I'm so sorry that I took this long. To be honest, I lost my direction in the story for a while. I'm back on track and forgive me please. Please let me know if you like it, or if I should scrap it.
Chapter 4: Doubt
Jane went home dreading having to have the discussion with Brad. She bought a bottle ofChampagneon the way home thinking of how she and Maura would celebrate the years of dancing around their attraction. Foryears she had fooled herself into thinking that this is what it was like finding your true best friend. She just assumed that her protective nature, her admiration, even her need to be around Maura was purely because that's what best friends acted like. She felt a little sheepish that she hadn't recognized earlier that the two of them were meant for each other, that she quite possibly was the one person who was made for her. Granted she hadn't discussed any of this with Maura, but it was how she felt. This wasn't just some sexual inquisition that she needed to get out of her system. She realized that was impossible with Maura, and she was more than ok with that. She didn't want casual sex anymore. Her life had been filled with it. It had all felt like a lie or a defense mechanism against ever getting hurt. Now everything was as clear as day to her, from that one kiss with Maura it was almost as if her path had been lit to what she was meant for.
Maura left early from work too. She had things she needed to take care of before going to Jane's later. Things like waxes all of a sudden were the upmost importance to her. She wanted it to be perfect. Having never been with a woman she was incredibly nervous, but Jane wasn't just any woman. She imagined Jane was incredibly well versed in the bedroom. In her experience, people who talked about sex the least always were the best at it. It was the people who bragged all the time that always seemed to be utter flops in the performance department. But she knew Jane. She knew the fire that she could create. It was how she lived her life. To be honest one of her fears of having sex with Jane is that she wouldn't be able to please her. Whatever happened she knew Jane and Jane would never let her know if she was disappointed, but after all this build up she just hoped that Jane was left so weak from multiple orgasms that she wouldn't remember how to lie or put on a good face. She wasn't worried about herself. She loved Jane and was now realizing she always had feelings for her. There was no way that feeling Jane's olive skin and hearing that sexy raspy voice in her ear while their naked bodies collided could ever be a disappointment.
The buzzer at Jane's house rang as Jane was jolted aware as she got up to leave her computer as she was doing work on the case. She pressed the button waiting till she heard the security door close. She fiddled with the lock and unhooked the chain as she took one final inhale in and exhale out before she had to break up with Brad.
"Hey gorgeous, how was the rest of your day?" Brad said as he leaned in and kissed her quickly on the forehead.
"Oh not too bad, slowly but surely I'm catching up to my guy. Just gotta figure out how to find the son of a bitch. Same story different day though."
Brad feigned a laugh, "Well just as long as you keep that body of yours safe, I say go get'em. By the way, why are you so dressed up? That is not what you were wearing at lunch earlier. Not that I'm complaining, you look good enough to eat."
Jane knew she should have waited to change till after he had left, she hoped he wouldn't get distracted and think something was going to happen between them. "I'm not dressed up, you know every girl has her LBD. I'm just having dinner with someone later." Before Brad even heard the last part of her statement, he was looking down at his phone.
"Sorry babe, I gotta take this call."
Babe, the second she heard it come out of his mouth it sounded wrong. She wasn't his babe. She didn't like the phrase at all. She started thinking about Maura coming over, and started getting butterflies in her stomach. She went to the kitchen and stirred the sauce she had cooking in the pot. Although she wasn't much of a cook like her mother was, something about wanting to create an atmosphere for she and Maura took over. Hell, she didn't even care if they ate it as long as Maura could see that Jane put the effort out to impress her.
Brad paced in the other room with a mild annoyance. It was something Jane had never seen from him before. He'd always been so kind to her. Someone on the other line was pissing him off or at least the topic they were discussing was. She let it go from her mind and hoped it wasn't something too bad that would further delay her breaking up with him.
"Sorry Jane that was my dad. He owns a used car dealership back home and he isn't doing so well. He said that he is having trouble with the staff or something. Claims that one of the guys he fired made a copy of one of the keys and stole one of the cars."
"Did he report it? What's the name of the dealership? What kind of car was it?"
"Jane. Can you turn off your cop brain for a minute? I don't really know. I'm sure he reported it. His problem is that he is too trusting of people. I'm sure he will get it worked out." He seemed aloof and defensive. She couldn't figure out why. "So you're having dinner with Maura huh?"
"Yep. She is probably getting ready to leave to come over at any moment. I thought we'd have more time to talk because I really need to talk to you."
"Well I'm right here." He walked closer to her grabbing her around the waist in an attempt to hug her. She backed away slowly. "Uh oh. Guess it's not the good kind of talking." He braced himself against the counter.
"No it's not really the good kind. I can't be with you anymore Brad. I… I think I love someone else" It was like word vomit. Once it started she couldn't stop. She had planned on letting him down easily without bringing up the fact that she was head over heels for her best friend. She didn't really know what had happened.
"Um, ok wow. Here I am thinking we were having a good time and you're telling me that you have been wishing I was someone else this whole time? Wow I underestimated you." He took a chug of his beer and slammed it down on the counter.
"No! That's not exactly how it happened. It's… It's just really hard to explain."
"Try Jane. I'd love to know who has your affection. What guy's ass I need to kick when I walk out that door. I know we weren't that serious yet, but I was starting to think that this could get serious and you pull the rug out from under me." He was almost foaming at the mouth he was so angry. Jane hadn't seen this coming at all. She was almost glad she was seeing this side of him because it made it easier on her knowing he had this kind of rage.
"First of all, there will be no kicking of anyone's ass. And second, it's not a guy."
"You're fucking kidding me right now right? You mean to tell me that I am losing you to a dyke? Unfuckingreal."
"HEY! I don't know where the hell all of your entitlement is coming from but cool down. No one calls her a dyke and I didn't realizing that after seeing you sporadically for such a short time that you would feel the need to get this upset. It's not like I did it on purpose. Nor did she."
"Oh I see. It's Maura. Now it all makes sense. The little black dress, the cooking, got it. I can't believe this shit. I always land in the middle of sexually confused women and I don't understand how I manage it. All you lesbians need to get your shit together and stop fucking up everyone's lives." He was screaming and Jane wasn't feeling to safe with his finger in her face."
"Brad, calm down and get your finger out of my face. I'm not a lesbian. I don't see the world in black and white. I fell for a person. It wouldn't have mattered if they were male or female. I'm sorry that you see the world in such utter darkness that you would feel it necessary to attack me for who I fell for. Do you think I was just stringing you along? No I don't enjoy this, but I am definitely glad I got to see this side of you. Makes this a whole lot easier knowing you are capable of this kind of anger."
The buzzer rang just as Jane finished her sentence, she walked over and held it down.
"Fucking perfect, so now I get to be a witness to your sins with your new girlfriend. You going to stick your tongue down her throat in front of me too?"
Jane turned towards the door and opened it. She saw Maura there and gave her a look as if to warn her that he was still there and it wasn't going well.
"Brad, I'm truly sorry that it happened this way, but I can't say I am upset about my decision. You've shown your true colors tonight and regardless of Maura. I couldn't be with someone who felt the way you do about this stuff."
Maura looked at Jane with concern. Clearly she had missed some major fireworks. She knew that whoever had to give Jane up wouldn't go without a fight, they'd be stupid to. She was a catch, Maura had always thought so. But, this guy was practically seething.
"Enjoy fucking her after I leave. Just remember, I had her first and you'll never be able to satisfy her the way I did last night. Oh, and she didn't cry out for you when she came, twice."
Maura leaned in towards him, "It's her job to know how and when to lie. I on the other hand can't tell a lie so if that pathetic excuse for a bulge is any indication she faked it, twice. Oh and I will enjoy her every which way is physically possible and my tongue can do more for her than that thing you call a penis."
Jane was so incredibly turned on by Maura right now that she got momentarily distracted from her anger. She wanted to tell him that the entire time they were having sex she was thinking of and wishing she was with Maura, but she decided to get him the hell out of her apartment before things got any worse. "Brad, it's time for you to go."
"I'm already going you freaks." The door slammed behind him as Jane turned to Maura.
"Wow Maura. I've never been so unbelievably turned on and never felt like a bigger piece of meat in my life. It's a complicated feeling." Jane laughed walking towards Maura.
"Well, I couldn't have him taunting me to a whose penis is bigger fight and clearly, mine is." Maura raised a flirtatious eyebrow towards Jane. "Oh, and Jane If you even think for two seconds that I'm going to be outdone by him in bedroom you are in for a very very long night. Especially when you go buy new dresses for the occasion, you're breathtaking."
Jane smiled, "I knew what I was doing. Just like you did with this little number. You're stunning in red. And what are you trying to do with that red lipstick and those heels?"
Maura winked at her and smiled teasingly as Jane poured the champagne as they toasted to their evening. However excited she was, there was a little seed planted in her mind that there was a dark cloud hanging over their beginning. She pushed it aside and grabbed a spoon and let Maura taste the sauce. Jane leaned down and kissed her deeply tasting everything in a whole new way. She wrapped her hands around Maura's face as their tongues slid across one another's.
"You're going to do me in aren't you Jane Rizzoli?"
Jane winked, "That's the current plan Doctor Isles. Hope you can keep up."
Maura scrunched her nose up, leaned in and then paused just short of Jane's lips as she whispered, "Oh Jane… you have no idea what I can do with these hands, and this tongue." She finished the kiss as Jane felt her body weaken beneath it.
Jane pulled back from the kiss. "I… uh… Don't you think we should eat first?"
"Definitely Detective. You're going to need that sustenance to keep up."
Jane slid her finger across Maura's collarbone and down her chest to the point where her dress met her cleavage. "God, how did I ever keep my hands off of you for this long. What an idiot I am." She pecked Maura on the lips as she started preparing their plates. Maura poured a glass of wine for each of them. Maura smiled looking at Jane. This is what I always searched for, and it was right in front of my face the whole time.
