"How the heck do we do that?" Candace asked, crossing her arms.
The Doctor tossed a key at them, and Ferb caught it. "TARDIS key." He explained. "I'll give you all your own after this adventure. Come back with bananas."
Candace mumbled something and walked off, Ferb following close behind her.
"You sure we should split up?" Rose inquired.
"We need to make sure the TARDIS won't drift off to New Zealand or something." The Doctor replied. "Then we'd be stuck with the big-eye colony."
As they walked off, following a couple of scientists, Phineas tugged on the Doctor's sleeve. "Doctor?"
"Hmm?"
"There are kids' toys and drawings everywhere."
"Yeah?"
"So where are the kids?"
