OMG! I am sooooooo sorry for such a long update! I couldn't figure out how to do a few parts of this chapter and had to assign them to my co-writers, and they're lazy! I'm very very very sorry! I swear I'll get 5 up faster, really!
Disclaimer: Me owns NOTHING I give the idea for the "Bad Day Note" to the badassnotebooks, look them up on youtube, they're great!
Warning: MASSIVE sillyness, druggedness, and a kiss scene! yay!
Death Note, Drugs, and Car Chases Oh My!
Chapter 4: Fear and brownies in Las Vegas Part 2
It was about three in the morning, and our heroes were only just returning to their hotel suite. When they walked in the door, there sat a huge tray of brownies, which L and Mello immediately pounced. As usual with such things, L tried to get Light to eat some. As usual, he had no luck.
The only problem was L wasn't taking no for an answer this time. These brownies were really good, even the apple addicted Shinigami and the carb counting model were devouring them, and damn it, Light would too!
"Light-Kun, please?" L whimpered, putting on his best puppy-dog face.
"No, L! I'm not eating the damn brownie! Who knows what those two lunatics did to them!"
"Eat it!" L insisted, shoving it closer to Light's face.
"No!"
"Eat it or I'll sit on you!"
"… fine…" and with that, Light ate the special brownie, and liked it. So he ate lots and lots more.
pretty soon, they were all gloriously stoned, and some strange things began to happen…
Everyone was… happy, for lack of a better word. For once even the spazzy Misa was quiet and calm.
"L, I think we've been…"
"Drugged, Lighty Whitey? Yes…" L interrupted and burst into hysterical laughter, along with everyone else. Several cackles of "Drugged, lol" filled the room, as everyone decided together without really speaking to pillage the unsuspecting city of Las Vegas.
"I…I can't get off! I'm going to die here! With… with clowns Light-chan!! With …clowns? Why… negh…" L wobbled around the spinning carousel bar, while a hysterical Light was doubled over on the ground next to it, not even clear headed enough to help his clowny-death-fearing friend.
Fortunately for everyone involved, a more drug experienced and much more clear headed Mello strolled up to assist his spinning friend.
"Oh my freaking god, L…" Mello chuckled, " just… just keep walking forward, and even though the ground out here isn't moving… clowns, heh… just, just step on it, ok? Heh, step on it… vroom vroom!" Mello giggled hysterically.
"But… but I'll fall! And the carpet… the carpet will scratch my face… like mom's cat when I was two… the carpet HAS the cat on it… no I think I'll die with the clowns… and the lady whose paid to do that stuff to the polar bear…" L whimpered from where he was sprawled between two bar stools like a spider frightened of water. Meanwhile Near, Matt, Misa, Rem, Ryuk and Mello burned themselves repeatedly by touching the white hot twinkling lights that were "so freaking pretty" while Light continued to cackle on the floor at his panda-like buddy's expense.
Light held L up as they stumbled up the stairs, while everyone else, plagued with the munchies, were devouring the contents of the cafeteria.
Once the giggly pair stumbled into their apartment, Light somehow maneuvered his way up the stair things into their bedroom, but L was not so lucky. the detective tripped over the top step, and flew across the room failing his arms about like duck wings.
As L flailed, Light was sprawled on the bed cackling so hard he didn't even notice L climb into the bed, crying, and flop down on top of him.
"Light-chan… I'm so sorry!" L screamed.
"It's ok Panda-chan!! I LOOOOOVVVEEE you!" Light sat up and nuzzled into L's shirt.
L looked up, tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry… I know you hate ducks… and I… I flailed like a duck I'm so sorry!!" L clutched Light's shirt, and sobbed into the crook of his neck.
"Hey… hey don't cry, it's ok. you wanna know a secret?" Light whispered.
"Ye…Yeah." L sniffled.
"Well, You're the ONLY duck I like," Light whispered, looking around to see if anyone was listening.
"Like that blonde duck… the one that wears the mini skirts… I don't like that duck… she's mean… she won't let me feed her bread crumbs!"
L looked up, astonished that any duck would not let Light feed them bread crumbs.
Light laughed at L's tear stained face, and took the opportunity to close the space between them.
L gasped at Light's tongue trailing the sensitive flesh of his lower lip, begging for entrance. He quickly complied, and entangling his own tongue with the invader.
He tastes sweet… like candy… Light thought drunkenly.
L moaned despite himself, and Light grinned triumphantly into the kiss and pulled away for air, to be greeted by an angry panda when he opened his eyes.
"What Panda-Chan? didn't you like it?" Light whimpered.
"You stopped." L hissed in such a tone, you'd think that Light had just committed all seven of the cardinal sins whilst standing on his head, and kicking the detective in the face repeatedly. I'm sure that seems a funny picture, but sinful L kicking head stands are no laughing matter. L had taken peoples' cake for less. "I'm sorry!" Light squeaked in terror, and pounced the unsuspecting panda.
Much kissing, groping, and biting later, L had managed to turn the tables and get atop the teen through use of a mixture of martial arts and mind games. Just as L began to go for Light's pants, the later began attempting to wriggle away in the direction of the kitchenette.
"Where do you think you're going?" L purred.
"Want… more… brownies!" Light barely managed to say between sloppy kisses.
"We ate them all, Light-Chan." L's words brought Light to the brink of tears, and the detective immediately leapt to his feet and began riffling through Duke and Gonzo's stuff, trying to find more brownie mix. After a good ten minutes, L finally opened the right bag, and there lay the brownie mix, along with a bottle marked "'Vegetable' Oil."Having hopped like a bunny to the scene, Light peered over L's shoulder and asked in an aggravated tone why the word Vegetable was in those quotey thingys like that. L simply shrugged and climbed on Light's back, who then walked on all fours over to the stove with L crouched on top of him like some strange king. Of course, sitting in such a position made for rather bad balance when riding a top a Light, thus he fell off.
Instead of flailing about like a duck and thus having a chance of causing Light to hate him, L let himself fall. Which resulted in him being in the exactly same position he was in moments ago, just on his side. It was rather cute.After a brief pause in their quest for Light to laugh uncontrollably at has foolishness, they began the epic journey around the kitchen no larger than a computer desk for: A MIXING BOWL!!
"Where'd that lightning and dramatic background music come from?" Light asked.
"I don't know… if I didn't know better I'd say those blasted fairies were at it again."
"I don't like them."
"Me neither, they made me wear a dress."
"You totally pulled it off!"
"You're just saying that!"
"No, really! That shade of pink went well with your complexion!"
"Aww, that you Li--" L was unable to finish his sentence, for duct tape had appeared over both their mouths.
"Alright, I'm sorry you guys but that conversation was getting excessively gay." said Crowtar from her perch on one of L's hair spikes.
"Yea, we were getting gaydiation complaints from my brother. Do you realize how bad it must have been if one whose entire life is one large derogatory remark was complaining about too much gay?" Poque said from L's left shoulder.
"Really… really bad!" grunted Stiney as she attempted to climb out of the slippery sink.
"Why are you in the sink?" L asked.
"More important question! Why will none of you guys land on me?" Light pouted.
"Cuz … we just can!" Crowtar stammered as Poque helped Stiney remove herself from the drain.
"Anyway, we have come to warn you! One more conversation that flaming and I'll turn you both into girls for a week!" Poque threatened.
"Ugly girls!" Stiney added.
"With freakin' huge tits so when I magic you into random different outfits they rip open and people laugh at you!" Crowtar finished. This last sentiment horrified the pair, and they pledged never to speak of dresses and things complementing complexions ever again.
With that the terrible trio poofed away and left our heroes to their own disturbing mental images.
"We never speak of that again?"
"Agreed."
"Brownie time?"
"Agreed."
A few minutes and much brownie induced chaos later, it came time to add the "Vegetable" Oil to the mixing bowl.
"Alright, the directions say to but in half a cup of that stuff." Light said, gesturing towards the bottle and tossing a very large glass at L.
"I don't think this is what it means, Light-Chan." said L as he eyed the glass.
"Just do it! this place doesn't have a measuring cup!"
"But…"
"Fine, then I'll do it!" Light announced as he snatched the bottle from L's hands and poured it directly into the bowl. "There, that should do it!"
"Light-Chan! that was almost half of the entire bottle, let alone a cup!"
"… well if a little makes them good, then a lot should make them great, right?" In the state he was currently in, L could not dispute such logic, so he simply shrugged and began mixing their concoction together. A few minutes later, as the brownies were baking, the two were sprawled out on the floor, covered in eggs and brownie mix, licking the bowl. That's when Duke, Gonzo, and all the rest walked in.Gonzo's immediate reaction was that they had seen the contents of their bags, and must therefore die.
Luckily, duke decided to take a more diplomatic approach. "You used almost the entire bottle you great wart hog faced buffoons!" he shrieked and grabbed the fronts of their shirts, dragging them up off the floor. "You're not ready for brownies that strong! We have to run before the lizards come for you!"
"Dude, chilax!" Light said, already higher than a kite just from licking the bowl. "Them lizards ain't gonna come for us! I have this!" he continued and held up on of the death notes with the word "Death" covered up with a piece of paper that said "Bad Day."
"Light-KUUUUUUUN! Why did you show that to Ryuzaki?!" Misa whined while the two Shinigami cracked up.
That's when the oven announced that the brownies of impending doom were ready, and the mass-murder and the panda began scrambling to their feet. Well, less to their feet, and more flopping about hopelessly in a general direction of the oven. Once they got there, they realized they needed oven mitts.
"Why didn't you bring em?" Light asked.
"Because when you were slapping me with them I threw them across the room."
"Oh yea! Why'd you do that? It was depressing. I had nothing to hit you with then."
"They had flamingoes on them. I had a traumatizing episode involving flamingoes once when visiting the zoo."
"Awww, poor Panda-Chan!" Light squealed, then hugged said panda and flopped back across the room to retrieve the mitts. As he was reaching into the oven, Mello stepped in so as not to burn the place down, as Light doubtlessly could in such a state.
"But I wanna do it!" Light whined.
"No you great Kiraly idiot! They're mine now!" barked the blond. Before Light could dive for the newly renamed Bad Day Note, Mello already had the brownies out of the oven and had begun the cut them.
"Now listen here! Those brownies are really freakin' hot! I don't want you or L burning your stupid, drugged up selves! Capiche?"
"Yes Mello." droned the two like a couple of grade schoolers being reprimanded by their teacher.
"Good. Matt! get yer goggled ass over here!"
"It's my head that's goggled! not my ass! Silly Mells." said the gamer as he trotted over, having been playing with a ball and cup this whole time.
While Mello and Matt talked, Matsuda was busy glaring at Rem's tentacles for some reason, and Near was trying to steal the cup and ball from Matt, No one noticed as L and Light snuck off to get the Bad Day Note.
"Alright L, what do you think is sufficient punishment for not letting me get the brownies?" Light asked as he flipped to a blank page.
"Hmmmm… I know! all of his chocolate is put… put in his shampoo! And… his hair turns brown!
"That's perfect!" and just as Light was beginning to write "Mello" in the notebook -- which isn't his real name so it wouldn't have done anything anyway -- Matt snatched it away and handed him the cup and ball saying, "No! Bad Kira! Play with this instead!"
Light looked incredulously at the evil little toy as Matt said, "Crisis averted!" and plopped back down beside Mello.
Light cockily flipped the ball up… and missed. He repeated this process about six times, emitting curses loudly, before Ryuk ate the little ball, mistaking it for an apple.
Before Light could do much damage to the poor shinigami, Duke and Gonzo declared the second batch ready, and everyone swarmed them.
Little did they know it then, but spinning bars and lizards were only the prologue in this epic saga of much Vegasness.
There will be one more chapter of Vegas antics, and then I havn't decided where they'll be going, so if you have any suggestions for the nest stop, or any stop in the future, PLEASE tell me. Once again, I'm super sorry for the update time, I'm a horrible person, hit me in the face if you want, I deserve it.
P.S: how do you like the story's new name?
