Fatherless

Chapter 4: A New Reason to Live

A few months after Emily told Hotch she was pregnant with his child and wanted nothing from him, the brunette duo had not spoken a single word to each other. Aaron was not only mad about the fact that she had chosen to keep his child from him, but at her behavior and attitude toward him. She had not spoken to him since that night, and she avoided him at all cost at work. The only times she actually spoke a word to him were during the case briefings, and that was only relating to the case with five other people in the room, and she didn't look at him in the eyes.

He had tried a few times to pair himself with her on cases in the field to get an opportunity to talk to her in private, but the few times he had attempted that, she immediately suggested that it would be better if paired with Morgan or Reid, or even Rossi, since they were better schooled with that specific matter. No one had ever questioned his decisions, and it made him even angrier because she would not even pair with him on a case, even if that meant her losing her job for insubordination.

Hotch decided to leave her alone and stop attempting to talk to her. She had been very clear when she said she wanted absolutely nothing from him, and if that was what she wanted, then he decided he would never bother her again. If his child grew up away from him, it wasn't going to be his fault, it was going to be hers…it was she who had decided he was not to be part of their baby's life. The parent that would have to explain to their child why he didn't have a dad was her…it was going to be her conscience, not his.

As for Emily, she was heartbroken and hurt with his actions; she felt used for his pleasure and convenience for the entire eighteen months they were together. She was devastated because she had believed Hotch was the man of her dreams, and she felt he had only played with her. He had not even attempted to talk with her to repair their relationship, even after finding out she was expecting his baby. He didn't give a damn, another proof that he had just used her, and now he couldn't care less about her or the baby. She spent endless nights crying over losing him, over what he had done to her, she couldn't believe he was capable of causing so much pain and hurt to someone he supposedly loved. But she vowed she would get over him and be strong now that she had another reason to smile and be happy.

Things changed even more when she went to her next doctor's appointment, and she got to hear her baby's heartbeat. Emily's entire world stopped, and all she could hear was that little fast heartbeat…her little gift, her angel, her little piece of heaven that had been sent to her to make her happy and make her smile again. She had always wanted a baby as far back as she could remember, that day her life changed. When she listened to her baby alive inside her, her eyes filled with tears; she couldn't believe how such a little thing that wasn't even born could give her so much joy and make her want to live again.

She was so happy after that, yes, heartbroken about Hotch's actions, but immensely happy, she was going to be a mother, she was finally going to have a little baby angel all to herself.

Of course, she would have to tell the team at some point, and she wanted them to be a part of her life, too, but she hadn't yet decided when that would be. Her plans where decided one morning when she was quietly working on paperwork and suddenly stood up from her desk, running to the bathroom and emptying the contents of her stomach. Up until that time, she had not experienced much nausea, or even drowsiness, during her first trimester, but there were certain things that made her sick, even if she hadn't had any problems before. She had a feeling this morning's sickness was caused by Reid's garlic pasta and bacon sandwich. Emily already hated the smell of bacon, and the sandwich sitting open-faced next to her desk wasn't really helping matters. She washed her face and hands and decided to make some tea to settle her stomach, and by the time she was back at her desk, the boys were looking at her with questioning eyes, and they had brought the girls along, worried that something really bad might have been going on with her.

"What?" Emily asked, aware of the four pairs of eyes that were now staring at her.

"Are you okay, princess?" Derek asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired." Emily replied dismissively, looking for her cup to go make some hot tea.

"What was that all about?" He asked.

"What was what about?" Emily asked innocently.

"Come on, Emily, don't play games, you know what he's talking about. Are you sick? You definitely look sick." JJ asked, concerned about her friend.

"Um, no, I'm not sick."

"Then what's going on, my raven-haired beauty? You've been acting weird for a while, you seem really tired and stressed. We're just worried about you." Penelope added sweetly.

"Yeah, Em, we're your family, if you have a problem, we want to help you." Spencer said, with scared eyes.

Emily just stood there looking at all her friends…her family, touched by how much they cared and how concerned they were about her, and she couldn't help but feel guilty but happy at the same time. Happy to know how loved she was by such an amazing family, they were, after all, the closest thing she had to a family, yet feeling guilty because she had not meant to keep them out of this mess…she was just waiting for the right time, only she didn't really know when that right time would be, but now she felt it was time to bring them into her happy news.

"Thank you, guys, I'm fine, I'm just tired, and…" All her friends were looking at her, both concerned and scared.

"I'm pregnant." Emily finally said in a shaky voice.

"Oh my God! What!" JJ and Penelope shouted with a huge smile on their faces.

"Wow, princess…" Morgan said, speechless, but with a huge grin on his face.

"I'm going to be an uncle." Spencer said in a low voice. Emily finally smiled widely and said:

"Yes, Spence, you're going to be an uncle." And before Emily was aware of it, everyone was pulling her in for a hug and congratulating her.

"Oh my God, Em…congratulations! You should have told me earlier!" JJ screamed happily.

"Thank you, guys, I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier, but I just needed time to digest the news myself." She smiled to her friends.

Just as they were still pulling her in for hugs and congratulations, Hotch and Rossi walked into the bullpen; they had been at a meeting with Strauss for the past three hours, and the team was supposed to be concentrating on paperwork. They were immediately aware of the team gathered around Emily, and they stopped in front of them to see what all the commotion was about.

"What's with the party...weren't you supposed to be working on paperwork?" Dave asked, teasing the team.

"Come on, bossman, we're just having a little celebration here with the news." Penelope said about to burst with happiness.

"News?" Hotch asked, raising his eyebrows, and before Emily could stop her from talking, Penelope spoke happily...

"Our Em here is expecting a little baby...a little mini E!" She shouted.

"Oh my God, Emily, that's amazing, congratulations, bella." Dave said, pulling her to him for a hug, while she avoided Hotch's nervous glare.

"So, who's the lucky father?" Dave asked happily, putting an arm around her.

"Um, he's not in the picture, so it doesn't matter." Emily said nervously, simultaneously avoiding Dave's piecing look.

"Oh no, Em, please don't tell me I have to kick some son of a bitch's ass?" Derek said angrily.

"Derek, please, it's not important, and I really don't want to talk about that. It was my decision." Emily said firmly.

"Well, you know what, it doesn't matter who that asshole is because this baby will have so many uncles and aunts that will give him everything in life he needs or wants, baby girl." Derek added, smiling at her and pulling her for a hug, too.

Hotch just stood there angrily while everyone hugged and congratulated her, but it also hurt him so much because everyone got to enjoy this news and not him.

"Thank you, guys, but we should get back to work." Emily suggested, as she could feel Hotch still glaring at everyone, especially her.

Everyone got back to work, and in a matter of minutes, the bullpen was quiet again. Later that day, everyone decided to take Emily to dinner to celebrate the news, everyone but Aaron, that is…even Dave offered to pay the tab as a gift for Emily who was like a daughter to him, and the baby would technically be his grandson or granddaughter. The entire team was happy, they loved Emily and knew that despite the current identity of the father who wasn't going to be present in the baby's life, they would support her and be there for her and the baby the entire time.