Second Chances
Billa, Thorin, Fili and Kili wake up three months before they are to start the quest. All remembering what had happened, and knowing that they had been give a second chance to get things right, but there is more to it than that. The blessing of the ancients of the is upon them, and all their kin. But who are these two new Istari and what is their connection to the two blue Istari and Gandalf? (This Chapter has been edited and revised)
Pairing Shipping Fili & Fem. Kili Thorin & Fem. Bilbo Dwalin & Fem. Ori Dori & Fem. Balin Bofur & Fem. Nori Bilbo & Dis (Yes, there two Bilbos and they are twins)
Disclaimer: I have no rights to any of J. R. R. Tolkien works and am making no money from this.
AN: The story for here on out will be a hard read for some for as well, as also being harder for me to write, because I will be writing about things like what myself and others I know both family and friends have gone through. I need to continue writing no matter how painful, because the reasons I am writing this fic. are: 1) In the hope that people may better understand the pain and hardships of others, and 2) because in some small way I would like to share with others both the pain that is often endured alone and friendless. As well as healing that God can and has given that has come over the years for myself and my family and friends. I know that not just myself and kin when through these things and far worse than what I am depicting. I know that these things are not for the faint of heart, but I am unwilling to remain silent, when so many are without voice. I am using the characters that I am, because their personalities in the books and movies match ours closer than other characters in other books or movies.(Phyical, Mental, Emotion, Sexaul abuse of many kinds, and the stigma and mistreatment that goes hand and hand with be born dual gendered. As well the confusion that comes from not being allowed to live as you were born, but being forced by others to conform to the gender they want you to be. This does not promote homosexality or sex changes, but the oppossite which the blessing of being born with both gender and finding the one that is your soulmate. Instead of being forced into being alone of homosexal, because people think you are born that way, or worse used for peoples sick pleasure because you were born with both gender. But things go on, and people suffer in silence.) So if you are unable to read about these things without them bothering you or without bias; please do not. Questions and reviews are welcome. Flames will be ignored or reported determined be content. I will do my best to keep this at T rating, but I may need to move it up to M, so be fore warned. I would have those that have been through these things; know that they are loved and prayed for. Even if you do not see those who do, or yet them know, May the peace and healing of God, Most High be upon all who read this.
AN: Respectful reviews most welcome. May all who read be blessed, strengthened and encouraged by it. Lord be will done.
Text legden
"Speaking"
'Thinking or character actions intermittent speech'
'Speaking by thought, sight or foresight.'
"Speaking in a form of speech other than common."
"Speaking in both common and another form of speech."
/Character narration/
~Dream or Flashback~
Chapter 4
Of Vows and Bonds
Two hours later Thorin told all the Company all that they were able but without letting on how they knew it.
Balin looks at Dori. "Dori we need to stop running from this. We had better not put it off any longer than Ori's birthday."
Dwalin looks between Dori and his Sister, glaring at Dori. "So, he's the one you have been hiding that you found Bal, and Dori why had you not been willing to braid your beads in her hair, I know you've had them for decades now."
Dori sweats but looks Dwalin in the eye. "I feared you would keep her from me or worse kill me and leave to grief herself to death without me. I also feared that once you and Ori were wed you and Nori would keep my nadith from me for it."
Dwalin is for a moment shocked and his eyes soften in concern. "Dori lad, no, no. I am truly sorry for whatever I did to make you fear that, and Balin, sister why would I do that. Yes, I would do all can to protect you, Ballin, but that would not be protecting. It would be killing you. No, all this is madness, you have my blessing as you would have years ago."
Balin frowns fighting tears. "It appears that we had been beset by the enemy brother. I am truly sorry, Dwal for my fear and mistrust, can you forgive me, both you and Dori?"
Dori the first time in the presence of others, pulls Balin into his arm and holds her. "I will grow my hair some, doll, so that you can braid your beads in."
Bofur growls. (Nori gets up and look pained and stricken, and goes into to backyard without anyone but Ori knowing.) "Beset indeed, look at mistrust that would have kill us all and most likely will drive us like young Turin to the breaking of him and of his one and the death of them both."
Ori shakes her head stands, and slams her palms down on the table, everyone goes quiet. All eyes are on her, as she speaks in voice too quiet, as she sets them all with a glare as tears fall from eyes. "Enough, Bofur is right, even if he is dence. Do any of you see Nori. Nori who is breaking. Nori who has been misjudged. Nori thinks that...Bof... Can you not see? Dori, you told Nada and Amad before they passed you would protect both of your sisters, and you. Dwalin and Balin you would not take three orcs serving sick minded drarrows off the guard before they could rape my sister in the cells..."
Bofur stood trembling and ran outside, memories flashing through his head of all that Ori had reawaken in that piercing glance, fearing that in his inaction he had pushed Nori too far. "Nori...NORI... please no...NORI...UFF."
Nori jumps down covering Bofur month and then letting go as he relaxed then turns pain, guilty and love filled eyes to her. "Nori, I didn't know. I am fool..."
Nori breaks, kissing Bofur deeply and sobs into the kiss as Bofur starts kiss back tenderly. She turns to run, but Nori fall about five feet away.
Bofur fall to he kneels holding his arm open as he chokes back a sob. "Nori, don't run please, I know I've been a fool. You're my best friend, and I told ya over and over as I broke because... I thought if I had a Ze, they must not want me... Please Nori tell me I was wrong...I can't...I can't live without ya... now that I know It's you... I should've...known...because when yer hand brushed mine...yer breath mingled mine...I am.."
Nori glares fearfully and mistrusting, bitter and broken. "Oh, so who told you… like you really want ME… I am all used up Bof...your one...wants...you...needs...you… Has Always loved you... but what should have been yours to take was…"
Nori thinks brokenly. 'Or have you truly forgotten all that you helped me through.'
Bofur brushes her hand trying to hold her hand but can't reach, but unwill to move closer and frighten her, his voice shaking with tears. "Nori, I know… as long as...ya'll have me... I want all of you...every broken... and scared inch of ya...yer a beautiful puzzle Nori... and I want to put ya back together...If'n you'll let me..."
Nori relaxes and laughs, and smile lovingly at Bofur. She pulls him up and rests her foreheads again his, her nose beside his, their breath mingling, as she speak just above a whisper. "I don't pretend to know why or how you could see me as a beautiful puzzle, but all pieces are your to do with as you please, do what you want with me. I have alway belong to you. But if you don't have any made yet for me, I have betrothal beads for you. I've had them for years. I've just been waiting for you pick up the curves I had to hide since those guards.. and others took what was yours from me. I am sorry don't have more offer..."
Bofur's breath hitches as his tears slow in mild shock. Nori pull him up to his feet and close to her, holding him, and Bofur gently rests his hands on her back unsure of himself, and gently rubs her back in slow circles like he always does when Nori is hurting, and talking to him. "Nori, my Dove, ya mean more ta me than that. I have waited all my life for you, and ya've been there half of it. Please let me treat ya like the rare jewel are, show you that yer loved, needed and yes very very much wanted, but I want more than your body. I want your heart, your soul, your mind, your sweet spirit. Ya complete me Nori, and I'm not whole without ya. I love you, Nori, my Ze. The one I have so longed and yearned for..."
Nori kisses Bofur deeply, heated, nearly roughly, trembling, as Bofur's hands slowly trails down her back and gently rest on her hips. Bofur now more sure of himself as he slows down the kiss and turn it into somethings warm, slow, tender and soft, filled with love and longing.
He rubs gentle but firm circles with his thumbs where they rest at her hips. Nori whimpers a soft cry, pulls her head back to rest against his. "Please Bof, I can't take it. I'm your, please. Take me."
Bofur tenderly kisses tear away on her cheek. "No, Nori not yet. We need to wait until were wed. I am going to treat you like the lady that ya are, and not some ragdoll ta throw in the toy box when I'm through with ya."
Nori pulls at Bofur's hips, squeezing his butt, he moans and leans his head as she kisses his neck, but stands firm and holds hers hips so that she can't bring her to his. "Bofur, stop teasing and just take me already."
"Mmm..No.. Nori… Nori… Nori… love stop this. Ya're worth more than that... I want you to be my wife, my mate, bare my children if we're blessed with them… Grow old and silly with me.."
Nori stop and weeps into his shoulder her voice a harsh whisper. "That what I am a ragdoll no better than whore...to be beaten and used... hate and mocked..."
Bofur holds her and sways with her gently. "No love. No you're not. I will not have you as a play thing, you are my soul's mate, and worth more to me than all the mithril in Khazad-dum." Nori cries herself to sleep.
As Bofur pick her up and heads back to the door he sees Dori and Dwalin waiting, talking quietly. Bofur looks at them with a touch of disgust. "I know ya were not but ten yards behind me. I know you heard every word I told her and I meant it, every word. But if find that ya have ill treated her again in any way, brother and cousin or no. I will end you."
Both Dori and Dwalin look visibly shaken. Dwalin shakes his head tears running freely his cheek in open shame. "Yes, I heard and saw. Your a better dwarrow than most to..."
Nori wake but keep her face in his neck she doesn't have look at them. "Bofur you can put me down. I can walk."
Bofur smiles warmly at her, and then glances seeing both Dwalin and Dori with broken tear stained faces. "No, love. Dwalin would open the door for us, if ya would. I'd like to tuck ya in and watch sleep and be there to comfort you. Ya'll let me do that won't ya?"
Nori smirks against his neck and then kisses his neck and scoffs. "Of course you can, but don't fall asleep Bof. You know what happen if I catch you sleeping."
Dwalin open the door for them. Bofur nods a thanks to Dwalin, and signs that they talk tomorrow and glares Dori and tells him you as well.
Nori turns and opens the door, still in Bofur arms. She sees that it's the room Billa told Bofur he could use and her pack was there, with the little wooden box on top. Bofur lays her on the bed gently as knees beside it. "If want I can sleep in the chair. I don't want to tempt ya."
Nori sets up and places her leg on either of his chest and slides into his lap pushing him back as she bring her body fully flush his, pinning his shoulders down. Bofur eye are wide and tears start to trail down his cheeks, he can't move, but she doesn't either as she speaks in a soft heated purr. "You already did. If you want to wait; we'll wait, but I need to..."
Nori's voice breaks as lets his shoulders go a wraps her arm around his chest lay her ear over his pounding heart. "Feel you.. I feel that I can never be clean... I ..."
Bofur heart beat slows as calms down and it calms her; he pets her hair and holds her. "Nori, my dove. If ya need this that's fine, but I don't want make..."
Nori kisses him tenderly weeping into it, and gets up wrap her arm around herself. "Please... Bof.. I need... I need to know... that what they did was wrong... "
Bofur turn her to face him, and lifts her chin with edge of his fingers looking into her eyes, love and fondness showing. "I see.. Well, I can't say that I know much. I know that I love ya, and I don't want ta ya hurt but... If ya need me like that... I can give you everything ya ask, but taking you. But I will not touch ya or do things to ya in the way those that ill treated you did."
Nori nods and she start to take her clothes off Bofur stop her, she frowns confused. "But Bofur I thought.."
Bofur looks in eyes. "Nori do ya trust me." Nori nods. "Then let me set our pace, and let me love you. I am not willing to have sex with ya. I want to make love ta you and not just with my body. I want to please you and once ya know the difference between sex and lovemaking I let ya touch me. I can wait and I want to wait until we are wed, but I will not deny you yer needs. Can I please undress ya?"
Nori blushes brightly. "You're asking me? Of course you can."
Bofur nods and smiles lovingly. "May I take my time ta gently explore yer body. By kissing and touching and tasting you."
Nori trembles and close her eyes and tils her head back whimpering at the thought of his soft lip on her skin. "Yesss.. Please.."
Bofur kisses her softly but soundly. "Tell me if anything, and I mean anything feel wrong to ya okay. Are ya ready."
Nori looks in his eyes seeing no lust at all only love and desire to bring her joy.
Fili had fallen asleep short after he and Kili had consummated their bond. Fili had been fully and completely sated and took for granted that it was the same for Kili , who has finally fallen into a fitful sleep, but Kili was in pain because of need.
~ Kili hears a voice calling out searchingly. "Kitten, My precious silver star, my near dearest… where are you?" Kili knows the voice but can't place it, but knows it is voice of one of her closer intendeds, but one she has yet to meet face to face in this time and place, and closes her eyes at the feelings of being safe and love, as she feel the one the voice belongs to near. "I am hear my golden flower… Forgive my absence…" Golden flames hued hazel eyes flicker with love, sorrow and great joy. "More than forgiven… So, your one has finally wed you but has left you wanting and in need, and Tru is in no state to comfort by the feel of it. Shall I care for your needs my mate..?" Kili's eyes openly slow her brow furrowed, conflicting emotions hear in her now flickering sky, sea and vale hued hazel flickering eyes. "We are still mated then.. Nori had notice a mating mark.. It is hidden and somewhat faded.. Is that because…" The golden eyed one smiles softly kissing the golden hued kiss mark on the right side of Kili's neck, and whispers. "Yes, that would be the main reason, other would that now that you have been rebodied our bond needs to be renewed to remain.. Do you want to complete our part of the vows.. my beloved.. my near most dear.. Speak it and I will. I have missed you dearly, and have sought long and hard for you, my silver star." Kili takes a deep break and turns and is shocked at first with who stands before her, just as bare in body as she is, but scared and it is clear that most of them come from the claws of a dragon. "Please tell me Salmar did not do this…" Golden eyes widen in horror at the though and the golden eyed shake his head equally flame golden hair moves wildly as he does. "Of course not, Helca would never raise a finger much less a claw to me in harm or pain. No, what you see. Is from me maring myself so that Salmar's Amad and their killers could not cause me to be with child. The rest is from their ill treatment. I may be the second strongest of our order Catran but I will never be as strong.. Kitten, what wrong… please don't cry?" Kili sobs into his chest that had once been fuller than her as he holds her. "This is my faught. I have forgotten so much, and so much is hidden from me still, but if I had only been stronger…" The golden eyed one sighs kissing Kili's head. "Stop this, I did not search and risk all that I have for you to shred yourself because of my fate and doom. You know that I am no longer so innocent, kitten. But I am not what they say of me, but I can not be mercy without you, my love. I am a cold cruel justius that cares not as long as those that will not repent pay. I beg you to remember that I need you at my side. Even if it is only in my brief dreams. But you are still pain." Kili laughs brokenly. "You could say that again Narloth, my mate. Our vows stand before Eru, or the mark would not have remained, but I will not mate any…" Narloth as Kili called him kisses her softly trembling and whispers against her lips. "Do not speak it. All of your mates, not I only.. not Fili only.. not Tru only.. will need you. Stay in line and in the order of matehood Eru has given us, and you will betray no one. Oh how I have missed you voice in my ears. Your thoughts in my head. Your.. ahh." Kili blushes faintly and continues to touch her dream mate, the one she loves second only to Eru and Fili. "I am not the only one in pained need. Let us care for each other, and catch as we do."~
Fili wake to the sound of Kili's whimpers and is shocked to see the unclad form of the second most powerful of the maiar making love to his sleeping mate. (AN: Unclad in this case means two things. One, to be without a robe of flesh and two, undressed, but Unclad normally means the first.) Fili trembles in fear and rage until he sees the peace of Kili face and the rage leaves him. 'Sauron is the one that marked Kili… But he is being tender and loving and gentle with my mate, and Kili looks all too willing.'
Sauron looks into Fili's eyes pain and warning in his, but not a trace of malice or hatred, as he speaks to Fili be thought through sight. 'I will trust you with our mates Trowan now called Fili son of Dis. Keep your vows, and I will keep both of you and all that you love safe, and destroy all who try to prevent such peace, but the moment you or any of our would be mates to be harm, our kitten. I will send forth those that will bring about such doom that the whole of middle earth shiver in that shadow of my wrath. Love her, and do not return to the evil path of which you have been mercifully freed of by two whom I must yet test and try before I can know their doom.'
Fili glares heatedly until he hears Kili whimper. "Narloth, please.. Do not leave.. please.. I need you both.."
Fili smirks. 'Stay as long as you can for her. I believe you mean your threats, but if you help me to sire any children with Kili, you are nursing them.'
Sauron rolls his dim flame golden eyes. 'If I help to sire any, it would be a work of Eru's hand, and sadly I have no way to nurse any mim zes. All that would prove me as mama is gone. I am marred. The large part of my heart and soul that Eru has kept is the only part of me not marred. You left her pained in need. Do not do so again, it is a cruel, hateful and selfish thing to do to one who loves you so. I have warned you. Do not speak to anyone of me or I will take her from you to keep her safe from my enemies and yours.'
Fili blushes brightly watching them and covers his mouth, to quiet his own moans, as he feels wave after wave of their love making through his and Kili's bond. Fili starts to feel faint with pleasure and bliss and whispers. "If you ever mend, both of you never make love to me at the same time. I think I would die of bliss."
Fili pale moment as Kili goes quiet and then sees she is only sleep soundly and that Sauron was kissing her goodbye, and then was gone. 'Was it only a dream… Either way, Sauron is Kili's dream lover.. or are they mates… Would Kili even remember any about it or know about it if I woke her and asked? I need to let her sleep.'
Three hour later Nori lays nude beside a still full closed Bofur, her head resting his chest. "Bof, It's not fair that you won't let see you or touch you."
Bofur snores and wakes back up smiling at her as she growl at him. "Did I not please you my dove? Why do ya need to see me and touch me before we wed?"
Nori smirk but huffs. "Of course you did. You know Idea. I have never felt like this before, so loved, cared for and safe… Do you want me to try to show you the same."
Bofur returns her smirk. "Yes I do, but I want it to right, and I know good and well Nori child of Ri, that once yer nimble little fingers are on me I will be at yer mercy and unable to stop ya. I do not want to hurt you like those sick minded dwarrows and men did. I will not use ya, and I need ya to know that, but if ya want ta see me and can restrain yourself; I let ya watch me undress and bathe, but that my line, my Ze. I need ya to respect that. I need to wait until we are wed, by then I think I can trust myself enough to let you have yer way me."
Nori hides her blushing face. "So when are you going to bathe?"
Bofur sits up and gets off the bed and stands in doorway to the bathing chamber that he is sharing with his Bifur and Bombur. "Now would be good time, but unless yer are comfortable with my kin seeing yer body; you'd best put some clothes on. I think it was Ori that brought yer pack in. I'll wait for ya in here."
Nori moves the little wooden box and puts on some of her looser small clothes and a dressing robe, then she pick the box up and put it in the dress robe pocket.
Bofur true his word was waiting in his shock feet fully clothed sharing into the bath water deep in thought, so deep in thought that when Nori kisses him softly on the cheek nearly falls in. "Are you a Dwobbit Nori? Ya nearly caus'd ta me jump out'a my skin and into the water."
Nori chuckles smirking but then smiles. "Not quite. My, you are sensitive is that why you need to wait?"
Bofur looks at her both shy and sad. "Yeah, but yer the only one that does it ta me ta the point of near senselessness, that I know of. All these years I thought that somethin was off about me, because any time any part yer skin would even feather mine a bit. I would get warm, if'n you take meaning. When you were kissin my neck earlier, it was all that could do not to shake like leave in a gale. Do you still want me Nori."
Nori eyes were wide as was her smile nods slowly take a deep breath. "I do that to you Bof."
He looks a little ashamed. "There's been many a time when you'd catch taking my break from the mines or my forge with just my small shirt and work pants on and you'd want to rub my back and shoulders, and I would need it and it sure helped, but I would end up releasin in my pants two or three times before ya were through, but I enjoyed yer touch so much that I hid it and let ya continue. I am sorry Nori.. Why are ya lookin at me like ya did when you pin me earlier?"
Nori shook her head. "Don't even apologize. I am glad I can effect you like this. Sweet Valar Bofur."
Bofur sat in front of her. "Nori are ya alright."
Nori nods. "Sorry, just think about that implication undoes me. I have to learn how to be with you."
Bofur blushes brightly. Bifur walks in towel in hand, seeing Bofur and Nori sitting face each other blushing and wide eyed and then walks back out and say in khuzdul. "Ah young love."
Both relax and crack up, after about five minutes trying catch their breath from laughing they both take a deep breath and smile at each other all the unsurness and nervousness gone.
Bofur stand a smirks impishly at Nori. "Now I better not take these closes off to fast or ya might not be able to keep yer hands to yerself."
Nori growls playfully, smiling. "You had better not take them off to slow our I will be a wet mess."
Bofur wags his eyebrow. "I will keep that in mind for our week. I think ya would be a very lovly wet mess. Nori are those the beads?"
Nori had been holding the box so tight for dear life, fighting the urge to tear Bofur clothes off, she had nearly forgot she had it, and hands them to Bofur. Bofur open the box and smiles, tearing up. "You think that much of me Nori. How will I be able to make anything as beautiful for you, will ya please braid them in after I wash my hair?"
Nori give him teary smile. "Your too humble. I know you can out do me, but knowing that you are so pleased and that you want to wear them is more that enough to me. Of course I will, but quit stalling and give me the box."
Bofur smiles and then hands her the box back. Back ups a bit show she have full view. He quickly but not to quickly takes all of his clothes off and place his hat on top of his clothes and look into her eyes as he stands so that she can see all of him, as she take him in with her eyes. Nori start to cry, smiling. "You are like me, of both gender, and you have waited for me, and you said that I'm the only one that has ever made you feel like I make you feel, and you want to keep our bond pure when you know you could just have me. I love you Bofur. I can wait for you. I want to make you feel as beautiful as you are."
Bofur looks away sadly, but continues to stand there. Nori stand shakily and walk over to him, cupping his face in her hands turning his face to look at sees sorrow pain and fear in his eye and face. Bofur slowly pulls his face away and Nori start to sob. "Please Bofur that's not what I want you for. That's not what I meant. I mean you are beautiful through and through. I love your mind, your heart, your soul, your spirit and yes your body, but Bofur look at me. Look in my eyes and tell what see."
