I know I say this a lot, but thank you thank you thank you for the reviews! I would have posted this chapter faster but Microsoft started giving me issues. Also, I'm starting college on Thursday and I'm not sure how it's going to work with the updating, but trust me, I won't abandon you! I really hope you love this chapter! 3 There's also a romance scene in here, though it doesn't go into detail, I guess it's going to go up to M for now.


I gazed at my reflection in my mirror, an unusual gleam to them. I shifted on my knees. My impatience that I maintained so well most of the time was making itself known. I have been acting strange the past few days. I've been dressing up, combing my hair and putting it up in simple styles, making sure I always looked presentable and beautiful. My mother came into my room, probably noting how strange I've been acting. I met her stare in the mirror and frowned. She didn't need to say anything. She was easy to read. I stood and faced her. Tonight. It was happening tonight. I felt excitement and horror at that aspect. Would he like what he saw?

I stood, bowing to my mother. She floated in and for a moment, she appeared to be a ghost, somehow grazing across the floor without touching it. Her eyes zeroed in on my face, my hair, and my black kimono. They finally rested on my eyes. Many emotions flooded her gaze while her posture remained stiff. I wanted to speak, to say something, but there was nothing to say. At least, not until she spoke. I learned this rule rather quickly.

"I assume I do not have to tell you this, but men are here for the purpose of reproducing only. They are simply to continue the blood line." I sensed the hints of a warning and quickly masked any emotion that would give me away. "Of course mother." I turned back to the mirror, holding her gaze within the reflection and went back to brushing my hair. She couldn't know I had fallen in love with him. He'd be gone that much quicker. I had to hide it. "I just thought dressing up would make our moments together better. We are around each other quite a while. Why not attempt to dress like a lady?" She appraised me for a moment, and if she saw something I didn't see it register. I hoped she didn't. She glided towards me and took the comb, beginning to brush my long black hair with it. I thought I saw the hints of a smile threatening to touch her lips. If others were watching, they'd see nothing but a cold woman brushing another woman's hair. But I knew. This was one of our rare mother-daughter moments. She had strange ways of showing love. I smiled gently at her in the mirror. She stepped back after a lovely ornament was placed in my hair, holding my bangs back so that my face could be seen properly. She lifted my chin up with a finger so she could gaze into my eyes once more. Her lips twitched and she released her hold. "Lovely as always." She breathed gently. "I imagine your child will capture your beauty." I brightened at this compliment. I bowed slowly, the air around me light and ready for tonight. I'd conceive the next Kuze child tonight. It would be Akito and I's child. I wonder, what if we left and took the child with us? We could see the ocean together. See a festival. I chided myself greatly for suddenly thinking that thought. In front of my mother, no less. Surely she noticed it.

A small knock at the door had me standing up straight, ready for Akito to join me. I was surprised to see Ayako enter instead. She made her way to the both of us, bowing respectively. In her arms she carried a small platter of foods and two drinks, a sincere smile on her face. "Lady Yashuu, Lady Kyouka," She murmured and turned to my mother. "I have brought what you asked for." I eyed the foods decorating the plate, knowing very well what they were for. These nights I was to retire early with my guest, and often passed a meal, therefore a snack dish and drinks were prepared that we could keep in the room. We were to not leave until the sun peeked from the skies.

My mother bowed. "Be sure my daughter is comfortable Ayako. I shall fetch Akito Kashiwagi." She retreated quickly through the door from earlier. Her mind was elsewhere, and I worried that she knew of my growing affection for Akito. No doubt she'd take it out on him. Distractedly I glanced at Ayako. Her eyebrow was raised slightly, a knowing but affectionate smirk boring into mine. "Lady Kyouka." She offered me the platter and bowed. I knew that look on her face. She read me like a book and knew. I don't know how. She was a child, but she was so observant, that I was often startled around her. But she knew, and with that knowing, she silently pleads for me not to get in to deep.

I think I already am in too deep. Both Akito and I are. Why couldn't another man have been brought to me? Or why couldn't he have been born in another generation to be with another woman? I cursed that thought bitterly. He was mine.

Wait…mine? No, he isn't mine. He's here for one purpose and one purpose only. I can't convince myself as I turn to the mirror again and make sure my hair is just right. I set the tray of treats down after doing so. I forgot I had been holding them. I honestly had no appetite, so I barely took more than a glance at them before my thoughts returned to that man. Ayako's gaze grazed mine in the reflection and she smiled. "If I may so, you look absolutely lovely tonight Lady Kyouka." She bowed with a sweet and genuine expression. Two had already commented on my beauty. I appreciated them, but they were not the opinions I wanted. I only craved his opinion and waited anxiously for him to come. Every heartbeat had me thinking my mother was tormenting him, cascading a million questions on him of me.

Ayako, so uncharacteristically like herself tonight, only nodded once to me with a genuine smile. She was feisty from what I could tell of her. She could be inappropriate as well. It normally bothered me when people were so bold and lacked personal feelings in regards to others, but now, I couldn't be but amused. She sent me a knowing gaze in the mirror and bowed, leaving me alone with the thoughts rampaging my mind. I tried to ignore the slight hints of worry beneath her expression as she left.

It suddenly felt too quiet and stifling in the room. I knew I only waited a few moments, but it felt longer than that. I couldn't stop the impatient huff that escaped from my lips. No one was around to hear my improper noise; therefore, I didn't bother myself on acting so rudely. I just wanted him here with me. I wanted us together. I wanted to know more of the world. I wanted to learn more about him. Was this so wrong? Was this really so…so wrong?

'Of course it is. Of all the things not allowed in this house, you fall in love? With a stranger no less.'

Love…? Did- No, I couldn't love him…I had only known him a few days. Was-was that even possible?

I nearly jumped when the door was pulled open and my mother entered. Akito followed behind her. That look in his eyes had me resisting the urge to run to him, to hold him in my arms, away from everyone. My mother was here with us and she'd know. That was unacceptable. She couldn't know. If she found out, it would all be ruined. So, I simply stood and strolled forward, doing what I usually do. I bowed. My brother and Akito bowed as well and my mother smiled lightly. She was often happy when plans came together to produce the next generation. She looked forward to her granddaughter, no doubt. But, even I knew that we couldn't decide the gender. I didn't know what to do if it were to be a boy. Men are not welcomed here, and if it turns out to be a boy, I worry for what his future would hold. Thankfully I have time to ponder this predicament. It would be Akito's child as well, so maybe we could both do something? I sincerely hoped.

She bowed once more toward us and placed a hand upon my stomach, murmuring whispered prayers. Prayers for fertility and conceiving the next heir. Akito had been explained this away from me by my mother earlier. All men who were brought to my chamber were explained beforehand. She finally stopped and smiled, a hopeful tint covering her lovely eyes.
My mother gracefully left, her movements' fluid and leaving the two of us alone together. Normally I'd find myself eager to get this situation over with and be done with it. To become the bearer of a child and continue on my way. This felt so much different. So much more...exciting. I smiled gently at Akito, a strange fluttering in my stomach.

"It is good to see you again." I murmured. He smiled brilliantly, a sight he reserved for only me. I felt flushed just from being in his presence. I took his hand in mine eagerly. "Come, you must be cold. Let's sit here by the candles."

We moved to a corner of the room, where we would be most unseen. The shyness and properness could now drop. We would not be interrupted anytime soon. I led him behind a screen where a few pillows sat. My room was very open, and could be seen at some points to the stairs, but few traveled between that area. The handmaidens and my mother, mostly.

He went along with me, a tranquil look crossing his features. We both seemed content to just be in each other's company.

"I have missed you, Kyouka." He spoke gently and pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear before taking my hand. I laughed, the noise unusually loud in my own ears.

"It has not even been a day." I replied lightly.

"It seems longer than that to me." He spoke, a solemn sound to his tone of voice.

I frowned and gave a sad smile. "I understand how you feel." I understood it a little too well. I caressed my hand across his face, doing my best to hide the longing I had for him. Never having dealt with such strong emotions, I didn't hide it too well. If he noticed he said nothing. He cleared his throat nervously and suddenly appeared awkward. "I've…never done this before." He spoke, looking down shamefully. I smiled at this and placed my hand over his chest. His heart beating was a lovely feeling against my palm.

"It's alright. I shall be here to help. Just follow your instincts." I kept my hand on his chest and moved closer, now kneeling, and held his gaze. I was accustomed to this. Except this time it felt…right. It was going to be perfect. Constantly holding his stare with mine I leaned in and placed my lips over his. He tasted so wonderful and I breathed in his scent. His eyes closed, to which I closed mine as well, and we simply enjoyed the feeling; this rare intimate moment where we were brought closer than ever. I felt myself glowing. Nothing could ruin this. Nothing in the world, not even the summer air melting the snow, could stop my happiness. I imagined the ocean when I kissed him, the sun setting, the wonderful feeling of openness filling my being. I slowly became aware that I was in no way fond of closed spaces. I wanted open air. I wanted to breathe in the world outside of this mansion. I smiled gently into the kiss, our lips unable to leave the others for too long. He smiled as well and took control suddenly. I gladly gave it to him. I'd give everything to him at this point.

I wanted more of him. I want everything with him. If he were to stay with me forever – then I can say in my heart- that I would need nothing else. I just wanted him. Our breathing grew heavier, as did our kissing, and our tongues danced together as we fell to the floor.

It didn't matter that my kimono was a mess. It didn't matter that my breathing was embarrassingly loud. Everything around me didn't matter at that moment. I had Akito. I had him with me, and though he never said, I was sure he was mine. I kissed him everywhere, his skin warm against mine as our bodies collided together. This was all I needed. This was all I wanted. For once in my life, I felt truly, truly happy.