A/N: I was talking to my husband trying to get some ideas on how our pair could reunite, this was his suggestion: "I say that they go to the local starbucks and happen to run into each other while she is ordering her grande half-caf mocha, it is very important that she orders it half-caf"
What can I say, he is my Muse.
Laurie sat on the edge of his bed with the envelope in hand. He cursed each of these letters as they arrived, but could not bear the thought of parting with them. Despite the fact that his heart had never healed, receiving a letter from Jo made the pain refresh. As they came, he wondered what she could possibly have to tell him that she had not made crystal clear in the grove. Laurie sighed and rubbed his face as if the simple action could erase those memories. He was certain that this letter was to tell him of Beth, to tell him in her words. He broke the seal and with a strong resolve, began to read.
Teddy,
Just the sight of his name in her pen was enough to undo him.
Beth is gone, she is gone and I do not know quite what to do with myself. I am lost. I feel lost to the world and more than anything, lost to you. I need you to help me through this. I know that I will never make it alone. Oh, Teddy, why does this hurt so very badly?
I saw Grandfather today, he did not know when you would come home. I am so sorry for any pain that I have caused, I wish more than anything to take it back, to take it all back. I pray to God for a chance. I have ruined everything and it has only served to leave me friendless and utterly alone.
Teddy, how could God have taken little Beth from me? Didn't He know that I needed her? She was my comfort, my strength – both of which seem to have left with her. I must leave this place, Teddy, now that everything I love is gone. I am praying that this letter reaches you. I need you to read this. I need you to come home. I understand why you did not respond to the others, but please.
It is not my intention to pester you; this letter will be the last that I will send.
Jo
Please come home to me
Laurie's hands were shaking and tears threatened to spill over his lids. Why did I not read this earlier? "Selfish brute" He said aloud to the empty room. He read and reread the letter, tearing it to pieces, trying to make it more, trying to make it her. "Please come home to me," he read aloud. Oh Jo, if it were only so easy. All of the sudden he was with her in the grove. He normally suppressed the urge to go back there, but he allowed his mind to wander. Oh how he still loved her.
Could he set his pain aside to comfort her? Laurie knew how Jo loved Beth, he could not imagine how she may be suffering. Though ashamed to admit it, he did not know if he could withstand returning to be Jo's comfort and receive nothing in return. The comfort that he longed for would be a refreshed need that would never be met. There was hope in the letter, though he was assured that he was deluding himself. "She prays for a chance to take it all back," he once again spoke to the walls. Could she have been as tortured as I have these past years? Did she truly regret- Impossible. He could not help but think that if she had come with him, that they could bear this together. His breast could have received the tears that smeared the words of Jo's last letter. This train of thought was taking him nowhere. He must decide his next move. She wrote of leaving, will I be too late?
…
There were days in which Jo found herself at peace, not content, certainly not happy. Though she had fleeting moments of happiness, darkness always prevailed. She thought that leaving Orchard House, wrenching herself from Concord, would dilute the memories that devoured her soul. Jo could not have been more wrong. She was certain that she could never feel at home anywhere again, never feel the joy that she knew two years since. Jo was a lost being, thrown overboard, cast away, partially by her own doing. She felt a need to attach her life somewhere, to something.
Writing consumed Jo much differently than it once had. It was as if there was something within screaming to be released, it was liberated only through her pen. She wrote well and what she wrote began to sell. Her stories were bursting with darkness, sensational pieces that could only have been conjured up by a tortured soul. In the short month that she had resided in New York, Jo, or Joe rather, had Published four stories in the Gazette, a local reader's periodical. She was so well reviewed that her editor wished to give her a permanent weekly spot if she could keep up with the demand. Paul Bernard, her editor, had still yet to meet Joe March and Jo saw no reason to change that.
In less than a month's time Jo had earned 8 month's worth of governess salary. Knowing that she should be exhilarated by this truth, her emotions somehow fell short. She had always wished for this, she had told Beth that one day they would live together, supported only by Jo's pen. It had been three months; Jo knew that this, her wish, would never come to be.
The success that she was receiving was bitter-sweet. Nothing in Jo's life changed. No one knew that was being published, save Friedrich. Jo and Friedrich had become somewhat estranged. Jo had immense pride and though there was truth in his words, Friedrich's criticism was too much for her to forgive at the moment. They saw one another in the hall and exchanged pleasantries, however, Jo had turned her heart, and any door that may have been slightly cracked was since slammed shut.
In the afternoons, after the girls had finished their lessons and Jo was free to do as she pleased, she sat at her little desk in her little room with her one true friend, her pen.
…
After a pain-filled sleepless night, Laurie grudgingly pulled himself out of bed. Despite his lack of sleep he still knew not what to do. He heard his grandfather below in the dining room and felt it best to bring several questions to the dear man. As Laurie approached, James Laurence could not help but to notice the darkness that shadowed his grandson's eyes. There was a bit of guilt and sorrow felt by the elder gentlemen, however he knew it best not to leave the boy ignorant.
"Good morning grandfather, I trust that you have slept well." Laurie stated as much as asked.
"Very well, my boy, I would have hoped the same for you, however your eyes tell a different story." He said with a look of concern.
"Never mind that, I am afraid that I left so hastily last night that I may not have heard the full story. The shock of the news was a bit much to take in all at once." Laurie paused, "What of Jo, do you know anything of her well-being, have you spoken to her?" Laurie knew well that they had spoken, as Jo had mentioned it in her letter.
"Have a seat with me if you will," James Laurence began. "You know that I would never wish to give you news that would harm you, and I care for the March family as if they were my own. I attended the dear one's funeral, it was not well attended simply family and myself, Amy was unable to return. I had never seen Jo quite so, it was as if all life had been drawn out of her. The loss appeared too much for the girl to handle."
Laurie felt a sadness build within himself. When his grandfather paused, Laurie simply looked up at him and waited.
"Two days had passed since the funeral and I was notified of a visitor in my study. To my surprise, it was Jo, I certainly had not expected her, but she was welcome just the same. She sat before me and before she could say anything, she began to sob. I tried to comfort her, however, she did not wish for consoling and all that she would accept was a handkerchief.
"I asked what I could do, if there was anything that she or her family needed. She shook off the suggestion for help and simply asked if I knew when you were to return. I certainly did not know, as you seemed to have no intention of concluding your sabbatical. She asked that I let you know when you did return to please call for her as she needed you. After that, she simply arose, kissed my cheek and retired home." James had completed his narrative and awaited a response.
"That was all that there was to the visit? She needed me to call on her if I were to return? Have you seen her since?" Laurie asked, attempting to remain calm, oh the power that this girl had over him.
"I saw her out of doors a few times over the following few weeks, however, within the past two months I have not seen her at all." The grandfather thought over this, just now realizing that it was odd. The March girls were frequently outside and he had not seen Jo in what seemed like ages.
"She wrote a letter." Laurie began his confession, "She wrote it three months ago. I only read it last night." He hung his head, ashamed, cursing himself for not reading it sooner, not being there in her time of need.
"One could hardly blame you for not wishing to revisit the past, the question is, how do we proceed to the future?" If Laurie could answer this question, he would.
"She wrote of leaving, I know not where. Perhaps that is why you have not seen her." Laurie looked his grandfather in the eyes, his own look reflecting that of great need. "When you return to Concord, would you call on the Marches and inquire as to her whereabouts?" Laurie asked.
"I would be glad to. I will happily do anything that will help you or anything that would help Jo. Perhaps this will aid in you mending each other." Mister Laurence said hopefully.
"Some things can never be mended." Laurie stood after the abrupt statement, swallowed the last of his tea and left the house.
A/N: Ok, Ok, I am starting to like my story, especially now that I have a better idea of where I am taking it. If have a moment, please let me know what you think.
