Chapter 4
Neither of them got much sleep that night. This night was too precious to spend it on sleep. When they did not make love, they talked. Between sweet whispers of love Victoria asked the questions that were burning on her mind. She knew she might never get another chance to ask them.
It was before dawn when he rose. He had to leave while it was still dark and his black outfit hid him from the lancers.
"Care to have breakfast at the hacienda?" he whispered. "I'd love to stay, but there are a lot of things I have to do before I leave. I wanted to do do them this night, after I said goodbye to you."
He needn't to add that he had never planned to stay the night and that he needed to put his things in order, in case he never came back.
Victoria was torn. She longed to spend every moment with him while he was still around, but she knew that he would be very busy at home. They had agreed not to reveal anything that had happened tonight. If he returned, Zorro would still be needed and his identity had to be protected. Diego wanted to ask Felipe to make some appearances as Zorro, after he was gone, to dissuade any suspicions that Diego was Zorro. Victoria would also claim that she had seen Zorro.
"I'd love to be around you, but when I'm at the hacienda, we will have to pretend that we are nothing more than good friends while I want to be in your arms and kiss you. I don't think I can do this today. Not after all that has happened tonight. I still can't think straight and I won't be able to pretend that I'm not your wife for any amount of time. I don't know how to feel. I am happy about marrying you, but at the same time I'm terrified of losing you again. I could cry and laugh at the same time. Will you be disappointed if I don't come?"
"I understand you. Your feelings mirror mine. I don't think I will be able to pretend either. And I will be really busy. There is so little time, and so much to do. I wish I had more time to spend with you and I really hope that I will. But for now we must be content with what we had, which is more than I ever expected, when I came here last night. Sleep now my querida. I'll see you at noon, before the coach leaves."
With a long kiss that still ended too soon for both they said goodbye to each other and their love. This was the probably the last moment in private, before they had to behave in public. Tears were running down her face and she clung to him, not wanting him to go.
"I wish I could hold you forever, but I can't stop the time. I will try to be back." He shook from the effort that it took him to leave her. He kissed her once more tenderly, before he quietly slipped out of the room.
After he had left, she returned to the bed where his smell still lingered. She buried her face in the pillow and cried like never before until sleep overtook her.
