Chapter 4.
By the time Bex was eleven weeks pregnant, her mornings had taken on a routine; wake up, puke, get dressed, try to eat breakfast, puke again, go to work. She didn't even have to pretend to abstain from coffee anymore, because the smell of it alone turned her stomach.
On the day of her eleven week ultrasound, Bex had already finished two points of her morning routine, and grabbed some clean clothes from the hall closet. She retreated to the bathroom, the only place in the apartment where she had any real privacy, and started to get dressed. She pulled her shirt over her head and slipped on her favorite jeans. They were full of holes, naturally, which never ceased to confound her mother. Celia never could understand why anyone would pay money for clothes with holes in it (or ninety-percent of Bex's remaining wardrobe, for that matter). At thirty years old, Bex still got satisfaction out of wearing and doing things her mother wouldn't approve of, the same as when she was an adolescent. Except now, she didn't have to sneak her cool clothes to school in her backpack, and change out of her 'mom-approved' clothes in the girl's room before homeroom.
She tugged her jeans up and tried to button them around her waist, but they had less give than usual. They were actually snug. She stood still, her heartbeat speeding up with excitement. Then, she rose on her tiptoes, trying to see her waist in the small bathroom mirror. When she couldn't , she hurried to Andi's room.
"I need your mirror," she said breathlessly.
Andi was combing her hair in front of the large mirror over her dresser. She glanced at her mother in the doorway. "Why aren't you wearing pants?"
"Hold that thought." She lifted up her shirt and studied her abdomen from the front and the side. It wasn't her imagination. She was getting a baby bump. She sucked in her breath excitedly. It was small and hardly noticeable, but it was definitely there. She placed her hands on her stomach, unable to tear her eyes from the mirror.
"Mom?" Andi asked. "What are you doing?"
"Andi, I have a baby bump!" she squealed. "Look!"
Andi looked down at her mother's stomach. "I see it," she smiled. "That's so cool."
"I have to show Bowie," she said, rushing out of the room, Andi following close behind.
Her husband was in the kitchen, making breakfast. "Bowie," she said. "Guess what?" She put her hands on his shoulders, barely able to contain her smile.
"What's up?" he asked. He looked her up and down. "And where are your pants?"
She ignored his last question. "I'm getting a baby bump," she grinned, raising her shirt to show him.
Bowie looked down at the small swell of her belly. "Aww," he gushed. "That's the cutest thing I've ever seen." He placed both his hand on her stomach. "I can't believe our baby's in there. It feels so unreal."
"Just wait until you see the sonogram today" she told him. "It's the most amazing feeling in the world."
"I can't wait," he said, planting a kiss right in the middle of her forehead.
"Mom," said Andi, quietly. "Don't forget, I'm going shopping with Cece after school today."
"I haven't forgotten," Bex told her. "What are you guys shopping for? Do you want me to come with you?"
"No!" Andi said too quickly. She slapped her hands over her mouth. "You can't come, and I can't tell you what we're buying."
"Oh." Bex nodded knowingly. "So it's a surprise for me?"
"I'm not saying anymore," Andi told her firmly, zipping her lips with an invisible zipper.
"What is it?" Bex cried, taking Andi in her arms and tickling her sides until her daughter burst out in a fit of giggles. "Tell meeeee! You know I hate suspense!"
"No," Andi gasped through her laughter. "I've already said too much."
"Fine," Bex pretended to pout.
"You'll see soon enough," Andi promised, still laughing. "Now I have to go."
"Have a good day!" Bex called, as her daughter hurried out the door.
Sonograms were still very much like Bex remembered from her first pregnancy. The gel was still cold, anyway. And it still felt weird when the ultrasound technician spread it on her belly. But she was a lot calmer this time around, and she wasn't alone. She had Bowie with her, sitting beside her, holding her hand.
"Baby Quinn is looking great," the young woman said with a smile. "Everything looks perfect." She moved the paddle around Bex's stomach, trying to get the best view. "Take a look at your baby."
Bex and Bowie studied the fuzzy image on the screen. At her first sonogram, the fetus didn't look like much, just a white splotch. But now, it was starting to develop features, and look like a tiny person. They could clearly make out the baby's shape.
"That's so cool," Bowie breathed. "Look at that. That's our child." He stroked her palm with his thumb, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen. Bex was equally entranced.
"Is this your first child?" the technician asked them.
"We have a daughter," Bex told her.
"Aww. How old is she?"
"She just turned fourteen," Bex answered, still transfixed on the image of the baby inside her.
"Oh. Wow." The woman studied them carefully, and Bex knew she was trying to figure out how old they were, even wondering if Bex had meant to say four instead of fourteen. She didn't bother explaining the situation. She was fully aware that she and Bowie were the age when most couples would just be having their first child. She knew that being teen parents would always carry a stigma, or at least raise eyebrows, but she did her best to ignore it. Their family was different than a lot of families in Shadyside, but their love for their little girl wasn't.
"Is she excited to be a big sister?"
"She's thrilled," Bowie said, beaming with pride. "And I know she's going to be great at it. she's an amazing kid."
"That's wonderful," the woman said with a genuine smile. "Both mother and baby's heartbeats are strong. Would you like to hear?"
"We'd love to," Bex said. She squeezed Bowie's hand. She was so excited for him. She'd been through this magical moment before, when she first heard Andi's heartbeat fourteen years ago, and the life growing inside her became real. It was something she'd never forgotten, and never would as long as she lived. It changed her forever. The moment she heard Andi's heartbeat, she instantly went from being a selfish kid, to loving someone selflessly. She couldn't wait for her husband to experience it for himself. It was all new to him.
"Here it is," the woman said.
Suddenly, the room filled with what sounded like galloping horses, a harmony of Bex's slower heartbeat, and the baby's faster one. Even though it wasn't Bex's first time hearing her child's beating heart, her eyes filled with tears. They pooled over, running down her neck. She turned to look at Bowie.
Tears were streaming down his face. Her heart swelled with love for her sweet, amazing husband. She only wished Andi were there to experience it with them. Their daughter was all that was missing from a perfect moment.
Andi always felt at home in the craft store. It had the same feel as Andi Shack. She could literally spend all day exploring the aisles and never get bored. She had a spring in her step as she and Cece walked through the automatic doors, and were met with her favorite store's familiar potpourri scent. And she was even more excited because before they left, Pops had slipped her a twenty dollar bill and told her to buy herself something.
"Do you want to start with the yarn?" Cece asked, always business first.
"Sure," Andi nodded, looking around, trying to take in everything around her. She was drawn to the bead section, and made a mental note to come back to it later.
They walked to the yarn section. The aisle stretched out before Andi, every color and texture imaginable. "Here's the baby yarn," Cece said. "Do you see anything you like?"
Andi chewed her lip as she looked over the skeins of yarn, all in soft pastel colors. "This," she finally said, choosing a variegated yarn, a mixture of white and several shades of pale blue. The picture on the label showed a finished baby blanket that reminded her of sea glass. When it was woven together, the pattern of the yarn worked out in uneven, patchy stripes. She imagined the blanket in the picture swaddling her new baby brother. "It's perfect!"
"Are you sure you don't want something more gender neutral?" Cece asked skeptically. "This green is lovely." She touched a skein of minty green yarn.
"No, I like the blue," Andi insisted. "It's perfect for a boy."
"And how do you know it's going to be a boy?" Cece asked. "Your mother doesn't even know the baby's gender yet."
"I just know," Andi said. "Sister's instinct."
"Honey, I just don't want you to put all your eggs in one basket," Cece told her. "I know you're hoping the baby will be a boy, but it may not be. I really think you'd be better off choosing green or yellow, or even this multi-colored yarn here." She held up another variegated yarn in pastel rainbow hues.
"Please, Cece?" Andi pleaded, clasping her hands together. She was holding onto the hope that her sibling would be a boy, and she refused to let it go. In the back of her mind, she hoped buying "boy" yarn would sway the universe in her favor.
"Okay," Cece sighed. "If you're sure."
"Thanks," Andi said, giving her a hug.
Cece also picked out a pair of knitting needles for Andi and a simple, beginner's pattern for a blanket. And before they checked out, Andi chose some new beads, and several rolls of duct tape. Their shopping trip was a success.
When they got back to Pops and Cece's house, Andi and Cece went out back to Andi Shack.
"I'll start the blanket for you," Cece offered. "I'm sure you'll get the hang of it quickly. You're so good at these things."
Andi watched closely as her grandmother put on her glasses and began to knit, and she listened as the older woman patiently explained what she was doing.
"Are you ready to try now?" Cece asked her at last.
"I think so," Andi said, tentatively, as her grandmother handed her the needles.
"Give it a try. I'm right here if you need any help."
Andi made a stitch, imitating what Cece had done.
"That's right," Cece praised.
She frowned. "It doesn't look as good as yours, though." She wanted every stitch to be perfect for such an important gift.
"Make it a little looser," her grandmother corrected.
They worked side by side. Andi dropped more than a few stitches, but Cece helped her take them out and fix them. It was cozy, just the two of them. And soon, they had finished almost two whole rows.
Andi jumped when there was a knock on the door of Andi Shack.
"Andi?"
"It's Bex!" she gasped. "Don't come in!" she called. "I'll be right out!"
"Okay," her mother answered.
Andi carefully tucked the blanket and yarn away in a trunk and set her knitting needles on top of them. Then, she and Cece ducked under the doorway, into the backyard.
"There you are," Bex smiled. "Working on my surprise? Can I have a hint?" She elbowed Andi playfully in the side.
"Mom!" Andi cried, giggling. "I'm not telling you what it is. So don't even try to get it out of me."
"I wouldn't dream of it," she winked. "I'm just teasing you."
"Good," Andi nodded. "Because what happens in Andi Shack stays in Andi Shack."
"Andi Mack and the Crafting Shack of Secrets," Bex said dramatically.
"Mom," Andi groaned at her mother's joke, laughing as Bex reached out to brush her hair back from her forehead.
"How did your appointment go today?" Cece asked her daughter.
"It went great!" Bex told her. "The baby is doing fine. And look!" She turned so her mother could see her from the side.
"How adorable,"Cece grinned. "And look at you! You're glowing!"
"I'm going to have to get some maternity clothes soon," she said. "I noticed my clothes are getting tight."
"Are you having enough sex?" Cece asked her, seriously.
"Mom! What the heck?!" Bex cried, horrified. She felt herself blush, even though she was used to her mother's personal questions.
"It's healthy for the baby," Cece said matter-of-factly. "It's scientifically proven. Ask your doctor!"
"Bowie and I are fine in that area," she assured her. "Not that it's any of your business."
"And you'd better not be riding that two-wheeled death machine of yours," Cece went on, unfazed.
"You mean my motorcycle?"
"Of course," Cece nodded. "You know how I feel about you riding that thing alone, Rebecca, but now you're carrying my grandchild."
"Don't worry, mom," Bex said, softening. "I won't ride it. I promise." She took the sonogram picture out of her pocket. "Look at this, you guys." She held the print out to show her mother and daughter.
Cece put her glasses back on. "Aww," she gushed, studying the picture closely. "It's precious."
"Here's the baby's head, and here's it's legs," Bex said to Andi, pointing out the fetus's shape in the grainy image.
"Wow," Andi breathed. "It looks so small."
Bex nodded. "According to the doctor, it's only about the size of a lime right now. Can you believe you were that small once?"
"No." Andi shook her head. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"It's too soon to tell," her mother explained. "Next time I go, we should be able to find out."
"I think the baby has Bowie's cheeks," Cece offered.
Andi titled her head to the side, thoughtfully. "Really?"
"Mark my words," Cece nodded. "We have a little Bowie on the way." She squeezed Andi's shoulder. "And you look more and more like Bex every day."
"Thats a huge compliment," Andi smiled, glancing at her mom. She wanted nothing more than to grow up to be as fun, cool, and beautiful as her mother was.
Bex took Andi's hand in hers and squeezed it. "Well, mini-me. You ready to go home? Your dad wants to have an indoor picnic tonight, and I'm starving."
"So am I," Andi said.
When they got home, Andi, Bex, and Bowie spread their takeout dinner out on the living room floor, and ate on piles of pillows, surrounded by the soft flicker of Bowie's candle collection. Indoor picnics were a family tradition; they had them at least twice a month.
While they ate their Chinese food, Andi told her parents about Cyrus' latest installment of Tater Theater, and Bowie told them about the eight-year-old he just started giving guitar lessons to at The Red Rooster.
"Can we watch a movie?" Andi asked, once they were finished cleaning up.
"I don't see why not," Bex said. "it's Friday night. Go get into your PJ's, and we'll pick something out."
"Nothing scary," Andi reminded her, as she started toward her room. Her parents loved horror films, but she hated them.
"You mean you don't want to watch the sequel to Shh!?" Bex asked with a mischievous wink.
"No way!" Andi cried. "The first one scarred me for life, thank you very much."
"Wait!" Bowie said excitedly, turning to his wife. "They made a sequel to Shh!?"
Bex nodded. "Oh, yeah! This time, the psychotic librarian hunts down her victims from a traveling bookmobile. She's evil on wheels…" she added in a deep voice, imitating the narrator from the movie trailer.
"How did I not know that?" he gasped. "We have to watch it sometime!"
"I am not listening to you guys," Andi said, plugging her ears and hurrying into her room.
When she returned, her mom and dad were sitting on the couch, waiting for her. Bowie had made a bowl of popcorn, even though they'd just eaten a huge meal. The candles were blown out, and the room was darkened.
She sat down between her parents, and snuggled under the blanket they were sharing. Thankfully, for Andi's sake, they'd chosen a reasonable PG13 movie to watch, with nothing too gory or violent. As the movie started, though, Andi found she was having trouble getting into it. She tried, but her mind kept wandering elsewhere.
She glanced over at Bex, who was softly rubbing her baby bump, her eyes trained on the TV, and doubt began to creep into her heart, even though she didn't want it to. Andi loved her mom and dad so much, and some of the happiest times she'd ever had in her whole life were nights like these, when it was just the three of them together in the apartment, dancing, watching movies, cooking, eating… it didn't matter what they did, or how simple it was. They always had a great time. And she was struck with the realization that in a few short months, things would never be the same. It would never be just the three of them again. There would be a baby in the house, demanding Bex and Bowie's time, love, and attention. Life as she knew it was about to change once again.
She tried to squelch her bad feelings, and focus on the movie, but she couldn't. The TV screen blurred as her eyes filled with tears. Ashamed of herself, she tried to hold them back so her parents wouldn't see, but her eyes still stung, and her sadness still burned in her chest.
She was pulled from her negative thoughts when she felt Bex reach out and pat her on the knee. With a soft sigh, she cuddled closer to her mom and rested her head on her chest, needing to feel her arms around her. She could hear Bex's heart beating, and wondered if the baby was listening to it too, from the inside.
